Category:

Mom Life

OK, well maybe I haven’t quite fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon but I am definitely falling. I started this journey about 6 months ago. I had hit the reset button on my  life and was doing really well. I lost 25 lbs in the first 3 months and that is no small feat, especially for a woman in her mid thirties with two small girls. But then a lot of life happened to me and the loss stalled. Problem is its been stalled for about 3 months. I still go get weighed ( even though it is within the same 1 lb every week) and I track my points but this plateau is holding its ground. Now, I don’t know if this is payback for having an eating disorder for 7 years of my younger life and my body is trying to punish me in my old age or if I’ve done something wrong, pissed someone off…or what. All  know is someone needs to push my slightly fat ass back up on that wagon cause I’m quickly losing my footing . Weight loss is an epic adventure no matter what age you are but throw into the mix that your time is monopolized by others who are actually life dependent on you and things get hairy. I am tying to be healthy, to be a good example for my girls…so failure is not an option. I have got to keep at this until it works. Basically, I am in this for the rest of my life. I need to refocus, reset, and restart. Here I go, pulling myself back up on that wagon…hey, that at least has to be good for my arms, right?
 

3 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail


Dr. Phil had a husband and wife on the show tonight. The husband liked to come home and criticize his wife for not having enough done at the house (commence with eye rolling). You know he couldn’t understand why the clean laundry was stacked in piles..why couldn’t she just put it away. She only had two babies.She breaks down into tears. What a meanie! Does he not have enough to do at his job and that’s why he comes home with nothing better on his mind than to attack his wife? The poor woman probably was waiting with baited breath for this man to walk through the door and rescue her from her day. Who died and made this guy Martha Friggin Stewart? I, personally, would have went burning bed all over his ass a long time ago if I was continually criticized and made to cry. But that is just me. I’m wondering if she ever shot back with, “Oh yeah, why can’t you put the seat down? Put a new roll on the toilet paper rod? Read without moving your lips?” Dr. Phil, apparently wiser from being married for 3 decades, told this man to stop with this craziness. I think his words were (to paraphrase) “Trying to criticize a woman on how to do things or tell your wife what to do is like trying to put a cat in a bag. You will get clawed and shredded to pieces! Women do not like to be criticized!”
Was this a big secret? We Mommies do so much but never feel like we can get it all done, so we have enough guilt about that topic. To have our husbands come home and attack us ( after they get to be in the real world and converse with actual adults all day) its just too much.  Daddies , we are your partners, not the enemy. Support us and love us and we will try to give you the moon, maybe even try and put away all that folded laundry.  Life’s to short to be trying to throw cats in bags!

3 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

I’m flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch on television, after all, it is the first time I’ve sat down all day and I need to decompress. One daughter’s in bed and the other one is all ready to hop in my lap and hold me hostage for a couple hours until she drifts off into lala land. I happen upon  Dr. Phil. Imagine my intrigue when I hear the topic is a study done by a Dr. John Robinson of the University of Maryland ( you’ll want to remember this name, take note).His study has found that  Mommies have 30-40 hours of leisure time per week. Holy shit batman, did you all know this? What am I doing wrong? I mean obviously I am doing something wrong, because at 8 pm tonight was the first time I had sat down all day…and I’m sick. Then he went on to explain. Apparently, root canals, being stuck in traffic, probably the time you spend changing your spat up on and peed and pooped on clothes, the time  you spend asking the same question 30 times of your 3 year old, the time you spend trying to talk on the phone, make breakfast, and do laundry all at the same time..that all counts as leisure time. According to him, we are working more at home than men but we don’t get paid so  its considered “leisure” time. Talk about adding insult to injury!
I don’t know about you but my idea of “leisure” is sitting on a beach somewhere, reading a book with nothing but the sounds of the sea gulls flying overhead, the smell of the beach in my nose,and a beverage with an umbrella in my other hand. That’s leisure. What I do every day is definitely not leisure.Working tirelessly from 6 am in the morning until around 2 am every night of the following  day, leaves me with about 4 hours of very interrupted sleep. Is that suppose to be my leisure time? If it is, I am getting ripped off because I am only getting in 28 hours.
By his definition, the two hours I just sat in the chair trying to argue my 2 year old to sleep is considered leisure time. I find that amazing because to me that felt more like jail time!

1 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

It’s the middle of the day, nap time, normally the time of day that I work out or clean up the house. Not today. Today, I woke up sick. I feel absolutely horrible, like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. But I can’t nap because God knows both of my girls won’t nap at the same time.Why is it that Us Mommies can move mountains for our children but when it comes to ourselves, we are human and susceptible to all life has to offer:) When my husband and children are sick, I coddle them and do everything possible to make them comfortable but when I am sick, too bad so sad for me. Exhausted,achey, sneezy , coughing, yucky….those are just a few of the adjectives that I am feeling right now.When do I get to be babied and rest? Now, back to my place in front of that Mack truck!

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

2 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

What ever happened to doctor patient privilege? So, I am talking to the insurance company and they are asking me a few medical questions for the application. The nurse asks me about different conditions that I may have according to my medical history, “So, what about stress incontinence?” “Pardon me?? I am not familiar with that diagnosis or that term?” My God, I thought, was she asking me if I shit myself when I got stressed out? Was that even a ‘thing” a medical condition? If it was, I don’t have it. Never been diagnosed with it; certainly don’t want it! She explained, “It’s when you sneeze and there is a release of a small amount of urine.” “oh, you mean do I tinkle when I sneeze? Yes, occasionally if I sneeze really hard (thanks to my beautiful girls’ enormously  gorgeous melons) sometimes I have to do the peepee dance so I don’t tinkle on myself. But its not always.” Come on, I’m not the only Mommy who has had this happen,right? She was really trying to be serious. Next question, “Do you require any treatment for this condition?”


Me: “Oh, you mean other than the peepee dance? Not really, just practicing my kegels!”
Nurse: “Any plans for treatment or corrective surgery in the future?”
Me: “No, its kinda like being ugly. You just have to learn to live with it!” At this point, she did let lose a pretty hefty giggle. And this concluded our interview. I am a little concerned that I am in a chart somewhere as a grown woman who tinkles on herself (just a little bit and just on occasion) but its better than what I had originally thought….One who poops on themselves in stressful situations! My goodness, my Masters degrees never prepared me for that term. Oh, the joys of Motherhood!

15 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

Just perpetually doing the dishes and (random thought alert*) it occurred to me… Why does that song say ,”When you get caught between the moon and New York City”. Yes, I have been guilty of singing the lyrics to that elevator Muzak once or twice but really, what the hell does it mean? I understand stuck between a rock and a hard place because I seem to dwell there quite often. But where exactly is the space that occupies between the moon and New York city? Outer Space? Just wondering out loud, any ideas? Ok, back to resume regularly scheduled perpetual dish washing. Oh yeah, it bothered me so much that I am actually blogging on my phone from the side of the sink:) Oh how I love the advancements of technology! Happy Tuesday!

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

2 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a super advocate of sisterhood. I think that cat fights between women are ridiculous and that if we all spent a lot more time being real and supporting each other, life would be so much better for all of us. Why does it always have to be a competition? My kid does this, does  yours? My husband makes this much money, what does yours make? My house is bigger than yours. It truly is a pissing contest for women! I can keep the house immaculate, my kids listen to everything I say, sleep in their own beds, go to bed at a reasonable hour with no drama, they are reading at a 5th grade level @ the age of four, I eat but can not gain weight, my husband just keeps getting better looking, and my kids are absolute perfection, did I mention they eat absolutely everything I put in front of them. The laundry seems to do itself, I love to cook gourmet meals for every meal, I am completely organic, I made all the baby food and my babies only wore cloth diapers and drank organic, non tainted by caffeine or alcohol breasts milk. P.S. My shit doesn’t stink! I live in a mansion on the corner of bliss and perfection…or was that delusional and insanity?  And you? OK, Bree friggin Van de Kamp…you are not real, you are some convoluted conjuring of what some crazy tv exec thought real life is…not even in the 1950’s, my brother sister!If we’d stop trying to make the other Mommies think we have it all under control without even breaking a sweat, maybe, just maybe we’d have some back up in the trenches instead of one more enemy trying to kill our spirits and crush our souls!
So, as if that is not bad enough, that we are all running around lying to each other about how perfect and easy our lives are, we are inadvertently (or maybe purposefully) making other women (Mommies ,specifically) feel like they are losers because they don’t think life is easy or perfect and neither are their kids and their husband. I mean ,myself,  I’ve actually winced at the prospect of having to go to the grocery store, been brought to tears trying to figure out what the hell to wear out in public to drop my kids off at some class or other, the dishes make me want to kill someone ( actually just myself..I truly hate dishes!I am not above existing on paper products!), my girls still miraculously end up in our bed in the middle of the night, I have actually been reduced to feeding them cereal for dinner (only once..I promise)….though, I must confess, my kids are pretty perfect….to me! All kids are perfect to their parents! My point is my fellow desperate housewives, we would not all be so damn desperate if we could all just get along! Next time you feel overcome with the need to blow crazy smoke up your own ass, in a coffee induced fog of meanness,  Please remember that Mommy that you are making feel 2 inches tall would probably serve you better as a cheerleader than as a doormat!
PSA: Please be kind to your fellow Mommies! She is not your enemy, she is your sister, your friend, your confidant, your tether to sanity!

8 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

Cutest baby ever.She is so precious, and that is definitely dangerous. This of which I speak is her effect on all unsuspecting Mommies who have decided they are done having children. You know who you are. We see one hair on her head, get one whiff of her baby breath and hold her sweet, little, cute self in our arms and we are goners. She is amazing. The caption should read: Beware this tiny adorable person may cause you to have second thoughts, pangs of yearning, and end up with one more lovely baby of your own.
 
5 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

This morning, I was the first one to wake up. I decided if I wasn’t going to be able to sleep in, then I’d get up and make the most of the morning, alone. I got up and brushed my teeth, and decided to do a mud mask. About 1 minute into my “Me” morning, my youngest baby girl woke up ready for her day,  “Mommy..eat!!”

“Ok, honey one sec. Mommy’s almost done ( putting on said mud mask)”.

She’s not having it. In her most persistent sing-songy voice..”M..o..m…m..y….EAT!” “OK, Ok. I am coming”. This is followed by my oldest waking up ( did I mention it’s 7:00 am, early for them). “Mom. Happy mother’s day!” ,”Awww, thanks, sweetie!” “What’s on your face? (with complete and utter disgust)”. As her baby sister, continuously screams…”M…O…M..M..Y, EAT!” She’s getting pissed! All the while, my husband is still sleeping soundly. Oh, I must have got my days crossed…I thought this was Mother’s day…not “Father’s day”! I hope this day gets better from here:)

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Older Posts

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More