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love letter to my teen daughter, Bella, teen birthday

What Labor and Delivery Really Feels Like

by Deborah Cruz

They say they call it labor, because it’s a lot of hard work ( which is beyond my comprehension, still how it can take 10-30 hours for a baby to move from your uterus out into the world; after all, it’s not a transatlantic flight). Well, if we’re calling it what it is; let’s call it a near death experience! Giving birth hurts, a lot!

That’s the truth. Thank God we women are so easily distracted by our new shiny object (said newborn), because if it weren’t for that we’d sure be holding a lot of grudges over labor and delivery. Not that I’m bitter about birth, but damn they could have pulled out all of my teeth, all of my hair, and my fingernails and I wouldn’t have noticed because the pain of bringing my dear, sweet glorious angels into this world, was all encompassing.

*Originally posted May 2009, but it just made me giggle this morning and I wanted to share it with you.

I think “Labor” is the most understated term for what actually happens when a woman gives birth.

It is much nearer to the term I used, a near death experience.

It amazes me that myself, or any woman for that matter, would purposely put herself through such physical torture more than once. Before I experienced it myself, I thought maybe it was true;maybe woman did “forget” the pain of giving birth. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I had heard. Maybe those broads were a bunch of wimps. I was not. No, now I know the real story, if it comes down to the choice of going through the pain and being able to hold our child in our arms and not going through it and not having our children, we choose the pain every single time.

My new theory is that labor is in fact just a small preparation for life with a child.  A life peppered with profound moments of bliss and misery. A love so big that it makes us physically ache.

It starts with the physical pain of birthing them, but we feel emotional pain from that moment on.It is literally like our heart is walking around outside of our bodies.The pain of labor for a few hours is minute in contrast to the lifetime of letting go. So cherish the pain, it will be over before you know it and then the real “labor” begins.

And FYI, don’t believe the hype…you will NEVER forget the pain of labor. I can close my eyes, right this second, and be right back in that birthing room, wanting to jump out of the  window to escape the pain.Oh yes, it was THAT bad. And I still did it twice.

What did labor feel like for you?

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Kelly 2010/09/23 - 10:25 am

This time I actually laughted out loud! LOL

But still so very true!

Krysta MacGray 2011/01/21 - 3:11 pm

Ha ha. Would you believe I did it naturally with my son? NO DRUGS? I wised up and took the drugs the third time around. I had this whole, I already know I CAN do it, so why put myself through it again?

Truthful Mommy 2011/01/21 - 5:10 pm

bwahaha! didnt you say third time. So the second time, you went sans drugs again?LOL You are a wild woman. Much tougher than me:)

Jennifurla 2011/01/21 - 3:31 pm

I love that line, heart outwside of my body. So true.

Truthful Mommy 2011/01/21 - 5:11 pm


Serious right?Nobody tells you that part of it!

Jenni Chiu 2011/01/21 - 5:37 pm

It is extraordinary isn’t it? Funny that you posted this today. Even after splitting in two (literally), I’m still thinking about another…

Truthful Mommy 2011/01/21 - 5:42 pm

Don’t get it twisted, I still think about my elusive baby boy…I call it the unicorn syndrome.I could take the pain, if I knew what was coming. I love my girls, but I always wanted to be the mommy of a boy. A boy always loves his mama @ about 13, girls decide their Mama’s are the most brain dead things around.SO, I have that to look forward to..TWICE:)LOL XO

Bruna 2011/01/21 - 9:50 pm

My three all came out by c-section! I did feel the labour cramps with two of them but nuttin like the pain I’d feel having them push through my uterus and out my vagina! Yikes. Let me just say though that recovering from a c-section after having a baby isn’t fun either!

I’m SO glad I’m done!!! Wohoo!

Truthful Mommy 2011/01/21 - 11:21 pm

I know, my sister and friend had c-sections and I know the recovery time is a lot longer and more painful. I think I was so freaked out because it was my first one ( so I had nothing to compare it to),2) it was a pitocen induced labor ( which I have been told after the fact is worse),3) my labor was long and boring and then it was “Oh my God, jump out the window to stop the pain” pain.IT was fast and hard and it was NO BUENO because the epidural man was in a surgery so by the time he came I was jumping out of my skin.I thought I was about to go into shock the pain was so intense and deliberate,I had the shakes and I was freezing and felt like I was about to throw up. I also felt like it was never going to end,it scared me to death. But once she was out, life was good.

Jess@StraightTalk 2011/01/22 - 1:51 pm

Mama, that was beautiful! I love it. And I couldn’t have read it at a better time.

Truthful Mommy 2011/01/22 - 3:29 pm


You’ve done it once , so you know what to expect. I hope my experience didn’t frighten you.That wasn’t the purpose.It was just the truth of my 1st labor but of course I do believe its all worth it in the end. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to bring my babies into the world and there is nothing I wont do to keep them in it. JUst as I know all Mommies would do.I can;t wait to meet your newest addition.

Mommyfriend 2011/01/23 - 10:36 pm

Yes, yes and yes some more! Nail on the head Mama.

Coolwhipmom 2011/01/27 - 2:01 am

I never experienced the pain of labor because I had to have scheduled c-sections. And in some kind of twisted way, I feel like I kinda missed out. Also, I have several friends who enjoyed their labors so much that they thought they were orgasmic. It’s hard to imagine, but they stick to their stories!


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