Category:

Little Kids

 I saw this on CNN  ( obviously, my new favorite online hot spot  as you can plainly see from my recent posts. I may have a slight CNN addiction. Is there a group for this? A 12 step program?) and I was torn.

https://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=world/2010/05/26/ctw.damon.indo.kids.sex.ed.cnn
CNN* Please stop making the video unavailable! How are my readers supposed to watch this video if you keep removing it?

First I was taken aback. The sheer sight of these little kids ( because I have a little girl going into Kindergarten next year) playing with these anatomically correct dolls filled me with conflict. On one side, I do not believe in  bull shitting my kids but I think there is a time and place for everything. I think children become curious at different points and are also all ready at different times to know the facts.   From the beginning, my girls have known the anatomically correct names of their genitalia and they know that boys have a penis ( “peanut” as Gabs likes to refer to it as).Bella once asked me how we got her sister out of my belly. I was stumped. I fumbled, but I couldn’t lie because I don’t want to do that with my girls. So, I nonchalantly said she came out of me. Bella: How? ( I’m pretty sure she was going to look for a door or something) Me: She came out through my vagina. Bella: Oh! OK. ( I’m  sure she didn’t completely understand the logistics of it all but she had an answer and that’s all she wanted.) She never asked again and she commenced with playing dress up with her baby dolls. I’m sure that’s not how some people would handle it but it was the best I could do. I wasn’t prepared. She was 3. I talk to my girls about not letting people touch them in their private places, or really anywhere. People need their private space, no one should be in that space unless invited in.  But when I saw this video, though I am straight forward with my kids do I want a teacher handing out dolls with pubic hair and anatomically correct genitalia? I mean, did you see the little girl pushing the baby back up into the dolls uterus? Of course that could have been a useful tool with my conversation with Bella a couple years back. Then you think, well, this is on the other side of he world maybe they need it over there. No danger of my girls meeting the anatomically correct twins anytime soon.
Then I came across this….

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwNV069wLGU]

Ahh, remember the good old days when you hit 5th grade someone slipped you a pamphlet , scared you shitless with a movie, and gave you a little baggie with some “PADS” in it to take home? Of course, that was as far as it went..my parents didn’t tell me bupkis other than if I did “IT” ( whatever the hell that meant), I’d be shipped off to live with my mean Grandma in Mexico…that is, once they were done beating my ass. Yeah, never really saw the draw in that plus I surely didn’t want to end up living with my mean Grandma in a third world country! The consequences far outweighed the benefits. I guess gone are the days when you could take your kid to the gynecologist and make them believe that every time they had sex they would have to have a pap? True story…I know a woman who did that to her daughter. Sounds cruel…but it would’ve worked on me!Well, I should be in no danger of Bella getting “the dolls” next year, she’s going to Catholic school. I think the closest they get to sex ed is the issuance of the chastity belts at orientation!Basically, I am still torn on the subject….even after talking it out with all of you.What are your thoughts?

Oh Craptastic! I just realized Gabs is 3 now. Hey, wonder where I can get my hands on one of those dolls![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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Bella: “When I get older..I’m going to punch all of my dolls in the face!”
Me: “Why?”
Bella: “Umm..They give me the CREEPS! And take that Madagaascar movie out too. The Lemurs freak me out too!”
Yes, Money well spent! Now,  I must go convert my Febreeze Chicken Spray ( you know to eliminate Chickens that hide under little girls beds at night) into Lemur Spray! Oh, the humanity! I refuse to spray down the FAO collectible dolls. She may be on her own there. I could hide them somewhere in a closet. But what the hell will that do to her psyche if she unsuspectingly stumbles onto that craziness. I guess if I were 5 years old lying in bed and all these dolls were eyeballing me..I’d be a little freaked out too. Maybe…

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Just wondering, is there such a thing? I know yesterday was April 20th and tomorrow is Earth Day, but did I miss the memo that today was national Urination Day? I woke this morning to the sound of four little scampering feet climbing out of bed and making their way to the bathroom.( yes, we are all sleeping in my king sized bed while Daddy is out of town. Don’t judge me. I tried to keep them in their beds, it was a battle that I lost. At least if I let them in my bed,they are not waking up 20 times a night coming to get me.A Mommy needs some sleep.) Awww, how sweet I thought. One laid there quietly waiting in the bed until her sister woke up, then they both  went to potty together. About a minute into my ‘awww” the door flies open and the littler of the two screams, “Mommy, come hE-ya! Bella need you…NOW!” I figure its butt wiping time. I walk into the bathroom and step into a puddle of urine. I look up and see my 5 year old, cringing ,”Mommy, I’m sorry. I couldn’t make it.” Me: “What happened?” I am completely confused…she doesn’t pee on the floor. Then  I look on the floor and see a dry diaper in the pee puddle. Now, I am really bewildered. Gabs: “Me had to pee pee!” Bella: ” She jumped on and wouldn’t let me go.” Me: “Gabs, you had on a diaper. Bella did not. Next time, the little girl without the diaper on…goes first.OK?” Both in unison: “OK, sorry (SA- WEE). WE won’t” So, here I stand at 7:30 in the morning, unsuspectingly standing in urine. After a few minutes of toweling the mess up, changing Bella, and Swiffering the site of ‘the accident’, I decide to return all cleaning materials and soiled clothing to the laundry room. As I am making my way through the house, I step in a wet spot. Seriously? WTH? Yeah, seems my dog had the same idea as my little girls. It was a  pissing free for all. Thank God the cleaning chemicals and tools were already out. What a beautiful day; the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sky is blue and the scent of piss is permeating my nostrils. I would have preferred coffee or bacon but hey, you take what you get. Time to get that Bissell cleaner out! Hope this isn’t setting the tone for the rest of the day? Yikes!

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