Today’s Throat Punch goes to one of the biggest asshole mothers that I’ve ever heard of and believe me, thanks to CNN, I’ve heard of some doozies and most of them have been Throat Punched. If you don’t believe me, just go check the Throat Punch Thursday tab. Anyways, apparently, I’m on a theme this week ( though I hadn’t intended it) Facebook strikes again.
Today’s Throat Punch is being bestowed upon this mental midget, 22-year-old Alexandria Tobias, for being the most severely lacking in skills parent ever! She’d also make a banner poster child for why shows that propagate that idiots procreate, like Teen Moms, should be removed from existence. Apparently, this fucking idiot was so engrossed in “Farmville” ( can you say white trash?) that when her 3-month-old baby, Dylan, began crying she was perturbed to the extent with the infant that her only logical reaction was to SHAKE HIM furiously to quiet him. Yeah, because we all know how well shaking a baby quiets and calms them.
Then she put her frightened, freshly shaken ( not stirred..Thank God) baby back into his CRIB. She went and smoked a cigarette to “calm her nerves” ( you will see in a moment how well that worked). My money says, she probably slipped in another round of Farmville ( probably lost) and then she returned to Dylan’s crib and…SHOOK HIM AGAIN! Are you fucking kidding me??? Can I please have this broad alone in a room for 15 minutes? Because, quite frankly, I’d like to shake her severely before I roundhouse kicked her in the face and then commenced with a hearty Throat Punch to her obviously unused brain.
The good news is that she was sentenced this week to 50 years in prison and hopefully, some crazy Mommy in there will shake some sense into her. The bad news is that she’s a fucking idiot and I really think they should have given her the death penalty. That’s just my opinion.
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So who’s your Throat Punch Thursday being bestowed upon? Grab the button and then Link up below and let me know who you think is deserving of your Throat Punch. Come on…you know you want to tell me!
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