web analytics


[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4c_wI6kQyE?fs=1]

When I saw this footage, I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. Surely, it had to be a joke. Some trick of the camera. A little person disguised as a a baby. There’s no way, I thought, that some moronic mental dwarf would actually not only allow but introduce and support the nicotine habit of a baby. You heard me right! The Daddy of this toddler introduced the kid to cigarettes. Hey, dude remember the stupid Mom who took the picture of her kid with the bong? She is nothing compared to the idiocy of this Dad. What did he think? It was cute? Funny? Sure, real cute and funny when your baby ( still on a bottle as you can see from the video..I guess he graduated from breast milk the moment he started smoking) is dying of lung cancer. This kid now has a  40 cigarette a day habit! That is ridiculous!

Today it was reported via CNN, that two-year-old Ardi Rizal of South Sumatra, who reportedly smoked 40 cigarettes a day, has broken his nicotine addiction through a 30-day rehabilitation program, according to the Jakarta Globe  Thursday. Well, Thank God and the Sumatran version of DCFS for that small miracle!

“He has stopped smoking and doesn’t ask for cigarettes anymore,” Arist Merdeka Sirait, chairman of Indonesia’s National Commission on Child Protection, said, according to another publication, Earth Times.According to earlier reports, the child was placed in state custody after the video emerged and the boy’s parents said he would cry and throw tantrums if he went too long without smoking a cigarette. Well, shit, I wouldn’t want them to put themselves out by having to actually look after the well being of their baby. You know how annoying those damn tantrums can get. Just give the kid a cigarette and shut him up, who cares if it kills him at least his crying won’t interrupt their good time. You know the one they are having using their kid as a parlor trick to show to the local villagers.

 It was reported that heavy smoking appeared to have caused the boy’s brain to shrink and could cause other health problems later, Sirait said, according to Earth Times. NO, really? You mean giving cigarettes to a baby is bad for them? I’d say the second hand smoke has caused some brain damage to his parents as well.

“He needs to be in a smoking-free environment so that he doesn’t start smoking again,” Sirait said. Really? You don’t say? So who leaves the hut? Him? Or his asshole Daddy who got him hooked on the cigs in the first place? I say they send Daddy to jail and that solves the problem of no smoking around junior.

Anti-smoking advocates say Indonesia’s tobacco industry markets its products to children, according to the Globe. What can I say, they need to be throat punched along with little chunky Ardi’s parents. Are they actively trying to kill off their children in Indonesia? Any moron that thinks its funny, cool, acceptable to poison a child for money or a laugh, most certainly deserves the coveted Thursday THROAT PUNCH! Come here Indonesian tobacco company and stupid moronic Daddy, I got a couple hot, smokey Throat Punches with your name on it![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

Congrats everyone! You’ve made it an entire month, and damn it, I hope you’re all better parents for it. Or I’ve completely bored you to death with my soap boxing:)

No worries, I will be posting once again about how my girls are driving me out of my mind, I’m missing my husband terribly as he works in yet another state ( damn economy), that I am so stressed that my hair is falling out or I’ve roared at my children or some other nonsense.Those posts will gain me forgiveness for all this forced upon “betterness.” But first, don’t forget tomorrow starts the BE a BETTER ME challenge to help me shift my focus on me..and for you to shift the focus on you. After all, we deserve to be a priority on our own to do list.

Today I share with you some wisdom from Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored!

Be a Better Parent Challenge #31: Parent the kids you have

It is the greatest challenge of all, I believe, but also, the greatest reward – when you can take in all the advice (and assvice) and apply what works FOR YOUR SPECIFIC CHILD. For God’s sake don’t compare your little miracle to any other child. Your child is their own unique person. Keep in mind the square child you are trying to fit in a round hole may be the next Picasso, Einstein, Freud, Austen, Shakespeare,President. Let them be the best them they are and nurture, support and love them no matter what!Do that and you will be without a doubt the best parent to them that they could ever need or want.

I’ve spent the last 5 years trying to make certain parenting philosophies work for me and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no one right way; there are loads of ways that work for different combinations of parents and children.My children are who they are and that is like no one else and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I think they are pretty friggin spectacular albeit high maintenance. I made them that way, I chose to raise them with high expectations and lofty goals and the firm belief all things are possible through hard work and dedication.They are not entitled, they know that life is work and it can be as beautiful and amazing as you want it to be. Whatever they decide to put in is what they will get out.

We bog ourselves down with wanting to be the best parent and we have in our mind what that is – does she make homemade bread, does she read four stories to her kids every night, does she toss out her television?How do her kids behave? Where are her kids at educationally in comparison to where my kids are?Does her homemade baby food and breast milk make her a better Mommy than me? Am I limiting my kids potential by not going organic? Should my kid be taking more classes? OMG, did I mess my kids whole life up by using disposable diapers? Did that drop off the changing table make them unable to play the flute? Why is my kids talking /walking/potty training later? What did I do?

Don’t lie – you’ve played that game in your head.Hell, you’re probably playing it right now!It’s a stupid game. Do your best for the kid you have, help them excel in their strengths. Don’t judge them for their weaknesses. Be the parent you wish you had.

I say, toss all those ridiculous ideas of comparison and regimented milestones out. Listen to what your gut is telling you. Listen to your heart. Mommy intuition is a great thing. AS I always say, there is nothing you can tell me about my child that I don’t already know…at the very least in my heart.

Read blogs, books, and websites.And then figure out what works best for your kid. And your other kids.It’ll probably be different for each one, because our miracles are as unique as their fingerprints.SO be ready to work, but remember what you receive out of this parenting gig is  a plethora of kisses, a lifetime of love, and the priceless journey of raising and knowing these amazing little humans we brought forth into the world! Love them! Love yourself!Happy Mothering!

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
Bella & Gabs @ first day of Kindergarten pick up! Awwww!

It seems for the wee ones, absence does make the heart grow fonder. My girls are 2 years apart and they are best friends and enemies in any given 24 hour period. They seriously will be hugging and kissing on one another in one moment and in the next telling me how they wish they didn’t have the other. That was until Kindergarten. Oh blessed Kindergarten, that which has caused my girls to absolutely adore and fawn over one another. Every morning it is big strong hugs and kisses and when we pick our Bella up at half day, Gabs runs to her, Bella grabs her little sister, and picks her up in the most adorable pint sized embrace I’ve ever witnessed.I live for this moment. It makes me a little teary eyed. It may be one of the best things to happen to their relationship. They may come out as best friends and put this ” I wish I never had a sister” nonsense aside for good. A Mommy can hope.

OMG, Seriously, does it get any more precious than this? To ME, it does not!

If you are a Mommy Blogger and proud to be so please feel free to snag the new Proud Mommy Blogger Badge for your own blog! The HTML for it is on my right hand side bar! Happy Mothering!

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
kids cursing, raising children, toddlers, they hear everything

Are you guilty of cursing around your toddlers?

I, like so may other Mommies, am guilty of the occasional stubbed toe “Damn it!”, or the lost keys “F*bomb!” or even the I just busted my shin on the coffee table,” Sonofabitch!” but I really do try to keep my inner sailor in check….around my girls. ( I know, not very lady like. My Mom is mortified). And other than that week a couple years ago when Gabs decided to run around the house screaming”F*CK!” incessantly like a little mafioso on a tirade, we’ve not really had a problem with too much cursing. They’ll hear it, they’ll try it, we tell them no, they get bored they move on..Bada Bing Bada Boom, Fuggedaboutit(Holy shit,,, I just got possessed by Tony Soprano for a minute!) There’s always this little voice inside me that keeps warning me..” filter woman, filter!” But I keep on keeping on, and get caught in a moment and sometimes not so savory words come falling out of my mouth, despite my best efforts. Anyways, I’ve been getting worried you know with Catholic school just around the corner and all. How am I supposed to explain that my beautiful, innocent little girl can probably sling cursed laced insults with the best of them? I’m assuming and I know for sure that she can use them in the appropriate context because they have already proven that..with the exception of Gabs’ Tourettes-like f-bomb tirade, but I digress.

The point being, the girls have been saying things that, though we giggle now, I am sure come fall.I won’t be amused in the least. Especially when I have to explain where she learned it from. But something else has been happening that has made me completely forget about the curse words that may or may not come out of my 5 and 3-year-olds mouth. Yes, something much, much worse.No? You don’t believe there could be anything worse than your kids telling some nun to eff off? Well, what about these gems…
Gabs:” Girls, Pull your tits!” (in English, Girls, cool your jets!)
Gabs: (While escorting me around the yard as I picked up the dog poop with the pooper scooper..oh the joy! Gabs was running around the yard like a shit-seeking missile, pointing and yelling to id the aforementioned “poop” )This is what she yelled on a warm summer day, as all of our neighbors looked on,” Mommy! DOG SHIT!!!!!”
Yeah, thank God that wasn’t embarrassing.

So, you can see my concern. But something even much worse happened this weekend and put everything into perspective for me. I have a colorful vocabulary, I am a hand talker, and I like to use metaphors and all kinds of language manipulation to illustrate my points but they are very seldom to be taken literally. But, I forgot…3 and 5-year-olds don’t understand the difference. Over the otherwise fantastically family filled Fourth of July weekend, I was having a discussion with my MIL about her son, my husband, doing something ridiculous.I think my exact words were, “He better take a pill or he better not be surprised when I stab him in his sleep!(this was said with a chuckle and a smile)” Obviously, I was saying he needed to calm down or I would hurt him, which really meant..”Dear Husband, stop being a butt face and please calm the eff down. Love your biggest fan!”

But Bella, she just doesn’t get that ( plus, to be honest) I totally didn’t even realize that the little ninja was in the house when I said it. Last I knew, she was outside with the prospective stabbing victim playing volleyball or covering her sister in S’mores in hopes of feeding her to the ants, or something of the like. I found out that she was in the house when my husband approached me and said, “Hey, so ..you’re going to stab me in my sleep now?” I wasn’t quite sure if he was serious or if he was crazy and I said, “WHAT?” Yeah, apparently my 5 year old went outside and called her Dad over to the side to inform him of this, “Hey Daddy, Mommy said she’s going to stab you in your sleep!” WOW!

Needless to say, I had to have a talk with her to assure her that I  indeed was NOT going to stab her Daddy in his sleep, nor would I ever hurt him in any way. I tried to explain  that I was using colorful language to illustrate a point and be funny but in fact, it was inappropriate and I should not have said it in the first place. Her answer, ” I know Mommy. You were just saying that Daddy was being a grouch and he better stop it! It’s not like you said you were going to choke him out!”

Wow! Oh Shit! Can I get some earmuffs over here for this kid? Maybe some perma pink ones that I can leave in at all times and remove only when I need to speak with her. I would really prefer she not start Kindergarten by telling some nun that I said I was going to stab her Daddy while he slept..that’s not very christian and I’m pretty sure the school might put a call into DCFS. The moral of the story being..be on the look out for tiny ninja’s before ever speaking in metaphor , irony, allegory, or simile!

What’s your trick to stop cursing around your children?

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
diamonds and pearls, weird shit, up my toddler's nose

Of all the days to find weird shit up my toddler’s nose, today was not the day. Seriously, is it my Mother’s Day weekend yet? My husband comes home tonight and I am so off duty! If she could have only waited 12 hours.

My 2 year old, very smart most of the time, just came to me and was picking at her nose. No biggie right? That’s what they do.

Gabs:” UGH ( in total disgust) Me have something in my nose!”

Me: “Gabs, do you need a tissue?”

Gabs: “NO!!!”

Me: “Gabs, stop picking. Do you need a Kleenex for your boogies or do you have some thing in your nose?” (OK, I totally said this NOT expecting the answer that I got)

Gabs: “YEAH! Get it out!”

So, I tilt her head back expecting to be confronted with a monstrosity of a booger when what to my surprise do I find?  A.PEARL! She had a effing pearl up her nose. A big friggin 1/2 ” in diameter pearl lodged in her left nostril. I know you are wondering where the hell did she get a pearl? Long story short, hidden broken pearl necklace + nosey 2 year old with long legs = (obviously) pearl up nostril! I seriously almost shat myself.

I kept remembering of all my friends whose kids had done something equally as stupid and ended up in the emergency room with a corkscrew noodle or a popcorn kernel  gaining ground on the fast track to their melon. I am sure I turned 12 shades of white. I gently placed my thumb on the top outside of her nose (to prevent further inhalation of the said pearl) and told her to ” Blow baby!”. She did and out popped a pearl.

Then, being the drama queen that she is, she promptly ran to the bathroom and martyr style weeped because I told her not to do that again because the pearl could travel to her brain and kill her. She wasn’t liking the answer she got. What a princess, I wonder if she poops diamonds? I should check that out!


Totally un-phased, fruit snack ravishing victim!


Totally unsuspecting culprit!
Happy Mothering! May all of your children avoid the nose pearls!

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
anything more than one child is like ten children, Qiagen, tuberculosis, tuberculosis testing

Every mother who has ever lived has looked at another mother and thought to herself, she’s got it all. Look how well she does mothering. She’s got her ish together. I remember looking longingly at my friend Sarah as she would get down on her knees and speak softly to her daughter when she’d done something wrong. For me, anything more than one child is like ten children but for Sarah 2 children were like 2 children and I never understood what I was doing wrong.

Now, before you get your panties in a wad, I KNOW that only children are no piece of cake. I know that you still face all the challenges as mothers with multiple children face. I understand that you are still overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated, like the rest of us. I’ve never once seen any of my friends with only children have time to sit around and eat bonbons. That’s not what I’m implying. I get all of that. I know its true.

When I only had one child, I was fatigued, stressed and had an extreme case of Mommy brain. I had all the same issues that I have now, but I could at least try to focus all of my attention on my one child and sometimes she even took naps so I got stolen moments to myself. I knew that my child was getting my undivided attention. As much as I thought my heart could not grow to accommodate another child, to my amazement it did.

I was so blinded my that new baby smell that I never let myself entertain the thought that anything more than one child is like ten children. I did, however, know that I could not simultaneously maintain my sanity and raise ten children. I come from big families, I’ve seen the collateral damage to the mothers in our family.

But I got cocky and thought to myself, “Hey, if I can handle one child, how hard can two be?” A common rookie mistake of tempting the fates. That is what I thought..until I was slapped in the face with the reality that I had to juggle a newborn and a toddler, multiply my diaper duty drastically, potty train while simultaneously trying to breastfeed,  one’s learning to assert her independence and the other one is completely dependent on me, which means chasing one while dragging the other along. I had to try and coordinate nap times, feeding schedules, Little Gym, ballet, Kindermusik, and schedule bath and bedtimes around the same time.

Not going to lie, I spent a lot of my time running on Dunkin…coffee that is and pure, unconditional love. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m really not sure how we made it through those early years but by the grace of God and a whole lot of letting things slide. There is no room for perfection in motherhood. You prioritize healthy babies and marital happiness over cleanliness. Let that sh*t go. Let it go.

To exacerbate the situation, absolutely everything I had to do for the newborn, I had to match or top for the toddler. She was having some regression issues. I had to push a double stroller, carry a car seat while holding, what can only be called, a child leash on my toddler. I had all my balls up in the air and was just waiting for them to come crashing down on top of my head. The fun is still happening. The difference, you see, between 1 and 2+ children is this; with 1 child you have all these duties and standards and you can focus all of your time and energy on that. You will not have a life of your own but your child’s needs will, for the most part, be met.

When you add another child to the mix, you have to divide your time and your attention. Your love will double but the rest will have to be divided. This is compounded by an extreme case of Mommy guilt because you always feel like one of your balls is dropping and you don’t want your child to pay the price. I mean seriously, who wants to be fodder for future therapy sessions?

When I say anything more than one child is like ten children, what I mean is it’s the hardest job that you’ll ever love.

With each child, we loosen our grip on some of our balls and some of our sanity. Unfortunately, the more balls that are in the air, the easier they are to drop.

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
I thought this Motherhood gig was all about me shaping, molding, teaching these little, adorable human beings of mine. I knew it would be loads of work, and it is. It is a grueling 24 hour a day job that never stops. I knew (in theory) that was what I was in for but I never expected what I actually got.
As tired as I am most days and holding on for dear life to my last string of sanity, I am always amazed. I never expected to learn anything from my children. Come on, everything they know..I taught them, right? Apparently not. I guess I have to relinquish some of the pride in my nurturing because I have to admit, I’m pretty sure there is a lot of nature in it.
For instance, my 2 year old who is so honest at times that she actually scares me.Many times I have asked her to do something and she will simply say no. Ask her why, she will say because she doesn’t want to.In a world full of excuses, this little girl makes none. She is who she is, and that’s who she is..Deal with it! It used to annoy me that she would just say no she didn’t want to.Let’s be honest, us Mommies, we do a lot of things that we don’t want to. I know for a fact I don’t want to do dishes, fold laundry, cook, run errands, pay bills, keep appointments or obligations but that’s my life. That’s being an adult, right? The more I think of it, why can’t I take a cue from my 2 year old in her infinite wisdom. I mean wouldn’t it be the nicer thing to do then to be insulting and come up with ridiculous excuses why you can’t do things. I appreciate her honesty and her braveness with her integrity is admirable. When my 2 year old does decide to help you, it is whole hearted and it is selfless and it is beautiful. From my 5 year old, I have learned to be fearless. I know where she gets this, I do remember a time when that was me.Since having my girls, I have become much less reckless and more cautious because every day with them is the most important of my life. My Bella will do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. It doesn’t matter if it scares the hell outta her, she will pursue it with a fierceness. There is not much she can’t do. In fact, I don’t think there is anything that she can’t do..if she puts her mind to it. Her spirit is free and her heart is open. She loves with abandon and if you are lucky enough to be one of those who she does love; she will walk through hell to make you happy.
My daughters have reminded me that I can do anything that I set my mind to.They have also reminded me to have integrity and pride. I am embracing love with full abandon. I am learning to be honest with myself, to be fearless and to relish all that life has to offer. They have also taught me that a child’s giggle, their little hand in yours, a snuggle, a kiss goodnight, their true smile..can melt your heart and make you feel more vulnerable then you ever thought possible. They have taught me that the world is a beautiful, miraculous place where everything is possible.
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

My oldest is about to be 5 (sniff sniff) and she is at the age where she is starting to really refuse her naps. I know, some of you are saying to yourself, “What? Her kid still takes naps? Lucky bitch, she should be happy its lasted this long.” Well, its lasted this long because she is still tired in the afternoon, ergo I make her take a nap. Now, I know there are those of us who have taken away the nap in order to have some quiet time in the evening. I am all for that, if your child is not needing a nap anymore but that is not the case in my house. No, my children need naps like most people need air…for survival. But there are those days when they fight me on the nap, those days when they want to stay up and not miss a thing! On those days, I sometimes give in…to my four year old. Of course, absolutely everything my four year old does..my two year old feels she is also entitled to. I am absolutely, without a doubt, against this behavior none the less it has happened on occasion.That being said, yesterday was one of “those” occasions. I knew when it happened it was a bad idea but they were begging, we were out and running late getting home,things needed to be done and I gave in. Soon, it was 6:30 and ,in no uncertain terms, time for bed…so we thought.The four year old went on and on about how I don’t love her, and I don’t care about her. This is all compounded by complete hysterics. I can’t even get a word in edge wise. I try to console her, I know its the over tiredness talking. I’ve seen this before. But she keeps on going,” You don’t love me. You only love her. I hate her.(her being her little sister). ” The little one, sensing the meaning of her sister’s unkind words, decides she will physically attack. I believe there was some face grabbing, and perhaps a bite was exchanged. I’m trying to hold it together. I stay calm, try to placate both girls. I just know if I can get them still for 5 minutes…they will fall fast asleep. This continues for 45 minutes. I am at my wits end. It ended up, my husband, myself and both daughters in our king size bed; apparently it was the only way to prove that I loved them equally. After all the tears and drama, there are two things I am certain of 1, my four year old certainly still needs naps. I don’t care what anybody says. If they want to argue, I’ll let her miss her nap and then send her to their house around 7 pm.Take that, judgy Mommies:)2)No matter how sweet and lovable my kids are during the day, no matter the promises they make about going to bed without a fight if allowed to miss their nap…NEVER, EVER BELIEVE THEM! They are crazy little liars who can’t be trusted and it is my job to know better! No Nap , late night meltdowns are our own faults…nap responsibly!

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

It seems everything we need to know in life we learn in preschool. My 4 year old has been repeating, “Mommy, to have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend!” No doubt a piece of sage advice bestowed upon her by her wonderful preschool teacher.Anyways, Bella tends to like to share these words of wisdom with Mommy. Normally, I say ,”Yes, sweetie. That is right!” But, this time I actually took the advice to heart and examined some of my own relationships.I’ve come to the realization that you get out what you put in and if you don’t then cut them lose. So many of us go through life making acquaintances that we let pass for friends, but there is definitely a difference, as one of my closest friends told me, ” It’s like coming home.” It’s the feeling of being safe and secure to be yourself and be accepted and loved unconditionally. I don’t know about you but that’s what I want out of a friend. I’m not one for superficial friendships, I don’t have the time or energy to play that game at this point in my life.If I call you my friend, I genuinely think of you as my friend, as family. I know that acquaintances have a place and I do have those relationships but I don’t call them my friends. I don’t want to spend inordinate amounts of time with them or subject my family to them. I don’t call them, text them, email them. I’m a Mommy, my time is precious and few, so I decided that I need to put in what I want to get out and if its not there I gotta cut it lose. It’s always disappointing though when you put it all in, only to find out the other person is only half way in. It’s actually very sad and you feel let down. I don’t want to be responsible for doing that to someone, and I don’t want to be that kind of an example for my daughters.
I learned a lot of life lessons from my daughter and her wise preschool teacher, and those wonderful women in my life who are my friends. We have just recently moved home from spending time in a delightfully beautiful part of the country called Chesterfield, Virginia. I am convinced that it must be the closest thing to heaven on earth; it is gorgeous and the people there are amazing human beings. I don’t know how they go there or why, but it works.Its like a vortex for goodness:) I hope I don’t embarrass anyone but this has to be said. I don’t want to spend my life wasting time and not telling people how important they are to me. When we first arrived, I was new and knew absolutely no one. The people I met there, were by far the most wonderful and genuine women I have ever met. They invited me into their lives, their hearts, their families.They were supportive and amazing. They made me feel like I was at home, even though I was hundreds of miles from where my “family” lived. I have never experienced anything like this before in my life. Who knew you could form true friendships and bonds with other women in such a short amount of time, especially as an adult. We left Virginia without a job but much richer people. I left with a heavy heart, and will miss these women and their amazing spirits . We may be geographically apart but they will always be in my heart.They took me in , extended friendship and sisterhood, when they didn’t even know me. It wasn’t for any reason other than to be kind to another human, but they will never know how much that kindness meant to me at that time and will always mean to me. I will miss our talks, long walks, saying hi in the hallways, sharing our childrens firsts in life, our laughter,prayers, the cocktails when we needed to decompress, but most of all I will miss their sisterhood.
I don’t need to mention names, but you all know who you are and you know how you touched my heart. You have taught me that to have a good friend, I need to be a good friend. I just hope I can live my life living up to the standard that you ladies have set. If all Mommies, women , could have that kind of bond that nurtured and supported one another like you did me…the world would be a better place. Thank you, my friends, all of you. I must be doing something right, to have all of you wonderful women as my friends! Just remember, as my 4 year old once told me, “To have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend!”

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail
back pain

back pain

Back Pain ~This morning was a morning to end all mornings. I woke up, in our apartment in Virginia, where we are residing temporarily until we relocate from our home in the Midwest. The morning was progressing normally until the coffee machine, percolating my much needed fuel for the day, decided to explode. As I was texting my friend, back at home, having a great chit chat I heard a gurgle, followed by a distinct sputter, followed by a pop and a long hiss. I turned around, just in time to see my, much needed, life line turn into an eruption of Mt Saint Dunkin Donuts coffee…all over the pristine white cabinets in the corporate housing that my husband’s new company is paying for.

Back Pain is incapacitating

In true “Mommy can do everything” mode without breaking a sweat, I turned quickly, discarded my phone ,mid text,ran for the laundry room and grabbed a towel to soak up the mess and avert any real damage. I was on it, little did I know that in my haste, I had pulled my back. All that animated mad dashing was not tolerated so well by my not yet fully awake body. To add insult to the back injury, the aforementioned towel that I used to throw on the floor to soak up the eruption, it was fully loaded with sand from our weekend beach trip.

Amidst all the chaos that is unfolding, my 4 and 2 year old are eating breakfast and watching cartoons, looking over at me only briefly, as if to say ” That nutty Mommy, there she goes again.That crazy kid is always into something!” Not until midway through cleaning up the mess did I realize that I had pulled my back. While I was soaking up the mess, I was putting the shrapnel of the morning away. As I half heartily set my large, toffee flavored coffee creamer into the fridge ,atop something or other, it came tumbling back at me and crashing onto the floor, where it oozed its contents all over my newly cleaned floor. To be honest, it was more like it was hurled at me by some unforeseen, Mommy hating entity living within the confines of my refrigerator.

Back Pain is violating

When I tried to clean that mess up, that is when my back began to spasm uncontrollably and I could not regain the upright position. As I inched across the kitchen floor, walking in a position that very closely resembled the evolution of man, whimpering and wincing in pain, I called to my eldest to come to my aid. “Bella, help Mommy! Please get another towel and soak up the creamer.” Her response,”Shua Momma,” I don’t know where or how she does it but sometimes she speaks with a distinct Brooklyn accent.What a little angel, I thought to myself.

I make for the bed and lie down, and try to gently stretch the charlie horse that is in my lower back out, but it is refusing to cooperate. In tears, I roll myself out of bed, after all I am home alone with my 4 and 2 year old. I slowly make my way back to the scene of the crime, the girls are back to eating breakfast. I choke down 3 ibuprofen and realize , I am in a strange place and do not have access to my heating pad and my husband won’t be home for about 8 hours so I’m definitely going to need to get some physiotherapy done.

Oh, the humanity! At this point, I realize I am so far beyond being up a creek without a paddle that I am more closely to being in the ocean without a life preserver. I know for sure that I needed to opt for osteopata savona to end this agony.

Back Pain is Humiliating

Up until this point, my girls were behaving pretty well. Then they finished breakfast and realized that I was incapacitated and could not effectively enforce any of my rules;like no running in the house, no writing on each other with marker, no eating snacks like Cheetos and cookies before lunch, no wearing your bathing suits around the house as clothing, no laying every DVD in the house out on the floor as you play hopscotch on them, no yelling every single sentence at the top of your lungs, or no washing your entire body down with the foaming hand soap if you can’t reach the faucet to rinse off. Yes, they realized I could do nothing and they did everything they wanted, and all I could do was watch and cry a little.

I never thought coffee could leave me completely incapacitated and totally dominated and at the mercy of my children. Now that I do, I may have to give it up.That’s a pretty heafty price to pay for a little get up and go! I got no coffee but my morning sure got up and went… straight to hell real fast, taken there by my two ,otherwise, little angels. Lesson learned; apparently when Mommy’s incapacitated (back pain running rampant), there is hell to pay.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinStumbleuponEmail

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More