Mom Life

I am NOT the Mommy who tells her kid about the Boogie Man. I decided this a long time ago because well, its just a tool parents use to scare their children into behaving well. I know, this coming from the same broad who tells her daughters that magical kneecap breaking elves are sent from Santa to keep a watchful eye over them and report back to the Fat Jolly guy, doesn’t make a lot of sense. So, why, you ask, do I draw a line at the “Boogie Man”? Simply because, I tell them monsters are not real and I think they are too young for the whole God/Satan discussion. Therefore, no one is allowed to even joke that the Boogie man is getting anyone in this house. Capiche?

Unfortunately, I had a little slip today. Yes, one of my girls did something ( I can’t honestly even remember what it was at this point) and I made the comment that the Boogie man something or other. As soon as I said it, I wanted to eat the words. I wanted to swallow them whole and push them deep down inside my stomach but it was too late. Those 2 words had fell on to the most astute ears of all time, the ears of Gabs. You know like the ides of March but much more dangerous.

What did I do? Well, I don’t lie to my children ( well, I don’t want to ) so how can I get out of this?I’d said it, she knew it meant something not good, so how the hell was I going to explain it all away? My thought process; Sesame street, Cookie Monster ( big blue friendly dude); Mommy fuck up,Boogie Monster; Crazy invisible guy who comes and eats the boogies of little kids who don’t listen. What a train wreck! Clearly, I should have put more thought into this craziness.

I know, its a terrible cover. One day she’ll know that the Boogie Man is a synonym for Satan but for now she thinks that the Boogie Monster is an invisible dude who comes around if he hears little girls talking back, fighting, telling their Mommy or sister they hate her, or being generally not good ..its the only time he is even aware of their existence.But if he hears, he’ll come and suck all the boogies out of their noses in the middle the night ( sort of like one of those giant bulb suckers which of course, they detest)but ONLY if they are not good.

What white lies have you told your children when caught in a compromising position? How did it work out for you?We’re you ever busted? I’m pretty sure this whole boogie monster thing is going to blow up all over my face. It’s just a matter of time.Bella listened to my explanation and gave me the “I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure that you’re full of crap Mom” look when she heard the whole sordid explanation. Gabs, on the other hand, she’s been the best she’s been since birth! Bella was pretty good too. She’s not taking any chances with Christmas being so close and all.That’s my smart cookie!Happy Mothering!

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Recently, it seems that my girls are growing up at lightening speed. The phrases that pass their lips, the mannerisms, the reading, the attention to detail in their looks, and especially the observations that they make of the world..blow my mind. Here is one of Bella’s gems,as of late.

photo courtesy of google images

Bella recently lost her very first tooth.It was right around Halloween.She was very excited. Her father and I were, let me honest, pretty sad because, you see, this represents her growing up.This is just another first part of letting go.Bet you never knew losing baby teeth had such a deep meaning, did you? Though we may not be thrilled about what it symbolizes, you know we had to make a BIG GIGANTIC deal about it. This is the FIRST tooth.Grandma sent a little satin pillow to place the tooth in and put under my Bella’s pillow and there was a little book to record the moment. I snapped pictures and wiped away a tear*sniff,sniff* It happened on a Thursday, in the middle of the night and Bella told me that she wanted to wait for her Daddy to be home, so he could be part of this momentous occasion. Friday comes, the Big Guy is home, while he and I are hushedly discussing the going rate for a first tooth these days and deciding whether or not one of us had to hit the ATM, Bella walks right up to us and delivers this proclamation; “Mommy and Daddy, I don’t think I am going to put my tooth under my pillow tonight!” We look at one another bewildered. Did I mention she had been waiting for this tooth to fall out since she started kindergarten and all the other kids were missing teeth? Me:”Why not, sweetie?” Bella:”Well, Mommy, I was thinking about it and its pretty creepy that the tooth fairy comes in the middle of the night and steals my tooth!” I shake my head in agreement. My husband is stifling his laughter because really he is just a giant 10 year old,plus it was pretty freaking funny.She was dead serious! Me:”Well, Bella, the fairy doesn’t really steal it. She takes your tooth away and leaves you some money.She buys it!” Bella: “Mommy, I don’t think my teeth are for sale!”

photo courtesy of google images

 So the kids got a point. It is a pretty creepy idea of some little freaky tooth obsessed fairy coming into your bedroom, in the middle of the night, and stealing your discarded teeth away.Who does my Bella think is coming? The tooth fairy? Or the Chupacabra? In exchange the fairy leaves the child a little monetary token on their nightstand, like a John would do for his hooker. It’s all very seedy. Perhaps, we should have given this story a little more thought. I could not in good conscience argue this point with her.I simply told her : “Bella, you don’t have to give your tooth to the tooth fairy tonight.We can just hold on to it and when /if you decide to leave it for the fairy, we can do that too,OK?” Bella looks at me perplexed and then she has a eureka look on her face. Bella: “Mommy, why don’t you and Daddy just give me the money and you can keep the tooth!”Uh oh, the jig is up before it even began. I back peddled and told her something about angering the tooth Gods and throwing off the natural balance of the universe or something to that effect(who can remember, I was floundering to save her childhood) and then I quickly exited the room with her innocence in tact.

Whew! What’s next? The Easter Bunny? Fairy Godmothers? Santa Claus?Unicorns? Somebody slow down this ride, I want to get off.Where are the brakes? What do you do when your child starts questioning the fictitious people in their lives?

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We all know that our friends are priceless. A good friend to share your thoughts with and have some camaraderie with really can make life a lot happier.It makes things fun. You have a cheerleader, someone who always ‘gets’ you.Someone, aside from your husband, who you can be yourself with and they still love you…perks and quirks.

There is something even more precious than a friend and that is the rare mythical creature called a Mommy friend.I’m not referring to the ladies in the  drop off line that you share nothing with other than being mothers of kindergartners. I am not referring to the ladies in the Moms Groups that have to be nice to you because you go to church together.I’m not even referring to those Stroller Striding, Gymboree, baby wearing mates that you spend your days with. Hell, I am not even touching on the Moms you met through common friends and who you have coffee and gossip with while the kids run a muck.The group I am referencing is that very small piece of the population that you meet through some kid like function, your eyes meet, she looks normal, your kids like her kids, her kids like your kids, and you actually can have a conversation outside of your children about, you know, the other things in your life. *gasp*

I know its verboten to speak of such things but it happens occasionally. You know the lady you unsuspectingly meet at ballet class or while at the library checking out dvds books and you have the same parenting technique, you are both drowning in the velvet sea of children and someone takes mercy and tosses the other a flotation device…you know, to save her life!And its like falling in love, but without all the sex to mess it up. You recognize her by her nervous smile and exhausted sighs. In that moment, she rescues you from the isolation that was your island of parenting solitude.

I’ve always had a lot of friends.That’s just who I am. I come from a large family and that’s what we do..people and relationships. When you’re from a large family with not a lot of money, you have to develop a personality.It’s the only thing that you’ve got to offer. I noticed as I had children, loads of my friendships fell to the wayside. Not because I chose it, or even they did, but we grew apart. Either they didn’t have kids or our kids were at vastly different stages in life, leaving us in vastly different stages of motherhood.It makes a difference.It’s like being at the beginning of life or the end of life. Of course we could benefit from that relationship but who has the time or energy when you are trying to chauffeur, cook, fold, clean, wipe asses, comb tangled hair,stop littles from eating the toothpaste and running into the street, and about 2000 other things simultaneously.

Its a little scary. I have two children and in the 5 years that they have been alive, I have made 5 in real life Mommy friends. Yes, of course I’ve met plenty of wonderful ladies to have play dates with or chat up during drop off and pick up but only 5 have I shared a real connection. Only 5 do I want to sit down and talk about whats really going on in my life. Only 5 that would want to share a glass of wine and  get my advice. Only 5 that I can unleash my verbal diarrhea on and them actually engage with a thoughtful answer and not a head shake, blank stare and a “Right, right”. These ladies are my village. These ladies are the ones who have seen me at my best and my worst and don’t judge me for it. Don’t think less of me for being human.These friends are worth double their weight in gold. They are my tether to sanity.They are amazing.

Who are your Mommy friends?How and where did you meet them? What do you think qualifies a true Mommy friendship?

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As most of you are aware, the Big Guy works out of town..A LOT! Like several days of the week. Basically, that leaves me to Mother the girls all by myself. Honestly, when he comes home for a couple days..its like Christmas and Fourth of July all in one.Its chaotic and exciting  but it’s not routine.It’s like a great big Daddy tornado sweeps through the house.We love it.Believe me, I am ecstatic that he has a job at all and I look forward to him coming home the way most people look forward to the last day of their work week. But when it is over, I am left to pick up the emotional pieces ( and literally to clean up the house that the tornado hit); to soothe the crying, to bandage the heart wounds, to deal with girls missing their Daddy.Plus I get to do all the stuff all mothers get to do, I work from home, I clean,cook, do laundry, run the girls to and fro various activities, arrange play dates, bathe them, get ready for school, pick up from school, homework,pack snacks, sign permission slips and all the other obligatory school responsibilities,ballet, rehearsal, and on top of all of that…try and maintain my sanity.

So,when I got engaged in a Twitter debate with  a fellow tweep over a statement similar to this “just because your husband works out of town a lot does not make you a single mother.” Her viewpoint, being neither a single Mother, nor a woman whose husband is gone 5/7ths of the week, was that my disagreement with the statement was not right. In fact, she went as far as to tell me that I was not single mothering it…I was lonely.Which made me laugh because how the hell can I be lonely when I have 2 littles with me at all times of the day and night? Hell,I can’t even go to the bathroom by myself.I’m not lonely…most days.I’m too busy with all this mothering business that I do on my own to be lonely. She argued that I was married and the fact that he paid the bills made me not single mothering.Wow! Who knew the only qualification for being a father or co parenting is to pay some bills! I love a woman who has never walked a minute in my shoes telling me that my life is easy and I am just a lonely complainer. Yey, for her!

I really should have just stopped tweeting because honestly trying to explain it to her was like trying to talk to an ESL student in Pig Latin on Mars. I don’t know if she didn’t understand what I was trying to say or simply just didn’t care. I am going to say it was the latter.

Let’s be clear, I have the utmost respect for single mothers. I don’t know how you do it. You are seriously the hardest working women in the Mommy business. That being said, it’s no picnic having a husband who has had to take a job that takes him away from the house….always. It’s not occasional business trips.The weekly job, that is the business trip.Can you say commuter marriage? I am NOT a single mother because I am not single.I am married. That is true. But this is also true, I do all the mothering and daddying..5 days a MYSELF! So, when this narrow minded broad, who doesn’t know me, doesn’t share my situation, doesn’t even listen to my explanation, tries to tell me that I have it easy because I am married, forgive me for wanting to punch her in her gullet. It was almost as ridiculous as having a single non child having person trying to give out parenting advice.

What are your thoughts?Do you sometimes single Mother? Are you a full time single mother? Do you think life would be easier if it were only sometimes? Or maybe it would be easier if it were full time?What qualifies it as being hard? Time spent doing it? Doing it alone? Isn’t mothering hard enough with all the Mommy guilt?Now, we have to prove how hard it is to other unsympathetic women?

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Remember the good old days when you could spell any word that you wanted your children NOT to understand. I don’t know how many times we spelled “B.A.T.H”, “S.L.E.E.P”, “N.A.P.” “O.U.T.S.I.D.E.” and every single curse word..ever! In fact the other night, my friend and I were at dinner talking and she burst out into spelling a curse word.We both chuckled because the youngest person at the table was my baby sister who is 32. But its just one more of our Mommy moments.

Unfortunately for me, my brilliant 5 year old is phonetically spelling everything now and when we spell..she figures it out. So, no more talking about how they won’t be going outside, or can’t drive their Barbie Escalade in 50 degree weather. No more whispered spelling about what we plan to do after the girls go to sleep. No more talking about what just transpired with the crazy mom. No, because now my child who hears absolutely nothing I have to say to her can hear everything I spell that is of absolutely no concern to her.Worse, she can understand what I am spelling and takes great unabashed joy in deciphering my Mommy code!

Damn! Why did I ever teach my kid to spell? I am fairly certain my life is going to hell in a gasoline doused hand basket, any day now. She’s already heard too much. She has cracked my code but worse is she cracked it before telling me she understood. In theory, I may or may not have said something about a certain crazy mother, teacher, neighbor or family member that may get repeated at the most inopportune time.It’s like I’m being held hostage by a kindergartner, without her knowledge.I can’t ask her not to say anything because a) I’m not sure entirely what she has deciphered and understood and what she has not b)if I do broach the subject and ask her not to repeat any thing, what kind of an example am I setting? I’d be teaching her that its OK to be mean and ugly and then to lie to cover it up.Yeah, because that will never come back to bite me in the ass.

No thank you! I have already learned my lesson, from my Mother’s flurry of “I hope you have a little girl just like you when you grow up” that has since hit me over the head and kicked me in the ass ten fold. NO, I know the bitch that karma can be and I choose not to taunt or tempt her. I will keep my mouth shut. Stop spelling in front of my big brained baby and really just try and be a better person. After all, isn’t it my mouth that got me into all of this trouble and not my daughter’s big brain or astute hearing skills? But I still would like to know Why did I teach my girl to spell? Next thing you know, she’ll be deciphering for her little sister.Happy Mothering!

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I’m sure you all are on pins and needles wondering just how my birthday celebration went, so I’m going to tell you..the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the TRUTH!

The day started off in a bit of a hectic haze. We were trying to get the house in some kind of order before the grandparents showed up for babysitting duty. God Bless ’em! Without these two beautiful souls, the birthday celebration would not have been even remotely possible.
After frantic running around like chickens with our heads chopped off, finally we were dressed, packed and ready to hit the road.Bella decided that at the point that I  was walking out the door would be a fabulous time to cue the tears. Nothing like a raging case of Mommy guilt to start the journey off with. I was determined. I had tickets to the 3 pm production of Romeo and Juliet ( I will elaborate on that in an upcoming post) and I had to go. So, I gave the girls one last hug and kiss and left them for the first time ever overnight.

It was a long night, so I will just post a quick synopsis of the entire night. After the show, we hit the hotel for a quick change into our night in the city outfits. Mine consisted of a black and white dress, 5 inch heels and an application of my nighttime makeup.It really is a miracle what a difference a little bit of time and effort can make in your appearance and your self confidence.

This is me and my little sister sometime after dinner and a couple cocktails.

We had dinner at the fabulous Japonaise downtown. Where we all consumed obscene amounts of sushi, martinis, wine and saki. There was never a lull in the conversation. I was so content sitting in the corner surrounded by some of the people I love the most in the world, my sister and brother in law, my brother in law and his beautiful girlfriend, and my best friend/sister and her amazing husband and last but certainly not least, the love of my life, the Big Guy! As you can see from the picture above, I could not stop smiling all night long. I didn’t even care that I was turning 30 ( for the 8th time). I was in the moment and drinking it all in.

Dinner was followed by dancing at a Latin themed bar. By this time, we are all feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that my feet were not even bothering me from wearing the 5 inch hooker heels for 5 hours at that point which I found to be a bit peculiar. I went with it. It felt amazing for 1 night to be looked at like I was a woman having a birthday, not a Mommy taxing children to and fro. Of course, you can take the Mommy out of the house but you can’t take the Mommy out of the woman. This became painfully aware while the girls and I were shaking our asses on the dance floor. There were 2 girls, probably about 21, dancing behind me and they kept bumping into me. At first, I ignored it. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. And what was my reaction? Imagine if you will, me 5’7″ ( without heels on) wearing those 5 inch hooker heels..towering above these girls at a whopping 6 foot tall. They were maybe 5’1″. I swiftly turn around, after being knocked almost off my feet for the 10th time..I bend down, pointing my finger and said, “Hey! You girls have got to stop this. You are going to knock someone down!” They said ,”OK, we’re sorry.” They looked completely shocked and that’s when I realized…I just scolded them on the dance floor. You know, like I would do a 3 and 5 year old. They stopped bumping into me, but they were giggling..probably because they thought I was crazy! Funny how if I would have been their age, I would have turned around and said “Look Bitch, stop bumping into me or I’m going to beat your ass!” Funny how being a mother changes you in the most unexpected ways. That and the fact that I’m pretty sure I would have fallen and killed myself had I gotten into a tussle in those shoes:)LOL

The night started to wind down, by this point the top of my foot had been hyper-extended due to an inordinate amount of time in the hooker heels ( which I absolutely adore by the way and will wear at any chance possible) but obviously my foot was remembering that I was not 21 anymore. We were down to 4 troopers left. I was savoring every single moment of this night. Then it happened, you know that moment when you lose all of your good senses and you do that one last stupid thing. Well, I decided to cap off the evening, we all needed two last shots; 1 of tequila and a lemon drop. Talk about buyers remorse! So, we toast to my birthday and we head to the dance floor. Almost immediately, I realized the shots may have been too much. I felt discombobulated, people were moving in slow motion. Then the next thing I remember was standing in the rain, barefooted waiting as my brother in law tried desperately to hail a cab at around 2 in the morning.Flash forward, I remember hugging on to the toilet for dear life. Yes, very mature behavior for someone of my age. Right? The next thing I can logically recollect was waking up, feeling like I had eaten a bowl of cotton, and had a splitting headache.

I decided that I needed to try and get mobile as we had a drive home and checkout was noon. I sucked it up and headed for a shower, after making a pit stop at my best friend the toilet and puking up what can only be classified as pea green bile, I finally got in the shower to wash away the sins of the previous night. I was feeling a little better..refreshed. Then it happened, as I was brushing my teeth…I noticed something looked out of place. Remember in the Hangover when they wake up the next morning and the one guy is missing his tooth? Well, I wasn’t missing a tooth! But I do have a mysterious black eye! After much piecing together of the last hours of the night,the Big Guy and I came to the conclusion that while I was hugging the toilet, I must have began to doze and slipped and hit my head on the toilet rim. Classy, right? Probably explains some of the headache, as well.Thank God its just on the outside rim of my eye, so it looks like I have eye make up on.Imagine trying to explain that one at kindergarten pick up at the catholic school. There you have it, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the unabridged absolutely embarrassing truth. But what a night it was…to a night we’ll never forget! Or is it remember?

Stu: “Why can’t we remember a godd*** thing from last night?”
Phil: “Because we obviously had a great f***ing time.”
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Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge -Day 15 ~ Be honest with yourself
How did you do? Did you eliminate the lies from your life? I am trying to be honest with myself about who I am, where I want to go or not go back to in life, what I want to be and do. There’s a lot of years of expectation and routine that need to be sorted through. It’s like peeling an onion and only by sorting through and crying a little will I find the me inside.

Today’s Be A Better Me Challenge- Day 16 ~ Relinquish the Mommy Guilt probably should have been day 1 challenge. After all, isn’t his a big part of what holds us back in living out loud? What version of ourselves would we be if there were no such thing as Mommy Guilt? Would we be less of a parent? Less of a good person? Or would we be the same, minus the crappy guilt side effect? How can we be our best “Me” if we are living by some one else’s standards? I’m here to tell you that guilt is a non beneficial, if not useless emotion. It’s like holding a grudge, all it does is expends energy that you could be using to enjoy your life rather than wallowing in a mistake. Wouldn’t you be willing to overlook a friend’s mistake or error in judgment? So why cant we forgive ourselves? I , for one, don’t want to waste my life feeling guilty ( I know in some instances its inevitable). I’d much rather be living up to my own standards. Today, I want to move through my day like water not held back by the quicksand of guilt. Today, I challenge you to live your life and not look back at what you may have or have not done wrong! Enjoy your day! Enjoy your children! Be you, minus the guilt.Be free!

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Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 14 ~ Pursue your Passions with fervor
what can I say. I actually did make a concerted effort to get something accomplished yesterday. I got something written down and now I just have to get it edited today and submitted. It’s really an on going process for me. In order to pursue, I have to keep at it. It’s not a one day did and quit it sort of challenge.It’s a challenge that you have to wake up to everyday and make your bitch! You can’t accomplish anything if you don’t try. You never know where your hard work will lead but you know for certain if you don’t try, you absolutely won’t accomplish anything!

Today’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 15 ~Be Honest with yourself
That’s right, I said it. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we tell ourselves lies for so long that we start to believe the hype. Remember when you were “you” just “you” and not held to the standard of all the  titles you have since taken on? You had an idea of who and what you wanted your life to look like, right? I know I did. Mine doesn’t look much at all like what I had planned, with the exception of the girls and the Big Guy. In my plan, I had the fab career and then the husband and kids came naturally..later. There was actually no plan for the Big Guy and girls. I just knew it would happen. But, life had other plans and I met the boy before the career happened. I was head over heels and life happened. My career got pushed to the side because of moves for his job and then children. I kept telling myself that I would get back to law school. I kept telling everyone that. In the mean time, I went to grad school. While I was planning to get my derailed life back onto its planned tracks, I did a lot of accidental living. But I kept telling myself that I would get back to law school. Even though, as life was happening I was reassessing and I knew by about 3 years into the marriage that I didn’t want to do law school anymore. I actually had decided that I wanted to be a SAHM until my girls were older. The career I had wanted would have included a lot of traveling and long hours and I knew , in my  heart, that I wanted more time with my family.But I refused to let go of the plan because if I did, to me, that was admitting defeat. It was a loss of control and anyone who knows me, knows I am a control freak. I still toy with the idea of law school but why? My passion lies elsewhere. It lies in taking pen to paper, it lies in the creases of my Gabi’s smile, the sound of my Bella’s laugh, it resides in the fact that I am loved unconditionally. I guess I hate to admit that I am just like all those Mom’s of the 1950’s who seemed to be defined by their home and their children. But I am not defined by the fact that I am a Mommy. It is just one facet of who I am. Right now, it just has to be the part of me that takes priority. That is the truth. They won’t always be little and I won’t always be home all day. But by acknowledging that I no longer want to go to law school, I am freeing myself to move on to my plans of becoming the person I really want to become. Some of what I wanted in my plan for life, I still want. I just need to remember what they are and go for it. The journey may have changed paths but the destination is the same; happiness and fulfillment.
What lies are you telling yourself? Maybe yours isn’t about a goal or career choice, maybe its a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore ,never will again, or never has. Maybe you are telling yourself if you had the perfect wardrobe, house, car, husband, children, body, face, hair, friends, etc things would be perfect. Is it holding you back? Set yourself free and embrace who you are and where you want to go from this point on. Living in the past may be preventing you from having a magical and memorable future filled with happiness and success.

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Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge-Day 13 ~ Love yourself unconditionally
Let’s just say that it will be one that I will be working on for the rest of my life. It’s probably my biggest fault and I will have to work at it consciously and continuously. I am trying to change the way I think about myself. My head knows that I am capable and worthy of all that life has to offer,sometimes my vision gets clouded by all the minutia of the day. That is exactly why I am doing this challenge because I want to be able to accept and love myself unconditionally but I also want to be the best me that I can possibly be for myself and as an example for my girls. I don’t want them to think that once they become Mommies they have to relinquish who they are. How am I supposed to tell them that they can have it all, if I show them that they can’t?

Today’s Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge – Day 14 ~ Pursue your passions
Back on Be a Better Me Challenge – Day 2-Admit your goals 
I asked you all to admit, scream from the roof tops what your goals were in life. Tell anybody who will listen but no matter what you do, face up to them. Give them a fighting chance at coming to fruition. I hope you all did that. Now, today I want you to all do something to pursue that goal/dream. Mine is to be a published author. My blog is my portfolio. I started this blog to build my portfolio and to practice/ to pursue my life’s passion. I do it everyday. Everyday I feel like I  am actively working on my dream , rather than just sitting on my ass and waiting for it to find me. I am taking next steps to expand my portfolio. I’ll keep you posted. I don’t want to speak of it yet because I don’t want to jinx myself. But I feel it, good things are on the horizon. I have adopted the Failure is NOT an option attitude. I have always thought that I could do anything but then things like time, exhaustion, places to be, things to do became an obstacle. I have to keep my eyes on the end result. I’m not stopping until I reach my passion and exhaust all my potential. Basically, I’m putting my money where my mouth is and I am going to be published or bust! Hope you will join me in taking some step towards making your dream a reality. Even if it’s just a baby step, a step in the right direction is better than sitting on your ass and waiting for the world to bend to your will. You will feel so much better taking this stand to reclaim your passion in life. Be warned: In doing this, you may actually reclaim the you who is hibernating inside.Please link up and share your dream/passion and what steps you will make to pursue them.

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Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge -Day 12 ~ See yourself through your child’s eyes
 is not always easy, especially when I feel like a hot mess or am overwhelmed by it all. But if I listen to my children, somehow in their wisdom they see the me I am on the inside. The Me that I have always been and will always be..the beautiful Mess that is me. So, today I am embracing the Me that my girls see every time they look at their Mommy, its probably very much like the best versions of them that I see every time I lay eyes on their small little perfection. Hope you are embracing the awesome you that your children know you are; because I think kids have special powers they can see the real us….even if we forget what that person looks like.

Today’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge – Day 13~ Love yourself unconditionally. It’s exactly what it sounds like. We have to learn to stop putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to some kind of unrealistic standard..that doesn’t exist. We need to take yet another lesson from our kids and love ourselves the way they love us; the way we love them.  No one is perfect, that is a fact. What we must strive for is to be our best selves. I have always been my hardest critic. I’m too fat. My skin is flawed.I have too many freckles. I’m not tan enough. My hair is not perfect enough. My smile is not white enough. My clothes are not right. I should be doing more with my life. I don’t have a career worth mentioning. I am not a good enough daughter, sister, Mother, wife, friend. Its always something.  I always feel like I fall short.You know why? Because the standard is impossible. To meet the standard, every  waking would be needed to acquire the impossible dream there would be no time for real living..loving..laughing. My challenge for you is to love yourself, for who you are..not who you want to be. You deserve to be able to love yourself;no matter the size of your jeans, in spite of your imagined imperfections. You are more than you give yourself credit for. Would you not love your children because they weren’t perfect? Of course you would and so should you love yourself. You can never be your best you, if you don’t truly embrace the person you are now.

You are worthy of all that life has to offer. You just have to believe that yourself. That is the key to acquiring all that the world has to offer and to, more importantly, enjoying it! Now, tell me how you can make efforts to love yourself unconditionally. This will be the hardest one for me thus far. A little body dysmorphic disorder goes a long way. Please link up!

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