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diamonds and pearls, weird shit, up my toddler's nose

Weird Shit I Found Up My Toddler’s Nose

by Deborah Cruz

Of all the days to find weird shit up my toddler’s nose, today was not the day. Seriously, is it my Mother’s Day weekend yet? My husband comes home tonight and I am so off duty! If she could have only waited 12 hours.

My 2 year old, very smart most of the time, just came to me and was picking at her nose. No biggie right? That’s what they do.

Gabs:” UGH ( in total disgust) Me have something in my nose!”

Me: “Gabs, do you need a tissue?”

Gabs: “NO!!!”

Me: “Gabs, stop picking. Do you need a Kleenex for your boogies or do you have some thing in your nose?” (OK, I totally said this NOT expecting the answer that I got)

Gabs: “YEAH! Get it out!”

So, I tilt her head back expecting to be confronted with a monstrosity of a booger when what to my surprise do I find?  A.PEARL! She had a effing pearl up her nose. A big friggin 1/2 ” in diameter pearl lodged in her left nostril. I know you are wondering where the hell did she get a pearl? Long story short, hidden broken pearl necklace + nosey 2 year old with long legs = (obviously) pearl up nostril! I seriously almost shat myself.

I kept remembering of all my friends whose kids had done something equally as stupid and ended up in the emergency room with a corkscrew noodle or a popcorn kernel  gaining ground on the fast track to their melon. I am sure I turned 12 shades of white. I gently placed my thumb on the top outside of her nose (to prevent further inhalation of the said pearl) and told her to ” Blow baby!”. She did and out popped a pearl.

Then, being the drama queen that she is, she promptly ran to the bathroom and martyr style weeped because I told her not to do that again because the pearl could travel to her brain and kill her. She wasn’t liking the answer she got. What a princess, I wonder if she poops diamonds? I should check that out!


Totally un-phased, fruit snack ravishing victim!


Totally unsuspecting culprit!
Happy Mothering! May all of your children avoid the nose pearls!

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Nikki 2010/05/06 - 11:20 am

Totally not funny but totally funny!!! I know I should laugh because my day will come…but it's not here yet…so I'm laughing!!
Glad she is ok and she was able to get it out without a trip to the ER!!!
Thanks again for the fun award!!! I definitely have some posting to do tonight!

Nikki 2010/05/06 - 2:10 pm

I left you a couple of thingys over at my blog!

~J 2010/05/06 - 11:30 am

LOL!! Oh my gosh! I so feel you..when my oldest son was about her age he put popcorn kernels in his ear..which required a trip to the doc to have it irrigated out….ughhhh!

Boobies 2010/05/06 - 11:30 am

LOL!! Oh my gosh! I so feel you..when my oldest son was about her age he put popcorn kernels in his ear..which required a trip to the doc to have it irrigated out….ughhhh!

cfoxes33 2010/05/06 - 3:55 pm

LOL. The only story like that i have is my son poked a hole in his throat with a play golf club. That was scary and we did end up in the emergency room.

Stop by my blog and collect your Award!

Jacqui 2010/05/06 - 4:55 pm

theres an award on my page for you.

Anonymous 2010/05/06 - 9:54 pm

LMAO! Pretty sure I shared my popcorn kernel story with you about Faith. In my attempt to make her "blow" it out, she kept "sniffing" which made it worse. While frantically waiting for my dad to arrive and watch my newborn while I rush to the doctor, I got creative. Luckily, no one called CPS while I restrained my screaming 2 1/2 year old and retracted a kernel with a blunt toothpick. It worked thank God, but drama, drama, drama, etc. Four years since and she has never attempted to stick anything up her nose, well other than a dry finger….Hope Gabs doesn't either 🙂

The TRUTH About Motherhood | The Shit My Kids Say! - The TRUTH About Motherhood 2013/08/21 - 10:46 am

[…] “Don’t inhale that pearl!” […]


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