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Twitter and the Preschooler~ The French have once again outdone us in the parenting realm. They are so progressive. Apparently, first they go all Bringing Up Bébé on our asses and try to prove that they can get results as good as that of the Tiger Mom Amy Chua without all the beatings and chaining to the piano. Now, they’ve gone and started the bébé’s out in social media before they are even out of diapers. Bravo! Awesome that their kids can tweet “ Ma mère suce”(My Mom sucks) while simultaneously screaming from the toilet for you to come wipe their ass.
Bébes on Twitter
The French are so evolved and cosmopolitan, it’s no wonder all of their women are thin and perfect. They’ve got it all figured out. While we are here obsessing over our love-handles and trying to diet and get healthy, they just eat and smoke whatever they desire and still look amazing in their designer clothing they bought at the neighborhood trunk show. Us poor Americans with our très stupide purse parties and Tupperware, no wonder our kids throw tantrums and talk back. We can’t even get a handle on our socialization skills. Fucking Americans buying our clothes at Target and attachment parenting.
We have no control over our children. We are so busy helicoptering and loving our children that we just don’t know how to Ferberize and mind meld them at the necessary levels to be allowed to use them as accessories. Wait? Why did we have these kids again? Oh yeah, the tax write off of course.
Twitter for the under 5 set
Sorry, I’m off on a tangent. The point is this; there is a French preschool near Bordeaux, France where the 29 preschool students are posting daily tweets. They only post one tweet a day and it is a group project so that all the kids can help decide what to post. Then two of the children are selected to type the actual group composed tweet. It’s supposed to be an exercise in learning the alphabet. What happened? Is our antiquated alphabet flashcards not doing the trick anymore?
The tweets are fairly innocuous tweets like “We gathered snow to see how it turns into water.” Cute right?
I don’t think so. I live on Twitter and I LOVE twitter. I want to have Twitter’s babies but I’m also a saucy foul-mouthed hooligan. Letting preschoolers on Twitter is like dropping a 7 year old off in a bar and then being surprised when they are cursing, smell like smoke, drunk and screaming ” woohoo, that’s my jam!”
Why not wait until they are old enough to have the reasoning skills to handle Twitter. Can’t we just let our preschoolers be kids for a little while longer? What’s the rush?
Preschoolers can’t read or write. It’s sort of like knowing how to insert a tampon without actually having a vagina. Why?
The class Twitter account has 89 followers, most of them parents, the rest of them pedophiles ( probably). If the preschoolers insist on maintaining this account, at least read this post about how to responsibly use Twitter.
What do you think about preschoolers having a twitter account? Is this the natural progression of social media? Would you want your preschooler on Twitter? Would you allow it? Would you be comfortable with your 4 year old composing tweets and sharing thoughts on Twitter?
Twitter a Pedo’s Paradise