So, Gabs has decided that she is going to take me on a fast train ride to Crazy town! You heard me right folks. My 3 year old is behind the wheel and has the gas pedal pressed through the floorboard.
Lately, every single time I …wait a freaking minute, every single time I try to put a stitch of clothing on my child she goes completely berserk on me ( sorry, temporary relapse of Mommy brain). Son of a bitch, I have a little nudist on my hands. Shit, I was really getting worried. I thought maybe we were having some sensitivity issues. But I digress, every single time I put socks , shoes, jeans or undies on my 3 year old, she adamantly vehemently violently refuses. Today ,for instance, Gabs decides she wanted to put on new panties ( for absolutely no reason at all. I normally argue but it wasn’t worth the battle today). Ok, I’m game. Let’s do it. After sifting through a menagerie of panties, she settled upon a pair of Fancy Nancy panties. Promptly upon putting them on her person, she began to SCREAM, cry, and stomp her foot. I was a little annoyed and asked her what was wrong. Annoyed because we had already wasted 20 minutes ( at dinner time) sifting through unnecessary panties. Me: ” Gabs, what’s wrong?” Gabs:” Me NO Like these panties!!!!!” ( as she stomps her foot and subsequently resumes her screaming, unintelligible tirade on the awfulness of said panties). Me: (trying to remain calm..wanting to shoot myself) ” Why? What’s wrong with those panties?” You love Fancy Nancy!” Gabs: ” Well….me NO LIKE! Them keep moving from side to side.” Me: “O……..K…… ( I am speechless), let’s just take them off and find some other ones.” Gabs:( in absolute complete hysterics) ” NO!!! You NOT MY MOMMY!” ( and she puts her head down and looks up at me like she literally wanted to stomp me..opposed to the floor who is my poor substitute.) I remove the panties out of the equation. She runs off to her bedroom, bare assed, and repeats for about 15 minutes straight ( at the top of her lungs) “YOU not my Mommy! Me no Like YOU!” ( Oh yeah? Well, you’re not winning any prizes over here either) and that is where she stayed, until she realized I wasn’t following her and begging for forgiveness. Then you hear a very sweet and quiet, “Mommy…me Love you!” Choo, CHoo, All Aboard!!! You hear that train bound for Crazy town? It’s building steam. Did I mention, we had the exact same episode earlier today..just swap out panties for socks.Hey, I think this kids been to Crazy town before. In fact, I think she may be the president of Crazy town!
Apparently, socks, too, can be a life threatening affliction if not worn in just the right manner. What a terrible Mom I am. And don’t get me started on tags! Holy shit Batman, if I have to cut the tag out of one more piece of clothing for this kid. Yes, I am convinced seeing it in writing…she is a nudist!
Can someone please teach me how to parent with patience? Have you ever roared at someone? I mean yelled so loudly that you would almost certainly scare an adult and definitely frighten a small child. The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes or when I am.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy’s been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I’m not cut out for it , I don’t have the stomach or patience for it.)
It’s basically been a ‘No’ fest, with lots of ‘I don’t want to’s’, refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2-year-old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts…. for absolutely no reason at all.
As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2-year-old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away…. Please come take someone away).
Threatening to send her to her Grandma’s, child services…. You get the picture?
I’ve become a really shitty mom( at least that’s the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don’t mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don’t spank because I’m afraid that with my temper I couldn’t stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn’t like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked…. but I did behave.
So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loudly that it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much!
I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried…I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday’s are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I’m not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting.
I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today’s a new day, things are better. I’m really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.
