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Truthful Tuesday; February 23,2009!

by Deborah Cruz

OK, Truthful Tuesdays….once again, we are gathered here to expunge our psyche’s of all of this unnecessary bullshit that we’ve been carrying with us in tortured silence and not so silent misery.No judgment, no ramifications, just support and love from those of us who are exactly where you are….the brink of insanity, the end of our rope, a not so high ledge. No matter the circumstances, we are with you. Today, I’d like to confess that I wish my 4 year old, who has just learned to whistle, would stop whistling! It is incessant and relentless!I actually have started to hear it, even when she isn’t doing it. I have developed a raging case of phantom whistling.
I, also, wish that my 2 year old would stop asking me, “Why?” about absolutely everything!!!Argh!!!I do mean everything! Example: “Gabs, please put on your shoes” Gabs:”Why?” Me: “Because we need to go somewhere.” Gabs:”Why?” Me: “Because we have an appointment.” Gabs: “Why?” Me: “Because I said so!” (oh yeah, I have become ‘that’ Mother) Gabs: “Why?” Oye vey, this kids gonna break me!
And I am peeved that, though I know we are fortunate, I hate the idea of my husband being “out of town” for 3/4 of the week for his new job. I can’t tell him or anyone else because I would seem like an unselfish wretch…but I can tell you girls anything! Happy Tuesday!

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Peggy 2010/02/23 - 10:17 am

I missed last week so here is my vent. My husband is the sweetest. He does everything for me and our kids. He worries about me constantly…am I overwhelmed, am I satisfied staying at home, am I taking care of myself. For my birthday this month, he gave me an incredibly generous gift…a 4 day trip back to my hometown of KC to see my sisters, go on a woman's retreat with our old church, and decompress. He is taking 3 days of vacation to take care of the kids while I am gone. Here lies the problem…he booked the airline tickets without checking with me, my family, my friends…etc. Without details the whole plan is becoming more of a hassle than a gift. 4 nights away from my kids? Not even with him? If I don't go, we lose at least 150.00 on the ticket. If I go, it will be more stress than staying home with my kids. I talked to him about it and he is leaving it to me to decide. I don't want to add to the cost by changing one part of the ticket and coming home early. I don't want to throw the money down the toilet. Here is what I am trying to avoid saying…WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THE GIFT WITHOUT BUYING THE TICKET FIRST? WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO MY SISTERS FIRST? WHY DO YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO JUST ASKING ME WHAT I REALLY WANT? WHAT I REALLY WANTED WAS MY OWN ITOUCH WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN LESS MONEY AND STRESS THAN THIS WHOLE TRIP WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO RELIEVE STRESS!!! I feel like such a bitch when he is trying to be so nice and caring, but instead of big suprises…sometimes I just want what I want and won't go get myself.

Truthful Mommy 2010/02/23 - 10:34 am

I feel the pain. I completely understand, my husband is amazing but sometimes I look at him and wonder (to myself) are you completely frigging retarded? Men have good intentions but not a lot of good sense.Isn't there a path paved to a not so pleasant place with good intentions? He was trying to be sweet, that is for sure, but hopefully, next time , he will check with you first. I'm sorry your stress free trip is turning into such a stressful ordeal.Maybe you can use the ticket on another trip and change the dates? Or maybe you can take the trip and make other plans for you and your sisters to do something fun. Maybe a few days of doing some of what you want to do without rhyme or reason.A few days of being Peggy and not Mommy! Maybe a spa day? Maybe just hanging out and having a couple bottles of wine with your sisters and talking. Or maybe, since he didn't check with you, change the ticket to fit what you want…lose the $150.Its a pretty inexpensive lesson for him to learn,in the grand scheme of life,if he loses $150 he will surely think twice about not consulting you first.Next time, he will run it by you rather than lose the money.You are not a bitch…you are human. You are a hard working Mommy, who needs the time to decompress. Don't feel bad about that.And come on, a gift that isn't what you truly want is really not a gift to you at all..its a burden. Maybe after all of this is over, somewhere down the line when feelings are at a safe distance…sit him down and explain it to him. Sometimes Mommies just want what they want but won't go get for themselves. My husband has finally started to figure that out after 10 years of marriage..STARTED!Hugs Peggy!!!


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