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MIne, Mine….all mine!

by Deborah Cruz

My daughters have a lot of things. Lots of clothes, toys, gizmos  and gadgets. Between their Father and I trying to provide them with all that they want, myself not being able to pass up cute matching outfits, and Grandparents spoiling them rotten..well, they have acquired a lot of really cute shit in their short time with us.
I have problems parting with some it for several reasons. These are some of the ways I rationalize hoarding all this stuff; I may have another one (probably not but just in case), they wore that on this day and it was so special,  Great Grandma so and so gave that to them from the old country, I will never find that again and the minute I part with it I’ll need it, it was mine when I was little, the person who gave it to them loves them so much I don’t want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it. All of these reasons and a few more keep my house chalked full of kids crap. It looks like Babys R Us and Toys R Us had a baby and it lives at my house. Now, I did try and part with some( not much)  of it last year in our neighborhood garage sale. Of course, I wanted to beat the people over the head with a hammer who had the audacity to try to haggle the already low prices of my children’s baby years. Didn’t they realize the bargain they were getting ? And how many hours I had labored over the decision to part with any of it? Heartless bastards! But I did it. Now, there are things I refuse to part with because I want to pass down to their children or I will make a part of the quilt that I swear I will make both of them with special baby clothes that I hold the dearest, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to quilt. On these items, my mind is made up.
The annual garage sale is coming up and my MIL has been all up my ass probing to ask : “Have you got all your stuff around?” Me: (in my mind) “NO!! Who said I was parting with one more stitch of my childrens past??? Heartless bitch!!” Then there is my Mom, who I adore , but if she says one more time ” WOW! I can’t believe all of the stuff your sister is going to get when she has a little girl (implying somehow that I am required to just hand over all of my girls’ stuff). Oh yeah, and my sister says the same thing. Might I add, she is not even pregnant nor is she in any stage of getting pregnant..she’s just calling dibs!
Seriously, why do they think this? They didn’t buy it for me in the first place, what the hell makes them think I am obliged to give it to them? Secondly, who made this rule that just because I have it, I gotta give it to them? It’s like they think after I have already invested all the time and money, to make sure everything was just so fro my girls, I should just make it easy on them and hand it all over. I know I sound crazy but this is a sore spot for me. It would be like me walking into my Mom’s house and saying, “Wow! When you bite it, I’m gonna be one lucky bitch!” WTF??? Call me crazy, but when the hell did everyone else get the right to tell me when and how to dispose of my babies memories? I may just hold on to all this shit until my girls have their own children. I may have to add a second floor to store it all but that’s my prerogative. And I swear to God, if one more person gives me the “WOW! So and so is going to be so lucky to get all your shit”, I may just punch them square in their throat! See how easy it is to stake your claim on my stuff then!

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Peggy 2010/05/12 - 7:47 am

I understand, but the stuff is a tether and prevents you a little bit from enjoying "the now". You will be suprised at the freedom you will feel getting rid of the stuff you keep that is just cute. Keep 3 things that are meaningful from each year of your girls lives and get a really pretty box to put them in. At 18 they will have a beautiful box of history and you will have taught them that memories and feelings are in their heart…not their stuff.

Laina 2010/05/12 - 8:12 am

That is understandable. Those are your child's belongings and there are memories attached to each piece. It makes it hard to let those things go. It's saying goodbye to the early years and realizing that time will never come back. And the idea that it is understood that you would just "give" away what you have as if it was no big deal to watch your niece or nephew where clothes that you have memories of your children in. I say, they are yours and you do what you want with them. It is your right. They need to be more sensitive and not just assume things will be a certain way.

Nikki 2010/05/12 - 12:01 pm

It's so hard for me to get rid of Mia's clothes that she has grown out of.
Some people totally deserve a punch in the throat!!
I will admit I love when I get my sisters hand me downs from my niece….but I don't expect them from her!!

Truthful Mommy 2010/05/12 - 11:16 am

Peggy, That is an awesome idea! Not sure i can restrict to three things but I can definitely move in that direction. You are right it would send a better message. Thanks for the perspective. Maybe I can part with the toys and ween myself off of the clothes. I will be a little more picky. The only problem is with my girls being 2 years apart, I have to hold onto most stuff for an extra couple years fro the next one. Of course the mounds of clothing that don't fit in the closets tell me that maybe there is too much! I still think that people assuming they get my girls stuff..warrants a throat punch!LOL Happy MOthering!

Truthful Mommy 2010/05/12 - 1:30 pm

I totally agree. It's not that I don't want to pass some things over to her, its the whole "WOW! Look what I get since you bought it already!" Its the whole assumption. It takes me back to highschool and working my first job to buy cool clothes, only to have my little sisters snag and ruin every single piece.That;s just part of being the oldest of 6 siblings. I may have to do it, but I don't always like it:) I'm sure she will end up with a lot of my girls stuff (if she has a girl) I can just do without all the "WOWS!!"LOL Its ok, I'm sure my sister with the little boy gets all the "WOWS! LOOK WHAT I GET IF I HAVE LITTLE BOY!"damn mooch!LOL I love my family! I really ,really do. I know I sound like an asshole.

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