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Throat Punch Thursday

Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, William H Macy, Olivia Jade Giannulli, Isabella Rose Giannulli, college admissions cheating scandal

Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and 31 other parents were charged in the college admissions scandal. 50 people were charged earlier this week in a nationwide scheme to fast-track students for admission to elite colleges and universities. As a parent, I understand wanting the best for your children just like Lori Loughlin wanted the best for her daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, social media influence and fake USC crew recruits.

I understand wanting to give your child the world but isn’t cheating their way in doing them a disservice? They are learning that they can cheat their way to success and they either don’t care or have lost confidence in their own abilities to earn entrance. What these parents did was absurd and they should be held accountable. But now, it’s not just them but their kids too. These kids, whether they knew about what their parents were doing or not, have landed smack dab in the middle of this scandal. How embarrassing!

READ ALSO: They Wanted Better for Us

For example,  Olivia Jade Gianulli and Isabella Rose are losing sponsorships and their social media influence is dwindling as their teen fanbase are mad about her cheating her way into college. This scandal is not only going to probably get Lori Loughlin’s daughters kicked out of school, but it’s also going to ruin their reputation as social media influencers leaving these girls without a proverbial pot to piss in, well, except for the millions their parents have. They’ll be okay.

Also, let’s all be clear here. This is not the first time this has happened. This has probably been going on since colleges existed and wealthy parents wanted their kids to have a prestigious diploma to hang on their wall. It’s no different than the college athletes who are encouraged by the administration to skate by in easy classes to stay eligible to play. Privilege is nice if you’re on the receiving end of it.

READ ALSO: Everything in Life Worth Having I Earned in College

When I was 17, I applied to several universities, all very high-quality institutions of higher learning, some even ivy league. I got accepted to all of them through hard work, good grades and extracurricular activities. I worked my ass off for it. The only limitation I had when it came to choosing a school was money. I come from a blue-collar family, with an immigrant father and a stay at home mother. They had six kids, one salary and no extra.

Everything we got, we worked hard for. 5 out of the 6 of us graduated from college with real-world degrees. My brothers went to college on soccer scholarships and financial aid. They took the opportunity their athletic abilities provided them and used it to fund their futures.

I worked full-time, took financial aid loans and whatever scholarships I could qualify for as did my sister. I did whatever I had to; late nights, driving an hour and a half each way between school and work because to me, it was worth it. My parents taught us to take the opportunities we earned and use them to better situation.

My parents raised us with pride and integrity. They raised us to respect ourselves and the education system. Our parents inspired us to work hard and believe in ourselves. My parents may not have had money but they gave us what they could, believe in ourselves and self-confidence.

READ ALSO: How to Afford the Education your Child Deserves

Believe me, I get it, wanting to give your child every leg up that you can. But buying their way into college is not only not fair but not even helpful. Firstly, what message are you sending to your child that you have to help cheat their way into college? They are too dumb to get in on their own? Or worse, they are too lazy to try? Either way, you are aren’t doing them favors in the long run.

Secondly, you are actually teaching them to be entitled and promoting white privilege. There are things in life that you need to earn to fully appreciate them and if you don’t earn them, you don’t deserve them. Also, I don’t just blame these mothers, why are we not calling out Mossimo Giannulli or William Macy?

Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, William H Macy, Olivia Jade Giannulli, Isabella Rose Giannulli, college admissions cheating scandal

(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Thirdly, putting kids into universities that they had to cheat their way into is taking the spot of someone who earned it and belongs there on merit. These students are taking spots that they didn’t earn, probably cheating their way through ( because if they couldn’t qualify to get in on their own they probably can’t keep up) for a piece of paper they don’t need because they are already wealthy. Not to be flippant, but I haven’t heard of a lot of celebrity children going into medicine, law or other scholarly fields. Most of them either go into the family business or spend their lives living off of the spoils of their parents’ careers. I see you, Paris Hilton.

Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and all the parents who did this, shame on you and your privilege.

Meanwhile, the underprivileged, smart kids of the world who are dependent on entry into these universities to not only change their situation but their lives are screwed. Those of us who grew up blue-collar or even middle class are taught to chase the American dream and through hard work and determination we can get into the good universities and get armed with the tools to chase after those dreams.  With celebrities buying their entitled, lazy kids their way into college the kids who deserve it are losing those spots. These parents are literally stealing futures from other kids.

What are these parents teaching their children? I get it. Every parent wants better for their children then they had. It’s natural. These wealthy parents worked hard for their wealth and success. There is a sense of satisfaction and happiness that comes from working hard for something. There is pride and dignity tied to accomplishment. In the end, these parents (however well-meaning their intentions may have been) cheated their own children. They cheated all of the kids who should have earned those university spots. Cheated their own children out of the satisfaction of earning their own way.

What do you think should happen to Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and all of these parents and the students who are part of the college admissions scandal?

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Michael Jackson, Leaving Neverland, pedophile

I’m going to be honest with you. I watched Leaving Neverland the HBO documentary alleging that Michael Jackson was a predatory pedophile with a penchant for young boys. It was shocking and disturbing to see it all laid out in the documentary. I feel torn. Not because I’m wishy-washy on how I feel about pedophiles. But I feel like my entire childhood was a lie.

Do I believe Michael Jackson was a pedophile who preyed on naïve young boys? Boys who admired him and their eager to please stage moms? I do. Not because this is new information. I believed it in 2005. I found it peculiar that a grown man, even an eccentric one who never had a childhood, would host children (that weren’t his own) in his bed. Even more peculiar was why their parents would allow it?

READ ALSO: Why Girls should be able to Exist without Men Behaving Badly

It never sat well with me either that he always seemed to have a young boy as his sidekick on his tours. It’s right there in black and white in the press; Michael Jackson walking hand in hand with some preteen boy who accompanied him on his yearlong tours. It was weird then and, as a mom now, it’s absolutely suspicious. I don’t care if it was God, you cannot sleep in the bed with my child.

The world had been conditioned to expect odd behavior from the socially awkward, musical genius known as Michael Jackson. The world turned a blind eye or maybe we just didn’t want to see it and we certainly didn’t want to believe it. The thought that such a seemingly sweet, childlike man could be a predator was beyond the fathomable. Why would a man who could have almost any man or woman he wanted in the world choose little boys?

I think we all wanted to believe that he felt a kinship with these boys. He was somehow living his missed childhood with them. Or maybe he too was a victim as a child? Isn’t that how many predators become predatory? Or maybe he was just born a pedophile? Michael Jackson will never be adequately punished for his crimes.

READ ALSO: Raising Teen Girls to Survive Misogyny, Sexting and Slut Shaming

However, if all that was said in Leaving Neverland is true Michael Jackson was the worst kind of monster because he used his celebrity to lure these families, his money and fame to blind them and the public’s opinion that he was a “good guy” to mask the monster within. If this is true, he was one of the most predatory and dangerous pedophiles to ever live because he was beyond reproach even when all the evidence said he was guilty.

Michael Jackson is dead and we will never have definitive proof of his guilt or innocence. We’ll never have the satisfaction of hearing his confession. From here on out, everything is hearsay. We only have the word of broken men who claim to have been his victims when they were boys. The stories are compelling and too similar to one another to be a coincidence. The damage is done.

READ ALSO: I just want to enjoy their childhood

Michael Jackson songs tick marked my childhood. No one ever wanted the allegations to be true because what we want and what we get are two very different things. We need to embrace the truth and disappointment. I’m having trouble reconciling what I believe to be true about Michael Jackson and my love of his music. As much as I loved the music of Michael Jackson, the thought of singing along with a pedophile who preyed on young boys turns my stomach.

Listening to Wade Robson and James Safechuck describe their sexual abuse in graphic detail made me cringey. Hearing the voicemails Michael Jackson left for these young boys, reading the faxes and knowing how he ingratiated himself into the trust of their families made me sick. He was a cunning predator. He groomed his victims. The intent behind his communications is obvious to us as outsiders. Michael Jackson’s larger than life fame afforded him allowances for his odd behavior. Alarms failed these families who were duped by his celebrity.

 More than anything, though, it was difficult to watch Robson and Safechuck clearly struggling with their conflicting feelings about Jackson in real time; they are both repulsed by him and appear to have some lingering reverence, a testament to Jackson grooming them to serve his perversions.

There is nothing we can do to punish Michael Jackson. There’s not much we can do to help his victims but hear their stories and recognize their pain. We can believe them. I can no longer willingly listen to Michael Jackson. I can’t even look at his image without being disgusted. Where I once saw an icon now all I can see is a predator of children.

Have you seen Leaving Neverland or Oprah Winfrey Presents After Neverland?

What are your thoughts?

 

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Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

I think maybe Kanye West, (or is it Kanye West Kardashian?) is having a midlife crisis, an identity crisis or flat out needs some attention. He is running around Twitter posting pics of himself wearing Make American Great Again hats. Tweeting that Donald Trump is his “dragon energy brother”. Did your brain just go, “WTF” too?

We all know that Kanye West has always been about the drama and loves to stir every pot counter-clockwise. Attention is his middle name. Part of what makes him and Kim work, they get each other. Plus, they are both so busy looking at themselves in the mirror and snapping butt selfies that they don’t have the time to be bothered with what kind of crazy the other is involved in.

After Kanye West posted the pic of himself wearing the “Make America Great Again” hat and criticizing former President Barack Obama, there was backlash from fans. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

 

Look, I get it. As a Chicagoan, he has his right to have his opinion about the state of Chicago and, even though I loved President Obama, it wasn’t always smooth sailing ( remember how the gulf oil spill seafood situation was handled?) But he knew what he was doing and to be fair, he was handed a giant bad of crap when he took office. 

There’s been some beef (in Kanye’s mind) between Kanye West and Barack Obama since the President called Kanye a “jackass” in 2009 after the Taylor Swift incident at the VMA’s in 2009. Didn’t everybody?

READ ALSO: My Father the Immigrant

As one who thrives in drama, after the backlash started to roll in, Kanye West tweeted this about Donald Trump. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

“You don’t have to agree with trump but the mob can’t make me not love him,” West tweeted earlier Wednesday. “We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don’t agree with everything anyone does. That’s what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought.” 

Fuel meet fire. Twitter exploded. Kim Kardashian may have broke the internet with her ass a few years ago but I’d say Kanye West gives her a run for her money with his penchant for drama in the public eye and especially on the internet.

Of course, Donald Trump, who also loves Twitter attention had to tweet back to Kanye West, obviously, quoting his dragon energy brother. 

Kanye West, Donald Trump, Make America Great Again, Dragon energy brothers

“Thank you Kanye, very cool!” Trump tweeted on Wednesday, quoting West’s tweet.

The series of tweets comes after fans lamented a report this week from Hot 97 radio host Ebro Darden that West recently told him, “I love Donald Trump,” and defended a previous tweet in which the rapper complimented conservative commentator Candace Owens according to CNN.

I’d like to say that I am shocked but nothing Kanye West Kardashian does shocks me anymore.  I am kind of sick in my stomach that any person of color could support an openly racist man who feels that people of color are less than he is. Also, I thought we all figured out in 2016 that “Make America Great Again” was code for “Make America White Again”? Maybe Kanye was too busy stirring up his own drama that he missed the memo or maybe he is keeping his enemies closer. Maybe he is the smartest man out there or maybe he is straight up batsh*t crazy. 

READ ALSO: Eminem’s the Storm Says what All of Sane America Feels about Trump

I do agree with one thing Kanye said, we do all have the right to independent thought and freedom of speech so I guess we don’t have to like what he tweets or thinks or who he loves and supports, even if it is Donald Trump. We have the option of turning the channel and not reading his tweets, not engaging and not reacting because isn’t that why Kanye does everything? For the reaction of the public. Isn’t that his brand? Maybe this latest series of tweets on Twitter were nothing more than Kanye West once again stirring the pot counter clockwise.

What are your thoughts on Kanye West’s tweets on Twitter yesterday about Donald Trump?

Real dragon energy brotherly love or just one more way for Kanye to keep his brand front and center in the public eye?

Also, I still don’t get On Fleek or why that Walmart singing boy is so funny to floss to so can you please explain to me what the hell “Dragon energy” is? Is it like dragon breath but in energy form?

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florida school shooting, gun control, alan feis, Nikolas Cruz, Parkland Florida, High School shooting

Yesterday, 17 unsuspecting students and adults, including Aaron Feis, were murdered in a South Florida school shooting massacre by 19 -year-old, Nikolas Cruz. Gun control failed us again. The gunman, Nikolas Cruz, 19, pulled the fire alarm shortly before 3 pm at his former high school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland. As the students and faculty exited the building, he started shooting at them like fish in a barrel. But that wasn’t enough for Nikolas, he followed the people running back inside for cover and targeted those huddled in classrooms hiding. Then, he blended in with the students exiting and evacuated the school. He was arrested later that day in Coral Springs.

They’re calling it the “Florida School Shooting” to differentiate it from the other recent school shootings because they happen so frequently now. This is how we measure life and death now, by geographical location. Quick somebody drop a pin so we know where to send the SWAT team next. I’m not being funny. I am utterly disgusted at how little life means to the people of this country. We’ve done nothing since Sandy Hook. Gun control is still the same shit show it ever was.

You know, the world makes fun of helicopter moms but we’re just being rational in an irrational world. How are we ever supposed to let our children go out into the world without worrying ourselves into an early grave? No wonder so many people homeschool now because at least there you can keep your child safe. Thank God for men like Aaron Feis.

Are you there God? Where were you on Ash Wednesday 2018 when 17 people were murdered by a disgruntled ex-student, Nikolas Cruz in the Florida School shooting? What makes a person hate the world so much that they want to kill anyone and everyone that is not as miserable as they are? Don’t tell me mental illness. It’s meanness. It’s calculated. It’s evil and its people killing people with guns because they can because everywhere you turn guns are readily available. If you can’t buy the gun you want, you can buy a gun and modify it. If they won’t sell you a gun because by some miracle your crazy ass is on a list, you can build it by buying parts on the Internet. Why is this not regulated?

Nikolas Cruz has been charged with 17 cases of premeditated murder. News at 11. It was said on one newscast so matter a factly that you would have thought they were talking about a baby monkey being born at the local zoo. What kind of world are we living in? Where is the outrage? Where are the grief-stricken parents of the living students with pitchforks and torches demanding that our government do something? I mean, of course without a whole lot of people make a whole lot of stink the government is not going to do shit because they got paid a whole lot of money not to.

Former classmates said they were not surprised at the identity of the suspected shooter. Cruz loved showing off guns, student Eddie Bonilla told CNN affiliate WFOR.

“We actually, a lot of kids threw jokes around Iike that, saying that he’s the one to shoot up the school, but it turns out everyone predicted it. It’s crazy,” Bonilla recalled.

Why did no one call the police on this kid? He was clearly exhibiting unstable behaviors.

Cruz had once been expelled from the high school over disciplinary problems, Broward County Public Schools Superintendent Robert Runcie said.

 

He purchased the gun legally. He passed the background check. At 18 you can buy an assault-style weapon but you have to be 21 to buy a handgun. Let that sink in for a minute.

I find it interesting that as they were interviewing former classmates of Nikolas Cruz they were saying things like yeah, sure, Nikolas was the guy most likely to shoot up the school. He had lots of guns. The faculty at one point forbid him from carrying a backpack because of the fear that something exactly like this might happen. Yet, here we are. It happened and instead of anyone stopping him, they all just shake their head and go, we knew he’d do something like this. What the f*ck?

“This has been a day where we’ve seen the worst of humanity. Tomorrow is gonna bring out the best in humanity as we come together to move forward from this unspeakable tragedy,” Runcie said.

This is supposed to be our consolation. Humanity is going to be “better” for a few days.Celebrities are going to tweet out their prayers and condolences. Regular people are going to feign outrage without actually ever doing anything about it becoming themselves willing parts of the problem. Yeah, like the days and weeks after Sandy Hook. Nothing has changed. There are more school shootings than ever. I mean, what are the statistics for the likelihood of your child getting shot or murdered at school these days?

What’s worse, our government makes sure that these weapons are available because it’s a “constitutional right”. So when it’s your kid, or your wife or your husband or mom or dad who gets shot in the face and murdered just living their life tell me how important the freedom to have guns really is. I dare you to. I wouldn’t stand too close to me when you did it.

I keep seeing images of the teacher with ashes on her head, the hero Aaron Feis and a girl with a mylar balloon. It was probably one of the best days of this teen girl’s high school life and now, it will always be one of the worst days of her life. It’s traumatic and I think it’s the worst kind of monster who attacks people at their most vulnerable. Why do these shooters never open fire where there are trained people ready to protect themselves? Because they are cowards and they are afraid. They want to exact horror by murdering innocent, unsuspecting people because then they have the upper hand. Better yet, be a real man, come pick a fight…hand-to-hand with someone your own size and get your ass kicked the way it deserves to be. But they won’t because they are cowards of the worst kind.

But you know who are the bigger cowards? The politicians who allow the NRA to buy their votes. They value money over human life. Worse still the parents who fight for the right to bear arms and then send their children into the world to be slaughtered by people with guns. If not for yourself, do it for your children. Unless we are going to train and start sending every student to school with a weapon to protect themselves or impose real gun control, then we need to all be sterilized because I’d rather not bring a child into this world than to bring one into this world to be murdered by an NRA enthusiast.

We live in a world where every drop off good bye could be “the goodbye”. I know this. You know this. We choose our words more carefully. We hold tighter. We coddle. We spoil because any minute could be the minute someone sprays the hallways of the elementary school with bullets and paints the walls red with the blood of babies… our babies..my babies and your babies. Anyone’s babies because that is the truly scary part, no one is safe. Not even the child of a parent who is a staunch supporter of the NRA because a gunman with a semi-automatic weapon doesn’t stop to ask.

How do you explain to a parent who’s lost everything that your right to bear arms trumps their child’s right to life?

It feels like I’ve written this piece a few hundred times before because I think I have. Why have I? Why does this keep happening? Why does our government stand by and do nothing but come up with sound bites and excuses? Why do we the people accept this? When is enough too much? When it’s our own child whose tiny body lays limp and lifeless in the quad? When it’s our child who cowers and hides for hours as some person with a gun plays a sick game of hide and seek where if you’re found… you’re dead? When it’s your child, who even if they’re lucky enough to survive they are damaged forever. They are not the same child you sent to school that morning and that child may not have died but they are never coming back.

Nikolas Cruz, Parkland Florida, High School shooting

We live in a world where our children have to think fast enough to put their backpacks full of books on before running for their lives just to try to avoid getting shot in the spine. They have to remember to bob and weave. They have to stay silent and stifle tears and terror while their friend a foot away is shot dead in front of them. They have to play dead and pray the shooter doesn’t issue a kill shot to the head “just to be sure”.

Do something!! Stop waiting for your government to figure it out. Demand that they do something to protect our children. When is enough ever going to be enough? How many children have to be slaughtered in the streets, how much blood has to be on our hands before we have the balls to stand united and demand that there be stricter gun control and regulations on parts being bought? We need to make it impossible for everyone to get guns. It shouldn’t be a right, it should be a privilege and if you don’t earn it, you don’t deserve it. If you are not mentally equipped and stable enough to own and trained to operate a weapon, you should not be able to purchase one.

I know gun advocates like to say they need guns to protect themselves from intruders and government. To you I say, 1 you are more likely to be shot with your own gun from an intruder and 2, no gun can protect you from a corrupt government.

But amidst all of this horror, remember the victims like Football coach Aaron Feis who died while using his body to shield three female students. He threw himself in the line of fire to spare them. He suffered a gunshot wound and died after being rushed into surgery. The thing is he shouldn’t have had to die.

“He died the same way he lived — he put himself second,” Lehtio, a student and football team member, said. “He was a very kind soul, a very nice man. He died a hero.”

 

Don’t let the Florida School shooting and the lives of Aaron Feis and the other 16 people who died yesterday have been in vain. Take action. Demand our government to change our current gun control legislation.

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Internet Showdown: Professional Sh*t Stirrer Versus Entitled Youtuber

Have you ever heard the names, Elle Darby or Paul Stenson? Me neither until today. Talk about an influencer’s nightmare, I’m not sure it gets too much worse than this. A British Youtuber, Elle Darby, had the “audacity” to privately email a hotel, the Charleville Lodge Hotel, and ask for accommodations in exchange for “exposure” of their property. The property owner, Paul Stenson, clapped back by not only refusing and ostracizing her but doing it publicly on the establishment’s social media channels.  Therein lies the snafu and now, in response to Influencer backlash, he has banned all influencers from his establishment.

Obviously, I am being facetious. If you have worked in this space for any amount of time, at least in the United States, you know this is a common practice. Not necessarily that all influencers cold pitch businesses to ask for product in exchange for promotion. That’s a bold move and to do that, you need to have some serious confidence and influence to back it up. Seasoned influencers know this. We also know if you don’t ask, it’s always a no but there is always a chance of a no and it does not feel good, even in private.

Just to put this in perspective, brands and PR firms have absolutely no qualms about reaching out to influencers on a daily basis and asking us to work for free, for “exposure” (I keep putting this in quotes because I find it simultaneously hilarious and insulting because I can’t feed my children “exposure” and if I am spending my time away from my family working on promoting a brand, I need to be compensated) or for product. I prefer cash because that’s how I pay my bills but if the product/event is something that I am interested in and the value is equivalent to what I charge for work, then I definitely do consider it. Everything is negotiable except for my opinion, which is honest and if not positive, I always give the brand the option to opt out of the post going live. You know, the whole if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all thing.

I’ve been pitched, in the early days, to write positive reviews on products without even being provided the product. Obviously, I didn’t do that because I can’t tell you about or promise a positive review on a product that I’ve never tried. Also, crafting a well-written post, editing photos, creating video and promoting on social media all takes time and effort. No one would expect a marketing executive or an advertising firm to work for free, why would you expect an influencer to work for free?

First, I think a couple things need to be defined in this space. Why does anyone care if I (an influencer) promote a brand? How do I influence anyone? Why does my opinion matter? For any of this to make sense, you have to understand what being an influencer means.

What is an influencer?

A Social Media Influencer is a user on social media who has established credibility in a specific industry. A social media influencer has access to a large audience and can persuade others by virtue of their authenticity and reach.

Why does this matter?

Using social media influencers in your marketing is the practice of building relationships with the people who can build relationships for you. Whether an influencer’s audience is small or large, an influencer can reach consumers via their blogs and social networks that your brand may not be able to.

You see while some influencers may have little influence, some have a huge influence. It’s about more than numbers, it’s about engagement, credibility and connecting with your audience. If an influencer has developed a following over time and that audience has become invested in that influencer’s life, they do care what that influencer has to say, in the same way they might value a friend’s opinion over a brand’s commercial. Of course, there has to be taken into consideration the influencer’s integrity. Are they going to give an unbiased review? That really depends on the influencer.

After years of influencers being approached by brands to work in exchange for hosting, attending events and product we know that this is common practice. It is not unreasonable or even rare for an influencer to make this ask in return. In fact, many venues/events have media inquiry pages with forms just for this sort of ask.

I am fully aware that it sounds sketchy and maybe even entitled when you randomly find out about this practice from a salacious story on the Internet about a ghastly influencer who dared ask for something like this. Pay your own way, you think. But that’s because the general population is not aware of these practices in the digital space. I can tell you, and any brand will agree, it is easier to get paid $20000 in product than it is to get paid $1000 in cash but sometimes you don’t want $20K worth of kidney beans or bras or baby toys. That has everything to do with budgets and write-offs for the companies.

Again, if you work in this space, you already know all of this but the average person does not. My brother still doesn’t understand how “the internet” pays me. I think he thinks checks fall from the sky out of thin air. I tried to explain it once but his eyes glazed over and I could see he was hearing the Charlie Brown “Wah wah wah wah” thing. So I gave up but not today, Satan.

Elle Darby, who I had no prior knowledge of before this story blew up was just trying to “live her best life” (Generation Z you make my chuckle) working with what her mama gave her. We influencers know that if a company isn’t willing or doesn’t have the budget to pay us so we can pay for those things we need to live, it’s perfectly acceptable to (what I call) work for food, or in this case a holiday. The end result is the same.

We promote their brand to our audience (which is usually their target audience because we do our research) and in exchange they provide us with a good or service that we would have bought with the money had they paid us. We’re the new pioneers. It’s called bartering. It was the original form of payment. Google it. I’m kidding…don’t Google it. I’m sure people paid for goods and service with rocks or some shit a long time ago in caveman days

The problem is the person who did the clapping back is a skilled shit stirrer. Elle Darby made one fatal mistake and that was of asking the wrong person, Paul Stenson. The wrong person got her email or rather since he is the owner, she should have googled him before she emailed and then she would have known better.

Don’t get me wrong, full disclosure, I went to his blog and Paul Stenson is funny AF and I quite enjoy the wit and honesty, with which he writes. He gives his truth and doesn’t give a flying flick what anyone else thinks, generally, I admire that quality in a human being. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and I think that may be why he was so annoyed by the Youtuber’s gall to ask for this hosting in exchange for her work. I don’t know for sure but his blog seems like a personal blog and maybe he doesn’t work as an influencer for his own blog. After all, he has owns The White Moose Cafe and Charleville Lodge that I’m assuming his salary is in cash money. Lucky bastard.

Here is where my problem stems from, the message Paul Stenson posted on FB along with his message (both below) were not coming from his personal account but from the business account which was very unprofessional. He could have simply replied with a, “No, thank you.” No harm, no foul.

Had Mr. Stenson did the same thing from his personal account, that would simply be his opinion but as he did it as a representative of the resort and released a private business email then proceeded to chastise Ms. Darby over standard practice on behalf of the establishment, reflects very poorly on his establishment. I don’t think he’s a bad person, I just think he did a social media f*ck up under his business account. He should have hashtagged that shit #hacked.

 

Paul Stenson, Elle Darby, Elly Darby, The White Moose Cafe, Charleville Lodge, Dublin, Ireland, influencer, social media influencer, ban

 

Dear Social Influencer (I know your name but apparently it’s not important to use names),

Thank you for your email looking for free accommodation in return for exposure. It takes a lot of balls to send an email like that, if not much self-respect and dignity. 

If I let you stay here in return for a feature in your video, who is going to pay the staff who look after you? Who is going to pay the housekeepers who clean your room? The waiters who serve you breakfast? The receptionist who checks you in? Who is going to pay for the light and heat you use during your stay? The laundering of your bed sheets? The water rates? Maybe I should tell my staff they will be featured in your video in lieu of receiving payment for work carried out while you’re in residence?

Lucky for us, we too have a significant social media following. We have 186k followers on our two Facebook pages, an estimated 80k on our Snapchat, 32k on Instagram and a paltry 12k on our Twitter, but Jesus Christ, I would never in a million years ask anyone for anything for free. I also blog a bit which as far as I’m aware is another way of saying “write stuff on the internet”. The above stats do not make me any better than anyone else or afford me the right to not pay for something everyone else has to pay for.

In future, I’d advise you to offer to pay your way like everyone else, and if the hotel in question believes your coverage will help them, maybe they’ll give you a complimentary upgrade to a suite. This would show more self-respect on your part and, let’s face it, it would be less embarrassing for you. Here is a little video I produced which you may learn from. (just Google it)

Best regards, 

Paul Stenson

P.S. The answer is no.

And Paul Stenson isn’t changing his mind anytime soon. Of course, now that I see this tweet, I feel a little skeptical about the entire situation. Was it all a media stunt for publicity? Maybe the two did collaborate, after all?

 

Paul Stenson, Elle Darby, Elly Darby, The White Moose Cafe, Charleville Lodge, Dublin, Ireland, influencer, social media influencer, ban

 

I do have to say, Ms. Darby’s “over 30” reference left a bad taste in my mouth too but let’s chalk it up to youth.

Either way, what are your thoughts on this situation who do you side with the Elle Darby or Paul Stenson?

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Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Presidential debate, nasty woman, bad hombres, election 2016

I’m a nasty woman and I vote. Last night’s debate should have sealed the deal if you were an undecided voter this election. Donald Trump was an unapologetic, “unpolished turd” to paraphrase my new favorite CNN political commentator, Van Jones. If you thought his creeper, shark circling tactics of the last debate were bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.

In the third debate, Donald Trump went full on crazy with a side of delusional. Thankfully, Chris Wallace was a formidable moderator and was able to wrangle the crazy back on point, mostly. I’m sure the SNL writers were up last night fervently scribbling this week’s debate skit. It was a shit show of epic proportions but it made for some good television though for a terrifying reality.

I could provide you with a million reasons why you should be voting for Hillary Clinton (the candidate who won all three debates according to CNN) this election, most importantly the fact that Donald Trump has no political experience, but why not let him convince you himself.

Here are some quotes that resonated with me the most and as a Latina woman and mom who holds a degree in political science (Politics are my jam, people. The constitution is my bible and sometimes I wonder if Trump has actually ever read it), I cannot find any redemption, whatsoever, in this man or his campaign, especially not his politics.

Thanks to Heavy for rounding all the quotes from the debate in one spot, if you want to see a more comprehensive list of the shit storm that flew out of Donald Trump’s mouth at the third debate.

“I think it’s terrible if you go with what Hillary is saying in the ninth month you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby.”

**I’m not sure that Mr. Trump actually understands what a late term abortion is. What he just described is called a c-section. Silly Trump, all moms know that.

“One of my first acts will be to get all of the drug lords, we have some bad, bad people in this country this have to go out. We’ll get them out, secure the bothered and once the border is secured at a later date we’ll make a determination as to the rest. But we have some bad hombres here and we’re going to get them out.”

**As a first generation Mexican American, I wanted to smack the taste out of Mr. Trumps mouth when he used this term. It was derogatory in every sense of the word and I was deeply offended. I was even more offended when Republican political commentator Kayleigh McEnany implied that Latinos have no right to be offended and basically that we were being overly sensitive. It was her opinion that we needed to not be so political correct and not be offended. Easy for you to say, blonde-haired, Caucasian woman. As if her blind partisanship was not enough she has the nerve to tell Latinos what they can and can’t be offended by.

“I didn’t even apologize to my wife, who is sitting right there,” Trump said on the allegations of sexual assault against him. He called the claims “fiction.”

**Melania said he did. He said he didn’t. Either way, he looks like a jerk.

“Nobody has more respect for women than me. Nobody,” Trump repeated.

** Says the man who grabs women’s private parts at will.

“She should not be allowed to run. In that case, I say this is rigged,” Trump said.

**Isn’t this the battle cry of every poor sportsman from toddler age to, apparently, grown business man?

“We cannot take four more years of Barack Obama and that’s what you get when you get her,” Trump said at the end of the debate.

**Wait…was that an endorsement? I don’t know about you but if I wasn’t convinced to vote for Hillary already, I surely would be now!

When asked if he will accept the results of the election, Trump told Wallace, “What I’m saying is I’ll tell you at the time. I’ll keep you in suspense, okay?” (This was in stark contrast with his running mate Mike Pence, who said that they would accept the election results.”

**I’m with CNN’s Van Jones on this one.

“That is an outrage!” he exclaimed with his voice rising. “The appalling lack of patriotism from this man. The appalling lack of patriotism of this man to say this and praise Putin and Assad more than he has ever praised any American president. He doesn’t talk about George Washington, He doesn’t talk about Ronald Reagan the way he talks about Putin and Assad. This man has demonstrated an appalling lack of patriotism and you should be ashamed to defend it.”

“Such a nasty woman,” Trump called Clinton.

**I can’t even with this man. He is the most disrespectful, misogynistic man alive and to allow him to take office would be a betrayal of my love for my daughters. How could any woman put this man in office? He has no respect for women at all.

Just remember Donald, we’ve all been made to feel like the “nasty woman” at one time or another by some man and we all vote. When you go low, we go nasty!

All I can say is thank God for CNN and God Bless America because we need it. The fact that a man like Donald Trump, with no experience or understanding of politics, can even be allowed to get the Republican nomination scares me.

Would any of us allow a 4’2″, 700 lb., 69-year-old man play for the NFL just because he wanted to? No because it’s ridiculous and he might get hurt. Desire is not enough sometimes. There needs to be skill, know-how and basic requirements. So why on earth would we allow Donald Trump to become President of the United States? His lack of experience and understanding of politics will not just affect him, he will destroy our entire nation. How can anyone not see that? This is dangerous. It’s not a game. It’s our future.

Nasty women of the world and people who love nasty women vote or suffer the consequences of what your collective silence will bring. I’m voting for Hillary Clinton not just because she is a women but because she is the only qualified candidate. She has the know-how, the experience and the fortitude to get things done in America. The fact that she is a woman is only a bonus, for me.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section. Can you find any redemption in Donald Trump’s third debate performance?

If you’re a nasty woman raise your hand and get out and vote on November 8th!

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The Rio Olympics are in full swing and so is the misogyny. What if we talked about male Olympians the way we talk about female Olympians?Unfortunately, hate to say it but this week’s Throat Punch Thursday has to go to all the misogynistic men out there. No, I’m not talking to you good feminist men. You’ve got this shit handled. You understand that women are equal. You want a partner, not a slave.  You see women as people, for that I commend you.

That’s right, in this day and age, I still have to commend men who are not blind and have respect for fellow human beings because misogyny is still that rampant in our society. It happens on a daily basis, even more so than all of these police shootings of black men lately.

Aww, thank you smartphones for allowing us to reveal to the world the asshatery that plagues us. P.S. You KNOW that the twits that are shooting black men are the same sort of men who are dismissing the value of women. It’s a classic case of if you are not a white man, you really aren’t human in their eyes.

I still haven’t figured out the hierarchy though. Are black men higher up the rung or lower than women? I guess I’ll never know, being a minority woman. I’ll always be on the bottom. Lucky for you, I have a big mouth, so you’ll never forget I’m down there and you’ll always hear me. Squeaky wheel, party of all women and minorities please.

Anyways, so there have been misogynistic attacks on Hillary Clinton and Melania Trump because apparently being a woman is a liability. Having a vagina in the world puts a target on your back and it becomes a free fall for men to exploit any semblance of femininity you have as an inherent characteristic flaw.

What Melania being naked has to do with the kind of president Donald Trump would be makes no sense at all. I think he leaked it to let her take the fall for his obvious shortcomings. You know, if you’re certain that you’re going to lose an election why not blame the wife? And there have been so many crazy things said about Hillary that I can’t even list them. One of the worst, being the first woman to ever be elected as a presidential nominee and having the cover story photo be of a man. What the f*ck?

But then there are the Olympics, one amazing female athlete after another crushing it but do we give them credit? Nope, we reduce them to feminine stereotypes or attribute their success to their husbands. Firstly, gold medal gymnasts are highly evolved athletes not bubble gum smacking teeny boppers at the mall. These young ladies have poured hours of their lives, their very childhood, into becoming super athletes don’t trivialize their achievements or their sacrifices.

Also, when a woman wins a medal, don’t attribute the medal to the man she is married to. She’s the one who did the work. She’s the one who earned her spot. She’s the one who trained and made the sacrifices. Give her the glory. I don’t give a fuck what football team her husband plays for or if he helped train her. Do we give credit to Michael Phelps fiancé and coach every time he medals? Why do we have to undermine these women’s achievements? Does it make men feel better that they can take credit for our successes?

What’s next, commentary on fashion and how the female athlete’s bodies look in their outfits? Oh wait, I’ve already seen a thousand dirty comments about wanking to the women’s volleyball team. Have some respect people. Women are people too! A gold medalist is a gold medalist is a bad ass and her accomplishments should not be reduced to another pat on the back for the man in her life.

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Dani Mathers, body shaming, Playboy playmate, mean girl, woman hating woman

Dani Mathers, Playboy Playmate of the year 2105, is easily the biggest bitch and ugliest woman on the Internet thanks to her body shaming shenanigans. Nothing like being beautiful and a mean girl. That’s original. Want to kick some puppies and pick on kids in wheelchairs next, Dani Mathers? To add insult to injury, she backtracked her bad behavior with a  half-assed apology saying that she shouldn’t have taken the photo of the naked woman and posted it and she’s better than that; it was supposed to be a private chat. Either way lady, you are the worst. Your half-assed apology only proves one thing, that you are sorry that you got caught. Period. If you were really sorry that you body shamed some poor unsuspecting woman trying to get healthy, you wouldn’t have taken the picture and posted it in the first place.

You are the worst kind of woman, Dani Mathers.

As I stood there, in my nothingness, my stomach began to hurt. Looking down, I saw nothing. No hips. No hair. Just breast buds. What does that even mean? It’s like they weren’t even trying and hair on my legs. The hair my father refused to let me shave. I stood there trembling, assessing the situation and realized that while over the summer I had a massive growth spurt, it was in all the wrong places. I was tall and gangly with just a hint of a child’s body, a whisper of a woman’s and nothingness surrounded by beautiful, in full swing pubescent girls. F*CK! Now, I have to get naked and walk into the showers with all their glory and all of my nothing.

I’d been avoiding this for as long as I could. You can only have so many periods and illnesses before the gym teacher demands that you see a specialist. So, I took a deep breath and took the longest walk ever into the public showers in the gym locker room at Middle school. It was my first walk of shame, if you will. I kept expecting the locker room scene from Carrie to take place, only I had no period and was definitely waiting with baited breath for it to happen.

Girls don’t stare at one another per se but at that age, you definitely look, if for nothing else to see how you “measure up” and believe me you, I wasn’t measuring at all. It was the same year that my dad would tell me that I needed to “run more” and not coincidentally, the year I developed my first eating disorder. I felt my body being judged and shamed from that moment on and I hated it.

Dani Mathers is not the exception, she is the more often than not the rule.

As I got older and as things did begin to fill in, I expected it to get better because I’d look like the other girls but it never did. In fact, I never seemed to be in sync with everyone else’s body. I swear I was still able to wear camis until I was 15 because I had no breasts to speak of. I felt disfigured. Obviously, I was a late bloomer because, if you know me, a size D is definitely not nothing. It is definitely something in the world of breasts but with that came an entirely new set of problems.

Like many women, I’ve never been completely comfortable in my own skin. I’ve always found myself hunching, sucking in, pulling at and pushing out different parts of my body and still, never felt good enough to be stared at or called beautiful. I think many women can relate to this. The way we look is our Achilles heel. It’s the one thing that we, women, feel very personal about and one that we have very little control over.

Sure, we can work out and starve ourselves. We can dress in the nicest clothes and the best make-up. We can get all the blow outs we can afford, and maybe even more than we should, but we can’t fight genetics. Our body puts us in a position of vulnerability that we don’t often experience. It also makes us feel the most judged, as women. We know we do it, whether it’s intentional or not, and we know everyone does it. We all measure our bodies against others. We score ourselves in comparison to some unrealistic, unattainable idea of what a woman is supposed to look like; based on what we think men want.

I used to blame men for their expectations but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I don’t dress for men. I dress for women.  Men are so much less critical of women’s bodies than women. We judge other women harshly, and we judge ourselves even more harshly.

I’ve always felt trepidation about being naked in front of other people, especially women. Since that very first group shower in middle school, I became painfully aware that we were all being judged and judging. Measuring who we were against other women. It might not be nice or politically correct, but it is what it is and it is. However, the problem comes when we make the choice to share those inner criticisms or think we have the right to openly evaluate another woman’s body especially behind her back and to other people. In fact, keep that shit to yourself.

This week, Dani Mathers, a 29-year-old Playboy Playmate of the Year 2015, was sitting in the sauna at the gym when she thought it would be funny to snap photos of a naked woman changing in the locker room.

The woman had no idea. The locker room is supposed to be a safe zone. But it gets even worse.

She not only snapped the unsuspecting woman’s naked pictures, she shared them to SnapChat with the caption; “If I can’t unsee this then neither can you!” Right next to that, a picture of Dani Mathers covering her mouth in laughter or disgust, I’m not sure which. What a witch! All of our insecurities and fears as naked women, come to fruition in one mean girl tweet! Isn’t enough that we have to fight men for every crumb of equality and respect we can get, do we really need to battle the mean girls too?

Dani Mathers, body shaming, Playboy playmate, mean girl, woman hating woman

Not only was it a super shitty thing to do. Dani Mathers completely violated this woman’s right to privacy.

I hope the woman in question sues Ms. Mathers and gets her banned from locker rooms everywhere. Mathers is the worst kind of woman, the kind who knocks other women down to feel better about herself. Thankfully, Dani Mathers has lost her job and will be banned forever from LA Fitness locker rooms everywhere. Hopefully, that will put an end to her reign as top dog mean girl.

Isn’t it enough that she’s Playmate of the Year, which one would expect implies a degree of expectation of beauty does she have to belittle and body shame all the regular women? Lucky for her being a Playmate of the year isn’t based on intelligence or the kind of person that you are on the inside because Ms. Mathers you are a hideous monster among a world full of assholes.  You may have been crowned their new queen and rightfully so.

What are your thoughts on Dani Mathers snapping photos of unsuspecting women in the locker room and body shaming them?

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Nakia Jones, Alton Sterling, gun control, cops gone rogue

I just watched the videos of the murder of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and I am sick and disgusted. I am fucking angry. Why does this keep happening? Why do we live in a world where it is acceptable, with only a slap on the wrist, for cops to kill people for nothing more than being black? Where we are actually considering actively electing a blatant racist to the highest office of our government and where the right to own a gun is more important than the right to live? What the fuck, America?

As a human being, I cannot process the news lately and I can’t understand how intelligent people can keep allowing this to happen. The saddest part of all, none of this is new and that is what disappoints me the most. We’re a nation stuck on stupid and those of us who know better need to work harder, scream louder, fight stronger and stand together to stop this from happening again….and again….and again. I don’t want to live in this loop of senseless death and disregard for human life any longer. I am angry. I am past sad and have gone directly to furious.

Alton Sterling, a 37-year-old black man, was standing in the parking lot selling CDs, as he had for years, when two cops, officers Blane Salamoni and Howie Lake, arrived on Tuesday night in response to a 911 call about a man threatening someone with a gun.

Only Sterling was not brandishing a weapon, according to witness Abdullah Muflahi. Sterling did have a gun on him (but isn’t that what all the Second Amendment supporters have been fighting for?) but it was concealed in his pocket and not in his hand. By Wednesday morning Sterling was dead after a jumpy cop unloaded his weapon into his chest and protesters were in the streets of Baton Rouge.

Update: Not even 24 hours later, Philando Castile was shot dead in the driver’s side of his car after being pulled over for a broken taillight in Falcon Heights Minnesota. When he was told to present his license and registration, he disclosed that he was licensed and carrying a concealed weapon. Before he knew what had happened, the cop fired on Philando Castile. His fiance Diamond Reynolds Facebook lived the aftermath. Castile was left sitting in the car dying, the cop still had his gun drawn on the car with the woman and her 4-year-old child still sitting in the car. Mr. Castile was guilty of nothing. His only offense was being born black. What is this world coming to?

The thing is that is not enough. It can’t be one group of people or one city, we all need to stand up and say no more; as a nation…as a people…as the human race. We have to put the world on notice that we will allow no more reckless, senseless killings of our sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. No more.

It’s not just about the cops, though there certainly seems to be a God complex that goes along with the protect and serve oath and why are some Caucasian cops afraid of black and brown men? Is it your racism showing? Is it your guilty heart of decades of treating other human beings like animals?

Alton Sterling, gun control, cops gone rogue, Nakia Jones

This problem, it’s about people. It’s about those of us who are allowing this kind of behavior to be tolerated and swallowed whole all the while it’s choking us to death. It’s about the people who are racist and allowed to take an oath to protect and serve a community and given a gun but who only want to protect and serve those who look like them. I thought they gave psychological evaluations before allowing someone to join the force? Are God complexes and racism not grounds for not allowing someone to be an officer?

We can’t wish away this problem. We can’t just talk about it. We need to stand up against it. We need to put ourselves in the line of fire and take a risk to save a nation that is slowly killing itself. Complacency is a fucking disease and it should be a sin because if you are doing nothing to find a solution, you are part of the problem. Your silence is noted. I see you. Just as clearly as I see those who speak up, stand up and fight for better. Everyone sees you and your sin of silence just as clearly as we see those who perpetrate these heinous crimes.

I cried when I saw the video of Alton Sterling being shot twice in the chest and 4 more times. I cried when I saw the video of Philando Castile bleeding out in the front seat of his car in front of his girlfriend and her little girl. I cried because this is the world we live in and this is what we’ve all come to not only accept but expect! I cried because I was angry and sick. I cried because these men were shot in the streets like animals. I cried for their families who lost him; children who lost their daddy. I cried for their parents, brothers and sisters. But mostly, I cried for the sheer terror and betrayal that must have been going through these men’s heads in their final moments when looking up at the very people who are supposed to protect us from the bad people, shooting them dead.

Then, I saw this video of Officer Nakia Jones of Cleveland, Ohio and she gave me hope. Don’t feel hopeless. Do something about it. Watch this video and know that we are all just people. These cops that we hear about shooting and killing our children are not the only ones on the force, there are good guys too. There are officers like Nakia Jones who live their lives to protect and serve their community and they feel as strongly as we do that this is bullshit and has to stop.

Be the change you want to see in the world! If you want to stop the next Alton Sterling from being murdered, challenge yourself to do more than just talk about it and forget about it.

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bigger women, beautiful women, all women, women, happy in your own skin, body acceptance, self-love, dating a bigger woman

Yesterday, I read an article about what men think about dating bigger women. It was called 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman and kept waiting to read that it was a joke; a satirical piece written about society’s treatment of overweight women. Unfortunately, it was not. It was just one douchey guy’s opinion about men who date women who are not “hot” and rocking the unattainable, bullshit body stereotype that media would have you believe is real. It’s not. Even the skitches you see with those bodies in magazine spreads, don’t have those body types. They have photoshop. There may be 1% of 18 –year-olds who are rocking that body without medical assistance.

As a rule, women have been fighting men’s traditional stereotype of “hot” since the dawn of time. In fact, many a woman has developed eating disorders and poor self body-image to adhere to society’s standard of beauty. Let’s face it, in the United States, skinny still is the determining factor of whether or not a woman is considered hot. If you doubt my assessment, just read the article written in The Richest.  This guy is everything that is wrong with the world. He is the oppressor of women and should be called out as such.

Jim Hogue’s bullet points about why dating bigger women is settling for less than:

“Lots of times you see a guy, he could be normal sized or he could be overweight himself, with a woman that is a bit overweight. When that happens a bunch of things go through a guy’s mind. On the one hand you might feel a little bad for the guy, but on the other hand you might think that he was really in love, or at least was with someone he really liked. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.”

Apparently, men who date bigger women are to be pitied.

His List of 15 thoughts every guy has when dating bigger women.

Your Date is Tough

Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys. This guy wants a girl to hang out with that is tough, and can take care of herself. This is the kind of woman that mowed the lawn when she was growing up and went fishing with her dad. Maybe that is not the kind of girl that you imagine hanging out with, but hey, to each his own.

 

My Girl Can Cook

So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason, and usually that reason has something to do with food. While it might be fun to be out clubbing with some hot woman, it is just as fun, and maybe more fun to the right guy, to stay at home and have a woman cook for him and take care of him.

 

Calorie Counting is Out

So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself. Well, this is no problem at all with the plus-sized girlfriend; just give her a ring and tell her that you are on your way home and are picking up a large pie. The only problem is you are going to have to buy two.

 

It is Good for His Confidence

Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women.

 

He Might Like Them Better

While so many people look at a guy with a plus-sized woman and feel kind of bad for him, very few actually seem to understand that a lot of guys actually really like women that look this way. To each his own, people like what they like and there are a lot odder things that people are into than that.

 

They Are Easy to Talk To

One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women, a girl that can relax and talk is a breath of fresh air. Let’s face it, so many women that look traditionally hot have never really learned the art of conversation, and most of them are not that funny. A plus-sized woman is the exact opposite. They are used to working their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws.  Most girls that are overweight tend to be really fun, and easy to talk to about pretty much anything. A guy that dates a normal-sized girl is not used to that at all.

 

**Oh look, this asshole managed to completely insult ALL women in one single paragraph! ***

 

Picking a Place to Eat is Easy

You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food. Or it could be that you go to order pizza and you want sausage and onion and she wants feta and greek olives?  Sometimes that whole scene can turn into an enormous fight when you are dating a chick that is average-sized. Well, if you are dating someone that is plus-sized, then you don’t have to worry about this a whole lot. She is going to probably be willing to go pretty much anywhere you want her to, at any time.

 

The Cuddling is the Best

There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask?  Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. It feels like you are snuggling with your 12-year-old brother.  Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman. In fact, once you start to cuddle her, you might not want to stop. It really is that good. Overweight women should hire themselves out as professional cuddlers. Oh, and also they are willing. A plus-sized girl is going to tend to be happy for that sort of attention, no doubt about that at all. All you have to do is lay down on the couch and look at her in a sweet way, and you will get your cuddle going before you know it.

 

She is a Built in Work-Out Buddy

A thin chick probably has a pretty stingy workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. Not so if you are dating an overweight chick. She is probably going to be up for trying pretty much anything that you are into when it comes to training or working out. Sure, she might lag a little bit at first, but all that does is take a lot of pressure off your shoulders, and that is never a bad thing.

 

There is Less Pressure on How You Look

if you are dating a plus-sized woman. This is a whole new world: all of sudden kicking around the house all Sunday watching football and eating a whole bag of Cheese Doodles is more than fine. The woman you are dating is not going to care even a little bit about how much you weigh or what you eat, and that in itself can be priceless.

 

Jealousy is a Thing of the Past

Being jealous is a way of life for a lot of guys. It is one of the problems of having a super hot girlfriend. It is not like you are the only one that notices; everywhere you go people are going to be checking her out and sometimes, if you are a certain type of guy, that kind of thing can drive you crazy. And truth be told, this is why a lot of guys like dating a woman that they don’t have to worry about unwanted eyes.

 

They Tend to be Funny

Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?

A big chick is very often a really funny one, it happens all the time. It is no coincidence that so many female comedians tend to be a bit on the big side.

 

They Tend to Be Eager to Please

While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite. They are often not used to being with a guy and are insecure about it. They want you to be happy. Whether it is going out or staying in, what movie to see, or what you do in the bedroom, most of these women are eager to please. In their minds you have looked past their physical issues and are into them for who they are. Which in turn often makes them very willing, in all sorts of ways. A guy with a plus-sized girl can soon feel like a king, which can be really appealing to the guy that was getting pushed around in another relationship.

 

You Can Take Her Anywhere

She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do. Want to spend the day at the beach? She will go and rub lotion on your back in those hard to reach places. Want to spend the day doing yard work? She will probably be up for doing that as well, and may even outwork you while doing it. A typical guy that dates a plus-sized woman really gets used to hanging with someone agreeable for a change, and who quite often is up for anything. This is not to say that most hot women are not agreeable of course. Actually, who am I kidding, that is exactly what I mean.

 

They are Easy to Ask Out

Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman, so sometimes a guy ends up asking someone he is pretty sure that he will not get rejected by, which is why he asks out a plus-sized woman in the first place.

 

Firstly, who is defining what’s considered “bigger”? Is it a size 8, 10, 14, 20, 26? Is it anything above a sample size. That may be “Normal” in places where looks are all that matter and eating disorders and plastic surgery are the norm (I’m looking at you California) but it’s not in the rest of the world. And who defines beauty anyways? The media which is controlled, predominantly, by men.

 

There are plenty of fat, bald and old guys out there with wives, girlfriends and partners and no one flinches. No one feels sorry for their spouses. The assumption is that their partner loves them, not that their partner settled for them so why is it that society assumes that in order for a man to love a woman who is not anorexic, he must be settling and it could not possibly be a physical attraction? Besides, when choosing a partner, initially we are attracted to the way a person looks (that’s human nature) and then we fall in love with who they are and all their qualities that we find endearing and that is different for every single person.

 

The fact that this guy assumes that because a woman is “bigger” she is being settled for and that if is guy is dating a “bigger” girl it is out of desperation or some sort of willful act of giving up makes me sick. I also find it kind of alarming that he manages to insult all women in his piece. He basically calls skinny women unapproachable bitches that he is not up for the challenge of even attempting to date and he infers that bigger women are so needy and willing to please that he’ll settle for less than “perfect” in order to not face rejection.

As a woman who has been the thin hot woman and I know the burden of being a “bigger” woman and everything in between, I can assure you that there are plenty of men out there who want all women. Good, decent respectable men who are attracted to all types and don’t consider it settling or giving up on life to date a woman who crosses the threshold of a size 6. Only men with small minds judge women on the size of their asses.

This article is more telling about Jim Hogue’s, the author, shortcomings than anything else. Let me tell you one last thing Mr. Hogue on behalf of women everywhere of every size, none of us wants you because you are ugly to the core and that is worse than fat any day of the week. You sir deserve this week’s Throat Punch Thursday!

Throat Punch Thursday,dating bigger women

If you’d like to read the article 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman in its entirety it is here.

What are your thoughts on his take on dating bigger women?

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