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Happy New Year, New Year Resolutions, Easy Resolutions, Celebrate 2020

Every year at this time, I feel a wave of panic wash over me as an urgent impending need to accomplish all of the goals I set for myself last New Year’s eve. Every new year is a new opportunity for a new beginning or in some cases, another year to disappoint myself and feel like a failure but not this year. This year is the year of easy New Year resolutions to help you live your best life or as I like to call it, Wednesday.

For the first time in my adult life, here we are on the dawn of a new day, new year, new decade and I feel no regrets. I feel no sense of urgency to rush to change because I’ve spent the last few months focusing on reaching my goals (well, a set of goals). Today, tomorrow and the next day after that are just another day because that’s how I’m choosing to see them. Every day is just another day but it’s also the opportunity for a fresh start. Every single day. 365 days a year.

What is a New Year’s resolution anyways?

A New Year’s resolution is a tradition, common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.

All of this is based on the premise that we find fault and imperfection in ourselves. We do. I can honestly say, I don’t know (nor have I ever known) a single grown woman who is 100% happy with her body or herself. It’s a sad statistic. I used to think it was just me but this year, I realized my unhappiness with myself stemmed not from imperfection but from the state of being fallible and doing nothing to better myself. I only feel like a failure when I’m not trying. As I believe there is no try only do, I feel like a failure when I’m not doing things to bring me closer to who I want to be.

READ ALSO: Resolving to Incite a Revolution

This year, when I was thinking of my word of the year and making my vision board (because goals without words are nothing but wishes) I decided that my main goal for 2020 is to live a life with purpose and intention. I want to find the courage and strength to pursue peace and success. I want to be able to confidently walk away from things and people who don’t work anymore with no regrets. I want to be okay with choosing me, no guilt attached.

These are more like habits I’m trying to grow than resolutions but for the purpose of the New Year, let’s call them New Year resolutions. Here are a few good choices to get you to a better life and your best self.

Easy New Year Resolutions to help you Live Your Best Life

Purge

Don’t Marie Kondo your house. That will only make a bigger mess. But clutter and mess cause a stressed mind and body. Take a deep breath, break big projects into smaller (more digestible) projects. If something no longer has a purpose in your life, get rid of it.

READ ALSO: Is the Marie Kondo Method for You?

Organization

It’s crazy how organization can give peace. A peace that you didn’t even know that you needed. Things need a place so that you can easily access them when you need them but don’t trip over them and frustrate yourself when you don’t. It’s that simple. I don’t know about you but piles of unfolded laundry make me nervous. Things without a place, just hanging out, stress me out. I don’t want to give those things space in my head in 2020. I want them to fade into the background so I can focus more clearly on the people and things that are important.

Be Intentional

Many of us live our lives unintentionally. We get swept up in what’s going on at the moment and we mindlessly move through the world. I know I do. My life, especially after having kids, became a series of putting out fires while I tried to keep my life on track. It doesn’t work. Distracted living isn’t living at all. It’s getting by and I (you) deserve more than just getting by. I pause and ask myself, is it worth it? The hard work, the loss, the gain, the calories, the time, the space? Is it worth it to me? If it’s not, I’m passing it up and walking away. Priorities matter.

Let it go

This is a hard one for me. I’m a hoarder at heart. I grew up with not a lot and it’s hard for me to get rid of things that are still in good condition, which includes people. I try to repurpose and find occasion. The result is a house full of clutter and a life full of stuff that I don’t need or worse, don’t serve a purpose. Sometimes the only purpose a thing needs to serve is joy. If it brings you happiness, it has a purpose. It doesn’t have to make sense. But if it doesn’t have any purpose, let it go. You don’t have to throw it out. I’m big on not being wasteful but pass it on. Donate it to someone who can use it. Let it serve its purpose and lighten your own load. Don’t think of it as gone, think of it as getting a second chance at a new life.

Move Your Body

I ignored this one for so many years. I have a bit of an addictive personality. I go all in or not at all. Or at least I used to. I’m trying to learn moderation and forgiveness for others and for myself. I know that saying that you’re going to start working out can feel overwhelming, especially as busy as we all are these days. And saying that you’re going to lose 20 pounds can feel daunting and burdensome, maybe even insurmountable. Then we just say bump it and give up. Well, that’s what I did, many times for many years.

READ ALSO: How I Reversed My Diabetes in 3 months.

I was either starving myself and obsessively working out or I was sitting on the couch, mindlessly snacking and binge-watching Netflix. There has to be a middle ground. Start with small goals. A 15-minute walk at lunch. Take the stairs. Drink your 64 ounces of water. Take your vitamins. One tiny goal at a time will put you on the path to where you want to be. Do not give yourself a deadline to get healthy because it’s a journey and a lifestyle not a destination. If you miss a day or eat the pizza/chocolate/cocktail so what? It’s ok. It’s just one day. As long as it’s the treat and not the norm, you’re fine. Move along.

Travel

The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to travel. It’s something that I’ve done since I was a child. My parents did it for us because we didn’t live by our grandparents and, in fact, my dad’s parents lived in another country. It was the best gift they could have ever given us. It made us compassionate, tolerant, inquisitive and instilled into our very soul, wanderlust. It was the catalyst for me to learn 4 languages. My greatest joy is sharing travel with my husband and our girls. Seeing the world through their eyes is priceless. Travel is worth more than any “thing” money can buy.

Read More

Remember those priorities I was referring to earlier? I’ve let reading fall off my list time and time again, and I love to read. I am a bibliophile at heart. But at the end of the day, it’s a luxury I can’t afford. But can’t I? I spend hours a day on social media? Why can’t I reclaim an hour a day back for reading and self-reflection? I can. You can too. Reading is knowledge and wisdom and can we really afford to stop learning in a world that is constantly changing? No. Reading helps us to better ourselves and build our brain muscles. It helps us to have more varied vocabularies and to become better versions of ourselves through understanding and knowledge. The question is, can we afford not to read?

Do it scared

Stop waiting for the perfect conditions. If you want to try something, do something new or change your direction in life, just do it. Of course, you’re scared. Anything worth doing will be scary at first. But as you shift onto your new path, you will get comfortable. Put your goals into the universe and follow it up with actions. Surround yourself with people who want the best for you and will support you when you try new things. Do it scared and you will achieve your dreams but don’t try at all and nothing will change.

Relax

It’s so much easier said than done. I’ve always been a bit hyper and manic. I stress a lot. It’s my state of being if we’re being honest. Or it was. Even when I’m sitting still, my brain is flexing in so many different directions. My brain likes to show off and do 23 hours a day squats. Do you know what that makes me? Tired. Downright exhausted and when you’re exhausted you get frustrated and you might be doing squats but you’re half-assing them and the effects are not what you want. Eventually, you and your lopsided ass just give up. So stop. Stop what you’re doing and breathe. Relax. Meditate. Reset. Refuel your soul. Restart.

Make time for “Me” Time

Me time might not always look like a massage and facial. Sometimes “me” time is driving to the grocery store for formula at 11 p.m by yourself with the windows down, blasting Pitbull and singing at the top of your lungs. Me time is about doing what you want, what you need to reboot. Especially as moms, we give out pieces of ourselves all day long until there is nothing left for us. There has to be something left for you. If there is no you, there is nothing for you to give to others. I’m not talking about living to serve others, I’m talking about being alive enough to share your own special gifts. We are all special and worth it. We all bring something unique to the world. We are all here for a purpose. You might be everything to someone but you first need to be everything to you. Put you first in whatever tiny or big way you need to. Don’t fade into the background of your own life.

Don’t care what others think

I’ve never really struggled with this one, at least not outwardly. I come from a big family and it serves you best not to worry about what other’s opinions are of you unless you want to be a useless puddle of snot and tears on the floor. I do struggle with measuring myself up to other’s success but I am working on that. But as far as other people’s opinions (other than my parents and my children), they mean little to nothing to me.

READ ALSO: The Moment I stopped Caring what Other People Thought of me

Life is too short to live by someone else’s expectations and rules. You do you and I’ll do me. As long as were not hurting one another, we’re all good. My fashion choices, religious or political beliefs, parenting philosophy and the way I choose to spend my money should have no bearing on anyone else’s life and vice versa. So I wear the bikini, I am tolerant of everyone, I support my friends and family in their pursuit of happiness even if it’s not mine and dance like no one is watching, and even if they are, I don’t care. I’ll invite you to dance with me. Live in the moments because this is the life that you will look back on. Live it on your terms and be happy.

Forgiveness

This is the big one. Practice forgiveness of others and most importantly of yourself. It will be the best thing you ever do for you and your mental health. Love others and yourself for all that you are not for who you think you should be or want to be in a year. Love yourself and others for who they are right now, in this moment.

Wishing you all a very happy new year filled with lots of love, laughter, good health, fruitful endeavors, happiness, and travel. Forgive yourself often. Be patient with yourself and pursue your dreams; life’s too short not to.

Me, I’ll be pursuing some dreams, making some changes and sharing some truth we can all relate to on here ( 3-5 times a week; stay tuned.)  You can subscribe to get your weekly newsletter and everything in one place, directly to your inbox. Never miss a thing.

Please come back and follow along.  On InstaStories ( for my daily #journeytome),  TikTok for some silly, Twitter for some conversation, Facebook for great parenting information and conversation and Pinterest for all the beautiful things.

 

 

 

 

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Telic Après Ski recovery boots

I’m fairly new to this all year workout stuff. I’ve never been one to work out and walk 5Ks every day just because. I was about as fair-weathered a workout friend as you could find. I loved working out. Cardio was my jam but only when it was convenient. I wasn’t about that walking in 110 degrees with 100% humidity. And I sure as shit wasn’t running in 20-degree weather but here we are. If I’m going to do it, I’d like to be able to do it the best way possible. Enter Telic Après Ski recovery boots, the one thing I never knew, I always needed. Look at me, learning all the new things about myself.

Disclosure: I gifted a pair of Telic Après Ski recovery boots to experience them for myself but all opinions are my own.

I’ve had to do some pretty substantial research and I’ve learned some hard lessons along the way. For instance, I learned that I am allergic to the sun this summer. Yep. This means that I need to wear SPF at all times or a rash guard or I break out in a crazy rash all over my exposed body. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever knew. I’ve also learned that fleece-lined running pants are my friend and all fleece-lined pants are not created equal. I also learned that yes, that very expensive North Face jacket and those $200 running shoes are absolutely worth the money. Guess what else I learned?

READ ALSO: Ways to Work Out When You Don’t Have Time to Hit the Gym

I learned about a thing called sports recovery boots. Sounds made up, right? I thought so too but hey, I love cute shoes and I was sold. When I think of after sports shoes, I think of the Adidas soccer slides we all wore back in the day after soccer games. But those are not the sports recovery shoes that I am referring to in this post.

Recently, I was gifted a pair of Telic Après Ski sports recovery boots. When I saw them, I thought they were super cute and what could it hurt to try them out. They came on Saturday night. We’d just spent 7 days walking 20000 steps daily around Walt Disney World. My feet were sore and in desperate need of some relief.

Telic Après Ski recovery boots

Since breaking my leg, most of my day’s end with a limp. I work with preschoolers all day and they like to pull and climb on you so it’s inevitable that my legs are sore each night. Today, I wore my Telic Après Ski recovery boots to work (I told you they were cute) and for the first time in 4 years, I was not limping at the end of the day. It was kind of a big deal for me.

READ ALSO: How I Broke My Leg in the Middle of My Sister’s Wedding

I wish I could say that I was exaggerating and every night I don’t walk like a pirate but it’s all true. Every night since September 2015, I’ve walked like a pirate. It’s my new normal. But not tonight and if I’m being honest, I almost cried because I was so happy. I never thought any shoes, other than a pair of Louboutin’s, could make me weep with joy but these comfortable, beautiful recovery boots did.

Let me tell you about the Après Ski recovery boot. Firstly, it’s not just for after you ski, as the name would imply. It’s for after any sport. If we’re being really honest, it’s pretty great for everyday wear.

Telic Après Ski recovery boots

Telic is known for its award-winning comfort. The Après Ski recovery boot is also:

  • Insulated & Water Resistant
  • Traction Control Out-sole
  • Pillow-Soft Comfort
  • Lightweight Stability
  • Athlete Approved
  • Dr. Recommended

100% all true and I can attest to it because I’ve worn them every day since I got them, in the mornings after working out during drop off but not until today did I wear them for my entire work day and they impressed me. Actually, they blew my mind. I don’t know that I really believed anything could really work, especially with my foot and leg issues from the break but these did.

READ ALSO: Never Ask a Disabled Person if They’ll Return to Normal

You can enjoy Telic’s award-winning comfort year-round. They are designed to be worn by athletes to help relax and rejuvenate after training and competition, this recovery series incorporates Telic’s Novlaon Footstrike Technology and offers a soft supportive comfortable fit and feel for year-round Telic comfort.

What does that mean for you?

It means that this really cute pair of boots are comfortable and really do help you recover. TO be honest, the fact that my leg didn’t hurt after work today is enough to convince me to wear these shoes every day of the year but in addition to that, I got so many compliments on the look of the shoe. If I had my way, I’d gift a pair to every teacher in my school because they are absolutely that cute and comfortable.

If you’re an athlete looking for a fantastic recovery shoe or someone who spends long hours on their feet and needs extreme comfort without sacrificing fashion, I would strongly suggest giving Telic’s Apres Ski recovery boots a try for yourself.  FYI, it also comes in a recovery shoe if boots are not your jam. Those are next on my list.

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ways to work out when you don't have time to hit the gym

Recently, right before my Disney vacation last week, I hit my 200th day of working out. To celebrate, obviously, I went to Disney World. That’s what athletes do to celebrate, right? Unfortunately for me, I had the best vacation ever and ate all the food on the free dining plan and came home, 7 pounds heavier, despite walking 20000 steps every single day. I know most of it is water weight from the change in diet but still, I need to figure out ways to work out when I don’t have time to hit the gym.

Old Debi would be freaking the freak out right about now. New Debi, well, I may or may not be eating my smuggled Biscoff cookies from my flight this past weekend with a hot chai tea. The thing that I’ve learned on this weight loss/ get healthy journey is that it is a journey, not a race. Being 50 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year is a huge accomplishment and I am not going to let vacationing in the real world, derail 6 months of hard work and exercise. I’m going to get over it and learn from it.

READ ALSO: How a Simple Trip to the Doctor Could Have Saved my Life

Hey, I enjoyed my vacation. I was mindful of my carbs (because I’m diabetic and I have to be) but I still ate and drank around the world. I had cocktails with meals and dessert. I don’t feel guilty about it. Guilt is a useless emotion. I feel human about it. I enjoyed the food and the drinks and now, I’ll just get right back to it. The thing is when you are out of your routine, sometimes it is hard to find the time and place to exercise and that’s why this post is so important to me because I feel like this is a universal problem for most people.

In honor of my 200th workout, I’m going to give you some pointers for ways to work out when you don’t have time to hit the gym.

A crucial part of the journey is the scenery, enjoying life on the way. I’ll be honest, working out can be boring. It can be painful and it’s hard to maintain enthusiasm when you are a grown-ass person trying to work, take care of kids, keep a house clean, a dog alive and a marriage functioning.

Sometimes you need to flip the script and do something else. Exercise comes in all shapes, sizes and in the most unexpected places so don’t give up. Set your apple watch to “other” and do you, boo! You’ll be surprised how many calories you burn and steps you take doing “other.”

Ways to Work Out When You Don’t Have Time to Hit the Gym

Walk around the neighborhood

I know this one sounds almost too simple. My mom suggested this to me when I first found out that I had diabetes. Obviously, because I am still a teen when it comes to my mom, I poo pooed her. Like I legit, was like yeah right mom. 50 pounds later, I am woman enough to admit, my mom was right. There I said it. And for as simple (almost childish as it sounds), it is my favorite part of the day. Every morning, I get outside and get some fresh air and see the beauty in the world. It also gives me time to clear my mind and get in tune with my body. It also reminds me every day just how much I love my mama.

BBG or any home video or YouTube workout

I’ve worked out at home for years. When I was in middle school, my bestie’s mom introduced her to Jane Fonda step aerobics and we were fans. Since then, I’ve done lots of home workouts from Zumba to Tae Bo and Turbo Jam. More recently, I’ve been addicted to Beach Body’s CIZE and BBG and there are a plethora of workouts on Youtube. My point is that it’s not so much how you choose to move your body as it is that you choose to move your body.

Window shop with your teen

Remember when I was telling you about the walking around my neighborhood trails and how well that works? Well, walking around the mall with your teen, window shopping burns just as many calories and on top of that, you get bonding time with your teen. Don’t overthink it. And believe me, it is much easier to get your teenager to accompany you to the mall than it is to get up early on a weekend morning to take a nature hike with you. Hell could freeze over waiting for that to be enjoyable.

Play at the park with your preschooler

Have I told you guys that in my day job, I am the pied piper of preschoolers? I am and it has reminded me that it takes a lot of energy to keep little kids entertained. There is a surprising amount of running, jumping, chasing, carrying and picking up that I had forgotten about. If you think I’m not being serious, in about 4 hours at work, I burn about 1500 calories playing with preschoolers and if you’re carrying babies around, just think of how buff your arms will be. Not joking at all. Playing with kids especially at the park where you will most certainly be running, jumping, swinging and air planing and carrying them on your shoulders will burn loads of calories.

Beach walk with your partner

Now, you probably won’t burn a zillion calories walking after dinner on the beach with your partner in the moonlight. But you will burn some and some is better than none. But if there is some playful flirty chasing or maybe a pit stop for love under the moonlight, all of that burns more calories than just sitting on the couch, falling asleep watching tv. Bonus, you get alone time with your special someone under the moonlight and they get to burn some calories too.

These are just a few ways to get exercise when you can’t get to the gym. Also, FYI, walking around Disney in the hot sun all day having the best day ever with your whole family burns about 3000 calories a day. Just one more reason that Walt Disney World is my favorite place ever.  Of course, I went way over my calories while there too (vacation cocktails) so it all balanced out in the end.

The past few months have been life-altering for me. I was diagnosed with diabetes and, in that moment, my life seriously flashed before my eyes and I knew I wasn’t done. I was faced with the question, do I change my entire life and live or do I continue on the path I’m on and die? It sounds simple enough but it was anything but.

READ MORE: How I Cured Myself of Type 2 Diabetes in 3 months

I knew I had to change but it has been hard. I took a solid week to mourn my old life; my old ways. It’s not easy. No more autopilot. I had to put on my big girl panties (and they were getting pretty big) and take responsibility for my actions. It is a choice every single day to keep going, even when I hit plateaus and I’m not getting where I want to be as fast as I hoped. I have to accept that this is s journey not a destination.

What’s your favorite way to work out when you don’t have time to hit the gym?

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we learn kindness, be kind, live with gratitude, give forgiveness, forgive, kindness

Ever had someone cut you off on the road or honk at you and it really irritated you? Ever find yourself cursing someone out and flipping them off in the car because they did something stupid? Maybe you’ve let someone else’s loud, obnoxious opinion make you feel less than and make you angry. I mean, seriously, who among us hasn’t? I’m not saying you have to be the bigger person but we never know what someone else is going through. But we can choose to live with gratitude and forgiveness and we can learn kindness.

The thing is you end up upset and they don’t give a shit. Honestly, they have no idea and no concern about how their actions affected you. You have just given someone who probably doesn’t matter in the least in your life, power over your happiness. Now, if you saw your friend do the same exact thing, you would stop them and talk them out of it but it’s not so easy when we’re caught up in the moment ourselves. Be gentle and kind to yourself. It’s hard to step back and just take it in before reacting.

Stop, breathe, forgive and be kind

I’m not judging. I’ve gotten angry, been judgemental and reacted poorly and/or aggressively many times throughout my life. In fact, I’m kind of notorious for it in my family and I’m a little embarrassed by my quick temper. I’ve always had this sense of justice that demands that I let people know that they’ve wronged me. Maybe it’s naiveté or maybe I just have to have the last word, I’m not sure anymore but, with age comes wisdom (or so I’d like to think) and my perspective has altered since having kids and again, more recently, once I started to forgive myself. It is now infinitely easier to forgive others.

READ ALSO: You’ve got to Do Right Woman

For years, I have been giving people’s bad behavior the benefit of the doubt. I gave birth and then suddenly, I shifted from “must chase this person who cut me off and almost killed me” to “maybe they have diarrhea”, “Maybe they’re on their way to the hospital”, “maybe they’re late for their wedding.” You can call it making excuses for people, and maybe I am, but I feel like it’s looking for the good in people. I don’t want to believe that all people are jerks. I think, mostly, people are good. Well, except for the racists, misogynists, bigots and homophobes, they need God. But other than that, I think most people want to make good choices.

You can choose to live with gratitude and kindness

You guys, my readers, my followers, my friends, you have made me a better person. Many times you have soothed my hurting heart, shared in my celebrations, loved my children, encouraged and supported our family on our journey from the beginning. You’ve been with me every step of the way on my health journey, my pregnancy loss and all the ups and downs that life has thrown my way over the past decade. I see you. I appreciate you and you’ve renewed my faith in humankind. You’ve opened my eyes and shown me alternate perspectives. You’ve given me hope when I thought there was none. Thank you. And yesterday, you held me in your optimism one more time.

READ ALSO: How I Reversed My Type 2 Diabetes

Yesterday, many of you commented on a post that I had on social media about how I’ve worked really hard to reverse a terrifying diagnosis. I didn’t share it to brag. I shared it to let others know that there is hope. There is a way and if I can do it, so can you. I was proud of the work and the results. You did not fail to once again lift me up. I felt it. The support and encouragement were humbling but you wrapped me in it like a warm, cozy blanket and lifted my heart to a place of impenetrable gratitude. That’s a beautiful place to be in the world.

After a walk where I nearly wept at the beauty all around me (I told you it was a day of gratitude), I could feel life’s blessings falling all around me. I literally walked counting blessings and praying for everyone I know. I like to pray using people’s names. I want blessings for everyone. Anyways, after my walk and a day of exhaling after months of holding my breath, I drove to pick Bella up from school for a doctor’s appointment. A typical day in the neighborhood over here.

Consideration and respect is a small kindness that we can all offer

I was in a great mood. I had a hilarious texting mishap with my sister-in-law and we were both laughing. I was whole body laughing. Serotonin was everywhere. It was glorious. There I was in the pick-up line at school, singing my heart out to The Spirit of Christmas by Ray Charles (you know from that scene in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation where Clark Griswold is sitting up in the attic watching old home videos? Yep, gets me in the feels every damn time) when suddenly but what at my door did appear? A very angry woman.

READ ALSO: Permission to be Ourselves

A mom behind me in the pick-up line had, literally, jumped out of her car, ran up to my window and proceeded to beat on my car window while I was lowering it to see what she wanted. She looked so angry. I met her irrationality with calm. She was yelling and her hands were flying around (I’m not talking shit, I am a proud Mexican hand talker), she was clearly angry but I couldn’t understand what I did to warrant such a reaction.

As she screamed at me that I needed to move because I was “holding up the entire pick-up line” (clearly she doesn’t understand how the front of the pick-up line works. We were all waiting), she screamed, “Do you understand that you are holding up the line?” Then I was completely confused because in pick-up line (especially at the beginning when school is letting out) everyone is holding up the line at one point or another. I could see that whatever was really bothering her clearly went way beyond me and where I was parked. So, I calmly (completely out of character for me) said, “I’m also waiting to pick up my daughter who has a doctor’s appointment now. She’s coming out in a few seconds.”

Choosing kindness is not always easy

She continued to scream that I was blocking her and I began to worry that maybe she had a bleeding body in the back of her SUV that needed to get to the ER. She was so urgent. Her arms were flailing and her face was red and I saw that this woman needed the win of me moving more than I needed to rationalize any of this or win the argument. I quietly and calmly let her finish her say and I said, “OK, I’ll move.” She responded with annoyance. I think she wanted me to be as upset as her but I just wasn’t. I wouldn’t allow myself to be. Then I chuckled because another text from my sister-in-law popped up and I thought this poor woman’s head was going to explode. I wished her a blessed day. I meant it.

READ ALSO: Do you suffer from “other shoe” syndrome?

No joke, I prayed for her. I hope her day got better. I don’t know what was going on in her life yesterday but it must have been massive. It must have felt overwhelming and for that I’m sorry for her. I wish I could make it all better.

I moved my car. I ended up at the front of the line. Everybody saw what had just transpired, no one gave me any issues for pulling right up to the front door as my daughter walked out. Bella got in the car, I gave her a smile and a kiss hello and we went on our way to the doctor. Meanwhile, that same very angry woman was still waiting for her daughter, behind someone else. I didn’t see anything on the news about her yanking anyone from their car and beating them, so I’m assuming everything turned out ok.

We don’t always know what others are going through

I’m telling you this not to make fun of this woman or to marginalize her suffering, whatever it may be, but to remind you to not give others space in your heart, mind and soul. Like most people these days, I have a lot on my plate and I simply don’t have that much space to give. In fact, I’m trying to do a deep purge of my life to eliminate negative things and people who are taking up too much space already. I’m all for saving space in my life for loved ones but life’s too short to let strangers or even toxic friends and family take up valuable space in my heart with negativity and hurt.

READ ALSO: How Grinch almost stole Mommy

All this to say, especially as a reminder this holiday season, we cannot choose how people behave and we do not know the circumstance in which others are existing (life can be hard for so many reasons) but we can control how we move through the world and how we react to other people’s actions. Be kind to everyone. It’s free and requires minimum effort. A random smile or a kind gesture can go a long way to quell someone having a bad day but also, it’s not your responsibility to worry about the entire world. Be patient and tolerant but be mindful and forgiving of others and yourself. If none of that works, walk away. You’ve done your best.

Most importantly, be joyful and grateful in all that you do and your heart will be full and your load will be lighter.

Thank you for reminding me of the power of people with your interactions and remember, you never know what someone else is going through. It could be the worst day of their life. So next time someone flips you off, cuts you off or mumbles something mean under their breath, just smile and move along because you can’t change their bad behavior (you have no control, you are not the boss of them) but maybe your kindness can knock them off guard just enough to snap them out of whatever is worrying, scaring or angering them. Go forward and be blessed.

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My why, why I am working to reverse my diabetes, family, Signs of diabetes, diabetes, diabetes symptoms, type 2 diabetes, how to reverse diabetes

Once upon a time, there was a mom who forgot to take care of herself. She put off physicals, yearly gynecological visits, haircuts and dentist’s visits because everyone else came before herself. She got diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol, had a heart attack and died obese. She didn’t know the signs of diabetes. She didn’t know type 2 diabetes symptoms. That’s how the story could have gone, still can, if we’re being honest. Make good choices people. And the story could be how that mom worked her tail off, put herself first for the first time in a very long time and figured out how to reverse diabetes in 3 months.

The kids were healthy and never missed a dentist appointment, doctor appointment or even a haircut. They wanted for nothing. Neither did her husband. However, mom always came last. No one asked, or expected, her to do this. She just did.

Diabetes didn’t care how selfless she thought she was.

One day after many years of ignoring her own needs, eating whatever was fast and cheap, not exercising and wearing herself out doing for others, she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and hypertension. She is me. I am the mom who forgot to take care of herself. I am a diabetic. Have you forgotten to take care of yourself?

READ ALSO: How a Simple Doctors Visit might have Saved my Life

I’m not special. This isn’t an unusual set of circumstances. Many parents, especially moms, put ourselves last because the goal of life is to keep your family alive and healthy. I didn’t know the symptoms of diabetes so I didn’t think anything about it when I was tired after eating a high carb meal. I just thought I was an exhausted mom.

Do you know the signs of diabetes?

The life goal was a good, strong marriage and to raise good human beings. To travel the world and enjoy life. This is the ball that we keep our eyes on. Then one day, it’s too late. Suddenly, the signs of diabetes are everywhere you look and somehow you managed to miss every single one of them. You’ve got a diagnosis or three and shit is about to get really real for you. Hypertension. Diabetes. Anxiety. Depression. High cholesterol. Cancer. A heart attack. A stroke. There are too many diagnoses to mention but if you’re a mom, you’ve probably already gotten a diagnosis or two of your own and maybe you don’t even know it.

So there I sat in May hearing the “wahwahwahwahwahwah” as all the blood rushed to my head, after my doctor delivered the blow, “You are severely diabetic and you need to leave here and go directly to the pharmacist, do not stop, get your prescriptions and take your high blood pressure medicine in the car because you are also super hypertensive and could literally have a stroke at any minute. Also, you are morbidly obese.” *Slightly rephrased because “wahwahwah” was all I heard after she told me that I was severely diabetic. It felt like a death sentence. I could have been. My Uncle Ramon died from his diabetes. Latinos are highly predisposed to diabetes and high blood pressure. Why did I think I was special? I was terrified and depressed. How had it gotten to this point?

Type 2 diabetes doesn’t discriminate.

It was just a “few” bad choices, right? Ate some junk food. Never counted calories. Never counted carbs. Either ate whatever, whenever or never ate at all. Never “had time” to exercise. Ignored the symptoms or poopoo’ed them away because who has time for such luxuries as being sick and getting well. I have places to be, people to see and children and husband and the PTA who all depend on me.

Spoiler alert: The world will not implode if you take a few days off and take care of yourself. People can pick up the slack and figure shit out if they need to. No one will hate you (and if they do, so what). Generally, people are pretty good and they really do want the best for you but people only treat you the way you allow them to. If you show them a martyr, superwoman then they are going to push you like a martyr superwoman. Pssst, it’s ok to be human.

READ ALSO: What to do when You Realize You’re Doing Parenting All Wrong

But you don’t me to tell you that. You need me to tell you how I changed all of that. How I went from a morbidly obese, hypertensive diabetic to a mom on a mission who reversed her diabetes in 3 months. Sounds easy right? Like turning a car around but it’s anything but. Being a diabetic is a serious condition and can have serious health ramifications so if you have been warned that you are “prediabetic” take it seriously.

Being prediabetic is a major diabetes symptom red flag. Don’t ignore it.

Soon, you will drop the “pre” and just be a full-blown diabetic and your doctor will be checking your feet to see if you’ve lost feeling and never allowed to go barefoot again. You’ll have to have a special diabetic eye exam to make sure you’re not going blind and will never see your children’s beautiful faces again. You’ll have to count your carbs and work out like your life depends on it because it does. I was prediabetic before I was diabetic and I did nothing about it. That “pre” gave me a false sense of safety.

What did I do to reverse my diabetes? Yes, reverse because you can’t cure. Diabetes is incurable. You either live with it and die from it or you do what you need to and reverse it and get back to a non-diabetic state but whatever damage has already been done, has been done and you can always become diabetic again if you start making those wrong choices again. That’s my warning, that’s my real talk.

READ MORE: Food’s an Addiction and Sugar’s a Drug

How to reverse diabetes

My why, why I am working to reverse my diabetes, family, Signs of diabetes, diabetes, diabetes symptoms, type 2 diabetes, how to reverse diabetesPutting Yourself First

The first thing you have to do is make yourself a priority in your own life. Really. You won’t be alive to take care of or love and be loved by anyone if you don’t take care of yourself because you will be dead. Diabetes can kill you. Type 2 diabetes is completely controllable and reversible but you have to care about and love yourself enough to put your health above everything and everyone else. It sounds impossible but it’s not. With the love and support of those you love, you can do it.

Medicine

If you’re like me, you hate to take medicine. It sucks. Everything has side effects. You’ve seen the commercials; to help alleviate your depression you may become suicidal and to alleviate your migraine you can go blind. They have to list every side effect ever. But sometimes you need medicine to survive or at least until you can work towards getting healthy enough to not need it. I’m not on insulin but I was prescribed medication to control my diabetes and my high blood pressure, along with a plan to eat healthy, count carbs and exercise. There is no easy fix. A pill cannot fix everything. A pill is a Band-Aid to help you get well enough to get healthy.

Working Out

This is hard. Starting is overwhelming but it’s not impossible. When you’re a mom, especially, trying to find the time to work out can feel like trying to find time to do your nails or get a massage, non-existent. Remember when I was talking about putting yourself first? This is part of that. Just move. It doesn’t matter how. I started with a Beachbody workout (dancing), then I threw in some BBG ab work. My mom kept urging me to “just walk” and I thought it sounded too simple. I was hesitant but it was doable and it gave me time every morning to reflect and get my mind right. 50 pounds later, mom was right. It was simple. Don’t overcomplicate things. Just move. I document my daily walks on InstaStories to keep myself accountable.

Join me on Instagram to follow along as I reverse diabetes. We can get healthy together.

READ ALSO: How to Lose Weight and Get Healthy Fast

Eating Healthy

Not going to lie, this was hard because eating healthy means being mindful of what you put into your body and investing in yourself because healthy food is not cheap. It is so much more affordable and convenient to buy a McDonald’s dollar menu meal than it is to go to the grocery store, buy fresh produce and lean protein, cook it and eat it after a long day at work. And that is how we’ve gotten to 30 million Americans with diabetes. Most people start showing symptoms of diabetes after the age of 45 but there are more and more children, teens and young adults who are getting diagnosed. By taking care of ourselves and choosing more carefully what to put into our bodies, we are affecting our families and their health too.

I’m not saying you have to make perfect, healthy choices every single day. I’m not saying to deprive yourself. I’m saying to be mindful of your choices and how what you do affects your body. The most important thing is to not let a little blip derail your whole program. A blip is just a blip. Move on and get back to your plan. You can do this.

Drink Your Water

Yes, water weight is a thing and drinking enough water is good for your body in so many ways. It helps flush toxins and maintain the balance of body fluids. It just makes you feel better. You should be drinking a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day. I drink closer to 100 because it’s the only thing I really drink aside from coffee and tea.

Counting Carbs

I’ve never been one who could stick to Keto or no carbs. I love carbs. Bread might be my love language. But the thing is carbs are in everything; fruit, vegetables, rice, milk, meat and sauces. But yeah, there are a lot of carbs in bread so choose wisely.

My doctor gave me a finite amount of carbs each day to consume. 45 per meal, 15 per snack, three times per day for each. Now, it’s like money, I can spend it my carbs wisely on lean proteins and fresh produce or I can waste it on a snickers bar. You can see that a grilled chicken breast, asparagus, watermelon and brown rice would be more filling than a Snickers bar. Mostly we should choose the balanced meal but if you want to choose the Snickers bar occasionally, that’s ok. Just not all day and not every day.

Portion control

Last but, definitely, not least is portion control. Before I had no idea what correct portions were. The portions that most restaurants serve are not the right sized portion for an adult human. They are often double and sometimes even triple the portion size, carbs and calories that we need. So, I started reading labels and measuring. I know, it sounds like a pain in the ass and it is but so is being dead when you want to be alive. Soon, you will learn the right portions and you won’t need to measure everything anymore. Before you know it, you will be eating for fuel and only until you are full not until you are stuffed.  I used to east mindlessly and that’s how I got to where I was. Now, I am thoughtful about my choices; what I eat and how often I move.

This is how I reversed my diabetes in 3 months. It’s been 6 months since I was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension. It’s been 3 months since I reversed it all. I will have to be mindful of my choices and work on my health every day for the rest of my life but now, it’s a habit. I look forward to it because I know I’m working towards being a better me. I feel better and I’ve lost 50 pounds. My goal is to lose 70 more pounds and to do a 5K in 2020. Did I mention by listening to my mom I’ve been walking a 5K every morning, 4-5 days a week? It’s the best part of my day and I’ve done it in everything from 20 degrees to rain, snow and 110 degrees. It’s hard but I’m worth it and so are you!

My why, why I am working to reverse my diabetes, family, Signs of diabetes, diabetes, diabetes symptoms, type 2 diabetes, how to reverse diabetes

This is how I reversed my diabetes in 3 months and saved my life. Are you taking care of yourself? Why not? You deserve to be alive and happy and most certainly, healthy. You are worth the investment. I know, as moms, we put everyone else above us, it’s in our DNA but remember your why. My family, my girls and the Big Guy, are my “why” but I have to take care of me to be here to love and be loved by them. I have to love me to be able to love them. It’s simple. Take care of yourself before it’s too late.

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The Inconvenient Truth about Patrick Crusius, Guns and Racism in America, el Paso, Texas, gun control, mass shootings

I went to church this morning and I prayed for all of us. After the mass shootings in El Paso, Texas by Patrick Crusius that left 20 murdered in cold blood and dozens injured, I was feeling hopeless and then intense anger. A wave of anger that I haven’t felt since Sandyhook. It’s rage. If you’re indifferent to this violence or you’re not enraged enough to be motivated to act, why? Help me to understand your silence. Why are guns and racism still plaguing our nation? This is the inconvenient truth about Patrick Crusius, guns and racism in America.

At mass, I prayed for the families of all the people murdered this week by mass shooters. Yes, there was one every single day this week. Day after day, I got an alert on my phone and every day, I prayed. I prayed for all of you, to keep you safe. But the time for just praying has passed. We need action to protect our children.

READ ALSO: The Children of Sandyhook

As much as I love my country and my God, he can’t do everything. We’ve got to do our part. This keeps happening because we let it. We value our guns over other people’s lives. We have a million excuses why we should keep our guns, rather than change our behavior and save the lives of innocent people. Change is uncomfortable but isn’t the sacrifice worth it? People are hanging on to their guns like they’re their security blankets. They’re not.

For years, I’ve been clear on my stance on guns. I don’t like them. I hate them. They are dangerous because people are dangerous. People cannot be trusted to behave like responsible adults. They can’t be trusted to respect their fellow humans. People may pull the trigger but bullets from guns are what kill people. Those who allow this to keep happening are culpable. End of story.

READ ALSO: The Collateral Damage of Hate

I grew up with guns. Guns are for hunting and protecting, not killing and maiming the people you don’t like. You’re not allowed to grab your gun, take your sick mind full of hatred and anger and shoot at will. That’s not how this is supposed to work.

The right to bear arms was established at a time when we needed people to take up arms to defend our country against the enemy when we had no regulated or established military. The right to bear arms was not put into law to be used as a scapegoat for every low life lacking self-esteem and hating the world. Every prejudiced person with no friends should not be allowed to amass large quantities of ammunition and guns to shoot innocent people. Yes, innocent people.

READ ALSO: Zero Tolerance for Immigrants is Zero Tolerance for Humanity

Because a person is not like you, does not make them a criminal. Shopping at Walmart is not a criminal act. Attending a music festival should not mean gambling with your life. Going to church should not make you a sitting target and dancing and celebrating at a bar, should not mean that you are relinquishing your right to life. Our military fights abroad to keep us safe and free at home, not so crazed gunman can viciously murder us from within.

The real Inconvenient Truth about Patrick Crusius, Guns and Racism in America

I’ve been clear on my stance for years and I’ve prolifically called for us all to stand up for gun control for our children. I know that guns will never be banned but we need stricter control over who can get those guns, how many they can have at a time, how much ammunition they can buy, how those guns can be modified and where, when and why they can be used. There need to be consequences for breaking those mandates and a psychological evaluation made mandatory for every single person who wants to purchase a gun, of any kind, even a hunting rifle.

I’ve never minced my words but today, I am speechless. I am angry. I am disgusted and prayers are simply not enough. Yes, I too believe that through God all things are possible. I believe in the power of prayer but I also, firmly and absolutely, believe that God helps those who help themselves. We need to help ourselves. We need to take responsibility for our children’s safety by standing up for the right things. I don’t think any parent ever, under any circumstances, would choose a gun over their own child’s life under any conditions.

READ ALSO: Dear America

I am disgusted by all of these acts of domestic terrorism. But last night, when I read Patrick Crusius alleged hate-filled, anti-immigration manifesto, my anger hit a new level. It turned to rage. It spoke of a “Hispanic invasion of Texas.” It detailed a plan to separate America into territories by race. It warned that white people were being replaced by foreigners. Again, maybe this ignorant piece of racist garbage doesn’t know his history but Texas used to belong to Mexico. We were there first.

READ ALSO: What to do when Racism happens to your child

20 people were murdered on a Saturday morning and dozens injured for no other reason than Patrick Crusius was a small-minded, ignorant man, with a hate-filled heart who drove 10 hours to murder Mexicans. And he was able to do it because it’s so easy to get access to guns in the United States. A mother protecting her 2-month old son. Dead. An infant whose parents are left behind to live with the pain of the loss of a child. Dead. 18 more innocent people dead because this monster lives during a time where racism, bigotry and misogyny are not frowned upon but encouraged by our current state of affairs.

Patrick Crusius is only part of the problem. Guns and Racism in America are the disease.

How are we, any of us, but especially people of color supposed to feel safe when the color of our skin, our last names, the religion we follow is enough to make small men not only want to murder us but able to get a gun and do so?

We need good people, those who value all human life, who believe in freedom and equality in our country to stand up against the terrorists within our nation’s borders. Everyone is so focused on keeping the brown people out that you are locking us in with hate-fueled, narrow-minded, homegrown terrorists and giving them guns at will. How are any of us supposed to survive this?

 

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Today was an amazing day. 12 weeks after being diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure, I am 30.1 pounds down. I have lost an average of 2.5 pounds a week, every week since May 6th. I was ecstatic when I stepped on the scale and saw the number. Just 19 pounds from being in the 100’s again. Yes! However, for all of my joy and happiness with losing that weight, there was one thing I did not anticipate…my body is changing. Surprise, no one told me how to avoid loose skin when you lose weight fast and so all the changes are not to my liking.

I know, of course if you lose weight, your body will change. I’ve been pregnant before, I know the human body can do all kinds of things you never expected; stretching, giving and returning to (close to) its previous shape. I thought I was doing so well and then I saw the picture I took of myself at the pool the other day.

READ ALSO: Food’s an Addiction, Sugar’s a Drug and I was an Addict

No, I am not going to diminish all the hard work I’ve done. I started out at just nearly 250 on May 6th.  Since then, I’ve been carb counting, walking every day for 60-80 minutes and generally living a healthier and more aware lifestyle. I’m not perfect but with portion control, dedication to eating healthier and being aware of my carb intake, I’ve been moving the scale and bringing all my numbers down to where they are supposed to be.

It’s a choice every single morning to get up and just do it. I’m choosing me and my health. I’ve been full steam ahead, laser-focused on the goal of health. As long as the numbers are going down and the clothes are getting bigger, life is fabulous but I NEVER expected what I saw in that picture. I give you…the thighgina.

weight loss, lose weight fast, loose skin, thighgina, weight loss problems

Loose skin from weight loss = Thighgina

There I was standing proudly in my weight loss, in my bikini because I believe every single body is a bikini body, and there it was just standing there, blending in like a skeevy creeper, my brand spanking new FUPA meets a walrus vagina meets the sagging skin on my shrinking thighs. It was not fabulous or spectacular. When I saw it, I was mortified.

For the past 3 months, all summer, I’ve been walking around daydreaming of the day when I could shop in the regular size section and everything fits and nothing is tight or makes me look like I’m a sausage. That’s not me being mean, that’s me telling it like it is for me at 250 lbs. I was not even thinking about sagging skin or thighginas. But, that thighgina has been thinking about me. Just waiting until I hit that 30-pound mark to poke out his (yes, he’s a dude because a lady would not do that to another lady) sinister little head and say hello, at.the.pool.

READ ALSO: The Burden of Being Fat

But I refuse to let the thighgina win. Nope. Not today, thighgina. I’m going to persevere because where there is a will there is a way and I will rid you from my life. Oh yes, I will. So I’m on the hunt for all the best exercises for toning your inner thighs because thighgina will not stand. No, I am not in pursuit of a thigh gap. Been there, done that. Have the diagnosis to prove it. I firmly believe that thick thighs save lives…and iPhones from the toilet. But, thick thighs are not a thighgina. Folks, a thighgina is not pretty.

If you have any inner thigh exercises that you do to tone and have worked for you, please share them with me. I’m trying to tone all of my body as I go. I’m going the slow and steady route. I still have to lose 89 pounds to get to my optimal BMI weight of 130 pounds, or so they tell me. Today, I’m headed back to the pool and I’m taking my thighgina with me. I hope he enjoys it

Have you ever lost or gained a significant amount of weight? How did you mentally and physically adjust to all the changes your body went through?

What are your tips for how to avoid loose skin when you lose weight fast?

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women, middle aged women, midlife crisis, an open letter to women everywhere, you deserve better

I’m smack dab in the middle of a life journey back to me. Sounds existential, right? No, it’s not a midlife crisis. I was thrust into a situation where I had to evaluate all of my life choices and make better choices for myself, for my family and for my life but mostly, for MYSELF.

Women, you deserve better.

It’s really pretty simple and it’s more common than not. In fact, I know a lot of women who are also going through this exact same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty going through a midlife crisis too. I’m just not there yet. I’m sure my time is coming. When it does, I will embrace it.

READ ALSO: The Secret that will Change Everything

The journey I’m talking about is the moment that we find ourselves in a new chapter of motherhood and life. Our kids don’t need us as much as they used to. They’re a little more self-sufficient. We’re a little lonelier. We want to contribute. We want to feel needed. We want to feel purposeful. We want to be seen for who we are and suddenly, we barely recognize ourselves in the mirror.

I don’t recognize the middle-aged woman staring back at me.

She looks like me but tired and grey. She’s missing her spark. Feeling like a childhood lovie; worn, outgrown and left behind.

We realize that we’ve let ourselves fall to the wayside too many times. We’ve lost priority seating in our own life. We can’t even get past the velvet ropes into VIP and we’re the effing bouncer. Gone are the days of taking 2-hours to get ready but we’re done with the ponytail and yoga pants too.

READ ALSO: Best Things about 40

We’ve let ourselves become invisible for so long that we almost can’t see ourselves and if we do, we definitely don’t recognize the person staring back at us. We’ve glimpsed our reflection and we deserve more. We want more. We are no longer satisfied with being a ghost, transparent from the photos of our own lives. The problem is that we need to remember to see ourselves before anyone else can.

I thought I was in this situation by myself but its more common than not.

I had a medical crisis that made me take a hard look at myself with all the lights on, strong fluorescent lights at that. It wasn’t even good lighting. I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself and myself gave it to me straight.

This is all my fault.

No one else did this to me. They just followed suit. I’ve heard so many ladies asking the internet for permission to do for themselves lately that I’m dizzy. Before I would have nodded in agreement but now, I’m saying take it. You deserve it. You deserve all the good things. I’m grateful for me and I’m not taking it for granted anymore.

READ ALSO: Gynecological Misadventures of a Millenial Mom

Suddenly, I realized that if I wanted to be prioritized and treated right by others, then I have to prioritize and treat myself right. Respect yourself and others will too. We show people how to treat us. If we accept being pushed aside and made to wait for what we want, that’s what will happen. If you ask for permission, you run the risk of someone saying no. Do “you” and ask for forgiveness. You won’t need it.

There is no award for martyrdom and our families can’t read our minds. But just like we tell our daughters, “you set the standard of how others will treat you.” We need to believe that it applies to us too. I’ve been drilling it into my daughters’ heads and hearts since birth, all the while contradicting myself in the way I live my own life.

READ ALSO: The Moment I stopped caring what others think of me

That’s where I am today. I’m loving who I am. I’m remembering that I am worth all the love and hard work that I put into everyone else in my life. I deserve good things and I shouldn’t be afraid of failure or not being perfect. Just by doing my best, I am succeeding.

My journey is slow and steady and that’s exactly how I want it to be. Nothing good ever happens overnight and if it did, I wouldn’t trust it anyways. This slow shift is giving me time to get used to who I’m becoming; to live and thrive in my new normal. It’s giving me time to ease into the fact that I am good enough. You are too.

What are you doing for you? Just for you? Are you working out? Are you resting? Sleeping enough? Eating right? Are you forgiving yourself? Do you believe in yourself? Are you going for your dreams? Trying new things? Taking vacations? Being kind to your heart? Living out loud? Are you loving the life you live? If not, stop what you’re doing right now. Change it. It’s that simple. Make up your mind to change the narrative.

 

 

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weight loss, lose weight fast, loose skin, thighgina, weight loss problems, how to lose weight fast, weight loss, how to lose 100 pounds

Want to lose weight fast? Don’t we all. I’ve been wanting to lose 100 pounds for years but I never did it. But, not because it was impossible but because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to commit to all the things I needed to do to lose the weight. It’s not hard to lose 100 pounds, but it is a lot of work. A lot of work and it won’t happen overnight. If it does, you may want to go see your doctor because something is probably wrong.

READ ALSO: The Burden of Being a Fat Woman

To lose weight, you need to make up your mind, seriously, that you are ready to lose the weight. You need to go into it knowing that it will take time. It will require sacrifice. It’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. You will have to dedicate yourself to pursuing this for as long as it takes, maybe forever.

The good news is that you can unlearn bad habits and form new habits in about 3 weeks time. 3 weeks is a long time when you are adjusting to reducing carbs and calories. 3 weeks is a long time when you are just starting to move and work out but it’s only 3 weeks.

How to lose weight without feeling like you’re being punished.

After 3 weeks, moving will become a habit. Believe it or not, you will begin to crave it and even enjoy it. You’ll look forward to your morning walk or workout. I promise you will. Your body will adjust to your new way of eating. The bad foods will stop tasting as good and the good foods will start to taste better. You will learn to live in your new normal. You will find that after 3 weeks, it doesn’t feel restrictive. This is a lifestyle change so everything in moderation. Don’t put anything off limits or your mind will want it more.

What am I doing to lose weight aside from changing how I eat?

I am developing a healthy relationship with food for the first time, honestly, in my entire life. Food is fuel.

Am I still a foodie? Yes, you can be a foodie without being a glutton. I eat everything in moderation and a weigh and measure before it goes in my mouth. No more mindless eating. No more stress or comfort eating. I’m having to face my issues. It is hard. No more asking for forgiveness. It’s all about permission now and allowing myself to be human.

I’m eating fewer carbs and less sugar, and eating more vegetables and whole foods. That’s it.

READ ALSO: How a Doctor’s Visit Saved My Life

I’m moving.

Moving doesn’t need to mean going to the gym or getting a Peloton, even though I still want one of those. For me, it means alternating between CIZE by Beachbody ( I started with the 30-minute video and just upped to the 45-minute one) and the BBG app. It can mean just walking.I’m still pretty overweight and out of shape so BBG is hard for me so I modify and on some days, I even do the postpartum workout because it’s what I can do. In the past few weeks, I’ve also added walking 45 minutes a day (when it’s not raining out.) The point is that I am making a conscious choice to move and more importantly, I’m making the time and not excuses. Excuses are what got me here in the first place.

how to lose weight fast, weight loss, how to lose 100 pounds

Forgiving myself for not being perfect.

I am a human. I am taking one day at a time. Losing this kind of weight and fighting for your life is not a sprint, it’s a long ass cross country race and it takes time. There will be slip ups and plateaus. But with the one day at a time mentality, one foot in front of the other, it’s just one moment of my journey and that one slip up does not define me. Neither does the size of my pants.

Loving myself.

I never thought I could truly love myself. As I said, I am a perfectionist with control issues. I am my harshest critic. I love big and fearlessly when it comes to others but I’ve never been able to look at myself that way. I’m learning to love me. I’m prioritizing me. I am as important as the people I love. I’m beginning to see the good in me. The gifts that I offer the world.

READ ALSO: Sugar is a drug and I was an addict.

Letting others be there for me.

This is another thing that has always been hard for me. I love being people’s rock but I hate hinging my happiness on others so I never do. I’m always afraid they will fail me. But after 20 years of marriage to the Big Guy, he has always been there for me. I always say that he saved my life when we met because that’s when I stopped the anorexia. Well, he’s doing it again. He’s all in and so are my girls and my friends and family. I have received so much love, encouragement and support from so many of you. It means everything to me. You all inspire me.

This is how you lose 100 pounds.

Well, actually the end goal is 111 pounds. It’s not about starving yourself. It’s about loving yourself, forgiving yourself and prioritizing yourself enough to take the time, have the patience and put in the effort to get healthy.

To be honest, the end goal is not even a number on the scale for me. The end goal is being completely healthy and on no medication. The goal is to live as long as I can to see my girls grow up, my grandchildren be born and grow up and get married. The goal is to be happy, love myself as unconditionally as I love my family and to feel good in my own skin; to be around to see as many sunsets with my husband as life will allow.

What are you doing to take care of you?

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food's an addiction, sugar is a drug, I was an addict, carbaholic

I’ve never had a healthy relationship with food. It’s always been the one thing I’ve loved and I’ve hated. I love the taste of food. It comforted me when things were tough. It would console me. Then I would use it to punish myself; to find myself unworthy. I would withhold it from myself, like love from a misogynist. Yet, I never thought sugar is a drug and I never considered myself an addict. This is how I lived in this vicious cycle pursuing perfection that doesn’t exist. It was a controlling relationship wherein I was the victim and the abuser.

But then I had a revelation, food’s an addiction. Sugar is a drug and I was an addict.

Yes, food is a drug and I am an addict and it’s almost killed me twice. Anorexia in the ’90s and diabetes in 2019. I used to proudly proclaim, “I’d rather work out for 3 hours straight than give up my French fries!” I was also the same person who secretly high-fived myself when people started to tell me that I was getting “too skinny” and looked sickly. In my mind, I was winning. I was cheating the system and beating food. Really, I was killing myself.

READ ALSO: Bulimarexia the Consequence of Impossible Standards

Here we are, 20 years in recovery from starvation and purging. Nasty little fact, being an anorexic is like being an alcoholic, every day is choosing to not indulge in the bad behavior no matter how much you want to. I won’t lie, there have been slip-ups. I’ve had a big meal and thrown it up. I’ve skipped meals. I’ve worked out excessively. I’ve tried to cheat the system and lied to myself that it was, “Ok, just this once” knowing how slippery the road really was. But for the most part, for the past 20 years, I had to let go of the control.

The problem with me is that there is no in between. There is micromanage everything that goes in my mouth and purge, there is restrict and starve and there is eat all the things with wild abandoned and no worry of consequences.

READ ALSO: How a Simple Doctors Visit Might Save My Life

Let me create a picture, so you all don’t think I was shoving whole sleeves of cookies down my throat. When I say wild abandon, I mean I ate food in moderate amounts but without worrying, caring or writing down anything. I had to do this because the alternative behaviors sent me right back into obsessive, controlling behavior that caused my anorexia in the first place.  Basically, I was out of control for two decades to avoid being dead. Or at least, that is what I made myself believe.

Now, here I am. Last month, I told you all about my come to Jesus meeting with my doctor. It was eye-opening, if not traumatic. She told me some hard facts. I feel like, for years, my doctors have been coddling me. I went from 103 pounds and inched up over the years and through the pregnancies to a whopping ( gulp..I’m about to say it out loud) 259.9 pounds at my heaviest. On the day my doctor gave me the bad news, I was 249.9 pounds. I’m 5’7”. I am morbidly obese. You know morbid means deadly, right?

I went home that day, cried my eyes out, stayed in bed for a couple of days, quite frankly, terrified of food. After all, it was literally killing me. But really, it wasn’t the food at all. It was me. I needed to take ownership of that. It was always me from anorexia through to diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

READ ALSO: A Day in the Life of a Girl with Eating Disorders

I took my 3 days to cry it out and feel sorry for myself and then I did what I always do, I put on my big girl panties and I figured it out. Not as easy as it sounds. I am still figuring it out.

Here’s where I began to break my food addiction.

I changed my thinking. I stopped thinking of it as a death sentence and began to think of it as a blessing. I was still alive. All I needed to do was change my behavior and learn how to eat.

I began to measure my food. You cannot imagine how off my portions were. Try it, you will be floored.

I began to count carbs. My doctor gave me grams per day; 45 per meal 3x a day, and 15 per snack 3x per day. The thing about counting carbs is first, carbs were not taken away. There is nothing that makes me want something more than making it forbidden.

I eliminated all pop and juice because they are nothing but sugar. Instead, I opted for fresh fruit and if I need a drink other than water or milk, I drink Bubly. Actually, I am obsessed with the cherry flavor.

I am learning to say no to things. I am learning that sometimes it is ok to say yes to a bite or a ½ of something you really want but always in moderation and always aware of the portion size and carb count. Through this process of cutting my carbs and portion control, I’m learning that I really don’t love some of the food that I thought I loved as much as I do.

Case in point, pizza. I can have one piece with a salad if I feel the need. However, wasting 27 carbs on one slice feels ridiculous and it just doesn’t taste the same to me anymore. Pizza, the food that I thought I couldn’t live without. I don’t even really like anymore. It tastes weird to me.

I’m eating real food. I’ve been focusing on lean meats, fresh vegetables, fruits and logging every single thing I put into my mouth. I’m not living on chicken broth or cabbage. This isn’t a diet. I also weigh myself every morning and check my blood pressure and my blood glucose every day. It feels a little bit like restricting and that terrifies me because I can’t slip back into those old behaviors but I can’t eat with wild abandon either because my life is at stake. For now, this is what is working for me.

So far, I’ve lost 20.5 pounds in 6 weeks. I’ve lost 17.5 inches since May 29th ( that was the first time I measured but by then I had already lost about 10 lbs. so I’m sure I’ve lost more than that). My blood pressure is completely normal. No more headaches. My blood glucose is completely in the normal range. No more insomnia. I’ve had insomnia my entire life. Now, I shut my eyes and go to bed on most nights by 10 p.m. I feel better than I’ve felt in years.

Maybe food’s an addiction. Maybe sugar is a drug and I was an addict but I’m changing all that and you can too. Do you think you’re a carb or sugar addict? Does your health say otherwise?

 

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