Now that my post from yesterday has confirmed all of your suspicions that I am ,in fact, not perfect. I just wanted to thank you for your support on a dark day in my Mommy history. I also wanted to let you all know that the breakdown may have been exactly what we all needed. We woke up in a much better disposition and I think we all had a little more consideration for each others feelings today. Gabs realized that maybe whining and screaming constantly is not the best way to accomplish her goals for the day. Bella realized that maybe it would be much easier to just actually listen to Mommy and help her out when she asks than to argue and end up miserable and without television and Barbies. Myself, I realized that I love these two little monkeys more than life itself and sometimes I gotta say to hell with the stress inducing responsibilities; dance when I should be folding laundry, go outside and push them on the swing set even though I really should be doing the dishes, hug them tight when they are frustrated and screaming rather than joining in and aggravating the situation.I have learned that I got to get my priorities back on track. I think we all learned from yesterdays fiasco. The truth of the matter is this; we are all human and humans make mistakes. What separates us from the animals is that we can learn and grow from the error of our ways. If not, we are nothing more than lions roaring into the abyss. I, for one, have decided that “roaring” is no longer a part of my repertoire that I am willing to embrace.
Can someone please teach me how to parent with patience? Have you ever roared at someone? I mean yelled so loudly that you would almost certainly scare an adult and definitely frighten a small child. The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes or when I am.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy’s been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I’m not cut out for it , I don’t have the stomach or patience for it.)
It’s basically been a ‘No’ fest, with lots of ‘I don’t want to’s’, refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2-year-old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts…. for absolutely no reason at all.
As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2-year-old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away…. Please come take someone away).
Threatening to send her to her Grandma’s, child services…. You get the picture?
I’ve become a really shitty mom( at least that’s the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don’t mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don’t spank because I’m afraid that with my temper I couldn’t stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn’t like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked…. but I did behave.
So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loudly that it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much!
I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried…I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday’s are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I’m not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting.
I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today’s a new day, things are better. I’m really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.