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How to Be a Better, More Inspired Parent

How to Be a Better, More Inspired Parent

by Deborah Cruz

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

One of the most important facts you’ll ever learn when you become an adult is that parenting is tough and you should really think about it before you embark on that journey. You think adulting is hard? Parenting is adulting X infinity with so much love and stress that you seldom can decipher where you end and your child begins. They say the army is the toughest job that you’ll ever love. I call bullsh*t. Being a parent is the hardest job but also the most rewarding and best thing that you will ever do in your life…if parenting is for you. Just keep in mind, that its not for everyone and that’s okay.

Whether your child is 3 or 13, raising children never seems to get easier, but the problems do change. For example, you know that your three-year-old may be acting up and screaming all day long, but at least they’re in your house and you know where they are. 

Your 13 year old may not act up or scream, sometimes, but they’ll be out with their friends and you can’t always monitor them so it’s a different level of worry. Empowering yourself as a parent is not the easiest thing to do, because the days can feel so repetitive sometimes. You say the same things, and you act the same way, and you manage the same problems. Sometimes it feels like you’re starring in your very own Groundhog Day parenting edition. The good news is that there are ways to empower yourself as a parent and feel more inspired. Blogs like mine and others like Everyday Power can offer parents real relatable advice from other parents who’ve been where you are. It’s not always easy to be a better parent, and parents are constantly striving to do better than they did the day before. There is a massive amount of guilt that most parents carry especially when it comes to disciplining their children or having to say no because they have to work. 

Parenting challenges never seem to end, but there are lots of things that you can do to be a better parent. Here are some of those things.

Listen

One of the most important things that you can do for your children’s to listen to them when they talk. If you listen to the little things, they will want to tell you the big things, and children shouldn’t be seen and not heard, they should be seen and heard. Being their sounding board even for the most mundane things to you, is important because those mundane things could be the most important thing in their day. When you listen to your children you can build their independence, and you are giving your time and a listening ear to hear what it is they have to say. Children are fun, insightful and curious, and even though it can be relentless to hear so much noise all day long it’s not always a good thing to say no to listening.

Don’t compare your children

It’s the hardest thing to do as well as a parent, is not to compare them. When your older child starts talking at 18 months old but your youngest is still mute by the age of five, it can be very difficult to compare them. But children are like apples and oranges, very different but just as sweet. The trick is recognizing the moments when your actions and your reactions can help your child to learn and grow, and while it’s nice to instill good manners and good habits into your children you have to remember that these are children. Their brains are not yet developed cognitively to consider the world the way adults do, and that can be a frustration at times, but it’s also a blessing. Who wants to believe in the world being a dangerous place when you can just believe in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy?

Actions speak louder than words

When it comes to parenting there is no truer phrase.  children learn from what they see, so you are actually children teaching your children something every minute of every day. It’s not always easy as a grown up to model good behavior that you want to see in children, but if you are looking to ensure that you are teaching your children good traits and good manners, then you must do it yourself. Being respectful, saying please and thank you, being open and honest, showing love to your friends and family, your children are going to see all of this and they’re going to mimic that behavior.

Be okay with mistakes

To be a better parent you need to make sure that you are OK with your children making mistakes. That means that when they forget themselves, you need to gently remind them of their manners or the way they speak to other people. When you see that your children are building towers and they knock them down, it’s OK. Don’t avoid the crash. Don’t avoid your child falling over if all they’re going to get is a grazed knee and a bruised ego. Nice to prevent accidents, but it’s not going to help them. children need to learn mistakes and make those mistakes in one piece and be free to do so because then they can learn from them. If you keep rescuing your children they are never going to learn. This kind of mistake can help your children to understand cause and effect, but it’s so much healthier to allow your children to learn from those mistakes and grow as individuals.

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