Of all the days to find weird shit up my toddler’s nose, today was not the day. Seriously, is it my Mother’s Day weekend yet? My husband comes home tonight and I am so off duty! If she could have only waited 12 hours.
My 2 year old, very smart most of the time, just came to me and was picking at her nose. No biggie right? That’s what they do.
Gabs:” UGH ( in total disgust) Me have something in my nose!”
Me: “Gabs, do you need a tissue?”
Gabs: “NO!!!”
Me: “Gabs, stop picking. Do you need a Kleenex for your boogies or do you have some thing in your nose?” (OK, I totally said this NOT expecting the answer that I got)
Gabs: “YEAH! Get it out!”
So, I tilt her head back expecting to be confronted with a monstrosity of a booger when what to my surprise do I find? A.PEARL! She had a effing pearl up her nose. A big friggin 1/2 ” in diameter pearl lodged in her left nostril. I know you are wondering where the hell did she get a pearl? Long story short, hidden broken pearl necklace + nosey 2 year old with long legs = (obviously) pearl up nostril! I seriously almost shat myself.
I kept remembering of all my friends whose kids had done something equally as stupid and ended up in the emergency room with a corkscrew noodle or a popcorn kernel gaining ground on the fast track to their melon. I am sure I turned 12 shades of white. I gently placed my thumb on the top outside of her nose (to prevent further inhalation of the said pearl) and told her to ” Blow baby!”. She did and out popped a pearl.
Then, being the drama queen that she is, she promptly ran to the bathroom and martyr style weeped because I told her not to do that again because the pearl could travel to her brain and kill her. She wasn’t liking the answer she got. What a princess, I wonder if she poops diamonds? I should check that out!
Totally unsuspecting culprit!
Happy Mothering! May all of your children avoid the nose pearls!
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