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As many of you are aware, I recently discovered I’m not a scatterbrained mom – I’m a full-fledged, card-carrying member of the ADHD club- neuro spicy women’s chapter. And let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride of self-discovery. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your constant forgetfulness is just “mom brain” or something more, you’re in the right place. We’re about to dive into the wonderfully chaotic world of adult ADHD, and trust me, it’s more common than you might think. But how to know if you have ADHD or mommy brain?
The ADHD Revelation: It’s Not Just for Kids
Here’s the thing: ADHD doesn’t care about your age, your gender, or how many tiny humans you’re responsible for. In fact, many women don’t get diagnosed until adulthood, often after becoming moms. Why? Because we’re masters of masking our symptoms, and society has conditioned us to believe that being scattered and overwhelmed is just part of the mom gig.
But let me tell you, there’s a difference between normal mom stress and ADHD. So, let’s break down some signs that your brain might be more “ADHD” than just “mom tired.”
How to Know if you have ADHD
Sign #1: Your To-Do List is More Like a Wish List
You know that to-do list you made with the best intentions? The one that’s now buried under a pile of unfolded laundry and half-eaten goldfish crackers? If your to-do list feels more like a mockery of your productivity than an actual plan, you might be dealing with ADHD.
ADHD brains struggle with executive function, which is fancy science talk for “getting stuff done.” We have trouble prioritizing tasks (everything is equally urgent to us), managing time (we easily go down rabbit holes and get time blindness), and staying focused ( it’s not that we’re not focused, it’s that we are focused on several things all at the same time so nothing gets our full attention). It’s not that we don’t want to be productive; our brains just have a different operating system. So while neurotypical moms might forget to buy milk occasionally, ADHD moms might forget they have kids. (Kidding! …mostly.)
Sign #2: You’re the Queen of “Ooh, Shiny!”
Does your attention span resemble that of a goldfish on espresso? Do you start cleaning the kitchen, then suddenly find yourself reorganizing your sock drawer, only to end up googling “Do penguins have knees?” three hours later? Congratulations, you might be experiencing the joy of ADHD-induced distractibility!
Our ADHD brains are like channel-surfing toddlers with the remote control. Everything is urgent and there are so many thoughts to be had. How can we be expected to just choose one? We jump from task to task, idea to idea, faster than you can say “Oh look, a squirrel!” It’s not that we don’t want to focus; our brains just have other plans. It’s not a lack of interest or motivation; it’s just how our brains are wired.
Sign #3: Emotional Rollercoaster? More Like Emotional Tilt-a-Whirl
If your emotions change faster than your toddler’s favorite color, you might be experiencing what the ADHD world calls “emotional dysregulation.” One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re crying because you can’t find matching socks. (Pro tip: mismatched socks are a fashion statement. You’re welcome.) Also, in retrospect, it is no wonder they first misdiagnosed me with Bipolar. The emotional dysregulation is hard core.
ADHD brains feel emotions more intensely and have trouble regulating them. It’s like having an emotional volume knob stuck on maximum.This isn’t just mood swings; it’s a core feature of ADHD that can make everyday life feel like an emotional obstacle course. So if you find yourself going from zero to “Hulk smash” in 2.5 seconds, it might not just be sleep deprivation talking.
Sign #4: You’re a World-Class Procrastinator (But Also a Last-Minute Superhero)
Do you put off tasks until the absolute last minute, then suddenly transform into a productivity goddess fueled by panic and caffeine? This is the ADHD procrastination-hyperfocus cycle in action.
ADHD brains often need that adrenaline rush of a looming deadline to kick into high gear. We’re like productivity werewolves – dormant until the full moon of impending doom rises, then BAM! Suddenly we’re cranking out work like nobody’s business. It’s not laziness; it’s a quirk of our neurochemistry. The downside? This cycle can be incredibly stressful and hard on our mental health.
Sign #5: Your Memory is Like a Sieve (But Only for Boring Stuff)
Can’t remember where you put your keys, but can recite every line from that one episode of Friends you saw 15 years ago? That’s ADHD memory for you! Our brains are great at remembering things we find interesting or emotionally significant, but terrible at recalling mundane details.
So while you might forget to pick up your kid from soccer practice (hypothetically speaking, of course), you can probably remember every detail of that embarrassing thing you did in third grade. Thanks, brain! This isn’t just forgetfulness; it’s a reflection of how ADHD brains process and prioritize information. It can be frustrating, but it’s also why many people with ADHD excel in creative fields or become walking encyclopedias on their favorite topics.
Sign #6: You’re the Master of Lost Things
If your house resembles a black hole where objects mysteriously disappear, never to be seen again, you might be dealing with ADHD. We have a special talent for putting things in “safe places” that are so safe, even we can’t find them again. This isn’t just clumsiness or carelessness; it’s a result of inattention and difficulty with working memory. It can be maddening, but it’s a common ADHD trait.
Pro tip: If you ever need to find something important, just sit down to do another task or back track ( you will surely stumble back onto the thought that led you down the path where you misplaced that important thing). Guaranteed, the lost item will magically appear the moment you’re too busy to deal with it.
So, What Now?
The Road to Diagnosis and Beyond
Now that you can recognize these symptoms in. yourself, you can start to differentiate whether you have ADHD or “mom brain”. If you’re nodding along to these signs, thinking, “Oh my god, this is me!” don’t panic. Here’s what you can do:
- Get evaluated: Find a professional who specializes in adult ADHD. The evaluation process can be long and detailed, but it’s worth it. Knowledge is power, and understanding your brain is the first step to working with it instead of against it.
- Embrace your ADHD traits: Sure, ADHD can be challenging, but it also comes with some pretty awesome characteristics. Creativity, resilience, the ability to hyperfocus on things we love – these can be our secret weapons when properly channeled.
- Find your tribe: Connect with other ADHD moms. There’s nothing quite like the relief of realizing you’re not alone in this wild ride. Online communities, support groups, or even just talking to friends can be incredibly validating and helpful.
- Develop coping strategies: Whether it’s setting a million reminders on your phone, using color-coded systems, or breaking tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, find what works for you. ADHD management is all about playing to your strengths and working around your challenges.
- Be kind to yourself: Remember, your ADHD brain isn’t a defect; it’s just differently wired. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show a friend. Negative self-talk only makes things harder.
Living with ADHD as a mom isn’t always easy, but it can be an adventure. It’s about learning to work with your brain instead of constantly fighting against it. So the next time you find yourself standing in a room wondering why you’re there, or starting yet another project at midnight, just remember: your brain might be chaos, but it’s beautiful chaos.
And let’s be real – our ADHD quirks often make us the fun, spontaneous, creative moms who come up with the wildest ideas for family adventures. And hey, if nothing else, at least you’ll always be the fun mom who comes up with the craziest ideas for family game night. Silver linings, right?
My ADHD diagnosis was both a shock and a relief. It explained so much about my life, my struggles, and my strengths. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, frustration, and ultimately, acceptance. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade my ADHD brain for anything.
So, if you’re suspecting you might have ADHD, don’t be afraid to seek answers. Understanding your brain is the first step to embracing your unique, beautiful, chaotic self. And remember, whether you have ADHD or not, you’re doing an amazing job, mama. Stay fabulous!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find my keys. Or my phone. Or my sanity. Whichever I come across first.
