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Eminem, The Storm, Marshall Mathers, BET Awards, Donald Trump

If We Do Not Recognize, We Cannot Heal

by Deborah Cruz

I’ve been having the most hopeless feeling since the election results came in. I’m in a state of profound mourning. I am grieving a loss, not of an election but an immeasurable loss of the promise of a better tomorrow. I’m trying to pull myself out from under the rubble of the darkness that is my collapsed hope and faith in humanity.

This is a scary situation to anyone who understands the gravity of it. It isn’t like during a normal election when both candidates are somewhat qualified and then we go from there. Donald Trump is just not qualified for the position. Money can’t buy you experience or expertise. He doesn’t have a clue how the system works and it’s to his and our detriment. This has nothing to do whether we like the man as a human being or not, he is simply not qualified and I can’t believe people chose to totally overlook that fact when voting. It amazes me.

It’s been a week but I can still barely bring myself to speak outside of my bubble inside my house, the one that knows my plight and my heart. I’ve only felt this vulnerable on one other occasion when I miscarried my third pregnancy and all the possibilities were stolen from me by nature. But this election wasn’t the result of a cruel twist of nature. It wasn’t beyond our control it was chosen by people who either refuse to know what terrible they’ve done, don’t believe it is as terrible as we say because it doesn’t affect them directly or worse, those who prefer to go backwards than to live in the light of a new world of endless possibilities built on hope and equality.

I’m exhausted and weary. I can barely muster the strength to defend my fight. The fight that I’ve fought all of my life but I will. I can already feel my senses creeping back in. My heart has been singing a lullaby of Make me an instrument of Your Peace and I’ve decided to have peace, I must fight, educate and not yell; though I want to scream at the top of my lungs in the face of this miscarriage of hope. But no one hears what you’re saying when you yell. They only hear the anger and the words fall on deaf ears. I need my words to be heard. We need to fight harder than ever but we need to take the high road.

Last week’s election has opened my eyes in a way that I didn’t even know that they needed to be opened. I know I’m marginalized. I face it every day as a woman and as a Latina. I’ve had to fight to be seen and heard for who I was since I was old enough to realize that I was only being seen for what I was.

Friends, I get that many of us are disheartened and feeling hopeless about the Trump win and subsequent appointment of Bannon. Some of us fought really hard over the last few months to get Hillary Clinton elected. Some of us have been fighting our entire lives to make America equal. It was so much more than just a hashtag for us. It was a movement and a promise of a better way of life; an easier life. A life where we were not judged on the color of our skin, our religion, our sex or sexual preference but measured by our merit as people. What a beautiful dream it was.

I feel your sadness, your frustration, and your anger. It is natural to want to strike out when faced with such dismal prospects but this fervor to right all the wrongs, I wish it would have shown up before the election. But the PC veil has been torn down and now, none of us can unsee the hatred that is staring us directly in the face and screaming slurs at us.

The most frightening thing for women, disabled Americans, minorities, people of the Jewish faith, Muslims and people in the LGBTQ community is that Trump built his campaign by promising those alt-right “Make America White again” people that he’d let them have that and they are coming to collect. They took it as permission to hate out loud. I’m not even sure if he believed all the stuff he said but he has opened a can of worms that he can’t close and the fallout has already begun all over the country.

People are going to get hurt and those of us who are marginalized are going to suffer the worst. His rhetoric and this campaign have set our country back 100 years. I just hope we can survive it without a civil war that destroys us altogether.

I don’t have an answer as to how we get through this. I feel like so many of us are in jeopardy and danger under this new regime. I won’t lie, I’m in fear for the safety of our country from threats abroad and within. I’m mad that someone who had no qualifications and no experience and ran on a platform of crazy and hatred is what so many American’s craved in a leader, so much so that they ignored his lack of being able to actually get the job done.

I’m all for making an informed decision and choosing a candidate whose ideology lines up closest to your own. I believe in the right to choose whoever fits best for the America you want. That being said, I completely hold accountable those who put their blinders on to convince themselves that their own welfare outweighed that of the nation. They may not have all voted with hatred in their heart but there certainly was no compassion or care for those of us who would be affected directly by this outcome.

I want to believe that voters didn’t do enough research into Trump as a candidate and didn’t fully realize the ramifications of giving him the presidency. None of us will survive this term unscathed. Our country, our very way of life, will be changed for the worse.

Peacefully protesting to let the world know that Donald Trump is #NotMyPresident is a great way to show that we don’t support the Trump presidency but unfortunately, he is our president and we are vulnerable because of it. Contacting your representatives to make your voices heard is a step in letting them know that you hold them accountable, even though realistically it probably won’t change anything this election. Crossing your fingers and hoping that Hillary Clinton gets the presidency because of rogue electoral votes is probably not going to happen. We need to face that reality.

We need to have a new plan. Shit didn’t turn out the way we hoped or planned but seldom do they. The marginalized of us are used to disappointment. We’ve been training for this outcome our entire lives but we hoped for better. Our fatal mistake was believing we’d won the race before we actually had. We got complacent.

We have to change our plan of action. We don’t have Hillary to help us. We need to be stronger, fiercer, fight harder and never give up. We need to work for good, to defend our rights. We have to fight tooth and nail to protect our children from the fallout. And make no mistake, this presidency is not just bad for those of us who identify as marginalized. Sure, it may seem that way at the onset but it’s bad for all Americans because a country guided by a leader who has no clear direction of how to get where he’s going is a vulnerable country that will find itself in turmoil.

I ask that you all educate yourselves, your friends and your children (anyone who will listen) on our political system and the election process and government in general so that in the next election, in 2 years, good people can make good, informed decisions. This is the beginning of our revolution. History is happening right now.

We can’t let this stand but we have to use our words. We have to make them listen. We have to organize and mobilize. We have to use our minds and our voices. We have to get our shit together and stop crying and start doing and that is where I am this morning.

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5 comments

Nancy Hill 2016/11/17 - 1:47 pm

I’m with you. Floating in what is probably best described as the first few days after Fascist take-over of American government.

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