Can someone please teach me how to parent with patience? Have you ever roared at someone? I mean yelled so loudly that you would almost certainly scare an adult and definitely frighten a small child. The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes or when I am.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy’s been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I’m not cut out for it , I don’t have the stomach or patience for it.)
It’s basically been a ‘No’ fest, with lots of ‘I don’t want to’s’, refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2-year-old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts…. for absolutely no reason at all.
As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2-year-old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away…. Please come take someone away).
Threatening to send her to her Grandma’s, child services…. You get the picture?
I’ve become a really shitty mom( at least that’s the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don’t mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don’t spank because I’m afraid that with my temper I couldn’t stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn’t like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked…. but I did behave.
So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loudly that it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much!
I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried…I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday’s are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I’m not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting.
I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today’s a new day, things are better. I’m really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.