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Be a Better Parent Challenge

by Deborah Cruz

I was visiting one of my favorite blogs Motherhood Uncensored and Kristen is doing a wonderful thing. She is starting a 30 day challenge to becoming a better parent. You know me. I can’t resist a challenge and one that makes me a better Mommy.I am so in. So, I have decided to follow along every day and post Kristen’s challenge of the day. Awesome right? I know you want to give it a go.

Today’s challenge; Be present for my kids
You know,actually listen to what they are saying. Many times, we get so engaged in trying to get the task at hand done that when our kids come up to us and start reciting their very long and somewhat drawn out stories or ask us the same question 2000 times, we have learned to tune them out. Much like our husband’s do to us.  I like to think of it as a survival mechanism but really, how would you feel if you were talking and your listener was shaking their head saying “uh huh” but heard absolutely nothing you had said? I don’t know about you, but I, for one, would feel hurt, unloved,and unappreciated. Three things that I NEVER want to be responsible for making my kids feel. There are enough assholes in the world that they will encounter, I don’t want to be one of them. The challenge for today…be present. Listen to what they say, consider their thoughts, and maybe the motives behind the actions. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to take their age into consideration. I often forget that my kids are only 3 and 5, and really at that age, their behaviors are totally appropriate. It is I who is holding them to an impossible standard. Shame on me. Today, I take a really deep breath, I calm down and I listen to what the little mouths are saying….even if it is a realllly , reallllly long ass story. Good luck ladies. I hope you will join me. I think this will make us all better Mommies.

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Busy Working Mama 2010/08/01 - 6:51 pm

I think this is a great idea! I find myself doing that occasionally in the evenings…usually on my blackberry responding to work email while Lily's trying to tell me about the strawberry sausage and pineapple pie she baked for me in her kitchen…BAD mommy 🙁

Nikki 2010/08/01 - 7:42 pm

What an inspiring idea!!! I'm in!! I often feel like I'm not a very good mom because there is always so much other stuff that needs to get taken care of that I forget to just sit down and enjoy my time with Mia.
Hope you had a good weekend.

Paula 2010/08/01 - 7:52 pm

Hi Debi! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog, I so adored your comment, it made my day! I am a mom to two older children…21 and almost 17, yet all you have said here still holds true today. Everyday, no matter what, the most challenging part of my day is still being their mom, no matter what age they are. I love that there are mom's like you out there sharing their trials and tribulations along the way…I wish I was blogging when my kids were 3 and 5!
Anyways…I'd love to share with you one of my favorite mom's with some of the most wonderful insight. PJ from thebacksofmyeyelids.blogspot.com
scroll down towards the bottom and click on 'letters to my children'
you will find so much motherly inspiration in these letters she has written, I treasure them! (and PJ!)
Thanks again and sorry I've written such a long comment…must be my longest ever!

Michelle 2010/08/01 - 9:37 pm

I'm so in!

Casey 2010/08/01 - 10:48 pm

This is an awesome idea, I love it!

addicted2shius 2010/08/02 - 1:20 am

Awesome post! This is something it took me quite some time to realize. How sad right? I would get upset when they didn't listen to me but often times I found I wasn't always engaged in their conversations either. Not right at all and shame on me! But back in the day when I did make time to really talk to them it really did make our days. It created a strong bond and in the end paid off for me. We really began to understand one another and fought less. But now with life getting in the way, it slips away. But your challenge has inspired me to grab a hold of it again! So thank you!!!


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