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The Man Cold Revealed

by Deborah Cruz

I don’t know about you but every time my husband gets a man cold, apparently it’s akin to having the Ebola virus. But when I get sick, it warrants nothing more than I drink some water, take an ibuprofen and rub some dirt on it. It baffles me. Do men really feel worse when they get sick? Is it a case of the bigger they are the harder they fall? Or is it that we have endured birth and in comparison nothing is really that bad? Or is the Man cold a myth? Just one more way in which we are held to a higher standard.

But today, I am experiencing what I imagine to be what a man cold feels like. That’s right folks, I have the first female “man cold”. The Mom cold, if you please. I feel like I am dying. Literally. Not metaphorically. Not for literary poignancy. I don’t actually have a man cold.My official diagnosis, acute sinusitis, double ear infection and bronchitis with a side of coughing fit induced stress incontinence.Oh and did I mention, just to add insult to injury I have hormonal headaches to accompany my monthly visitor. What’s next diarrhea? Oh wait, all the sinus drainage into my stomach has already taken care of that and for an added bonus…vomiting!

Aren’t you glad you stopped by today? IF this is what having a cold feels like for a man, then I take it all back.You are not a wimp. You don’t need to suck it up. You have every right to lie down on the couch in the fetal position and try not to die. I get it. Because this my friends is the nearest thing to death that I have ever felt. It’s worse than transition labor. It’s worse than periodontic surgery. It’s worse than pneumonia. Hell, it’s even worse than the vaginal tear I endured from my baby’s 15-inch head.So to all you men who have suffered through your man cold and lived to tell about it, I salute you.

Now, I will go back to the couch and assume the fetal position and die in peace. Oh, wait, no I won’t. I have kids to watch, butts to wipe, laundry to do, food to cook, a house to clean and a list of a multitude of other responsibilities because I’m not a man…I’m a mom and I’ve got to rub some dirt on it because there’s no one to make me chicken soup or take my temperature.Hell, I’ll probably have to drive myself to the hospital if worse comes to worse.Worse by far than the man cold, I have the mom cold!

*Sniff*cough*Sniff*sneeze*release a small amount of urine*swallow razor blades* vomit* cough*cough*grab my aching head* REPEAT

Have you ever had the luxury of a man cold or are you only allowed the occasional mom cold?

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susan 2011/06/21 - 5:51 pm

transatlantic sympathy (because we all know you ain’t gonna get much from the other side of the room…)
is it too early in the morning for whisky with a shot of lemon …:)

Truthful Mommy 2011/06/21 - 11:08 pm

thanks for the sympathy. I’d take the shot except for the fact that the combination of alcohol and sinusitis can result in my face quite literally exploding.:)LOL

XLMIC 2011/06/21 - 6:11 pm

You have surely seen the Man Cold video on youtube! You will laugh yourself WELL! Hope you are better soon 🙂

Truthful Mommy 2011/06/21 - 11:08 pm

I have not. But now I need to find it. Thanks for the well wishes!

KalleyC 2011/06/21 - 7:08 pm

Aww, so very sorry to hear about your mom cold–drink some water. Just kidding.

I really don’t know if men get it worse, I just think some of them are not used to being sick. I’ve just given up on lecture, and argue when my husband has been brought to knees because of a cold. Us moms just go through too much, and we never, ever get sick enough to need assistance {smirking to self}.

With that being said, hope you get the rest you need and get well soon.

Truthful Mommy 2011/06/21 - 11:11 pm

Meds are kicking in and looks like I may live to rant another day:)LOL

I should be resting right now, but I can’t sleep but the rest of the house is asleep, so at least I can lie here in quiet and that is something for a Mommy,right? It’s the little things!

Coolwhipmom 2011/06/21 - 9:00 pm

Pooor baby!!! That’s terrible. I wish I was there to watch your kiddos for you so you could lie down in peace and recover. To me, that’s the worst part about being sick when you’re a mom. You never get to take a sick day. Ever again. Sending lots of huggles and chicken soup. Love you, sweetie!

Truthful Mommy 2011/06/21 - 11:12 pm

Thanks mama. I’m starting to feel a little more human. Thank God! Thanks for the sweet thoughts.XO mama

Coolwhipmom 2011/06/21 - 9:02 pm

PS I don’t think that men actually get it worse, btw. I think they are just big babies. Or at least that’s what I think about MY husband. He’s such a stoic when anyone else is sick. But him? The world is ending.No really.

Truthful Mommy 2011/06/21 - 11:13 pm

Oh, I completely agree. I know they dont get sicker they are just bigger babies. But I think in their minds a cold is blown up the size of my triple diagnosis of death:)LOL

Jenni Chiu 2011/06/22 - 1:54 am

Oh no! Total suckage. Please feel better- rub some dirt on it, squeeze some lemon juice on it, pee on it- whatever we have to do because mommies have to fucking keep going!

PS- If I were closer, I would totally bring you soup.

Elizabeth Flora Ross 2011/06/22 - 8:00 am

Feel better soon, assuming you survive. 😉 Whenever my hubby is sick you’d think he was dying from the way he behaves. When I’m sick, I get nothing. Once when SB was a newborn I had a terrible cold and could not take anything b/c I was nursing. Hubby actually told me to, “Suck it up and deal, Mom!” How he is still alive is beyond me!

Take care of you!

Michelle (Addicted2Shius) 2011/06/22 - 12:34 pm

You’re killing me Larry!

A Mommy in the City 2011/06/22 - 3:42 pm

Oh no! Feel better soon!

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