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….And Then I BECAME a MOM!

by Deborah Cruz

Today, I have the pleasure of having one of my favorite people and a fantastically talented writer, my great friend, the lovely Laura Willard of A(n)(Un)Common Family guest post as my final guest in my month long 2nd year blogiversary celebration.

And while being a mom is a huge part of who I am – the part that changed me in ways nothing else could, that made me get in touch with an inner soft side (one that could actually cry!), the part that suddenly realized what true, unconditional love actually feels like – it’s not all that I am. There’s more to me, even if it’s far less adorable than my kids.”

Laura’s blog is about motherhood, marriage and how she has evolved over the years while maintaining the woman she was before the kids. It started with child adoption and she touches on just about every single issue a mother or woman can face. She shares her soul and knowledge all with a twist of a wicked sense of humor. I love her and so will you. You can also find Laura on Twitter. Thank you Laura for sharing your Truth about Motherhood. On a side note, if you are planning to adopt a child, you may also want to include open adoption in your options.

And Then I BECAME a MOM!, Laura Willard

I need to get a few things out of the way before I start:

(1) If I didn’t love Debi, I’d hate her for putting me at the end of a month-long lineup of fabulous bloggers that humble me. I mean, really? I have to follow those ladies?! Have you been reading this month? They are ah-ma-zing.

(2) I have no free time. Washing my hair is a luxury. Okay, fine, I probably wouldn’t wash that shit regularly even if I had time, but you get the point. Free time = premium. Still, when Debi asked me to post here, I was thoroughly honored, even though I can’t keep up on my own blog, because I was asked by an amazing woman and mom that I’m proud to call my friend (and pillow-fight-in-lingerie buddy for BlogHer, but that’s for another post..).

Debi embodies what women and mothers should radiate – support, love and honesty. She doesn’t sugar coat the journey that is motherhood, she doesn’t BS and she doesn’t hurt.

And she’s beautiful – inside and out.

Okay, now I’m ready to share MY truth about motherhood

Fine, I don’t have one.

You caught me with my pants down.

(Gross. I know. I’m scared for you.)

I didn’t have a vision for motherhood.

I married my husband when I was very young. I wasn’t quite drinking-legal yet (we won’t talk about how long I’d actually been drinking at that point). He was eight years older (no, he didn’t have money and no, I didn’t have a crappy home life). I knew he was The One, and I was right. Ten years later, he’s still The One.

(It’s okay. Go puke. I just did.)

I always knew I wanted to adopt my kids and when I told him while we were dating, he said, “Cool. That sounds good.”

So after we were married for six years and after I’d finished law school, we started the process.

I was in control of my life. I was smart. I was calm. I had life by the balls.

And then I became a mom.

It rocked my world. In the best way possible. But it was rocked.

I became a parent to a child that had an entire life’s worth of experiences before he came to us at 10-months-old. A lot of work, over one year of entirely sleepless nights and physical and emotional stretching that I didn’t know was possible, occurred during the first year. But I figured it out.

And then 14 months later, I became a mom for a second time to a child whose immediate medical needs made mine look boring. And whose personality was the opposite of my son’s. So I went back to the drawing board and learned how to mother from scratch.

I’ve only been at this motherhood gig for three-and-a-half years. And yet I’ve learned more than I did during seven years of “higher education.” Would you like to know what I’ve learned?

(Of course you would.)

Not as much as I thought I would have.

Just when I think I know something, I learn something else that shows me that I didn’t quite know everything.

So I suppose I do have a few truths about motherhood. Motherhood teaches you something new every day. It humbles you to no end. Sometimes it stretches you so far you think you might break. But you don’t. And it fills your heart with unconditional love.

*P.S. Laura, you are amazing and I already loved you hardcore but after this post, I must say..you made me weep a bit:) What a wonderful  way to end this series!XOXO

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Alison@Mama Wants This 2011/05/30 - 7:50 am

What a gorgeous post, a great guest, Debi.

Motherhood is humbling. And hard. And so, so worthwhile.

Laura, I don’t know where you’ve been all my blog life, so I’m heading right over to yours and find out what I’ve been missing out on.

Happy 2nd year to you Debi. Loved your month-long series of guests.

January 2011/05/30 - 10:44 am

Ah Laura…you are wonderful. How true is this.

January 2011/05/30 - 10:45 am

Ah Laura…you are wonderful. How true this is.

January 2011/05/30 - 10:48 am

P.S. ooops, I made an error with my first comment but didn’t stop it from posting in time…I don’t know how to delete my comment???

And thank you Debi for sharing all of these lovely ladies with us.

Galit Breen 2011/05/31 - 7:12 am

This? is amazing. Raw, honest, real.

And true.

I love the line about stretching until {almost} breaking. Because that’s *exactly* what it’s like.

You two? Nailed this one.

Cam - Bibs & Baubles 2011/05/31 - 5:36 pm

so true. motherhood is awesome even when you think you’re going to break.


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