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mom life, how to take care of yourself

It’s Not Selfish to Look After Yourself, Mom

by Deborah Cruz

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Being a mom means that often you have to give up the things that you want to do in favor of the things that you need to do. It blows, if I’m being honest. It means that your children have to come first, and you have to come second more often than not. However, this does not mean that you should not be looking after yourself also. You are still a person, and you still need to look out for yourself, make sure that you’re healthy mentally and physically.

If you feel as though you’re reaching your breaking point, but you don’t want to do anything about it as you feel “selfish”, you need to understand that it’s not selfish to look after yourself. I can relate to this more today than I ever have in my life. I just took 3 jobs and to say that I’m  ”tired” is an understatement. Remember how tired you were in those first few weeks of being a mom? Back in the days when you were cluster feeding around the clock until your milk came in, you were terrified the baby would stop breathing while you were sleeping so you never did and you were still recovering physically and emotionally from becoming a new mom? Yeah, I feel like that times 3.

In fact, for the first time in my life, I ACTUALLY understand the term “bone-tired” because ladies and gentlemen, even my frigging bones are begging for a nap. Don’t be like me.  I’m overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling utterly guilty from how much I’m working. Did I mention that I am also finishing up my Master’s program and planning my daughters’ quinceañera, all while doing digital marketing for 2 companies and writing daily news and educational articles for parents?

Keep reading for more tips on how to take care of yourself, to be happier. And yes, I’m planning on taking my own advice, just as soon as I get through this week of quinceañera prep.

You Don’t Want to Burn Out

First, you need to make sure that you do not burn out. If you get to a point where you are completely burned out, then you are not going to be able to help anyone, not even your kids. All you’re going to want to do at this point is sleep for days, and then you’re not spending this time with your kids anyway. These are hard facts ladies but ones you need to hear. As such, why is it not okay to take the time that you need to collect yourself and feel better, but it’s okay to sleep when you reach the point that your body physically cannot take it anymore?

Burnout is scary when it happens to everyone involved. Avoiding this as much as you can, should be one of your top priorities. BTW, I think I am hitting the burnout phase as I’ve been doing this 3 job thing for 3 weeks now.

Take A Break to Be You Again

It’s okay to take a break from your children. You do not need to be with them all the time to be a good parent. You do not need to deny yourself things that are perfectly reasonable to want in order to be a good parent. You do not need to stay at home all the time with the endless piles of things to do to be a good parent. You can go out. You can do the things that you love to do. You can go and see your friends, drink a paloma cocktail and dance and still be a good parent. You can take a bath for more than 5 minutes, you can read a book, or watch a movie without your kids just to give yourself some time to be you.

At the end of the day, you are still a person and you need to be treated as such. Find someone to look after the kids for a little while, and just be you, the real you; the woman you were before you became their mom.

I hope that you’ve found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you need to know when you feel guilty for taking a break from your kids. It’s not a bad thing to do, and it’s not as though you are a superhero who can do everything all the time. You are a human and you’re allowed to need some time for yourself, and I promise that this is okay. And now, I’m off to take my own advice and go take a long, hot shower, crawl in bed and binge-watch my favorite K-drama.

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