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Parenting is nothing you expected and everything you could have imagined all rolled into one. I have been spit up on, pooped on, vomited on all before 7 a.m. in the newborn years. I’ve watched my toddler shove a pearl up her nose and poop in her mouth, and I’ve even masticated food. Not as fun as it sounds. I’ve survived breast buds and the sex talk. I share everything I ever learned and you might want to know about parenting from pregnancy to labor thru to the teens years.  It’s is hard but it’s the toughest job that you’ll ever love but the salary sucks.

I was all prepared to write something really snarky and funny but alas, it is not to be! After my nightly shower, once the girls were finally asleep, I dried my hair and went in search of those damn couple of rogue gray hairs. Yes, I pick them. I know, not smart. Anyways, I noticed the other day ( by touch ) that there was a little rough patch on my scalp. I figured probably a little sun burn, maybe ..who knows what. Who has time to look? I take a shower, I usually let my hair air dry, I go to sleep. I’m lucky I get to be clean.I have mirrors, I just never have the time to fully utilize them. But tonight, on my gray hair recon mission, I found the patch. I analyzed it. It’s red and flaky, a little smaller than the size of a dime and, to my shock and dismay, my effin hair is missing from the spot. So, I am sitting here whimpering. Yes, actually whimpering. All kinds of horrible scenarios have shot through my head. I know you are thinking to yourself, what kind of moron doesn’t notice her hair has fallen out…enough to have a small patch of missing hair? Me, the kind of busy, stressed out moron who has a lion’s mane for hair and almost always wears it pulled back in a ponytail. That’s who! I spend every waking moment obsessing over every inch of my girls bodies, analyzing it for anything that may need treatment. I am ready for all scenarios..in their lives. But in my own life, I don’t even have time to notice something as obvious as my effing hair falling out? Tomorrow, I call my doctor. Hey doctor, if you are reading this…what the EFF is going on ? I need something to get rid of the red spot, regrow my hair, and stop me from crying..stat!! This day has kicked my ass, and totally added insult to injury~ Is it stress? Am I going bald? Do I have some kind of scalp condition? Some kind of disease? WHAT THE F*CK!! All I know is I am going to bed, to pray to God that this is not serious and reversible and so I can sleep and not think about this shitty situation. Sweet dreams!

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Slipping through my fingers~ It won’t be like this for long. I know it seems like I have been dwelling on this topic lately but its just been that kind of a week. My little girls seem to be growing up at lightening speed this summer and, quite honestly, its breaking my heart a little bit. Where did my chubby little newborns crying for me to breastfeed them in the middle of the night go? I may have been terminally exhausted but it was a blissful exhaustion. I wore my exhaustion proudly as some sort of badge, screaming to the world, I am A Mommy! I am AWESOME!

Slipping through my Fingers

It’s true there is a feeling of entitlement that comes with giving birth. Nothing feels quite like it. Sure, I complained about having no sleep, and was constantly questioning the Gods why she never stopped crying. But secretly,(shhhh) I really didn’t mind at all. Much like  I never really minded the unplanned co-sleeping, kissing booboos, or being the only person who could make their world right again. The same way I never minded having to lay down and cuddle them to get them to sleep, or have a lost lovey fed exed in from Grandma ChaCha because my toddler was inconsolable nor did I mind the tears they shed when I left them for the first time with someone else because ,secretly, I loved it all!I love being their everything even if it is a drag sometimes.
It seemed a lifetime before my little babies were capable of doing the simplest of tasks. Then ,it was like I looked away for a moment and suddenly , they were capable. Every milestone filled us with elation and pride. That first word couldn’t come fast enough; hearing their voices for the first time was like hearing the voice of God. Then quickly came rolling over, crawling, cruising, walking, etc..it all happened so fast it was like every accomplishment was hurled at me and knocked me onto my ass to sit helplessly and be witness to it all. The thing that no one ever tells you is that with every single new accomplishment, new worries ensue. Of course I wanted them to be more independent. But with each  iota of independence they gained, I had to relinquish a little bit of my heart. I am so proud to be the Mommy of such bright and independent little girls, but the pride is short lived and quickly  heartache takes its place, as I realize soon ….they won’t need me at all!
I can hardly believe how fast these past 5 years have passed and how much my life has changed from having my girls. Having them has certainly given me a greater purpose and increased my quality of life exponentially, in most regards. I can barely stand the thought that one day, in the not so distant future, I won’t be able to see them every day, and worse, they won’t mind.Why doesn’t anyone tell us about this before we get pregnant. The letting go has got to be the hardest part of Motherhood. I used to think they couldn’t live without me, but really, it’s me who will have difficulty surviving without seeing them every day. How do you survive when your heart has left your body? How do you function? They are like oxygen to my soul.Not in some creepy,I’m going to lock them in the basement until they are 40 type of way, I just mean how can you love someone so much and be expected to exist without them in your life at full capacity?
These precious moments that we have the privilege of being part of in our children’s lives pass by far too quickly.My rational self knows this is how this relationship is supposed to play out; my heart, however, has major problems with this whole situation and I am not afraid tell you, I think it is is trying to organize a coup on my good sense.This makes me reexamine my relationship with my own Mother. One day it will be me waiting patiently at home for my girls to call, and  its likely that the calls will never come soon or frequent enough. Soon, I will be the one wanting and needing their attention. Sorry, Mom! Hey, karma..pay attention, none of this coming back around shit! I said I was sorry! Mom already has you working in cahoots with her to give me ” a couple little girls that act just like you (me)!” So, karma, lets stop all the craziness. I don’t want what I gave , I want more from my relationship with my own girls!
I just hope the Mother /Daughter relationship with my girls grows into friendship as they grow up.I want to be a woman who they look up to , want to emulate, and spend time with because of the kind of woman I am not just because they have to because I gave birth to them. I want them to come to me for advice and honesty and value my opinion. This is something that I have to work at now, because it won’t be like this for long.
But for now, I am going to cherish every single moment of co-sleeping snuggling and random “I LOVE YOU”s that I can get my hands on!

I had to share this video because, as some of you know, this is the song that my Bella looked me in the eyes and said ,”Mommy, this is me and your song!” She was dead serious and I was stopped dead in my tracks and brought to tears; as I am every single time I hear this damn song!I’m telling you, these girls of mine…they have got to stop growing up so fast!

 

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prenatal yoga, serenity now, mommy truisms

Mommy truisms ~The truth, the whole truth and nothing but my entire truth. I wish someone would have told me the truth, but I’ m sure I wouldn’t have believed them if they had tried! But no more, I refuse to further take part in the vicious cycle of perpetuating the myth of constant Motherhood bliss by sharing my brutally honest truth about Motherhood!

  • When receiving your epidural during transition labor (first of all, if you are  in transition labor..you’ve missed your window of escaping the ordeal pain free), you certainly do not care what the consequences are of an epidural mishap. Chronic migraines? Possibility of paralysis? Death? Bring it on, at that point anything was better than the pain of my labor!
  • Looking into the eyes of your newborn for the first time is, indeed, a Godlike moment filled with spirituality and you better believe it will change your life forever.
  • A baby changes everything is by far the most honest and underestimated advertising slogan of the century; of all time! Hell yeah; Pregnancy changes everything!
  • No penis ever blacked a fetus’ eye! I promise you, it doesn’t happen ..no matter what your husband wants to believe!
  • Sometimes giving into whining, screaming and tantrums is an absolute must. Do not feel like a failure! Do not beat yourself up over it! Let it go! Serenity now!
  • Mom’s Night out is imperative to your sanity! Do it! Everyone will be happier, your husband will get lucky, and the kids will be glad Mommy has pulled the grouchy stick out of her ass! Trust me, I learned this the hard way!
  • Alone time with your husband is an absolute necessity for the survival of your marriage! Don’t feel guilty, if it weren’t for the love that you two share, those kiddies wouldn’t be here. Love your man, love yourself, love your life and you will be capable of loving your children even more.
  • Sometimes a large glass of wine, after the kids go to bed, is what needs to be done to help you decompress enough to move past all of the chaos of the day. Don’t feel guilty! Keep that damn bottle chilled and when you really need it, uncork it, and sip it until you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and all the shit (literal and metaphorical) from the day falls off of you..like a nightie on your honeymoon.
  • Stay at Home Mom(SAHM) is the most underpaid, overworked, 24/7 job that a woman can ever undertake. It will let you know what you are really made  of. It’s the only job that will take you from the throes of hell to the gates of heaven within a 24 hour period and sometimes simultaneously.
  • Mommies who work outside of the home, they have double the work. We SAHM Mommies may be envious at times because they get to leave the house for a few hours, but then they have to deal with the guilt of leaving their children plus come home and do what we do all day…in 4 hours. So, cut each other some slack, its hard all the way around. There’s no getting around it; raising healthy, happy, intelligent,independent,  socially responsible humans is a lot of hard work! But I believe its worth it because in the end, no money can substitute for what a random “Me Love you MOMMY” feels like. That is priceless!

What are your mommy truisms?

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I’ve found that as a Mother, the moments that I learn the most valuable lessons are when I am not thinking at all. So sad but so true. For example, amidst all the craziness that this morning was..the girls were having a slap fight, Gabs decided to tell me : “You hate me! ME no love you!” for the infraction of not letting her wear long sleeves outside in the 90 degree weather ( I can see her point..I’m just a mean bitch), and Bella went completely deaf and ignored absolutely every single thing I asked her to do or told her not to do this morning ( again, must be me. How dare I think my girls should be held responsible for their actions!)! Stupid, naive, me…I thought it was going to be a good day, I woke up to sunshine, hot coffee, and Paramore and then hell broke lose!

 

But, somewhere along the way, something clicked. Oh yes, I remember. I was checking my FB account and a friend of mine had posted her son’s senior montage. I watched it, for no other reason than curiosity. I don’t really know her son. As I was watching it, I started tearing up (just like I did at the end of Toy Story 3).

Suddenly, like a ton of bricks it hit me…these tantrums and days that seem to be endless..are fleeting and passing me by at lightening speed. Before I know it, I will be watching Bella’s senior montage and sending her off into the world to be her own person; left to her own devices and there will be no more daily tantrums, slap fights, screaming matches but there will also be no more random I love yous, neck ringing hugs, co sleeping, spontaneous dance parties and silly song concerts! On a day soon after that, it will be packing Gabs up for college and sending her off.

When we are waiting to meet our children, 10 months feels like forever. When they are toddlers and having tantrums, and it seems like the days will never end of changing shitty diapers, or we’ll never get to be alone again; these days we wish away. But I am here to tell you, if you change your thinking and realize that those precious little hands that hold yours will soon be to large to want to do so, that the child who won’t leave your side will soon rather not be seen in public with you because you are an embarrassment, and that the little girl who thinks that you are the world and annoys you to no end messing with your shoes, clothes and make up will soon want nothing to do with you.

If we realize from the moment they are born, we are losing them and that with every milestone and tantrum they are one step closer to heading out the door for college, then maybe we can slow down, gain perspective and enjoy the madness; embrace the chaos, and love our children for the who they are today. I know its hard to realize this in the midst of the chaos, but take a moment and try to remember to cherish even the worst days because they are flying by and soon there will be no more chaos to cherish!

Hug them, kiss them, let them play in the puddles, act silly with them, let them cook with you, don’t waste their childhood wishing it away.Sometimes you’ve got to break some rules to make some memories. It’s not about how much money you spend, how clean your house is, or what you cook for dinner. What they’ll remember is how much you loved them and how much time you spent with them….make it count! Happy Mothering!

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Jumpstart Free 3 month Membership Giveaway

 Only 2 more days left to sign up for the Jumpstart Giveaway! There are low entries, so high chances to win! Its a great program for children 3-10! Go here to register to win! Good luck! Contest ends 7/21/10 at 9 pm est!

For all who read my review of The Emperor’s New clothes, I have great news for anyone who is interested in seeing the show themselves. The Chicago Shakespeare Theater is offering my readers $5 off any admission ticket for any show, just use the promo code “MOM” when purchasing online or at the box office.

Fine Print: Subject to Availability. Cannot be used in combination with any other offer or on previously purchased tickets. 

Snikkidy Baked Fries Review

Last week, I received a bag of Snikiddy’s All Natural Baked Cheddar Cheese Fries to review.
We received them on the day we returned home from a road trip, the girls were hungry and it was perfect timing. I opened the bag and split it 3 ways between us. I thought they were awesome. They sort of reminded me of Cheetos without the guilt. Snikiddy’s baked fries are all-natural, gluten and wheat free with no preservatives, no corn syrup, no trans-fats, no hydrogenated oils, and have 50% less fat than fried snacks like potato or vegetable chips. The girls agrees because the fries were gone in about 60 seconds flat. I always welcome any new healthy snack ideas that I can pass along to my readers. I know how hard it is to find healthy snacks for our kids that taste good. There is only so many Cheerios, Goldfish and Puffs that our children are willing to eat. Variety is the spice of life. Also, the Baked fries come in 6 different flavors; Southwest Cheddar, Bold Buffalo, Cheddar Cheese, Classic Ketchup, Parmesan Garlic, and Original.
Snikiddy is running a few promotions right now – for the next week, if you buy a Snikiddy sharing pack on Alice.com you will get $1 off, and also if you visit the Sweepstakes tab at Facebook.com/Snikiddy you can enter the weekly drawing to win a Snikiddy gift pack or the grand prize, a new Jamis kids’ bike. 

Disclosure: I was provided with a sample of Snikiddy’s Cheddar Cheese Fries by  Smile.ly in order to try the product and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were NOT influenced by Smile.ly or Snikiddy.. 

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Today, my Mother in law and I took the girls to the splash pad. The day was gorgeous, 90 degree weather, the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze blowing. It was the perfect type of day to take the girls to a wonderful wholesome  fun family activity; the local parks department splash pad. My girls are water babies and in the heat, the splash pad is the safest way for preschoolers to beat the heat…or so I thought.
We arrive and the girls are overcome with excitement, dressed in the new bikinis that their Grandma ChaCha had gotten them for this visit. Bella was over the moon about the cheetah print bikini with the hot pink piping on the edges and Gabi was sporting a red, white and blue striped bikini as beautifully as only a 3 year old American girl next door could. They were absolutely adorable.
It was seriously about 100 degrees out, so the splash pad was packed with children running through the glistening cool water.At first the girls were filled with trepidation, it was a little overwhelming with all of the bigger kids running about but soon they became acclimated and were having the time of their life.
Grandma ChaCha and I sat on the bench ,looking on at the girls, mentally recording every grin and smile. Then I started snapping pictures because the girls were just too irresistible not to. It was another one of those days that you just knew memories were happening. Then it all changed.
The splash pad is in the middle of a public park. We had noticed early on that there was a man training a Border Collie. I am always uber aware of our surroundings. I am a people watcher by nature.We thought it was ridiculous but hey , it was his dog and whatever…. we had human babies to watch. Then the man walked his dog over to the splash pad. Not necessarily a great thing to do but whatever, as long as he kept the dog close to him and kept it away from the children. Of course, every single child ( with the exception of mine) ran over to pet the obviously dehydrated Border Collie. My children asked but, first I don’t let my kids pet strange dogs and second, quite frankly, something about this man gave me the heebie jeebies…before he even opened his mouth to talk.  He kept skulking around, watching the kids run through the fountains as they sporadically came up to him and asked to pet the dog. It felt like he was one of those guys who uses their dogs to pick up girls but these “girls” were actually “girls” ages 2- 13. I kept my girls close without alarming them…or him. But for some reason, he kept gravitating toward where we were. He kept circling where we were sitting, and then he came in for conversation. The girls were oblivious but he kept smiling at them and trying to engage my Mother in law and myself. At first, I was pleasant. After all, I wasn’t raised in a cave but then things got weird. He smiled at my 3 year old, practically salivating and licking his lips ( like a man who is speaking to Pamela Anderson while she’s wearing her bikini) and says, “My , you sure are a cute little thing!” And then he proceeded to keep trying to chat up me and my Mother in law.Now, it wasn’t exactly what he said but how he said it and the way he was looking at my girls that sent off my Mommy intuition/alarm. I don’t leave anything to chance when it comes to my daughters , I’d much rather insult an adult with my over protectiveness than let my child get hurt because I was too trusting and I think most parents understand that view point. Our children are the priority,all else is less important…period! Then I noticed him sizing up my 5 year old, as he was talking.I felt my skin crawl. At this point, I was despondent towards him and pretty much ignoring his very existence.My main focus was trying to figure out how the hell to get out of this situation short of saying,”Can you please get your creepy mind the fuck off my children you sick bastard!!” So, I tell my girls…”5 minutes, we’ve got to go meet Grandpa!” My Mother in law, looked like she was on high alert as well, so something was definitely not right with this man. He continued trying to engage us, then it went completely creepy. He proceeds to talk at us and tell us that he was in the service but came out and immediately had himself fixed ( why would you tell a complete stranger this? I think what he meant to say was after he was caught for being a molester he was chemically castrated!) because he didn’t want children ( then why are you hanging around the splash pad full of children, Chester?) and he continues to say that it is so easy to have kids, “You blink and you have like four kids!” Something in his tone was as if he were implying that children were disposable. I know you may be thinking to yourself, this woman is completely overreacting. But if you were there, you know that feeling you get when something is most definitely not right with someone? That was the feeling that  I had. My stomach was in knots; this man had me about to vomit he made me so nervous being around my children. I suddenly felt creeped out and insulted simultaneously ( it was a train wreck of creepy activity) It felt like that any minute he was capable of pulling out a knife and grabbing my girls and running off…in broad day light…he was that CREEPY!! I grabbed my girls with nothing more than a ,” Let’s go.” I covered them up and we left. Normally, I would have changed them in the car but this freak started following behind us. I was prepared for battle. I was pissed, freaked out, and scared all at the same time. Endorphins was oozing from my pours.My fight or flight response was in overdrive.I have never come in contact with someone whom, I felt, actually were a threat to my children. But this man made me feel afraid for them. It was reminiscent of that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw massacre when the creepy guy gets in the van and then cuts himself and they are stuck in the van with him. You know you don’t want him there, but you are afraid of what might happen if you spook him, Needless to say, we will NEVER go to that splash pad again..EVER.
The moral of the story; it is our moral obligation that if something feels wrong for our children,as their protectors, we must do whatever it takes to keep them safe, no matter how crazy it seems.My only regret is that I didn’t call the cops on this guy for lurking around the splash pad accosting mothers and leering at children and that I didn’t grab my girls and run the minute he looked in their general direction. By the time we left, only about 10 minutes had passed from start to finish but I felt dirty and violated.What do you think? Did I over react? Or does Mommy intuition trump all rhyme or reason?

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I picked Miley Cyrus’ “I can’t be tamed!” Stop laughing! I realize I am a grown woman who is choosing to use a Miley Cyrus song to represent her life but what can I say..it fits! I have been many things at many different times in my life to many different people but one thing has always been constant, I have always been me and I CAN NOT BE TAMED! Just ask the big guy. He has been trying for 13 years, as did my Daddy before that. It is simply impossible. I am woman , hear me roar!Happy Mothering!

Blog Bash

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beautiful mom an daughter singing karaoke or rock band into brushes in a brightly lit room

Things have been hectic, to say the least, around here the last few months. There was a time \, not so long ago, when I was positive that I would lose my mind at any moment. The girls realized that they outnumbered me during the week and they decided that was the time to strike.

Devious little boogers they are, it seemed as though they were plotting and conniving to make my life a living hell while their father was away. I was certain that they were striving to make me go mad. They almost succeeded. Oh yeah, they almost broke me. You know that feeling you get when the day is just too long, the kids haven’t listened at all, the laundry is piled to the ceiling, toys have exploded all over the living room, and the children have definitely been possessed by a demon of some sort? Yeah, that’s the kind of few months I was having.

READ ALSO: How to survive a commuter marriage with a part-time parent

Then one night, after a string of hectic days culminating with Bella’s 5th birthday, my husband suggested that I come downstairs and play Rock band with him, my brother, my sister and her fiance. It was a very typical family gathering of our bunch. I have always loved to sing but not exactly thrilled about singing into a microphone in front of people. I wasn’t sure Rock band was my thing. Isn’t that more for prepubescent teen rock band wannabes and frat boys? But it was amongst family, they were drinking, my husband made me a Pomtini (the girls had finally went to bed) and……a star was born.

I sang the hell outta “Take another little piece of my heart”, “We got the Beat”. “Linger”, even a little “Painkiller”! I was in a zone and having the time of my life. I was in my basement, drinking Pomtinis with my favorite people in the world and singing like no one was watching! It was liberating, it was soothing, and it allowed me a place to channel all of that frustration and aggravation I had been trying to contain. You know the days when you feel like you are trapped in Munch’s The Scream?

This is how How Rock Band Karaoke and Pomtini’s Saved One Mom’s Sanity

beautiful mom an daughter singing karaoke or rock band into brushes in a brightly lit room

The next morning, I woke up and I felt calmer ( almost creepy calm) and I was able to function on a much higher level as an adult. Isn’t that ironic?  I was actually able to step back from the situations of chaos; the exploding toy boxes, the toddler catfights (Meow!Kitties have claws), the dog pissing on the floor because I was up til 2 am posting after the kids went to sleep and wasn’t up at the crack of dawn to let the bitch out, and more. Rock band allowed me the time to have perspective and to be alone in my head for a few minutes. Serenity now!

READ ALSO: Finally, a normal marriage where no one leaves

Now, when I feel the craziness getting to be too much…I grab the girls, head downstairs and we Rock out to Rock Band. I sing as many songs as it takes to get the frustration out and the calmness back ( hey it sounds prettier than screaming at the kids and it serves the same purpose).

beautiful mom an daughter singing karaoke or rock band into brushes in a brightly lit room while jumping on bed

Our sessions have lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours. The girls pretend they are my backup singers and dress up in their princess costumes and dance around, so we are spending quality time together versus me screaming and flying off the deep end. I’d rather have them fondly recollect memories of their goofy Mommy singing Margaritaville instead of their mean Mommy throwing the toys from the floor into the garbage, or burning the laundry because she got sick of looking at it.No, now (on most days) I have been able to back up and say, as my child screams bloody murder because her panties socks a knat an ant her sister is irritating her, “I understand you are frustrated but  it will all be OK. Take a breath and calm down. Let mommy give you a hug!” Opposed to, ” Oh my Freaking God, they are just panties, socks, a knat, and ant, your sister! What is wrong with you?”

Who knew that something I normally would have shunned and turned my nose up at would end up being the very thing that quite literally may have saved my sanity, my relationship with my girls, and my credentials as their Mommy. The Pomtinis didn’t hurt either!

If you need a release and going bald from stress, going gray from stress, getting wrinkles, beating your children, are not avenues that you’d like to explore then I’m suggesting a little stress relief by banging some drums, jamming to some fake guitar, singing your heart out, or just dancing like no one else is around! I promise, you may feel silly in the beginning (because unlike Daddies, Mommies don’t initially feel that it is cool to be playing in a pretend rock band) but by the time you are done with one set, you will feel calmer and more relaxed and even happier! Happy Rock band mothering!

This is how Rock band Karaoke saved one mom’s sanity.

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If you would have asked me a mere 3 years ago when we hired fibreglass pool installers to put our pool if the daily splash in it made by would substitute for a nightly bath, I would have answered a resounding “HELL NO!” Followed by, “That is disgusting! Mom’s who do that are lazy and gross!”
Fast forward to a second child, a raging case of Mommy brain that sometimes feels like a slight case of sun-downers and I’d say, “Maybe?” “It’s better than nothing, right?” “Chlorine is in bleach and bleach is a cleaning agent,ergo the girls are sorta clean, right?”

First, let me start by admitting, I know that it’s gross! Also, let me say that I know this is no substitute for a bath. But sometimes, on those long tiring days of summer,when all time, space and reality is out of whack…it is what it is! Before, I would have reacted like a mad woman, yelling and screeching while overtired, wanting to be playing outside ( damn you long days) children fought the bath like a cat about to be drowned. Oh but I would have won the battle, probably much weaker from the wear. But I am a bigger woman these days, I’d much rather just admit defeat and own up to the fact that some night, like tonight..I wasn’t sure what day I last gave the girls an actual bath. I’m pretty sure it was Saturday Morning before our road trip,so they are due but it will have to wait until tomorrow morning before our next road trip. You didn’t think I was going to take them to my in laws dirty, did you? Geez, what am I some kind of “bad” Mother? Don’t judge me and don’t tell me that your kids have never substituted a day in the pool for a 20 minute splash in the bathtub! That being said, obviously a splash in any organic  body of water is not acceptable. My rule is if fish, or anything else, procreate , defecate, masturbate and urinate in it…it doesn’t count as a substitute. That would be why public pools do not count! EWWW!
What are your thoughts? Have your kiddies ever missed a bath or , ahem, two during swimsuit season? I’m not perfect, but I fight the good fight! Happy Mothering!

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