The Mother of all Days

I’ve noticed a lot of my friends, real world, bloggy world, imaginary and otherwise, are all up in arms about what they will be receiving for Mother’s Day. I understand this. Us Mommies, we are under appreciated, overwhelmed and underpaid. We get no vacation, no time off for good behavior, hell,we can’t even get solitary confinement ( all I want is to be able to pee by myself, is that really too much for a grown woman to ask for?). I have friends who want flowers, friends who want chocolates, jewels ( well, y’all know how I feel about diamonds! Now, if I could just get my husband to read my blog), nice brunch, etcetera , etcetera. If I were listing actual tangible things well, I’d say …. a breast lift, a tummy tuck, lipo,some botox, a spa day, my youth back, some energy,  a Louis bag, a Birkin bag,
some Louboutin shoes,

a Range Rover, a vacation to anywhere. This is exhausting, this list could go on forever. But what I really want is what my husband is giving me… my gardens, to provide nourishment, beauty, butterflies, and to make me feel like a better Mommy. Even better than that I will be getting a weekend ( oh yes a weekend, not 1 stinking day!Hell no..for carrying and birthing my two beautiful giant headed daughters? He’s lucky I don’t want an entire month!) of my husband cleaning the house, watching entertaining (dance Monkey , dance! Who’s the Monkey now, big Daddy?)  engaging the kids, cooking ( oh yeah, Mr. Man can cook his bootie off. He’s already called to take my weekend order. I’m not sure , but I know Strawberry Tiramisu is on the menu somewhere), doing those damn awful dishes, and me..resting and SLEEPING! Oh yeah, you heard me right. This no sleep shit is for the birds..my doctor agrees. That’s why this Mother’s Day weekend, I’ve got a hot date with AMBIEN.Come here you lovely bitch, Mama’s been waiting a long time to hook up with you..or maybe I should say bed down cause my happy ass is sleeping in this weekend! I am so excited, I just about can’t stand it! And Sunday, after I am all rested and relaxed, Mama is going to take a bottle of wine down to the media room and watch an entire movie by myself with No interruptions! ( I am not saying to mix pills and booze. They will be taken on separate occasions…just to clarify, No pills and booze will be consumed together.) I can’t wait for Mother’s Day. Who needs fancy restaurants and gifts when I can have sleep, sanity, and PEACE!! Just imagine how much more enjoyable I will be to be around and how much more I will be able to enjoy my children after a full weekend of 8 hours of sleep a night, for the first time since my lovely Bella was conceived! God Bless you honey! I promise I will return the favor on Father’s Day!

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