Mommy Truisms:The Dangerous games Mommies play edition

It’s time for a few more of my Mommy truisms.Growing sisterhood through motherhood, one truism at a time! Enjoy.

  • Being a new parent is like high school,everything is life or death and you are certain that each wrong decision will ruin the rest of your life.But in the end, you grow through it, survive it, and become a better version of yourself.
  • Conjugalorium:another word for a co-sleepers unused bedroom.Go ahead, you paid for it.Someone should be using that extra bed.
  • Sometimes kids will get completely naked to use the bathroom.Don’t ask why.You will not receive a coherent explanation.Save yourself the brain hurt.
  • Having children is like walking around the world with an open wound.
  • 8 out of 10 parents co sleep with their children at some point in their childhood; 2 out of 10 admit it!
  • Bending down, using your stern voice and scolding an adult who has wronged you is perfectly acceptable behavior from a mother.

  • When your 3 year old screams incessantly “Me hate you!”, as much as you’d like to say,”Oh yeah, you are NOT my favorite person right now either” hold your tongue.They will hear you.They will remember it and you will pay for your slip for the rest of your life!

  • Cherish your spouse; they are your forever, children are just a temporary horror show.

  • Hiding in the bushes in the dark, in a dark hallway or under the basement stairs and jumping out to scare your kids is perfectly acceptable at Halloween, but only if you have first made sure they are not inflicted with long QT syndrome.
  • Not allowing your child to go on a field trip with 47 children, 2 teachers and NO chaperones is not only a good idea, its pretty much required for safety.

  • Handing children sippy cups, goldfish or cheerios, stopping skirmishes, searching for dropped crayons, holding ice cream cones, changing Barbies & babies, and changing a DVD, lowering or raising the volume, hitting play or wiping clean are all activities that you do in the car that are MORE dangerous to the safety of your children than using your cell phone.

  • Sometimes a spontaneous dance party is exactly what is needed to save the day!

  • There is no such thing as loving on your child too much.Go ahead.Try.I dare you.It can’t be done. Children deserve all the love that you can possibly give to them.

  • Knowing the previous information, NEVER withhold your love from your child as a punishment.If you do, you are the mental defect and should be judged accordingly.

  • Parenthood is an endless succession of minutia, but pay attention, within the minutia is hidden the most spectacular miracles.
Happy Mothering and come back for tonight’s Throat Punch Thursday post.

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Comments (20)

OH how I love you!!! Every part of this is genius, but my favorite:

There is no such thing as loving on your child too much.Go ahead.Try.I dare you.It can't be done. Children deserve all the love that you can possibly give to them.

But I can't leave without requoting you on this one either:

Cherish your spouse; they are your forever, children are just a temporary horror show.

I love the "Having children is like walking around the world with an open wound". So true! And I'm proud to admit that we're still co-sleeping with our toddler 🙂

Happy Thursday to you! 🙂

Love these. You are soo cute!

My co-workers now think I'm crazy for nodding at my computer and muttering exactly.

I love these! I was a co-sleeping parent, my favorite time of the day is when Cam comes into my room to cuddle. It makes it hard to get up, because I know that it's almost over (he is 12 you know), I know he will not continue to want me to cuddle him, and I fully intend to enjoy every last moment of it!

Why do children strip naked to go to the bathroom? My daughter does that all the time (and I'm sure even at preschool which I don't want to think about). Your right that our children can never get enough love. I know my four favorite words are "I love you mommy"!

@Organic MOtherhood,
Thank you for recognizing my genius:)LOL Actually, thanks for sharing your favorites.I think "Cherish your spouse; they are your forever, children are just a temporary horror show." is my ultimate favorite and I borrowed it somewhat from a sitcom.There is always truth in jest:)

@I'm a full-time mummy,
CO sleeping is awesome except for the occasional baby noggin to the face:) But I do adore seeing my little girls' faces each and every morning. This part of their life passes so fast, why not try and squeeze every last good drop out of it:) Yey, for you!Happy Mothering!

@ That one girl,
Thank you sweetie,I just jot 'em down as I live them:)

@ Sara,
It's OK, I burst out laughing all the time when I am thinking of them and sometimes that happens in public. What do I do? I just go right ahead and let them think I am crazy.The truth's going to come out eventually:) Happy Mothering! Glad you enjoyed!

@Kelly,
Co sleeping RULES! Nothing beats waking up to little cherubesque cheeks in the morning and spontaneous cuddles, It only gets dicey when your husband wants "Cuddles" then we have to move to the conjugalorium or is it the conjugalatorium? either way,it is a miracle that cosleeping parents ever have another child:)Happy Mothering!

I love them all, but I think I need to print and make a sign at work of this one:
Bending down, using your stern voice and scolding an adult who has wronged you is perfectly acceptable behavior from a mother.

@joy,
No idea why my lil girl feels the need to get buck naked every single time she potties.It is insane.But it is funny.Enjoy it, these times fly by:(Happy MOthering!

All I can say is I love this post! Thanks for the laughs, cries and sighs. 🙂

Excellent post! Loved it!

I love this! Especially "8 out of 10 parents co sleep with their children at some point in their childhood; 2 out of 10 admit it!" We co-sleep and admit it as often as possible. I am not ashamed of our parenting choices. I also let everyone know I am breastfeeding a toddler.

Crystal
kennedymomandwife.blogspot.com

You always make me smile… so true, all of the above. 🙂

I love the open wound one. That is most definitely the most true thing ever. The other one is the spouse one. I love that one and it made me laugh out loud. And the car thing…so true!

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