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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Tag: daughters

  • MIne, Mine….all mine!

    My daughters have a lot of things. Lots of clothes, toys, gizmos  and gadgets. Between their Father and I trying to provide them with all that they want, myself not being able to pass up cute matching outfits, and Grandparents spoiling them rotten..well, they have acquired a lot of really cute shit in their short time with us.
    I have problems parting with some it for several reasons. These are some of the ways I rationalize hoarding all this stuff; I may have another one (probably not but just in case), they wore that on this day and it was so special,  Great Grandma so and so gave that to them from the old country, I will never find that again and the minute I part with it I’ll need it, it was mine when I was little, the person who gave it to them loves them so much I don’t want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it. All of these reasons and a few more keep my house chalked full of kids crap. It looks like Babys R Us and Toys R Us had a baby and it lives at my house. Now, I did try and part with some( not much)  of it last year in our neighborhood garage sale. Of course, I wanted to beat the people over the head with a hammer who had the audacity to try to haggle the already low prices of my children’s baby years. Didn’t they realize the bargain they were getting ? And how many hours I had labored over the decision to part with any of it? Heartless bastards! But I did it. Now, there are things I refuse to part with because I want to pass down to their children or I will make a part of the quilt that I swear I will make both of them with special baby clothes that I hold the dearest, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to quilt. On these items, my mind is made up.
    The annual garage sale is coming up and my MIL has been all up my ass probing to ask : “Have you got all your stuff around?” Me: (in my mind) “NO!! Who said I was parting with one more stitch of my childrens past??? Heartless bitch!!” Then there is my Mom, who I adore , but if she says one more time ” WOW! I can’t believe all of the stuff your sister is going to get when she has a little girl (implying somehow that I am required to just hand over all of my girls’ stuff). Oh yeah, and my sister says the same thing. Might I add, she is not even pregnant nor is she in any stage of getting pregnant..she’s just calling dibs!
    Seriously, why do they think this? They didn’t buy it for me in the first place, what the hell makes them think I am obliged to give it to them? Secondly, who made this rule that just because I have it, I gotta give it to them? It’s like they think after I have already invested all the time and money, to make sure everything was just so fro my girls, I should just make it easy on them and hand it all over. I know I sound crazy but this is a sore spot for me. It would be like me walking into my Mom’s house and saying, “Wow! When you bite it, I’m gonna be one lucky bitch!” WTF??? Call me crazy, but when the hell did everyone else get the right to tell me when and how to dispose of my babies memories? I may just hold on to all this shit until my girls have their own children. I may have to add a second floor to store it all but that’s my prerogative. And I swear to God, if one more person gives me the “WOW! So and so is going to be so lucky to get all your shit”, I may just punch them square in their throat! See how easy it is to stake your claim on my stuff then!

  • Weird Shit I Found Up My Toddler’s Nose

    Weird Shit I Found Up My Toddler’s Nose

    Of all the days to find weird shit up my toddler’s nose, today was not the day. Seriously, is it my Mother’s Day weekend yet? My husband comes home tonight and I am so off duty! If she could have only waited 12 hours.

    My 2 year old, very smart most of the time, just came to me and was picking at her nose. No biggie right? That’s what they do.

    Gabs:” UGH ( in total disgust) Me have something in my nose!”

    Me: “Gabs, do you need a tissue?”

    Gabs: “NO!!!”

    Me: “Gabs, stop picking. Do you need a Kleenex for your boogies or do you have some thing in your nose?” (OK, I totally said this NOT expecting the answer that I got)

    Gabs: “YEAH! Get it out!”

    So, I tilt her head back expecting to be confronted with a monstrosity of a booger when what to my surprise do I find?  A.PEARL! She had a effing pearl up her nose. A big friggin 1/2 ” in diameter pearl lodged in her left nostril. I know you are wondering where the hell did she get a pearl? Long story short, hidden broken pearl necklace + nosey 2 year old with long legs = (obviously) pearl up nostril! I seriously almost shat myself.

    I kept remembering of all my friends whose kids had done something equally as stupid and ended up in the emergency room with a corkscrew noodle or a popcorn kernel  gaining ground on the fast track to their melon. I am sure I turned 12 shades of white. I gently placed my thumb on the top outside of her nose (to prevent further inhalation of the said pearl) and told her to ” Blow baby!”. She did and out popped a pearl.

    Then, being the drama queen that she is, she promptly ran to the bathroom and martyr style weeped because I told her not to do that again because the pearl could travel to her brain and kill her. She wasn’t liking the answer she got. What a princess, I wonder if she poops diamonds? I should check that out!

     

    Totally un-phased, fruit snack ravishing victim!

     

    Totally unsuspecting culprit!
    Happy Mothering! May all of your children avoid the nose pearls!

  • These are the moments…

    So, as most of you know, my feisty 5 year old, Bella is really trying hard to give up the nap, to my utter dismay. Everyday, I try to put her down for a nap and 3 out of 5 times, mission NAP fails. Today, not unlike yesterday, she laid there for about 1/2 hour then comes out to inform me that “my brain just won’t shut off” and therefore, she can not sleep. She’s wearing me down, I’m about to give in but there is a stipulation. In order to bypass napping, one must promise and abide by the secondary rule by which all non-nappers must be tidy in their beds by 6:30 sharp..hopefully, to be asleep by 7:30 . Dream  big, yes I do. Anyways, knowing Bella, she NEVER abides by this rule. To be honest, short of taking away every single thing that she loves…I have no idea of how to make this whole bedtime ritual go down as planned. As of late, she has decided to put herself to sleep by drawing herself into exhaustion, much the way I like to read or write myself into exhaustion at bedtime (ergo the 2 am postings!)  . I know, now that Ive actually put this in type..you’d think I could find a more exciting , if not creative way to work myself into exhaustion at bedtime. But alas, my husband does work out  of town and off site 5 of the 7 days of the week.But my Bella, she likes to draw herself into sleepiness. I wondered why she wanted the window blinds left half open. This has happened a couple times. Today, however, she really must of had to exhaust herself. Once I no longer hear any stirrings from the bedroom, after her 3rd trip out to ask for water, tv, or a snack, I creep into her my bedroom and find my little Picasso lying exhausted and sound asleep surrounded by a fury of drawings. Be patient, I will share them with you. But before I do, I came in about 2 hours later and she was waking…half asleep and half awake..Bella: “Mommy, did you see the pictures I drew for you, Daddy, and Grandpa Chacha, Grandpa Denny, Grandma Suzy Q and Grandpa Manny?” Me;”Yes, I did . They are amazing! Go back to sleep.” I really did think they were amazing but I also thought they were all for me:) I’ll share..if I have to.

    Must be for Daddy..notice the big “D” on it? Looks like Daddy, look at those long legs!

    “M” for Mommy! Oooh, thanks Bella! I wonder if that’s really how she sees me? Yikes, talk about a bad hair day?LOL

    Look its all of her “parents” Top L-R, Grandpa Manny (curls), Grandma Suzy Q (shorty) Me (crazy hair). Bottom L-R, Grandpa Denny (long legs and losing hair), Grandma ChaCha (long legs and curly hair), Daddy (Long legs and crazy eyes). I love the way she put a “G” on all the Grandparents pictures, and a “M” on mine, & a “D” on Daddy. I think she is absolutely brilliant. These are the moments that make it all worth while.
    Speaking of which, Gabs, in her infinite sweetness, sitting in my lap at bedtime takes her right arm and wraps it around the back of my neck and pulls me down, giggles and says, “ME LOVE YOU MOMMY!” and this is a priceless moment that I will never forget. Love my girls!

  • I want it all

    I want to be the best Mommy with all the right answers, the patience of a saint, only feed my kids organic food, occupy their time with mind expanding activities, make sure they get enough sun and exercise and be a good life role model for them. Isn’t that what we all want?
    I also want to be able to maintain friendships, my sanity, my marriage, and possibly contribute to society in some small way. I realize that there are some of you out there who have this all under control. That is awesome for you. I am glad you have found your healthy balance. I ,on the other hand, have moments when I get really ambitious and decide that this is it. This will be the day that I make a list and pursue my dreams, be the Mommy I want to be, the friend who actually has time to listen to her friends when they talk, to workout and watch what I put in my mouth, to take the time to get dressed and get ready before I go out in to public view. I do. I get really optimistic and I just do it. The longest it lasted was for 7 months. It was awesome. But lately I feel like I am all talk and no action. Too tired for action. I am full of ambition and good intentions but it seems an impossibility to bring them to fruition. The day to day minutia is starting to feel like quicksand and I’m sinking.
    The thing is I notice that there really is no such thing as having it all. You can have a whole lot of little pieces of everything, basically do everything kinda half-assed or you can pick one thing and do it really well. This is as it pertains to me, anyways. The rest of you may have a more astute  grasp of your limitations and be able to balance things a little better than I. To my detriment, I tend to be an all or nothing type of gal.
    When I have all my balls in the air and everything falls into place, it is wonderful. But I have to find a steady rhythm, and place my energy very strategically. It’s hard keeping all those balls in the air at the same time but it is totally worth it. The problem comes that once you get one iota off balance the whole thing comes crashing down.So, that doesn’t work for me either.
    On the other hand, focusing on one task at a time has never been my strong suit. It feels like wasted time. I am a multi-tasker. How then can I find a way to balance it all? I feel that if I focus on only my children, I am doing them a disservice as a role model.Though I would be an awesome example as a Mother.  I feel that if I focus on a career, I am not only missing out on my children growing up but am also teaching them that a career is more important than family. I know it shouldn’t have to be one or the other but that’s the way it feels.
    I want all my balls in the air in perfect symmetry; I want to have all the time in the world to see everything my children do as they grow up, I want to be revered for my mind and want a career that recognizes that, I want to be able to give my husband my undivided attention when he talks to me, I want a clean house, a healthy lifestyle for my family,a working relationship with God,friends, and family, and to breathe the fresh air of a beautiful country.I want happiness and fulfillment; not just contented pacification. I want it all! Any suggestions?

  • Ummm, honey, where did all the toilet paper go?

    It seems these days that every morning I am putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder. I have two potty trained girls now (Yey) so apparently,there’s a whole lot of little butts being wiped on a daily basis in my house. The confusion comes when every night….I have to put yet another roll on the holder. Seriously? I thought we went through a lot of baby wipes , because I was thorough and maybe a little OCD I’ll never tell . But it seems, as it were,  I have passed that crazy OCD excessive gene down to my girls. After all, how much toilet paper can 2 little girls really need? What exactly are they doing with it? Are they eating it? It’s not like they are having bowel issues. It’s just regular, run of the mill daily potty excursions. Of course, while I was convinced aliens must be abducting my toilet paper and sending it back to their home planet to wipe the asses of all the aliens of their planet for the day, I was proven wrong. My theory was blown up in smoke as I walked into the bathroom to see my 2 year old, with what I can only refer to as a toilet paper replica of the Hulk Hand, getting ready to wipe her tush. No wonder the toilet keeps getting clogged. (I know, you are all thinking if her 2 year old is not only potty trained but can wipe her own ass, what the hell is she complaining about? Hey, I do it 97% of the time..she does it the other 3 %. I know, my girls are gifted with their potty training genius. I should just be happy they pee in the potty and not in diapers anymore.) If her older sister is doing the same, well hell, I guess I should be glad we’re only going through a 12 pack a week.
    Of course now that I see how excessive they have become with the mainstays of the bathroom, it has really tweaked my interest as to what is really happening with the children’s toothpaste. Maybe its those damn aliens again?

  • Memories;Priceless

    Just going through old photos, my girls are sleeping, and it just reminds me that taking time to enjoy my girls is what really makes me happy. They will only be this age for a little while, I know that. I need to remember that. This is my reminder. They are so amazing and I am so lucky and blessed to be their Mommy! They are why I am who I am. They have made my life everything, I never knew, I always wanted. Happiness truly is the smile of your child, the sound of their laughter,  their cuddles and snuggles.It is priceless.

  • This is LOVE

  • And then just like that..my heart melts

    Me: “Bella, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
    (her standard answer used to be a teacher and a movie star, but I actually think the whole modeling ordeal has changed that a little:)
    Bella: (non-nonchalantly) “Umm, a mom!”
    Me: “A mom? Anything else? You can be a Mom and anything else you’d like to be when you grow up.”
    Bella: “No, after college, I just want to be a normal Mom.” (WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? At least she got the Motherhood after college drilled into her head:)
    Me: (I’m perplexed) ” Why do you want to be a Mom?”
    Bella: “Because Moms take care of their kids and love them all the time. That’s all I want to do!”
    Me:” Bella am I a normal Mom?”
    Bella: “Yeah, but you work online so sometimes your not normal”
    Me: DUMBFOUNDED..scared to ask what that means. But before I had the chance she told me.
    Bella: “But don’t worry Mom…you always love us!”
    I always do! I guess I’ve set such a shining example of Motherhood that my daughters just want to do the same. Or else, I’m doing such a pissy job of it, she wants to show me how its done. How I love my girls!

    1/2 hour later

    Me: “Gabi, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
    Gabs: “UMMMMM, ME want be a MOMMY!”
    Me: “Why?”
    Gabs: “Ummmm, BECAUSE! ( What she meant to say is because Bella said so)
    Me: “Any other reason why?”
    Gabs: ” You a Mommy!”
    Me: “Yes, I am. You can be anything you want to be baby”
    Gabs: “You Great Mommy!”
    Ah, I always knew she was my sunshine. She brightened my day so much, she will never know what those words meant to me today.

  • That Day I Roared at My Daughter

    That Day I Roared at My Daughter

    Can someone please teach me how to parent with patience? Have you ever roared at someone? I mean yelled so loudly that you would almost certainly scare an adult and definitely frighten a small child. The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes or when I am.

    Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy’s been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I’m not cut out for it , I don’t have the stomach or patience for it.)

    It’s basically been a ‘No’ fest, with lots of ‘I don’t want to’s’, refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2-year-old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts…. for absolutely no reason at all.

    As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2-year-old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away…. Please come take someone away).

    Threatening to send her to her Grandma’s, child services…. You get the picture?

    I’ve become a really shitty mom( at least that’s the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don’t mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don’t spank because I’m afraid that with my temper I couldn’t stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn’t like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked…. but I did behave.

    So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loudly that it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much!

    I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried…I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday’s are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I’m not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting.

    I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today’s a new day, things are better. I’m really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.

    lion, kid, roared, roar, tantrums, mommy moment, bad parenting

    Have you ever Roared at Your Child?

  • The things that come out of her mouth

    As we are playing on the swing set in our back yard, I am telling my girls they have 5 minutes left before we go in for naps. They ignore me, as most often they do. I say once more, “5 minutes til we go in for naps!” (that by the way never did come to fruition.) Suddenly, my 5 year old looks at me and says, ” Mom, just because I am talking to Gabs and not looking at you, I CAN still hear you….I have a super power!” Me: “Oh , yeah. What would that be? (besides the obvious, ignoring the sound of my voice without even flinching)” Bella: “I’m a SUPER LISTENER! I hear everything!” OK, that’s news to me because she may hear me but she certainly does not always listen:)

    The other day, while visiting my in laws (no less), we all go to dinner. On the way home in the car,we are discussing the idea of my husband and I going on a date. My husband and I had been excited about the idea of potentially being able to go out on a date…by ourselves. My girls love having Grandma babysit….junk food, later bedtime, so on and so forth. It was going to be a win win situation. My 5 year old interjects into the conversation,” Mommy, you should go out with Daddy. Have fun! Stay out as late as you want. But NOT TOO much fun or you’ll come back with another baby!” Thanks a lot for the warning. I’m sure your Grandparents loved the information as well. My girls, they know no boundaries! I love it. I had to laugh, it was adorable and just totally hilarious the things her little mind cooks up.