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memories

My daughters have a lot of things. Lots of clothes, toys, gizmos  and gadgets. Between their Father and I trying to provide them with all that they want, myself not being able to pass up cute matching outfits, and Grandparents spoiling them rotten..well, they have acquired a lot of really cute shit in their short time with us.
I have problems parting with some it for several reasons. These are some of the ways I rationalize hoarding all this stuff; I may have another one (probably not but just in case), they wore that on this day and it was so special,  Great Grandma so and so gave that to them from the old country, I will never find that again and the minute I part with it I’ll need it, it was mine when I was little, the person who gave it to them loves them so much I don’t want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it. All of these reasons and a few more keep my house chalked full of kids crap. It looks like Babys R Us and Toys R Us had a baby and it lives at my house. Now, I did try and part with some( not much)  of it last year in our neighborhood garage sale. Of course, I wanted to beat the people over the head with a hammer who had the audacity to try to haggle the already low prices of my children’s baby years. Didn’t they realize the bargain they were getting ? And how many hours I had labored over the decision to part with any of it? Heartless bastards! But I did it. Now, there are things I refuse to part with because I want to pass down to their children or I will make a part of the quilt that I swear I will make both of them with special baby clothes that I hold the dearest, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to quilt. On these items, my mind is made up.
The annual garage sale is coming up and my MIL has been all up my ass probing to ask : “Have you got all your stuff around?” Me: (in my mind) “NO!! Who said I was parting with one more stitch of my childrens past??? Heartless bitch!!” Then there is my Mom, who I adore , but if she says one more time ” WOW! I can’t believe all of the stuff your sister is going to get when she has a little girl (implying somehow that I am required to just hand over all of my girls’ stuff). Oh yeah, and my sister says the same thing. Might I add, she is not even pregnant nor is she in any stage of getting pregnant..she’s just calling dibs!
Seriously, why do they think this? They didn’t buy it for me in the first place, what the hell makes them think I am obliged to give it to them? Secondly, who made this rule that just because I have it, I gotta give it to them? It’s like they think after I have already invested all the time and money, to make sure everything was just so fro my girls, I should just make it easy on them and hand it all over. I know I sound crazy but this is a sore spot for me. It would be like me walking into my Mom’s house and saying, “Wow! When you bite it, I’m gonna be one lucky bitch!” WTF??? Call me crazy, but when the hell did everyone else get the right to tell me when and how to dispose of my babies memories? I may just hold on to all this shit until my girls have their own children. I may have to add a second floor to store it all but that’s my prerogative. And I swear to God, if one more person gives me the “WOW! So and so is going to be so lucky to get all your shit”, I may just punch them square in their throat! See how easy it is to stake your claim on my stuff then!

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Just going through old photos, my girls are sleeping, and it just reminds me that taking time to enjoy my girls is what really makes me happy. They will only be this age for a little while, I know that. I need to remember that. This is my reminder. They are so amazing and I am so lucky and blessed to be their Mommy! They are why I am who I am. They have made my life everything, I never knew, I always wanted. Happiness truly is the smile of your child, the sound of their laughter,  their cuddles and snuggles.It is priceless.

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My 2 year old just sat down at my desk in front of computer and promptly started chanting ( to the tune of the Blitzkreig Bop by the Ramones) “Hey Ho, let’s blog!Hey Ho, Let’s blog!!” LOL! Yeah, this is what happens when Daddy and Uncle have been playing rock band non stop for a few hours and obviously….Mommy blogs! It really is the cutest things that come out of my girls’ mouths.
For example; yesterday evening, we were driving back from a road trip and passed a refinery. My 4 year old, in all of her optimism and wonderment of the world, looks at the billowing puffs of smoke eluding the refinery and promptly says,” Look Mom, it’s a cloud factory! It’s where all the clouds in the world are made!” It was so cute and adorable, I said a silent ,”AWWWWWWW!” and then I shed a little tear because one day, in the not so distant future, she won’t look at the world this way.
Of course my 2 year old wasn’t going to be outdone. She yelled, “Look Bella, a big giant elephant!” (daddy likes to employ the pink elephant distraction technique.) To which Bella responds, “Where, Gabs?” Gabs, obnoxiously smart 2 year old, “No pink elephant…me joking!” It is amazing to me that a person who can not completely employ the English language can even understand the context of her joke, but she does.These moments happen daily in our home and are each precious and amazing to me. Sometimes, I wish I could just stop time and keep them this age forever but then I’d miss out on all the other great moments that come with growing up….first dates, driving, first loves, first heartbreaks, college, falling in love with their true loves, getting married, having babies, having a career, having it all and the three of us developing a friendship as they grow into women. So, I say to you tonight, too much rock band…Never! With every choice we make in our daily lives, we create memories and I say ROCK ON!!!


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