web analytics
Category:

Mom Life

Jennifer garner, Jennifer Garner had the Audacity to Go Jogging Make-Up Free and the Internet is Showing its Misogyny and Ageism

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

This past Saturday, actress and doting, single mom of three, Jennifer Garner, was spotted in her residential neighborhood of Brentwood jogging with a friend. While doing her best and incorporating some cardio exercise into her almost certainly busy day, she didn’t let the rain stop her. 

The actress was caught running with a makeup-free face, hair pulled back in a messy bun, like most moms I know on most days. This is one of my absolute favorite things about Jennifer Garner, her relatability but at the same time absolute bad ass mom. Not everyone sees it that way. In fact, some critics were calling her names like “old plastic granny” and “platypus”, one man, even had the audacity to say, “Another single mother! She looks…60 years old grandma!” Be careful internet, your misogyny and ageism are showing.

Let me interject something, as a 50 year old woman who walks a 5K everyday rain or shine, sweltering heat or cold 40 degree mornings, without makeup, in a baseball cap, we are not doing any of it for you. Not for any of you. In fact, we give no shits about what you think we look like or think. We’re doing it for us. We are doing it for our children. We are doing it for the people we love and who love us. We give no fucks what 50 something Joe Single, who probably lives in his mama’s basement, thinks. Keep your opinions to yourself. Better yet, just shut all the way the fuck up. 

Why does society think it has the right to comment on women’s looks? I don’t know Jennifer Garner’s “why” but I know mine. I am 50 years-old. I am newly peri menopausal and on some days it feels like my body is foreign to me. I physically and mentally look and feel differently than I did when I was younger. I have different priorities and a different perspective. That doesn’t mean I am less than, it means that I need to do what works for my new state of being. I’m diabetic. I have children and a husband who I adore and choose to revolve my life around because that is what I signed up for. I don’t regret it or begrudge it but, on some days, it can be really fucking hard and I’m human. Jennifer Garner is human and as much as we try to ignore hurtful comments, we’re human. Even if your opinion doesn’t matter, it hurts our feelings.

Do you know how hard it is to carve out 30 minutes to an hour a day to exercise? It feels like a luxury. It’s not. It is maintenance to stay alive. Some men spend hours a day at the gym trying to get shredded and no one is talking shit about them spending too much time away from their family or looking like a ball sack while sweating their asses off and making their taking a shit faces. No, they are commended. But let a mom, who already feels guilty for doing anything for herself, alone, even in the name of her health and everyone and their mom’s got to weigh in. Fuck them.

I walk for my health and sanity. I walk for Vitamin D, for my ADHD, for an hour to clear my mind and focus, honestly, on some days, for the health and safety of my family. I want to live to be a really old lady, one who might actually look like a platypus at 103 and you better believe that I will proudly be walking my 5K and looking like a drowned rat because this is for me and the people I love, not some random assholes who have nothing better than to do than criticize a woman doing what they aren’t capable of doing. 

Getting older is hard for everyone. Nobody relishes the thought of feeling old, irrelevant or forgotten. Even though in this case, feeling forgotten would be the kinder option. Absolutely no one is excited about looking older. We all struggle. It takes time to acclimate and get used to our new state of being on a good day, without anyone pointing it out. 

 the Internet is Showing its Misogyny and Ageism

Society encourages us to grow old gracefully. We try. But that same society either treats us like we are invisible or offensive for simply trying to exist in a society not meant for us. Something I’ve realized as I age, I always feel 25 years old and, some days, I feel 18 and, then, there are the days when my knees feel 87. But on every single one of those days, I am worthy of existing. Aging does not mean that you are useless or have nothing left to contribute. We still have feelings and we are conscious of being pushed out and away. Everyone does. No one likes those feelings, not when we’re teenagers and we like them even less as adults. When I think of how our parents and grandparents must have felt, or feel, watching a world and society progress, while intentionally and aggressively telling them to stay put; treating them like they have nothing of worth to offer, it breaks my heart.

All this to say, it would have been absolutely weirder if Jennifer Garner would have been seen out running in the rain with a face full of makeup. Then the critics would have said she is trying too hard to hold on to her youth. See, you can’t win for losing in other people’s eyes so just be yourself, do you boo and be happy.  Fuck the haters. They will never have what she has and not achieve what she’s achieved. 

The only person any of us are accountable to is ourselves and the only people we owe any care to what they think is those people we love, and even then, it really boils down to what we think about ourselves. Love yourselves like your mama loved you. Run in the rain. Dance like no one’s watching. Speak your truth. The only person you need to care about what they think about you is YOU. Don’t let other people, smaller people than you, people who don’t matter tell you how to live your life. In a world of plastic and filters in a curated existence of perfection that doesn’t really exist, strive to be a real, good human. You are beautiful and you matter; you always have and you always will.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Mom matriculation, the hardest part of motherhood, college drop off

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Mom matriculation. Have you heard of this? No? Yeah, I just made it up. Its definitely the hardest part of motherhood. It’s the culmination of the letting go that begins with senior year and just when you think its at its hardest, graduation, you unlock a new, unfathomable level of mom heartbreak… college drop off day. Bella is ready to launch but I’m not ready to let go. I don’t know if I ever told you guys the story of how I was supposed to go to Boston University, but,  about 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave, 4  little words from my dad stopped me dead in my tracks, “See you next summer.” What??? Immediate failure to launch..

I had never even spent 1 single night away from my parents because in Mexican culture we just don’t do that. Due to our strong multi-generational family ties, family is not only a big part of who we are,  it’s everything.  My dad’s words had great emotional power over me, in fact, more power than anyone else’s. Not in an intentional manipulative way, its just that his words have always landed like concrete on my heart. His opinion always mattered, and still matters, the most to me.  I’ve always held a tiny grudge about this. But that was all before I was the parent having to let go of my own, precious child. Now, I definitely get it, but,  I refuse to do that to my girls. Even if it kills me, in the process. 

I thought it was all overkill, until I got my first pangs of impending mom matriculation.

Due to this particular incident, and knowing how it completely altered my timeline and changed the trajectory of my life, I swore I’d never say or do anything to hinder my own children’s flight pattern. But again, that was before I knew what I know; that was before I was the parent in the scenario sending my own precious child off into the world, alone,  without me. 

Fast forward to 10 years ago,  when my oldest nephew was heading off to college, a “mere” 65 minutes away from home. Back before I realized that whether it’s 25 minutes or 65 minutes or 12 hours away,  living away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because out of your house means out of your house. Your child is no longer bounding through the house, randomly hugging you and asking for a Starby’s run while blasting Swiftie or Megan thee Stallion, while you all sing to your heart’s content.

I vividly remember my nephew going away to college, instantly regretting his decision and my brother and sister-in-law immediately agreeing to pick him up  and bring him back home, regardless of forfeiting his athletic scholarship.  Absolutely without hesitation, they agreed. In my naivate, I was actually disappointed in their decision ( as if it were any of my business) and really couldn’t understand why they hadn’t encouraged him to stay a little while longer. 

None of the baby books warn you about the pain of college drop off. No one warned me that launching my child into adulthood would feel like part of my own body was being ripped away.

When I started Purdue University,  a ” mere” 3 hours from home, I remember in those first few weeks sitting alone in my dorm room feeling that it was the winter of my discontent. Wishing someone, anyone,  would come to my rescue and demand I return home. But that never happened and, in the end, everything worked out. I learned how to navigate life without my parents, eventually became adult-ish and had a terribly good time doing it. After the situation with my nephew, it reaffirmed my belief that I would “never” do what my brother and his wife did. Big words from a mom of elementary schoolers. That was before I was the mom of a college freshman about to matriculate herself out of my orbit. 

If you thought labor and delivery was the hardest part of motherhood, hold on to your Lulus because the mental anguish of letting go makes child birth feel like a cake walk and that’s coming from a woman who did it unmedicated.

Bella decided last spring to defer acceptance to her first choice college and attend a private liberal arts college nearer to home her first year. She realized after several college visits that she prefers the intimate vibe of a smaller campus over a huge bustling one. She decided that she wanted 1 more year at home. I greedily accepted her decision. The school happens to be 25 minutes from my front door. Then, she decided to live at home this year, instead of on campus. Again, I greedily and whole-heartedly accepted her decision. Next year, she has every intention on transferring to her first choice. In fact, it’s already being carefully planned and coordinated with that prestigious university. They are happily awaiting her transfer and, barring any unforeseen circumstances, 356 days from today she’s fully spreading her wings and flying away. 

Those of you who have already survived mom matriculation, the hardest part of motherhood thus far, and are letting go when every single cell in your body wants to hold on for dear life… you are so strong.

I know many of you have dropped your babies off at college in the past couple of days and weeks and have driven away sobbing as you bravely left your hearts on campus. I’ve been watching your posts and feeling those pangs of motherly heartbreak right along with you, mostly for you. But now, something strange has started to happen, I’m getting very overwhelmed and feeling very anxious in anticipation of my impending turn to let go. Fuck, I really don’t want to. ( I’m only saying this here because I can never utter the words “Don’t go” that my heart is screaming inside my head.) Just as I’m sure,  none of you wanted to. I wanted to be cool about all of this but I’m realizing that I’m probably going to be the uncoolest about  it. 

This Friday is move in day for students living on campus at Bella’s school and also, the matriculation ceremony and banquet for freshman, kicking off a weekend long “welcome to campus” extravaganza. While Bella is not moving on campus, as if graduation itself was not the signal of the end… the matriculation ceremony is here to put a fine point on the fact that your child is no longer yours but almost, completely autonomously their own. 

So while she’s still technically here, she’s really there. I know that just like on the day she was born and everything changed, on Friday everything changes again and in 356 days… everything changes forever. No matter how tight my mama heart wants to hold on to the most precious thing in my world, I know I have to let go. And at a time when all I want to do is hold her closer and cling to her more tightly (maybe more than ever), I have to gently push her away with a smile and encouragement, while convincing her that I’m fine and it’s all going to be amazing, because for her, it will be and that’s all that matters right now. 

College drop off feels sort of like we’re heading into this weird parent-child purgatory where we’re both growing, letting go and being let go of, it’s by far the hardest part of motherhood.

Then, I’ll have to hug her, a hug that I know will need to sustain me for weeks or months (this child of mine, who I’ve hugged and kissed several times a day since her existence, who I’ve shared everything with) and I have to release her as mine as she runs towards who she’s meant to be. And I have to do it with grace and unconditional love because this is about her, not me. This is the beginning of her beautiful journey. Then, I’ll have to drive away leaving my child behind, seeing her walking towards her future in the rear view mirror as I become more of her past than her future. If this isn’t the hardest part of motherhood, I don’t know what is and I don’t want to know.

Mom matriculation, the hardest part of motherhood, college drop off

This starts Friday. I can already feel it. I’ve felt the pangs and waves of letting go all summer. I don’t know how I’ll survive my mom matriculation, especially, since I have to do college drop off this Friday, then again next August and then again the following year for my youngest. I know I will survive. Because now I know, living 25 minutes or 12 hours away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because in your heart is in your heart and no amount of time or distance can separate the bond between a child and their parent. 

No matter how near or far she flies away, I’ll always just be a phone call, text, car or plane ride away and this is how we survive college drop offs and new beginnings, her and us…mostly us. This is why I smile for her while my heart completely breaks for me. This is how we survive the hardest part of motherhood… the letting go. 

I’m seriously thinking of starting a mom support group for middle-aged, perimenopausal moms who’ve had to send their children off to college and are trying to survive the letting go. If you want in this mom matriculation posse, let me know. We’ll get through this college drop off, suffer being left behind next chapter of our lives together. Freedom is not what its all cracked up to be. Why didn’t the baby books warn us about this bullshit?

If you can relate or just love following along, as I head off into the motherhood unknown, please like, share and follow. 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes

OMG, I’m having all the feels. It’s the night before graduation and suddenly, I’m freaking the fuck out. How did it all go so fast. It feels like just yesterday I was reading that damn book The Night before Kindergarten. Where did the time go?

Am I really supposed to start letting her go? Already? I can’t. No, I won’t. I refuse.

Okay, I will but I don’t want to. I love this kid more than everything else in the world. Like take everything else but let me keep these girls. Oh, shit! Is this grief? Am I bargaining?

Wait. What? Who am I? Where am I? I don’t think I can do this. It hurts too much.

Wait? Is this labor? Am I in fucking labor? I know I can’t stop it. But I want off this runaway train. Okay, just slow down. Tomorrow.is.graduation.

TOMORROW.IS.GRADUATION!!!!!

This is not a fucking drill. My baby is graduating from high school and I.AM.NOT.OKAY! I won’t even pretend to be.

I’m freaking out. It’s like the universe is trying to steal my baby and human traffic her.

NO. Stop. I fucking refuse.

Fuck you, time. You cruel, unrelenting bitch.

Not my baby. Not today, Satan.

Oh God. I have to let her go. I have no choice. She is mine but she is her own. I raised her for this very moment.

Raised her to be strong, fierce, and independent.

I raised her to be confident and believe she can do all the things.

Yes, I raised her for the graduation of life from being my child to her own person.

I raised her to leave me.

Now, I have to let her.

Oh, but I don’t want to.

Yes, I am fully aware that I sound ridiculous and like a petulant child but I give no fucks. I don’t want to let her go. 

It all started with that damn kindergarten.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

It went too fast.

I wasn’t counting the years because I was fully immersed in the moments.

love letter to my teen daughter, Bella, teen birthday

From the moment you were born, you filled me with so much love that I laughed and I cried simultaneously. I’d never experienced loving anyone as much as I did you in that moment.

Mother, mother's day,Johnsons and johnsons

I’ve spent the last 18-years of my life putting out fires and kissing booboos.

I was swaying and rocking. Meanwhile, holding tiny hands and filling my lap, saying I love you to the moon and back as many times a day as I could. I wanted to make sure it stuck.

Now, it’s the night before graduation and I’m not ready.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

On other days, I was too exhausted to think and just tried to survive the day.  But I was happy. For 18 years, even when I’ve been sad, exhausted or overwhelmed, my heart has been full because of you and your sister. 

love letter to my teen daughter, Bella, teen birthday

When the world made no sense, you were my why. When life was too hard, you were my reason. You are my hope for the future. Your graduation just puts a fine point on it all.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

I spent years holding you as you drifted off to sleep to the sound of my voice reading Mrs. McNosh does the Wash over and over again in silly voices. I’ve probably read it a million times, however, I’d read it a million more. I was always happy to do it just to hear your sweet, tiny giggle.

love letter to my teen daughter, Bella, teen birthday

I didn’t see the years for the moments.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

Years spent driving you to ballet, gymnastics, or cheer but worth it to look in the rearview mirror and see you and your sister smiling. It was worth to see the look on your face when performed or got fitted for your first pointe shoes. It was worth it to see your months of practice pay off when you danced the Nutcracker.

raising girls, to the moon and back, ballet, nutcracker

I sat for hours in pick up lines and bleachers; watching you cheer, watching you sing, watching you play the violin, watching you dance and play soccer.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

I.was.watching.you.

Always in awe and always with my chest puffed out and my heart overflowing with more love and pride than one body can contain. I wish that you could see you through my eyes.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

I was watching you become you and I didn’t even know it.

Yes, I cried a lot. I cried and laughed when you were born because I couldn’t believe that I created such a perfect, tiny human.

I’ve cried from exhaustion when you wouldn’t sleep on those first nights home and kept cluster feeding.

I cried from guilt (more times than I can count) the day the doctor pricked your 3-day old foot to draw blood because you were jaundiced. I blamed myself.

I’ve wept so many tears of pride because of you. You are amazing and I am in awe of everything you do. I am obsessed with you and I’m not ashamed to say it.

I can’t wait to see what you do with this big, beautiful life you have ahead of you.

I’ve cried so many tears that you will never know about for so many reasons throughout your life and every single one of those tears was because I love you so damn deeply. Deeper than I knew was even possible.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

You are the best thing I ever did, watching you grow up has been my biggest privilege and letting you go is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I know you’re not running away tomorrow.However, I know, technically, nothing will change except that you will walk across the stage in your cap and gown and get your diploma. But, I know.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

Despite my outward excitement, I know what happens next.

Tomorrow is the milestone that marks the beginning of the end of who you were and the start of who you will become.

I know tomorrow’s graduation marks the next phase of your life.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

Tomorrow, I will be clapping louder and cheering harder than anyone else for you, just like always. I won’t be able to contain my pride.

But I’ll also probably be laughing and crying at the same time, just like I did the moment they laid you on my chest at 4:51 P.M. on the day that you were born.  The day I became a mom.

Don’t mind me, I’m just loving you harder as I begin to let you go. I’ll be missing you before you ever leave because…

I.KNOW.WHAT.COMES.NEXT.

It will be hard for me. It’ll probably be excruciating. You know that letting go is not my forte.

But you also know that I am so fucking proud of you. So proud of who you have always been. Proud of who you are today, who you will be tomorrow, and who you are becoming. I always will be.

Even though this is the time when I have to let you go a little, I will always be right here where you left me. I’ll always be your mom, your biggest fan and your best friend.

Love you to the moon and back, forever and ever.

Congratulations, baby girl. You’re altogether more amazing than I could’ve ever imagined. Certainly, cooler than I ever was. You’ve got this and I’ve got you.

night before graduation, senior year, Bella, high school graduation

Congratulations, Izabella and all of the class of 2023.

Hugs to all the class of 2023 mamas. I know it fucking hurts especially, since we raised them for this moment. You did great mamas. We’ve got this.

Now, where’s my box of Kleenex and waterproof mascara?

How are you surviving the night before graduation?

2 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

When you have children, your entire world changes drastically. This is completely normal and understandable. If you’re not obsessed with your kids, I need to know how you do it because, tbh, I am dreading the letting go. At the end of the day, you’ve brought a little being into this world who is going to be entirely dependent on you for many years to come, and who will lean on you for the rest of their life. My girls are teens now and they still need me as much as they did when they were toddlers, just in different ways. It’s a whole lot of responsibility but a privilege and honor too.

You’re inevitably going to find yourself changing your day to day tasks and routines in order to accommodate them and provide them with everything they need to grow and thrive. Believe me, I am not the same person I was before I had my daughters and that’s fine; I’ve evolved. You’ll see your social schedule changing, your family schedule changing, your day to day tasks and to-do’s changing… the list goes on. That is evolution. One area that can change drastically when you have a child is your work life and career. Even if you have every intention of going right back into the workforce, sometimes you change your mind, like I did. They’re not overstating when they say that a baby changes everything. It really does, in every single way that you can imagine and even in some ways that you never would have. Here’s some information on what you may expect and how to manage your work around your little one.

Parental Leave

If you are in an employed role, most countries entitle you to some parental leave when you bring your child into this world or when you adopt a child. This gives you time to recover from any physical processes involved, as well as being able to care for a new dependent or familiarise them with their new home and environment. Make sure that you’re fully aware of the rights that you have in regards to this. Different countries have different rules and allow different periods of time off, paired with different levels of pay and support for time taken off. Knowing what you are entitled to can help you a lot, ensuring that you can enforce your rights and experience the benefits you’re entitled to. It can also help you to create a timeline regarding how long you’ll be able to spend at home with your child and how you’re going to want to spend and manage that time. Finally, it allows you to start looking into childcare options in advance of heading back to the workplace if this is what you’re planning on doing.

Working vs. Staying at Home

Of course, not everyone has the option of giving up work when they have a child. But it’s important to consider your options and what appeals most to you. Some people will want to get back to work as soon as possible, as their careers mean a lot to them. Some may want to give up work in order to focus on their child. Neither is a wrong or right answer or path to follow. It’s entirely dependent on a whole host of personal factors. One thing to consider is the cost of heading back to work vs. staying at home as a stay at home parent. When you go back to work, you will be earning an income, but also have to consider the costs of childcare. You may need to earn over a certain amount to make working financially viable, as childcare costs in many areas can be high. Alternatively, you may be able to turn to a family member for support, or your workplace may offer payment of childcare costs or childcare contributions. Staying at home means you may not earn an income, but don’t have to worry about childcare costs. Weigh up all of the different factors to determine what’s best for you and your child.

Do Something You Love

You need to make sure that whatever role you’re working is in a field that you love. Heading to a nine to five that you can’t stand is just going to make extra work and stress for you. Think of your personal interests, strengths and what makes you happy. Many parents find that caring roles suit them well. Nursing is a good option, as it requires less medical training than positions like doctor or surgeon, meaning you can get into the field more quickly and easily. Nursing also gives you a great sense of purpose, helping you to feel more content with the fact of facing time away from your children. Once you’ve chosen a role that you love, make sure that you have what you need in the role and engage in things that help make each day more positive. Choose Uniform Advantage Cherokee Scrubs for bold and empowering colors that will give you confidence and add a ray of sunshine to your patient’s days. Ask for support as and when you need it from your manager or supervisor. In short, make a conscious effort to make every day the best it can be at work.

Remote Work

Remote work is becoming increasingly common and is an option that allows you to work from your own home. This is becoming increasingly favored by many parents, as it allows a host of perks that benefit both them and their child. Of course, when you work from home, you still have to work, so this doesn’t mean that you will be paid to take care of your child, or that you will be able to work without having to consider childcare. You may still need to find childcare for your little one while you’re concentrating on your work. But the benefits are that you don’t have to worry about spending time or money on the commute to and from a workplace elsewhere. This frees up time and cash that could be spent on other things, such as your little one. You also haver access to your personal space during your breaks, which could be used productively, such as quickly putting a wash in, preparing some elements of dinner and more. Consider searching for remote positions if you specialize in a role that can be completed from home. Some companies also offer hybrid roles – where some days are spent working on site and some days are spent working from home – that allow flexibility.

Flexible Work

Some workplaces are stricter than others. Some will require you to be working specific times and available at specific times. Others allow more freedom, simply stating that you need to log your working hours and can do so throughout the course of the day. If you require more flexibility with your working hours – perhaps you need to drop your child to school, clubs, appointments and more – you could look for a company that’s going to be more flexible with you and your needs. Alternatively, you could try to arrange this with the company you already work for. Many will oblige, as long as you state when you are and aren’t available in your calendar. This can make managing your work life alongside your personal life a lot simpler and straightforward. This can also work well with shift work.

After School Clubs

Often, children finish school before the majority of adults finish work. This can cause issues if you’re unable to collect them from school when you’re still meant to be on shift. But this, of course, is an extremely common challenge many parents face. This is why many schools have offered up after school clubs and extracurricular activities. They will keep your child in school and provide them with entertainment, fun and games until you are ready to collect them. Not only is this fun your children, helping them to enjoy themselves around others of their own age and developing new skills, but it means you don’t have to worry about arranging external childcare or collections.

Summer Camps and Sessions

Another challenge that working parents can face is school breaks and holidays. Children get a lot more breaks than adults do – often around special occasions or summer breaks. They will be off school, but you may still be required to go to work. What happens here? Well, many solutions have been offered up as this is a problem that many parents would otherwise struggle to negotiate and manage. Common activities for children during these breaks include daily activities, where your child can be dropped off in the morning before you head to work, or camps, where children can stay for a longer and more extended period of time.

Support Networks

As with any element of being a parent, it really is important that you have a good support network around you to help you through the process of working and parenting at once. This network will differ between one person and another, and there’s no right or wrong way of managing it. There are some people who will rely on their partner to split responsibilities. Some people will rely on family members and friends for support. Remember that you are never alone. If you don’t have these individuals to count on, you’re by far not the only person to feel this way. There are others out there who will be more than happy to help, from other parents to support groups and more.

Relaxation and You-Time

If you are working and parenting, chances are, you’re pretty exhausted. Nobody is superhuman and you’re going to find that you definitely need some time away from both activities to let your hair down and recuperate. This is why scheduling some relaxation time and you-time is important on a regular basis. This can vary from one person to another, as different people unwind in different ways. It could be something as simple as getting up a little earlier than your kids to enjoy a hot drink and the news or a TV program. It could be waiting up a little after they go to bed to have a bath and soak. It could be splitting childcare on weekends so that one weekend you may take care of someone else’s kids, but the next you can look forward to an afternoon or evening spent to yourself doing what you want to do – whether that’s a meal out, cinema or simply a long, well deserved nap. You don’t want to overload yourself and experience burnout, as then you won’t be able to look after yourself or your little ones.

As you can see, working and parenting are two draining activities that can be quite difficult to manage at once. But it is possible. Hopefully, some of the advice above will help to guide you on this journey, taking the paths that best suit you, your children, your lifestyle and your needs. Give them a try and see how things improve!

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Things To Do When Your Home Business Starts Booming

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Congratulations! Your home business is starting to take off. You’re seeing more and more customers coming through your virtual door, and your sales are increasing. This is great news, but it also brings with it a new set of challenges. Be ready to get your hustle on. How do you ensure you can keep up with the increased demand? It can be exciting and overwhelming, all at the same time, How do you maintain the high level of quality that got you this far? In this blog post, we will discuss some tips for keeping your home business thriving when it starts to boom!

3 Things To Do When Your Home Business Starts Booming

Find A Bigger Space

If you’re starting to feel cramped in your current space, it may be time to look for a bigger office or store. This will give you more room to work and could even help you attract more customers. More space allows you to deal with various small business growing pains like hiring more people, stocking more products or supplies, and dealing with more customer traffic. You don’t have to get a huge office space, but you certainly do reach a stage where a home business is too much for a home. If certain aspects of your business are growing, like increased sales, you might want to consider looking for affordable storage units to deal with your excess stock, for example.

Hire More Help

If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by the amount of work needed, it may be time to hire some help. This could mean hiring an employee or two or outsourcing some of your work to a freelancer or contract worker. Having more help will allow you to get more work done and free up your time so that you can focus on the parts of your business that need your attention most.

Hiring help can also be a great way to improve the quality of your work. If you’re starting to feel like you’re stretched too thin, the quality of your work will likely suffer. By hiring someone to take on some of the workloads, you can focus on the most important tasks and ensure that they’ve done to the best of your ability.

Improve Your Systems

As your business grows, you’ll need to start thinking about ways to improve your systems and processes. This could mean anything from streamlining your inventory system to implementing a new customer management system. The goal is to ensure that your business is running as efficiently as possible to keep up with the increased demand.

Improving your systems will take some time and effort, but it will be worth it in the long run. Your business will run more smoothly, and you’ll be able to serve your customers better.

There you have it! These are just a few tips for keeping your home business thriving when it starts to boom. If you’re seeing increased sales and more customers, don’t be afraid to take some steps to accommodate the growth. With a little planning and some hard work, you can ensure that your home business continues to be successful for years to come.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
mom life, how to take care of yourself

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Being a mom means that often you have to give up the things that you want to do in favor of the things that you need to do. It blows, if I’m being honest. It means that your children have to come first, and you have to come second more often than not. However, this does not mean that you should not be looking after yourself also. You are still a person, and you still need to look out for yourself, make sure that you’re healthy mentally and physically.

If you feel as though you’re reaching your breaking point, but you don’t want to do anything about it as you feel “selfish”, you need to understand that it’s not selfish to look after yourself. I can relate to this more today than I ever have in my life. I just took 3 jobs and to say that I’m  ”tired” is an understatement. Remember how tired you were in those first few weeks of being a mom? Back in the days when you were cluster feeding around the clock until your milk came in, you were terrified the baby would stop breathing while you were sleeping so you never did and you were still recovering physically and emotionally from becoming a new mom? Yeah, I feel like that times 3.

In fact, for the first time in my life, I ACTUALLY understand the term “bone-tired” because ladies and gentlemen, even my frigging bones are begging for a nap. Don’t be like me.  I’m overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling utterly guilty from how much I’m working. Did I mention that I am also finishing up my Master’s program and planning my daughters’ quinceañera, all while doing digital marketing for 2 companies and writing daily news and educational articles for parents?

Keep reading for more tips on how to take care of yourself, to be happier. And yes, I’m planning on taking my own advice, just as soon as I get through this week of quinceañera prep.

You Don’t Want to Burn Out

First, you need to make sure that you do not burn out. If you get to a point where you are completely burned out, then you are not going to be able to help anyone, not even your kids. All you’re going to want to do at this point is sleep for days, and then you’re not spending this time with your kids anyway. These are hard facts ladies but ones you need to hear. As such, why is it not okay to take the time that you need to collect yourself and feel better, but it’s okay to sleep when you reach the point that your body physically cannot take it anymore?

Burnout is scary when it happens to everyone involved. Avoiding this as much as you can, should be one of your top priorities. BTW, I think I am hitting the burnout phase as I’ve been doing this 3 job thing for 3 weeks now.

Take A Break to Be You Again

It’s okay to take a break from your children. You do not need to be with them all the time to be a good parent. You do not need to deny yourself things that are perfectly reasonable to want in order to be a good parent. You do not need to stay at home all the time with the endless piles of things to do to be a good parent. You can go out. You can do the things that you love to do. You can go and see your friends, drink a paloma cocktail and dance and still be a good parent. You can take a bath for more than 5 minutes, you can read a book, or watch a movie without your kids just to give yourself some time to be you.

At the end of the day, you are still a person and you need to be treated as such. Find someone to look after the kids for a little while, and just be you, the real you; the woman you were before you became their mom.

I hope that you’ve found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you need to know when you feel guilty for taking a break from your kids. It’s not a bad thing to do, and it’s not as though you are a superhero who can do everything all the time. You are a human and you’re allowed to need some time for yourself, and I promise that this is okay. And now, I’m off to take my own advice and go take a long, hot shower, crawl in bed and binge-watch my favorite K-drama.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Time-Management Tips for Busy Moms

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Being a parent is hard in ways that people never tell you about; in ways that you couldn’t even have imagined. From juggling work (Yes, mama got a full-time job as a Marketing Director and going back after being OOO for 17 years is effing hard), managing your home ( I’m trying my best to manage the tornado disaster that is lived in and loved by two active teenagers and two rambunctious dogs), and taking care of your kids’ physical and emotional needs, being a modern mom or dad involves a lot of hard work and dedication.

About 97% of young Millennial and Gen X mothers and fathers often feel burned out by parenthood. As a mom, it’s very easy to lose track of time when you are busy handling multiple tasks. There aren’t enough hours in a day, and it can feel very frustrating and stressful not being able to get everything done. But that doesn’t mean your life has to be that way. This post will help you find ways to manage your time better while allowing you to also do the things you love. Without wasting any more of your precious time, here are some top time-management tips for busy moms.

Top time-management tips for busy moms

Have a schedule and stick to it

As a mom, you’ve probably questioned how quickly time runs. You wake up early, get breakfast, get your family ready for their days, do chores, work, and prepare them for bed at night. It seems like an endless cycle of doing the same things repeatedly and when you through a full-time job into the mix it sometimes feels impossible. Having such a routine can make you lose out on some productive hours. Instead, why not create a daily or weekly schedule (ToDoList is my favorite app ever) that you and your family can follow? During one of your rare quiet moments, you can draw up a list of everyone’s activities and put them in a planner. Fortunately, there are several online planners that everyone in your household can access and stay on top of their tasks and activities. 

Learn to delegate

Yes, you’re a mom, and while most moms are amazing at multitasking, you’re still human. That means you’ll also burn out and want a break and some much-needed rest. You cannot do it all, so you must learn how to delegate. If you have a partner, you must learn to share your responsibilities. Also, if you have older kids, you can delegate certain tasks to get them involved. Delegating these responsibilities lifts the weight off your shoulders and gives you enough time to attend to other matters.

So, what can you do? Set up a family meeting to discuss how everyone can play important roles at home. You can set up a chart and delegate different responsibilities to each family member. Ensure that the entire family is clear on the rules and agrees to any schedules. Once this has been established, you will begin to find time for things. 


Shop online

One of the best things about online shopping is that it saves you time and makes life much easier. Instead of spending hours traveling from home to your local grocery store and back, you can do it in the comfort of your home. With online shopping, you will still have access to a wide range of products that make it easier to compare prices just as you would in a physical store. And even better, most online shops offer amazing discounts and offers to make it better to buy in bulk. However, be forewarned you can easily spend more than you do at Target because it’s just too easy.

But it’s not just groceries you can get for your family. You can also order your family’s medications online. Most local pharmacies offer online services for your NHS prescriptions and other medications, so it’s definitely worth a try.


Buy your time

There are times when it’s just impossible for both you and your partner to get out of tight and busy schedules. What do you do when you have other responsibilities preventing that? You must pay for additional help. Paying for extra help can set you back a couple of dollars, but it is worth it. You can outsource chores such as cooking and cleaning. I’d highly recommend this just to give yourself a break. You are already doing so much. If you have younger kids, you can enroll them into a good daycare or hire a babysitter for those busy days. You can also ask your parents or trusted friends to help you out when you are in a bind. 

Make time for yourself

Juggling various responsibilities can take its toll on your physical and mental health. You might also lose your sense of identity after spending years placing everyone’s needs above yours. That’s why it’s important to carve out personal time where you can unwind and relax. Ask for support from your partner and use this break to do the things you love to do. It could be catching up on your hobbies, visiting a friend, or pampering yourself at the spa. 

With these simple and effective time-management tips, you can better manage your schedule and still make time for yourself. Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it.  

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
proven ways to help support your child at school

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everyone, especially kids. The world has been an upside-down and, quite frankly, scary place to be since 2020. The new normal is not normal, at all. So, if you feel like your child isn’t doing as well as you think they are capable of in school, then you know how frustrating this can be not only for you but for your child. You may feel helpless, as though nothing you do helps, and maybe you even feel hopeless that you have no choice but to watch them struggle. It doesn’t have to be this way though, in fact, there are many ways that you can give your child the help and support they need.

Teach your Child that Failure is Okay

This is something I, as an adult, still struggle with myself. If you want to get good at something, then you have to start by being bad at it. Encouraging your child to increase their rate of failure is the best way for you to help them learn. Teach them that with failure comes success, and make sure that they are resilient too. If you can do this, then they will take setbacks much easier, and it will also help to prepare them for later life too. Chess has been described time and time again as being the ultimate teaching tool, purely because of all the positive effects that it can have on your child and their logic. It also helps them to develop concentration and discipline too. Many board games involve some degree of chance, but this is not the case with chess.

Do not Over Praise

It’s so important that you explain to your child that everyone in life has a different talent and that it is not always possible for everyone to get a trophy either. Over-praising can lead to some issues, and this is especially the case when your children realize that they are not as amazing or as brilliant as they thought they once were. Sure, there is power in setting positive yet realistic expectations but that doesn’t mean that you have to praise them for everything.

Make Learning Fun

Learning becomes much harder if it is always seen as a chore. A lot of people have mental blocks when it comes to math at school, and that’s why so many people don’t like it. Psychologists have shown time and time again that if you are in a good mood, then this will make you more engaged and it will also make you more open to learning too. You will be able to master any difficult task if you have the right attitude, and the sooner you can teach your child this, the better. Want to support your child even more? Why not see if you can get some high school worksheets?

Let your Child Follow their Passion

It is not possible for your child to be good at everything, but if you can, you need to try and get them good at a few things. If your child is showing a very specific interest or if they take a lot of joy in a particular topic, then they will find it easier to really push themselves with it. If your child loves music, then try and push them in this direction rather than trying to steer them academically all the time. If you can do this, then you will soon find that it is much easier for you to give them the support that they need to do well.

Make Subjects feel Relevant

It is often hard for a child to focus and enjoy a particular subject because they are not able to see how it has any relevance to their life. They may not be able to see how it is going to help them in the future either. Specific subjects tend to be branded into the head of your child and at times they may wonder if it’s just something that they have to do in order to keep adults happy. If you want to help them here, then you need to make subjects feel relevant to them. You also need to make sure that you do what you can to prove to them that the things that they are learning, are worth it in the long run. If you can do this, then you will soon find that you can make your kids happier when learning and that they are also much more engaged.

So, there are many things that you can do to try and make sure that your kids are happy and if you follow this guide, you’ll soon find that it is easier than ever for you to give them the support they need to excel academically. Why not see how many tips you could implement for yourself today? It’s never been easier to get on the same wavelength as your child.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
gifts for new moms that aren't for the baby

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Becoming a mom is a privilege, just ask any mom but it is also exhausting and thankless and, did I mention, exhausting. Half the time you forget your own name because everyone refers to you as mom, mama, mommy or so-and-so’s (insert baby’s name here) mom.

If someone you love has become a mom for the first time, you probably want to give them a special gift to mark the occasion. A lot of gifts for new Moms are actually things for the baby. This can be helpful for Mom, but after a while, she might soon find she’s got more newborn baby stuff than she can use and feels as though her special occasion is more about the baby than herself. It can be lovely to give your new Mom loved one something that is purely for her, and not for her baby. 

Jewelry

If the new Mom you know is someone very special to you, like your spouse, partner, sister, or best friend, you could give her a beautiful piece of keepsake jewelry. Jewelry to commemorate something so special will always be sentimental to her. You could buy something like a beautiful necklace, or even have something custom designed just for her to really make a statement. Choose a stone, with help from the James Allen review from Pricescope, and a setting, and you have something she’ll always treasure. 

Gift Vouchers

Vouchers can be very good gifts as they give the receiver more choice. Think about what might be most appreciated by a busy, tired new Mom. You could give vouchers for their favorite local takeaway or food delivery service. Give vouchers for some pampering, whether it’s a pedicure or a full spa day. You could even make your own vouchers for things like an evening of babysitting, that she can cash in to have a date night with her spouse or an afternoon off to go shopping. 

Subscriptions

A subscription gift could be for something practical and useful, or something more fun for her. If you know she’s struggling to find time to cook, gift a recipe box subscription service that can make cooking quicker and simpler. You could gift a subscription to her favorite magazine so she has something to read when she’s up doing late-night feeds. What about a subscription for a flower delivery so something pretty arrives every month for her?

Coffee

Disrupted nights mean a tired mom. A lot of new Moms drink a lot of coffee, although if she’s breastfeeding, you should double-check with her how much she is able to have. A gift of some posh coffee that’s eco-friendly and gourmet like Steeped Coffee, a pretty mug to drink it out of, or a to-go cup to put her coffee in when she takes the baby out in the stroller will all be well-received. You can find beautiful cups that have clever technology in them to keep your drink warm without needing to use a thermos cup in the house. These are perfect for new Moms who struggle to drink a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold. 

At-home beauty and spa treatments

There is not a lot of free time when you have a newborn but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to feel good and take care of yourself. Facemasks, at-home teeth whitening kits, lotions and serums, a foot spa or a great skincare system like Tarte’s Awake line, vegan and cruelty-free, is a favorite in our house.

Loungewear

As a new mom, clothing can often be decided by what can be put on quickest, is most comfortable, and is the cleanest. Make this easier for her by gifting her some stylish but comfortable loungewear. Comfortable leggings, yoga pants, or cardigans are all good choices.

As a mom, what is the number 1 thing that you’d want as a gift from family and friends?

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Parenting on Cannabis, This is your mom on drugs, marijuana moms

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Motherhood is f*cking hard. Like really freaking, punch you in the lady balls and pull your hair while running away with your big wheel and your sucker hard. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes, it’s even harder than that. But we moms, we soldier on. We push it all down, pull up our big mom panties and do all the sh*t we don’t want to do because if we don’t no one else will. Facts.

I mean does anyone think women specifically like to randomly clean up everyone else’s shit and wake up 47 times a night with cranky babies, finicky toddlers and sick children? The answer is no, Karen. Estrogen does not make us better at or even like any of those things. We love our children but all the inconveniences of motherhood…not so much. We need a release, one that won’t cause society to call us narcissistic, selfish or bad moms.

This is your mom on drugs.

Close your mouth. If you’re a mom, you know what I mean. If you’re not a mom, no one is asking for your opinion over here in “we’re tired as hell, shut the f*ck up” mom land. Forever, moms have had their hidden vices (because society judges us too harshly) some moms survive by the grace of wine o’clock, others something prescribed for anxiety, some of us should buy stock in edibles and others of us, apparently, you granola betches love a good shroom microdose. I’m not judging, edibles are my actual chill pill and I feel more in control than when prescribed Xanax.

I never tried pot in high school. I didn’t do molly, acid or cocaine in college. If we’re being really honest, growing up where I did, drugs were offered in middle school but my dad was (still is) very strict with a no drugs and alcohol policy and breaking his rules was just too big of a risk for me to take for anything. Besides, when I was in high school and college, I didn’t need chill pills because, well, I had no responsibilities, no bills and no children. I slept when I was tired. Ate when I was hungry. I did what made me happy. That’s not the case anymore. I donated my body to this thing called motherhood and I’m pretty sure when I die, my parts will be out of warranty from the sheer exhaustion and years of abuse it has sustained. I mean they call it mommy’s little helper for a reason, people.

Anyways, here I am 17 years into motherhood and my favorite thing to do after the kids go to sleep is to pop a gummy, wait an hour and see what crazy culinary concoction I will create like a mad scientist to satiate my cravings. Thankfully, the Dory brain I get from a gummy or half of one pretty much eliminates any guilt because I can’t retain such useless emotions from one moment to the next. My cannabis gummy takes down my barriers and leaves me to prioritize only what is of the most importance. But don’t try to have a conversation with me. It’s pretty much like what you would imagine having a conversation with your succulent would be like! Yeah, edibles are not good for weight loss or having intelligent conversations but they are fabulous for sleep, stopping panic attacks, and chilling right the f*ck out. That’s why I’m chunky but overall pretty happy.

Still, I’m a mom and none of the baby books say that moms, in particular, should be celebrating 4/20. But then again, what do books know and most likely those books were written by overachievers who are trying to raise babies by some crazy, unattainable parenting standard. I’m here to tell you, those of us real ones, the ones who have served on the frontlines 100% recommend cannabis over child abuse.

The truth is that parenting is hard and no book can prepare you for the reality of keeping little people alive, never mind during a pandemic. Remember, I’m speaking as the mom of teens so they are pretty self-sufficient, once I put them to bed, it’s my time. My husband doesn’t get high because it’s not his thing so he’s always sober. I only mention that my kids are older because I didn’t get high when they were little because 1) it wasn’t legal 2) most of the time I was alone with them 3) it wasn’t as accessible as it is now. But all that has changed. And I’m not judging anyone. We’re all just trying to survive over here. 

Here are some benefits of parenting on cannabis recreationally or medically.


PPD Relief

Nearly 80% of new moms experience some form of mood disturbance after giving birth, including mood swings, sadness, and irritability. One in nine mothers is diagnosed with postpartum depression, a severe mood disorder that causes prolonged withdrawal from family and friends, inability to eat and sleep, excessive mood swings, and difficulty bonding with the baby. Marijuana has been found to successfully treat postpartum depression, offering a reprieve for mothers that are unresponsive or uncomfortable with traditional medical treatment.

Treatment for Anxiety

An estimated nine percent of mothers are affected by severe postpartum anxiety, and an even larger percentage of mothers will experience anxiety over the course of their lifetime. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, women are two times more likely to suffer from anxiety than men. Occasional marijuana use has been shown to decrease symptoms of mild to severe anxiety, as well as other related disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and impulse-control disorder.

Bringing Partners Together

Couples who smoke together, stay together. Some couples report that smoking marijuana together decreases the frequency of arguments, and increases sexual satisfaction and intimacy with a partner. This can be especially useful for parents, as rates of relationship dissatisfaction increase two-fold when a couple has one or more children.

Alternative to Prescription Drugs

Prescription drug abuse among women has increased by 500% in the past decade. Now more than 18 million women over the age of 26 use prescription drugs for uses other than prescribed, and the rate of abuse is suspected to be higher in mothers than non-mothers. Marijuana offers many of the same benefits of prescription drugs, most notably pain relief, with a far lower addiction rate and fewer withdrawal symptoms.

Cannabis is not what it used to be. Getting your weed now feels like hitting up your local Genius Bar. It’s bright, white, sleek and modern and feels very exclusive and dirty but not really. All I know is that the dispensary is one of my happy places. In some ways, it’s even more magical than Disney.

Honestly, I think parents probably need to get high more than anyone else on the planet. We’re adults, with joint bank accounts, 2.5 children, bills, mortgages, tuition sandwiched in between taking care of our parents and our children all while trying our best to survive it all sober. Don’t we all deserve time, now and again, to just be a human being (apart from our parenting role) and gently float away for few hours to a place where all the beautiful things in life are amplified and all the stress and worry are muted? We do.

What’s your favorite cannabis parenting snack?

 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Newer Posts

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More