Today I have the pleasure of being a part of the #HoHoHoHolidayswap ( every single time I say that , I hear the lyrics..hotel, motel, holiday inn…streaming through my head.What’s that say about me?) . Anyways, these are a great bunch of bloggers who will blow your socks off.
But it is my pleasure to introduce to you one of my favorite people in the world ( bloggy, real and otherwise) Naomi de la Torre the talented and beautiful author of Organic Motherhood with Coolwhip.She can also be found these days writing her velour covered ass off at SheKnows and also as the voice behind baby Lucha @ Baby Banter.
She is a talented writer, a fabulous friend, and can be found on twitter hanging out with the cool kids! Make sure to check out her blog and leave her some love here, as well! Now, let’s give a big Truth About Motherhood welcome to the sweetest, mojito drinking, fallopian tube crossing, salsa dancing, baby wrangling, organic ,baby loving blog bestie of mine…..Naomi!
Today, I can be found spreading my holiday mayhem at A Belle, a Bean and a Chicago Dog.
Stop by and show me some love!
Please stop by as many of the blogs as you can. These ladies are all great writers and you will be in for a treat.
The Bad Sister’s Favorite Christmas
I’m a good sister. Usually. Mostly.
But, according to my little sister Aliza, when we were young, I was bad. Very bad. Very bad indeed. My various crimes include:
1. Tricking her into eating cat food to impress a babysitter.
2. Excluding her from plans to move to New York City and live in a super fabulous loft and write encyclopedias for a living with our same-age cousin Hillary.
3. Not taking her to the bathroom and causing her to have various accidents that could have been avoided. (More on this later.)
4. Sending her out onto a small pond in our backyard on a raft that didn’t float. (Yes, she sank.)
5. Not playing Barbie Dolls with her. Even when she asked nicely.
I must admit, I did all those things. And more. But the worst of all my childhood crimes is probably one that occurred on Christmas one year.
This was during the era when neon clothes, shoulder pads, knee-length sweaters, and Cindy Lauper-inspired stirrup pants were all the rage and my sister had just received a brand-new pair of hot-pink jean stirrups. She was over the moon for her new outfit, which also came with a handful of jelly bracelets and a matching Mickey Mouse shirt. Just as we were trying on all our Christmas loot, my sister said, “Uh-oh! I have to pee!”
For whatever reason (I simply cannot explain my motives) I raced in front of her, dashed into the bathroom and stood on top of the toilet. She came in and pleaded with me to get off. She begged me to get down. She told me that it wasn’t funny. She told me it wasn’t nice. But apparently, I found the whole situation quite hilarious and I stood there on top of the toilet laughing hysterically. That is, until she became very quiet , turned bright red, and stood motionless while a big wet circle grew on the front of her brand new hot pink stirrup pants.
After that, I felt bad.
But apparently not bad enough to avoid the many other crimes that I’ve been accused of during the rest of my childhood.
Is this really my favorite Christmas?
No, of course not. There was also the Christmas during which I got my period for the first time and my mother felt the need to shout this information at top-volume throughout my Grandma’s house in front of a whole slew of male relatives. Which caused me such intense mortification that I considered taking up residence in the bathroom and never coming out again.
But that was probably my sister’s favorite Christmas. Not mine.
In truth, my sister and I are the best of friends. But when we were kids, we fought as often as we got along. My two boys are the same age difference apart as us and their daily squabbles send me over the edge. Regularly. They tease each other incessantly. They fight over toys. They tell tales on each other. Sometimes, I just want to scream, “Why can’t you just get along!!??” But I guess, considering my sordid past, I really don’t have the right to say this.
Christmas, for me, above all else, is a
time for family. And family is love. I love my family with an intensity that sometimes crushes me to bits and makes it hard to breathe. I can’t imagine my existence without them. And I adore this time of year because it gives us all a reason to come together. With a family like mine that is spread halfway across the globe, our times together are infrequent, but they are wonderful.
And yes, though we are now grown, we still tease each other. We argue. We play favorites. We tell stories on each other. We throw each other under the bus. Even as adults. No one is perfect.
And though you won’t find me standing atop any toilets when my friends or family are desperate anymore, I can’t claim that I don’t do something equally irritating and juvenile, just maybe something a little more fitting for my age range.
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43 comments
OMG, well now I just can't WAIT to meet Naomi! We'll be fast friends because yes, I'm irritating and juvenile.
Great post!
I'm gonna meet Naomi, I'm going to meet Naomi.
(Told ya I was juvenile!)
Wooooot woot!! You have NO idea how excited I am to be guest posting over here, Debi. You are the greatest bestie ever! Thank you for that awesome introduction and I really really wish you could be over here in Texas with me and Amy too. *sulking* Do you know it's been in the 80's here this week????? It's so crazy. It feels more like summer than Christmas. We have to find a way to hang out in person one of these days. Hopefully we can bust out our spicy salsa dresses next time I'm in Chicago. We'll paint the whole town red. And then some. I love ya, girl!! Mwah!!!!
@ Mads Mom: I also wanted to say that I am OVER THE MOON about getting the chance to meet you this week. And I promise I won't stand on any toilets while I hang out with you, Amy, or make you pee on yourself in hot pink stirrup pants. Probably. Maybe.
Naomi,
I loved this post. It is so something I would have, could have, might have done to my 2 little sisters and I see it happening regularly between my girls. Viva la sister love!Thanks for guest posting,you rock my socks off.Now,if I could just find a way to meet you and Amy next week in Texas:)Love ya!
xoxoxo
@AMY,
You will love her!She is the kind of friend that everybody deserves in life.She is like a damn ray of sunshine…and I am not exaggerating:)Have fun hanging out in Texas!LOL
Hi! A new follower from Wed blog hop! http://www.adayinmotherhood.com
@lomargie
https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Day-in-Motherhood/103295486398365
Thanks!
The announcement of your period is totally Karma coming back at you! 🙂
OMG. First off, hot pink stirrup pants made me spit out my drink this morning. I remember those Christmases of getting shaker sweaters and stirrups. Blech!
Second, it says a lot about you that you stood on that toilet. 🙂 Oh, the karma of you getting your period announced like Queen Elizabeth was arriving…too much!
I need to go tweet you now because I didn't know you were in Texas!
@Lori Nice to meet you! Thanks for joining in!
@Liz You are right! I totally deserved that. Hopefully I'm in Karmic balance now:) Heehee.
@Gigi I know! And the worst part is that all of that stuff is coming back!! I saw some hot pink jeans that looked almost identical to the originals at the mall the other day. (My sister would probably still love them. I should get them for her to restore the karmic balance.) Thanks for the tweet too!! Are you also in Texas?? Where? We should meet up sometime!
As always, a great post from Organic Motherhood! Girl, you are an evil sister standing on that toilet! Just kidding. I'm sure most of us have done worse to our siblings. My brother and I have always gotten along wonderfully but we had our moments. He's the one who took it upon himself to reveal the truth about Santa. But not only Santa…the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, you name it, he told me. He claims he was being a protective brother who wanted to fill me in on all the lies our parents tell us, but I think he just wanted to prove he was smarter than me.
Merry Christmas to everyone and happy New Year! And what a great idea about the holiday blog swap. Will this be an annual thing? I'd love to get in on the action next time around.
Oh man oh man.
You wretched, wretched thing!
(I say as I die laughing.)
And hot pink stirrup pants…*sigh*…where have all the fashion mavens gone, I ask you?
Oh, the thoughts of Contempo Casuals boxes being a thing of JOY , when found under the tree.
Oh, and I had the big big sweater to my knees, with the patterned stirrups that gave everyone cankles.
Thanks for stirring up some hilarious patheticness from the memory files.
Merry Xmas, Deb and Naomi! You're both such kind, wonderful women.
The Empress nailed it! Hilarious memories, aren't they?
I also got my sisters to eat dog and cat food. I can't believe they did it 😉
Let me just say how jealous I am about all of you meeting Naomi! One of these days I want to meet her too!!!
I'm pretty sure I got that outfit for Christmas too and there are pictures to prove it. Personally, I think you did your sister a favor my having her wet it before pictures could be taken.
Naomi, can I call you Nay? I'm scrambling to find some hot pink stirrup pants. Nows the time to make me wet my pants if ever there was one! (And removing the heavy sweaters from my suitcase!)
I can see that outfit perfectly. Especially the large pee stain. Classic. This was hysterical! Also made me long for a sister…
Man, I love you so much. I'm 100% the older sister in this scenario. And every other.
Oh wow! Yep…sounds like something a sister would do. I've often said, my sisters and I were diabolical in our torture plans, but deadly to anyone else who hurt one of us.
I could use some stirrup pants. And leg warmers. No really!
That's terrible! You're poor sister! I have a feeling she wasn't entirely innocent when you were growing up, though. 🙂
(Sidenote: I was cracking up at the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn reference!)
That's too funny. You big sister's must be born with the desire to make younger sister's cry. Mine did it all the time to me too. Loved the story…thanx for sharing. Isn't it true how we can drive each other nuts but then have each other's backs! Families are crazy that way.
I'm the little sister in my family, but I took control of the tormentor role. If I had done that to my sister, I would have thought it HILARIOUS. Too bad I wasn't creative enough to think of it!
As an only child I've always been terribly envious of those with siblings. But I do get to enjoy my stirrup pants in peace, so that's something!
Naomi, you have me dying over here! So funny, and amazing the depths we will sink to when siblings are involved!
And those outfits took me back a bit…I had a long run with shoulder pads that I would just as soon forget.
Have fun with Amy! I've met her and she's a hoot!
🙁 I think my age is coming up to bite me, because I have no idea what anyone is talking about, almost like my whole Fresca incident with Lori LOL. I think I was born either during or after this era. buutttt Standing on the toilet totally sounds like something my boys would do to each other! In fact I know they would, <3 siblings.
@RollerCoasterWife: Hey Girl! It is so good to see you here!! And yes, you're right. I AM the evil sister. (But I can be nice too. Sometimes.) That's hilarious about your brother. Nino was doing that recently at school. Telling all the kids that SAnta is just a man in a red suit. I had to explain to him that he needed to keep that info on the DL, cuz he was ruining everyone's Christmas. I don't think he even understood what he was doing. It's all my husband's fault that he doesn't beileve in Santa anyway. Arg! Anyway, it would be AWESOME if you joined in on the HOHO swap next year!! I'll make sure you are included. I love ya, girl!! And a merry merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family! xoxoxoxoxox
Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points: Oh I love you, girl! And you better watch out. Don't wear any hot pink stirrups if I ever get to meet you. It's just too tempting for the evil inside me. Merry Christmas!! Huggles to all!
@Empress: I am DYING to see some pics of you in those patterned stirrups and oversize sweaters. I bet you were the essence of 80's hotness. Please share!! I was always kind of a big dork. I had to follow along in the fashion trends of my little sis. And she is 3 years younger than me. Maybe that's why I stood on the toilet? I was jealous of her 80's fashionista power. Hee hee. Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family! I love you, Alexandra. You are such an awesome friend. Thanks for being you!
@Natalie: Oh it's so good to know I'm not the only evil sister out there. You tricked your siblings into eating cat and dog food too? LOL. I told her it was graham crackers and it seems to me she quite enjoyed it. I love you, Nat! You are such an awesome friend. I wish we could meet also! One of these days when I get out to Cali I'm gonna stalk your house. Just wait! xoxoxoxox Merry Christmas to you and your sweet little adorable monsters.
@Poppy: Bwhahaaha!! I'm going to tell my sis what you said. She'll get a kick out of that. And PLEASE, if you have any real live photos of you in that hot pink getup, YOU MUST SHARE!!! I want evidence! I love ya, Poppy! You are so awesome and so much fun. Thanks so much for your friendship and Merry Merry Christmas to you and your sweet family! xoxoxoxoxo
@Amy: Please do not tempt me. I really don't want to have to make you pee yourself during our first meeting. You might never want to hang with me again. Though I really would like to see you in a pair of those hot pink stirrups. Esp. preggers and all. That would be a photo to remember.
@Missy Wonder Friend: Yep, sisterhood really is awesome. I just wished we lived closer now so I could torment her more easily and more often. Thanks for visiting and a very happy Christmas to you and your beautiful family!!
@KLZ: I love you more. And we must schedule a get together at some point. With our sisters. It would be so awesome.
@Mandy That is SO TRUE. For as much hell as I put my sis though, I was a BEAST to anyone who so much as looked at her wrong. Funny huh? I love you, Mandy! Thanks for coming over here to visit. And a big ole Merry Xmas to you and your sweet little family! I love ya, girl!
@MommaKiss: And I bet you would look adorable in them! (Just don't tempt me by wearing them in my genenral vicinity. I can't be responsible for my own actions where hot pink stirrups are concerned.) So happy to see you are out and about and feeling a little better. Love ya, girl! Merry Merry Christmas!
@Not Just Another Jennifer: Yeah, she wasn't exactly the model of sweetness either, but considering I was the Queen of Evil, I guess I don't blame her. Bwhahaha! Thanks for stopping by. I'm heading over to visit your blog later today! Great to meet you!
Megan: Not for long if you become fast friends with me. Hide your stirrups ladies! I can't control myself around them.
Crystal: I agree! Families are so crazy, but we love each other all the same right? Great to meet you here in this blog hop and I LOVED your dog poop Christmas story! A must-read for everyone!!!
@Balancing Mama Julie: That's awesome. But please don't share any of your tactics with my sis. She might still be looking for a little retribution…hhahahaaha. Great to meet you! I love your blog!
@Mama P: You must be super young huh? Good thing. You missed the whole 80's spectacle and didn't have to live the rest of your life traumatized. Great to meet you! And I look forward to getting to know you better. Merry Christmas!
@Sherri: Yeah, I'm a little embarassed to say JUST how long of a run I had with shoulder pads *she said while frantically ripping a pair out of her shirt* I'm so excited to meet Amy! And I wish I could meet you too! Have a wonderful Christmas! Lots of love! xoxoxoxo
Wow, I cannot believe you were that mean Naomi! You are such a sweetheart as an adult. Or, at least that's what I see. It's funny how we take out of our issues on teh ones we love the most. I'm glad to hear though that you and your sister are close now. I can only hope that my little gals become best of friends for life.
Naomi, I can't believe you made your sister pee her pink pants. I love that 🙂 And I love you. Merry Christmas, darlin'!