I’ve been thinking about the beauty of motherhood a lot lately, in every way. It’s been a life changing couple of years. When I started this blog, I was in the thick of motherhood. I couldn’t see the beauty of it at all.
Sure, I saw the miracle in birth and felt the all consuming love that filled my heart with a smile from my daughters but I was right in the middle of it; too exhausted, too overwhelmed to stop and enjoy the little moments. I was too busy just trying to survive and truly believed that motherhood was misery peppered with moments of profound bliss but now I know better. Motherhood gives me so much more than I can ever give them. We give them life but they give us purpose.
We just welcomed our newborn niece into the world and I’ve had babies on the brain. You know how that works? Ovaries start twitching and your uterus is all whispering, ” if you like it than you should put a baby in it!” Sneaky, baby loving uterus.
Babies are amazing and they smell like apples and pure love and you just want to eat them up and thank God because they leave you so freaking exhausted that you can’t see straight and you just want to cry. If only you had a free moment to do so.
My daughters are now 6 and 8-years-old and I have to say, I really like them; as people. They are kind, funny, smart, full of personality and wit and I am so proud to have even a very small part to do with that. I’ve made it a point over the past year to try and step back, breathe and be in the moment.
I spent so many years going through the motions; doing what I thought was expected of a “good” mom but it was more like a checklist than enjoying and embracing the beauty of motherhood. It was one more thing that I had to get done to get to the next moment. But what was I rushing towards? The letting go? Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
I know it’s easier said than done but every moment we have with our children may not be magical, but each and every one is a miracle. One day, I realized it doesn’t matter how perfect the birthday parties are or whether or not they have all the coolest clothes and toys, luxurious vacations and a big house in a fancy neighborhood. None of it matters because at the end of the day, all kids really care about or remember is that you loved them and the time you spent with them.
I know that my girls are my two favorite people in the world and no matter what sleep I’ve lost, nights out I’ve sacrificed, money or my body that I have lost, it’s all worth it to be loved and have the privilege of loving my little girls. No amount of money, sleep or fun will ever be able to replace the early morning hugs and silly giggles that only a child of your own can bring.
Motherhood changes everything. Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is the realization that you can love deeper and truer than you ever thought possible and then just as quickly realizing that the thing you love most in the world, is walking around free in the world. Your heart is on the loose and you know that any hurt or damage they endure, will be multiplied by infinity in your own heart.
Motherhood is glorious in ways that I never knew possible and painful in ways that I never imagined. Motherhood is messy and wonderful. From the moment you know they exist, they will change your life forever. It’s harder than anything you’ve ever done or will ever do because it’s more important than anything else you will ever do.
But we do it willingly because the reward always outweighs the sacrifice and that’s the real truth about motherhood that no one ever tells you. The beauty of motherhood is that it’s blindingly beautiful at times and at other times it takes the breath right out of you.
Your heart won’t know what hit it. Enjoy it. Every single minute of it because it flies by and before you know it, the precious baby who you were wishing to crawl is out the door, dating and driving and all you can do is hold on for dear life as you are forced to let go.
Beautiful, sweet Delaney, welcome to the world and Kate & Jeff, welcome to this wonderful, crazy club we call parenthood. It’s the best and hardest thing you will ever do and it is worth every single second of sleep lost and tear shed. XOXO