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Search results for: “sick”

  • Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems and Why I Hate Pandemic Parenting

    Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems and Why I Hate Pandemic Parenting

    Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

    Not saying CoVid and this pandemic are issues especially hard for middle class moms with private school kids but not saying it isn’t either. I’ve noticed that, at least from my viewpoint, public schools are doing more to stop the spread. Public schools are funded by the government and are more likely to follow government guidelines and recommendations because they are cognizant that not doing so can end in losing funding. Private schools on the other hand are funded by donors, usually wealthy alumni who gift large sums of money, often with “suggestions.” What I’m saying is that if you think super-rich kids are terrible, well, you’ve never experienced their entitled parents firsthand.

    They don’t like to be told what to do. It infringes upon “their freedom” so they will scream white at the top of their lungs while staring directly at a black wall. If you disagree, you are not right, you are obviously blind because you chose to believe your own eyes over what they tell you. This is the situation.

    Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems.

    Science and research show that vaccines, masks and social distancing are the way to end the pandemic. Some people at private schools say none of it exists and refuse to allow their children to follow guidelines for a “political pandemic” created by the liberals to make us all sheeple. After all, this is MURICA! Caught right in the middle of it all, the faculty and administration just trying to do the right thing by humankind without alienating the very people who pay their salaries.

    Omicron is here and making my life more difficult than ever. I hate pandemic parenting because I’m terrified to send my kids to school. Let me start by saying that this whole pandemic has been a lesson in versatility, patience and pushing past fear. It’s enough already. I give. I’ve learned my lesson. I wash my hands religiously, I prioritize people and I live like every day could be my last, because it could be but my breaking point seems to be when I live in a world where others are pretending that none of this is real. People are dying and where I live, people are pretending that nothing is wrong. People are dying and nothing is wrong? Is this logical to anyone reading this? If so, please help it make sense because I can’t and it’s literally making me feel insane.

    At this point, my family has been vaccinated and boostered, except Gabi who will get hers this week as soon as I can get her an appointment. We rarely go anywhere. With Omicron we are actually reverting to our March 2020 hermit lives. We wear masks in public and we social distance when possible. We wash our hands and change our outside clothes. We disinfect everything. In our state, we are in the minority.

    At our daughters’ school, there are no preventative CoVid safety measures in place this year other than CDC guideline quarantining for the minimum 5 days if exposed and showing symptoms. But there is no social distancing or mask policy in place. There is no vaccination requirement. So every day, my rational and intelligent girls who have common sense go to school knowing they are 100% exposed. This is not okay.

    Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems.

    They are under so much stress (as any rational/ thinking person would be) that they have now both developed severe stress and anxiety due to the mishandling of the pandemic. They are kids who should be doing kid things but instead they are worried they are going to die or kill someone else because the adults are dropping the ball. The adults in charge are neither caring or protecting our children from Coronavirus, Delta or Omicron. They’re just seeing how this all plays out and that’s just not working for me anymore.

    The other day I was driving to pick my daughters up from school and the truck ahead of me had a bumper sticker that read, “Unmask Our Kids Now.” In my head I heard, “unhand my mother” or “Free Nelson Mandela” only it wasn’t about saving anyone. In fact, quite the opposite. It basically read, “Societal rules don’t apply to me because I’m a selfish toddler who doesn’t care about anyone else but me and it’s my right to do whatever I want.”

    You see, all over the country, friends of mine are taking their 5-11-year-olds to get their vaccination. In fact, they went on the very first day of eligibility, some of them drove to neighboring cities and even states, just to do their part to help end this pandemic. I’m elated. We took our girls as soon as they were eligible. Now, we’re getting them boostered because that is what all of us should be doing to end this pandemic. Was I nervous about giving my daughters a brand new vaccination? Yes. But I’m more afraid of CoVid and the long-term effects of Coronavirus.

    There are still adults who haven’t gotten 1 shot yet. Y’all should be ashamed. You’d probably jump in the lifeboats ahead of the women and children too, am I right? Come on, this is embarrassing, America. Be a grown-up and do your part. Yes, I know, you don’t believe in CoVid but he believes in you and if you’re just going to live your life like you’re pursuing happiness, Consequences be damned, YOU WILL GET COVID. Regardless if you believe or not.

    Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems.

    So here we are. My daughter has missed 30 days of in-person school. I’d say at least 20 of those days were mandatory quarantines from exposure or from having “symptoms” like coughing or sore throat. I did it because even though they were vaccinated, the rules are in place to protect all of us. Also, the girls have caught a few viruses this year (as expected when reentering public places after 17 months of isolation) and pre-CoVid if my children were sick, I kept them home to protect others from catching it and to let my girls rest and recuperate. But suddenly, CoVid is the only acceptable reason for an absence.

    Here’s where the real frustration comes into play, aside from kids at school chastising those who are vaccinated and/or wearing masks now the administration is questioning whether or not my daughters are “really sick” or just “don’t want to be there” when I call my daughters in sick. This began after we made them aware of the mental health struggles our girls are dealing with (as are most intelligent adults and teens). Talk about minimizing mental health. What else did I expect from a place that literally had a speaker come in and tell the kids that depression is evil and they need to pray away their mental health issues? Look, I’m all for leaning on God for strength when you feel helpless but to make it a character flaw to seek mental health help is something entirely different altogether.

    Honestly, I didn’t write this post to complain about my kids’ school, I’m simply frustrated and exhausted from all of this. My daughter’s been vomiting and nauseous for the past 36 hours. Obviously, I can’t send her into a school like that nor would I send a child who is feeling that terrible into school. I called the attendance office and explained and braced myself for the inevitable call from the school nurse telling us we’d need a negative CoVid test to return, even with being vaccinated and boostered. Can I just mention that we’ve had to get so many CoVid tests in the past 2 years that the pharmacy techs at our local CVS know us by name now? It’s embarrassing. All that aside, I did get the call for the nurse but not before I got the call from the Vice Principal telling me that we “need to have a meeting to discuss her attendance”. It’s the first day of the new semester, what is there to talk about? She.Is. SICK. End of the story.   

    Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems.

    I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My first priority is to keep my girls healthy, happy and alive. ALIVE. At this point, I’m getting as afraid of their depression and anxiety as I am of CoVid. No child should have to feel so hopeless and helpless. I spend many nights a week reassuring my daughters that we can get through this. Holding them while they cry about what they’ve lost and the normal teen experience that they simply cannot have right now. They are missing normal human connection and being able to attend school safely. Every day they feel under threat and I don’t blame them. So I advocate for them, reassure them, hold them and love them as much and as unconditionally as I can but it’s hard when I’m just as stressed, anxious and depressed as they are.

    Update: Day 2 of vomiting and nausea, they are requiring a doctor’s note or fax saying the doctor doesn’t need to see her in order to excuse the absences. Even the pediatrician is like, it hasn’t even been 48 hours, she’s not dehydrated and she’s not running a fever coming in would be more dangerous than waiting it out. They can’t even do anything for a stomach bug. FML.

    What would you do in my situation? What are you doing to not only protect your family from CoVid Omicron but all the long-term side effects of surviving a pandemic in a world where conspiracy theorists and CoVid deniers pretend nothing is wrong and none of this is real?

  • Eventually, All Dogs Go To Heaven & All Kids Go to Kindergarten

    Eventually, All Dogs Go To Heaven & All Kids Go to Kindergarten

    The first day of kindergarten and a sick dog. This week is emotionally chaotic. Too much change at once. This week is supposed to be hard. It’s the first week of school for my girls. Gabs is starting kindergarten, so obviously I am all verklempt. I am trying to hold my shit together because there is nothing worse than a 5 year old seeing her Mommy act like she’s sending her baby off to war. Oh, but my mommy heart. It hurts.

    dog, daughter, kindergarten, back-to-school, first day of school, letting go

    Meet the Kindergarten Teacher Day

    I’m trying to be proactive and make it easier. Yesterday, I took her to school to meet the teacher and showed her around the room and the school.  We investigated every nook and cranny of that Kindergarten class. She was a bit overwhelmed but I kept telling her how awesome it was going to be and her big sister was there to reassure her. I just kept swallowing the lump in my throat. Pushing it down, down, down; where it will stay until I am safely outside the building on the first day of school this Thursday. THEN, I will collapse in a heaving, hyperventilating  pool of snot and tears.Yes, my heart is going to break. I know this. I’ve been here before with my first but this is different, this is my last baby.

    My sweet little shy girl who embarrasses easily and who wears her heart on her sleeve. But like her sister before her, she will suck it up and make that funny little smile that tells me that she is feeling unsure and a little bit scared inside but she won’t let anyone else know, just her and I, it’s our secret. I’ll want to make it all better but the only way to make it better is to let her experience it and know that it is okay. This is one thing the girls have definitely inherited from me, they need to feel their feelings and survive them to know they can. We are “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger girls” and we are firmly set in our beliefs that, “Failure is not an option” even when it may seem like the only choice there is. We keep on trying. Both my girls are like that; stoic to the bitter end, almost to a fault. I wish she could just cry and get it all out but she’s too much like me. We do cry but first we push stuff down, way down and we carry on no matter how much it eats at us on the inside and necrotizes that spot we push it down to.

    But the crap just keeps piling on. The same week that my baby starts kindergarten and my Bella has moved up to 2nd grade, my oldest and furriest girl (our 13 year old boxer, Saffaron) is sick. She’s old and we know that every day is a gift with this girl. Saffaron was the first baby the Big Guy and I had together. We brought her home in September, 4 months after we were married and she has been by our side since. I love this dog like only a Mommy can. My girls adore her. I’ve been trying to explain that sometimes people and animals get REALLY old (I’m trying to convince them that me being 39 is NOT really old) or sick and they go to sleep and then they go to be with God and wait for us. This is what I told them about their baby and now I am telling them this about their dog.

    kindergarten, dog, letting go, growing up, getting old

    This is how the dog marked meet the kindergarten teacher day

    Today, the dog was really not feeling well. She was lying around not moving (she was breathing, I checked) but she just seemed done. Yes, I’ve seen this look before and we had a conversation last year. She owes me 5 more years, because my heart is not ready to say good-bye again so soon. I just had to say good-bye in May and I think there should be at least a year in between good-byes to people and things you love. Last year, she almost died from an acute case of pancreatitis. My grandmother died from pancreatic cancer about a month before my dog was afflicted. No, I am not saying that my Grandma gave my dog pancreatitis but my year in between good-byes rule came to mind this morning.

    I grabbed my girls; sleepy (because she’s trying to adjust to the school sleep schedule), nervous (because she has been sporting her nervous “Help me mom” smile since she realized that this was the week she started BIG school) and Grandma Moses (because my once spry puppy is now an elderly 91) and off to the veterinarian hospital we went. As I looked in the rearview, I saw both of my daughters sporting the “Oh Jesus, please don’t today be the day our dog dies!”  TO my right, the dog is giving me the,”Please don’t hit any bumps. Dear Jesus, take me quick!” Me, I am torn. On one selfish hand, I don’t ever want that beautiful bitch to die. I just love her too damn much and our family will be incomplete without her walking around looking at us all like we are all a bunch of assholes before giving us lots of love out of pity for our stupidity. She thinks we are big dumb animals; it’s obvious to us.  But on the other hand, I don’t want her living in pain. Her body is not what it used to be. Her arthritis is awful in the mornings, she’s got glaucoma, and benign tumors pop up all over her body at random times for no apparent reason. She’s tired and I’m pretty sure that soon she will be ready to go and we will have to let her go.

    The letting go sucks. I just hope it’s not this week. This week, I have that beautiful and sweet bitch pumped full of antibiotics and pain pills. We are all giving her a little more love and attention than usual. I’m hoping she will grace us with her big heart and floppy ears for at least another year. This week I have to start the letting go of my 5 year old and I just don’t think that my Mommy heart can handle losing my furry daughter. I don’t think any of us can, least of all the 5 year old. Please don’t turn the first week of kindergarten at my house into a country song.

    How did you mark the first day of kindergarten?

    kindergarten, dog, letting go, back-to-school

    Kindergarten has got nothing on this dog

  • What is the Coronavirus and What Every Mom Needs to Know

    Wondering if you should be taking more precautions to protect your family from Coronavirus? Don’t want to be an alarmist? But want to take care of your children? Maybe you’re wondering why they named a really shitty virus after a vacation cocktail. Yes, I’d like an ice-cold coronavirus, add lime. Not funny, right? Let’s just talk plainly, what the hell is coronavirus and what should every mom know about it.

    Now, while I’m not raiding my local stores of all the cleaning supplies, I am keeping my pantry stocked with Lysol, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer and toilet paper but I do that all the time anyway. I’m not buying a year’s worth but with 4 people who seem to catch everything that goes around living in the house, we’re always stocked just in case. While I’m not one for screaming the proverbial fire in a crowded theater, I’m also a realist and the fact is that Coronavirus exists and it does not discriminate.

    READ ALSO: Parents who send their kids to school sick are the worst

    However, being immunosuppressed with an immunosuppressed child, I’m also not taking any unnecessary risks. We won’t be using public transportation; planes, trains, and buses are not on our to-do list. We’re also not going to be going to any large crowded venues if we can avoid it. I’m also considering taking advantage of pick-up for groceries and necessities rather than being in the stores until some of the flu strains and viruses going around are not going around as much.

    Here is what I’ve found out and what every mom should know about the coronavirus!

    What is the coronavirus?

    Coronaviruses (CoV) is not new. They’re a large family of viruses that cause illness ranging from the common cold to more severe diseases such as Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS-CoV) and Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS-CoV). The issue with the current novel coronavirus is that it’s a new strain and is zoonotic, meaning it can be transmitted between animals and people. The strains that typically infect humans generally cause symptoms that are no more severe than the common cold. However, sometimes a rogue coronavirus jumps from animals to humans and is more severe than typical.

    This new coronavirus is spreading quickly throughout the world and we’re all on edge, especially parents because we’re worried about our children. At last count, more than 92,000 known people have contracted Coronavirus and at least 3,000 people have died since an outbreak began in December in Wuhan, China. While most confirmed cases are still in China, the coronavirus has since spread to at least 71 countries, with at least 100 recorded cases and at least six deaths in the United States.

    Previously, the bulk of the cases in the United States were connected to the Diamond Princess cruise ship that was docked in Japan after it was revealed that some guests onboard tested positive for coronavirus. But a growing number of those diagnosed have happened after contact with an infected person or after no known connection to previous cases, suggesting that the virus is spreading among communities. The outbreak is on the verge of being a pandemic if it can’t be contained.

    Symptoms of the Coronavirus that Moms should be aware of

    • Common signs of infection include
    • Respiratory symptoms
    • Fever
    • Cough
    • Shortness of breath and breathing difficulties.
    • In more severe cases, an infection can cause pneumonia, severe acute respiratory syndrome, kidney failure and even death.

    How to stop the spread of Coronavirus

    Standard recommendations to prevent infection spread include regular hand washing, covering mouth and nose when coughing and sneezing, thoroughly cooking meat and eggs. Avoid close contact with anyone showing symptoms of respiratory illness such as coughing and sneezing.

    READ ALSO: Working with Preschoolers and Jumping in the Cootie Pond

    To reduce exposure to and transmission of a range of illnesses in the general public do as follows, which include hand and respiratory hygiene, and safe food practices:

    • Wear a cloth face mask that covers your mouth and nose at all times when in public.
    • Frequently clean hands by using alcohol-based hand rub or soap and water;
    • When coughing and sneezing cover mouth and nose with flexed elbow or tissue – throw tissues away immediately and wash hands;
    • Avoid close contact with anyone who has a fever and cough;
    • If you have a fever, cough and difficulty breathing seek medical care early and share previous travel history with your health care provider;
    • When visiting live markets in areas currently experiencing cases of novel coronavirus, avoid direct unprotected contact with live animals and surfaces in contact with animals;
    • The consumption of raw or undercooked animal products should be avoided. Raw meat, milk or animal organs should be handled with care, to avoid cross-contamination with uncooked foods, as per good food safety practices.

    Why are experts so concerned about this new coronavirus?

    1. This is a new illness that doctors have never seen before so there’s still a lot to learn about how it’s transmitted and how it will affect everyone.

    2. The virus is contagious, even before symptoms appear.

    The CDC believes the new virus is contagious during the incubation period, which is believed to be 14 days, and symptoms can appear anytime between two and 14 days after exposure. Chinese officials reported person-to-person transmission as the virus spreads. The CDC also has confirmed person-to-person transmission in the U.S.

    1. The 2019 novel coronavirus may be mild but, in some cases, can be very serious

    “As with a cold, there is no vaccine for the coronavirus and a flu vaccine won’t protect people from developing it. Washing hands especially after eating, going to the bathroom, and touching your face and avoiding other people who have flu-like symptoms are the best strategies at this point.”

    1. There’s a lot that we don’t know, so precautions are extremely important

    Given that the symptoms tend to be mild and the number of people infected worldwide remains small, you may wonder why so much attention is being paid to this particular illness. Extreme caution is warranted because of how little is known about this new virus. For now, spreading awareness, keeping people updated as scientists learn more, and screening people who might be at risk are the best tools available. If you travel or if you visit a health care provider or facility, it may be helpful to know that the coronavirus-related signs you see and questions you may be asked are important.

    1. Guidelines will evolve as doctors learn more

    The CDC advises people who travel anywhere, locally or internationally, to:

    • Avoid contact with sick people
    • Avoid animals, whether they are dead or alive, as well as animal markets, and animal products
    • Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

    What to do if you think you may have been exposed

    Anyone who has traveled to Wuhan and is experiencing fever or respiratory symptoms should:

    • Seek medical care immediately. Call ahead to their doctor or emergency room to let them know about recent travel and symptoms.

    • Avoid contact with others

    • Avoid travel if they are sick

    • Cover their mouth and nose with a tissue or sleeve (not hands) if they must cough or sneeze

    • Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

    The virus can be spread from animals to people. But it also can be spread by coughing, sneezing and through close contact with an infected person or an object carrying the virus. Experts are still figuring out how long an infected person is contagious as they try to determine a point of transmission.

    How different is it from the common cold or flu?

    Coronavirus infections, in general, are indistinguishable from other respiratory infections. In most cases, they cause a runny nose, cough, sore throat, fatigue and fever. But with the new coronavirus, patients tend to have a fever, cough and shortness of breath.

    Do I need to stockpile N95 face masks?

    No.

    The C.D.C. recommends that only infected patients and their health care providers wear N95 respirator masks, which are a special type of mask intended to filter out 95 percent of airborne particles. When physicians treat a person infected with the disease caused by the virus, they wear a face shield, gown and gloves.

    Standard surgical masks also can’t fully protect you from contracting the virus. However, if, when in public, everyone wears a cloth face mask properly, covering the mouth and nose, it can drastically reduce the amount of spread of the virus.

    Should parents be worried?

    Right now, no. Be cautious but not crazy. Cases in children have been very rare. Most people infected with coronavirus are between 49 and 56 years old. It appears that when kids do get it, they have milder symptoms. Flu is killing a lot more Americans, including children, but flu is the monster we know.

    Update (11/7…129000 new cases today) coronavirus can be contracted by anyone and it affects everyone differently. There are also long term health effects. The 49-56 age group being the highest affected is no longer the case.

    What steps should parents take to protect their child from Coronavirus?

    You should take the same precautions you would take to protect your child from the common cold or flu.

    • Encourage children to wash their hands frequently and thoroughly with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.
    • Alcohol-based hand sanitizers can work if that’s all you got, but they’re generally not as effective as soap and hot water.
    • Hands should be washed before children eat, after they use the bathroom, come inside from outdoors or touch something dirty like garbage.
    • If you see someone coughing or sneezing, try to keep your kids as far away from them as possible. It’s believed that respiratory secretions don’t travel more than six feet.
    • Travel is also fine but use common sense and caution. For the most part, domestic trips and even most international ones are still OK. Check the CDC guidelines before you plan a trip. If you’re planning a cruise for spring break, the C.D.C. urges you to avoid ones that travel to or from Asia. Personally, as much as I love cruising, it’s a stew of germs in the best conditions.

    If there is an outbreak in your town, you should practice what’s known as social distancing. That means staying at home, rather than going out and about to movies, sports events and other activities. Schools could close, at least temporarily, and people who can work from home will be encouraged to do so.

    For now, if you and your kids still haven’t gotten a flu shot, get one.

    I’m pregnant. Should I be concerned about Coronavirus?

    Yes, but no more than you would be about coming down with the flu. During pregnancy, your immune system can be depressed, which makes you more susceptible to complications from viruses like the flu and chickenpox.

    There isn’t much information on how the new coronavirus affects pregnancies, though preliminary research suggests it isn’t likely to be transmitted from a mother to her baby through the womb. A study that followed nine pregnant women who were infected in Wuhan found that all of the newborns, who were delivered via cesarean section, tested negative for the coronavirus, and there were no traces of the virus in the mother’s amniotic fluid, cord blood or breast milk.

    The C.D.C. does caution that it has observed miscarriage and stillbirth in pregnant women infected with other related coronaviruses (SARS-CoV and MERS-CoV). A high fever during the first trimester of pregnancy which can happen after infection with the new coronavirus and with illnesses such as a cold or flu can also increase the risk of certain birth defects.

    Let me be honest with you, mom to mom, I’m not a doctor. This is just a lot of research that I found by scouring the internet. The truth is none of us want our children to catch something that we know so little about but panic is not the way to protect ourselves. In reality, I think there are probably a lot more cases we don’t know about because symptoms are mild and comparable to the viruses that we’re used to. Most cases will probably go undiagnosed. My advice is to be cautious. Practice good hygiene. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Take care of your health and maybe spend more time at home with your family during the cold and flu season. Use your common sense and mama intuition. Don’t ransack the stores and buy out all the TP, Clorox wipes and face masks because then people that need them won’t have them. It’s not the apocalypse people. It’s scary because it’s new. Be careful and be safe.

  • My Dream Mother’s Day this Year is Different than You’d Expect

    My Dream Mother’s Day this Year is Different than You’d Expect

    Normally, for Mother’s Day, all I want is a day of peace and rest. The kids leave me alone (except for hugs and kisses in the morning) and the Big Guy assumes 100% of all the parenting and household duties. This has been my dream Mother’s Day for many years and I’ve been living the dream.

     

    I’ll gladly accept homemade cards, baubles and gift cards for massages. I love all of those things. But mostly I love sleeping in, no bickering, not having to do dishes or cook or think. I love binging R-rated movies and blasting the music that I want to listen to as loud as I want. Now if a cleaning fairy would just show up and dust and fold all the clothes (and put them away).

     

    However, this year is different. Monday I was told I’m sick. Really sick. Life-threateningly sick. So this year, while I would love to sleep in and have no bickering or do any menial household chores, I mostly want to enjoy my family because that I’ll always be here is not a given. That I can send them into another room while I binge Netflix alone isn’t what I want. This year, I feel like I can’t take anything for granted.

     

    Maybe I won’t be secluding myself this year, as I’ve done for many other Mother’s Days. I won’t be over planning or trying to fit someone else’s expectation of what Mother’s Day is supposed to look like either. I don’t want roses or brunch at the Waldorf, I just want to relax and not have to be anywhere or do anything. I want to live a day at my leisure with no responsibility and yes, this year, I want it to be with my family.

     

    I want snuggles and cuddles and kisses and hugs. I want talking and laughing and enjoying one another’s company. I want memories and nostalgia and never letting go. I want to be a Mother because not everyone gets to.

     

    There is no right or wrong way to celebrate motherhood. For each of us, it is different. For all of us, it’s personal. Each mother is beautiful and special in her own way and each family celebrates differently. The important thing is that we take the time and savor the moment, reflecting on the honor it is that we are blessed to have children and they are blessed to have us because without one another, what would we be?

     

    This weekend, we’ll be celebrating in a way that is us. Saturday, we’re taking a short road trip to see Cirque du Soleil’s Corteo and I’m super excited because it’s in the middle of the day so I don’t have to worry about early mornings or late nights.

     

    Sunday, I’ll sleep in until I wake up then head to mass because this mama can use all the God she can get these days. Then, home for a healthy brunch cooked by the Big Guy. It will be a designated bickering-free zone for the day, so the lovely tween and teen will have to abstain from killing one another. Followed by watching movies, a nap, a family walk, and a delicious, yet healthy, dinner. Then, Game of Thrones and a back rub. Maybe I’ll even throw a long bath in there somewhere. I haven’t had a soak in years. Sounds like perfection to me. I know, I’m pretty specific but this is what my dreams are made of these days.

     

    Anyways, that’s my dream Mother’s Day 2019. Normally, it’s to be alone so if that is your perfect Mother’s Day, I am not mad at you. We are the same people. This year, I have a different perspective and every moment with my girls counts so this is where we are…spending the day in peace and love with my family. Here’s hoping it all plays out.

     

    What’s your dream Mother’s Day? If you could do anything in the world on Mother’s Day what would it be?

  • Lacey Spears is No “Mommy Blogger” Murderer

    Lacey Spears is No “Mommy Blogger” Murderer

    The news is reporting that a 26-year-old upstate New York mom, Lacey Spears, has been arrested and pleaded not guilty to charges of second-degree murder and first-degree manslaughter in the death of her son, Garnett.

    Garnett, Lacey Spears’ 5-year-old son died in January and hospital workers found toxic levels of sodium in his blood. The accusation is that Lacey was intentionally giving her little boy high amounts of salt, even when he was hospitalized. Garnett had been hospitalized many times throughout his young life.  Spears took Garnett to the hospital on January 17, 2014 and then on January 19th and allegedly administered sodium directly into a stomach tube. An investigation also revealed that Lacey Spears had searched the Internet to study what effects large amounts of salt would have on the body of a child and allegedly asked an acquaintance to discard of an IV bag that had salt residue in it.

    On January 20th, Garnett was alert. On January 23rd, he died and Lacey Spears posted to social media, “Garnett the great journeyed onward today at 10:20 a.m.,”

    Lacey Spears, Garnett Spears, Munchausen by proxy, poisoning, sodium, child killer

    The media is crying Munchausen by Proxy syndrome, claiming that this “mommy blogger” ( though she only ever wrote 2 posts) slowly poisoned her child out of her own sick desire to be needed as his caregiver, to get sympathy from others and to gain traffic for her blog ( yeah, the blog with 2 posts). This could be true. Everyone is also suspicious of her need to report everything on social media. Alert the presses, a new mom is posting about everything her child does on social media in 2014.

    This alone does not a murderer Lacey Spears make.

    Hello, it’s 2014, most moms are reporting every poop their child takes on social media. It has become second nature and if documenting her son’s struggles on social media is a crime, well, let’s just say, she’s not the only one guilty. We all KNOW people who’ve snapped an ER photo and uploaded to Instagram or reported on their child’s sickness on FB, Twitter or their blog. Is it in poor taste? Hell yeah. Does it deduce murder? I’m not sure.

    Me, I don’t know her. Maybe she killed her little boy on purpose or maybe she was desperate and sick and accidentally killed him. What I do know is that her son is dead. What I also know is that Lacey Spears was not a mommy blogger. I am offended that the media keeps calling her one because they are only doing it to sensationalize the whole thing. As if the case is not sick enough already ( a little boy is dead, people) but let’s make it even more despicable by alluding to the fact that his mom was always online  and solely for the attention; that she was exploiting her child and his illness for traffic and sympathy. Maybe she was or maybe she was looking for support. I don’t know. I do know that, as a mom who blogs herself, I have turned to the Internet for support many times. This is my tribe. When I miscarried, the Internet was able to support me in a way that the people in my real life could not because I was like an open wound and too fragile to face family and friends in person. The Internet can be a one-sided conversation and sometimes that is just what is needed. The Internet has helped me feel not alone when I was parenting toddlers alone for 2 solid years/5 days of the week because a down economy forced my husband to work and live in another state. The Internet has been my community for 5 years, my blog, Facebook and Twitter are our meeting places. My blog community is my safe place. It offends me that the media is trying to make the entire thing out to be a seedy group of deviant parents who neglect their children and use the Internet as a place to validate their own bad behavior.

    Maybe she really was just a worried mother, he was her baby, maybe she made poor choices and went too far. Maybe she was young, single and alone and didn’t know what to tell her son when he asked where his dad was. Maybe his dad was a tool who didn’t want to be a daddy. Maybe a lie to soften the blow on the heart of a small child was the best she could do or maybe she was plain crazy and so afraid of losing the only person she knew truly belonged to her that she did poison him to keep him dependent on her. Maybe it went further than she had intended? I don’t know and I am assuming most of you don’t either but people are calling her names, remarking on her son’s long hair, her short hair, and the story she told her son about who his father was.

    What we know is a sweet, innocent little boy is dead and ,whether killed accidentally or on purpose, if she did indeed poison him his mother has to live the rest of her life knowing she had something to do with that. If she did kill him on purpose, she is a monster. The more I have read about the case, she seems to be prone to lying and somewhat delusional. She needs mental help. I’m praying it was all an accident, but I fear it wasn’t.

    The one thing I know for sure is that a little boy died and lived in a very painful way and that breaks my heart but that is all I truly know about this case and my heart doesn’t want to believe that a mom could intentionally kill her only child, especially in such a long, drawn out and painful way. Rest in peace, sweet Garnett.

    This whole Lacey Spears situation deserves a giant throat punch.

    Lindsay Spears, Garnett Spears, Munchausen by proxy, poisoning, sodium, child killer

  • No rest for the weary

    It’s the middle of the day, nap time, normally the time of day that I work out or clean up the house. Not today. Today, I woke up sick. I feel absolutely horrible, like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. But I can’t nap because God knows both of my girls won’t nap at the same time.Why is it that Us Mommies can move mountains for our children but when it comes to ourselves, we are human and susceptible to all life has to offer:) When my husband and children are sick, I coddle them and do everything possible to make them comfortable but when I am sick, too bad so sad for me. Exhausted,achey, sneezy , coughing, yucky….those are just a few of the adjectives that I am feeling right now.When do I get to be babied and rest? Now, back to my place in front of that Mack truck!

    -Truthful Mommy xoxo

  • Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 20 ~Be nice to someone; Pay it forward

    Today’s Be A Better Me (You ) Challenge- Day 20 ~ Be nice to someone; Pay it forward is something that probably goes against nature for most of us. I know we’ve all heard it a million times from our parents, and most of us spend a lot of time repeating it to our children; you know the golden rule; Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I don’t know about you but I have a hard enough time trying to survive my own Mommyhood. To say that I actively try to be nice to others is well, quite frankly, more effort than I can give on most days. It sounds awful. I know. I like to think I am a good person and but I don’t go out of my way to do unto others. Usually, I just put my head down, hold my breath and hope no one notices that I am in the room.I do volunteer for things and I like to think I am being my best version of myself but I am not going that extra mile. I do nice things for family and close friends but nothing compared to what I could or more importantly “should” be doing. I have a couple girlfriends who will go out of their way to put a smile on others faces. Multiple times I have been sick, or the kids have been sick, or sad, and these two women will bring food, activities to engage the children and get their mind off of being sick, random things just to let us know that they care, etc. They truly do let their actions speak louder than their words. I want to be them when I grow up. So, I have decided rather than be envious of their virtue and generosity , I need to do as they do. I am going to pay it forward. I am going to start living the golden rule. They have reinstilled my faith in humanity and I think I would be a much better and happier person if I could do as others have done unto me. Misery enjoys company but I think happiness is contagious. Here’s hoping I can be contagious. Let’s start a movement…Random act of kindness your ass off. I want to be the example that I want to see in the world.

  • Truthful Tuesdays; May 25, 2010

    Time to unload Ladies! Seems I am not great at the memes per say but I have decided there are two weekly posts I will revisit..Tuesdays are for being super honest and unloading all the bullshit that is weighing me down (metaphorically speaking of course) and Thursday will be for throat punching and ass kicking any and all imbeciles who are deserving of such treatment. It’s cathartic and I need some catharsis in my life! So let’s commence with the unloading of the proverbial bullshit! Remember, no judgment. You hear me Judgy McJudgement? I’m talking to you! If that’s what you’re here for, turn around and walk away. This is for us to feel better, lighter, healthier and happier not guilty! Boo to guilt!
    I am sick of feeling guilty about not exercising! There I said it! I do love to  like   not absolutely hate to exercise, but I hate getting started. Seriously, its such a pain in my ass to get into the gear and locate the workout dvd, shoo the girls out of my way and fully engage! Of course that brings us to point #2, I am sick of worrying about my weight. Look, I’m not going all 900 lb. mom on you or anything ( love the TLC specials) but damn is there ever a moment when women can just let that go. Seriously, I know it will never happen but for once I’d love to look in the mirror and say “PERFECT!” No matter the size or shape I am ( and believe me I think I’ve seen them all) I am NEVER satisfied. There are days when I am more or less satisfied than the previous day but never just completely happy with what I look like. I just want to get off this roller coaster…I don’t want to perpetuate this madness. HELP!!! Dr. Phil…can you fix me? Can you say body dysmorphic disorder? Enough already! Sheez!!!!
    Next, I am so monstrously sick of all the complete idiots that have been allowed to procreate and interact with children as of late! Between the Texans who don’t watch their children, the men in Bangkok using the kids as human shields, the bullies in New Hampshire, and the teacher in Texas beating the student in Houston, ( all in the last couple of weeks) I am seriously becoming afraid to watch the news. That’s to say nothing about sending my children out into the world with these people !Hell, I’m getting pretty afraid to go out there myself knowing what kind of imbeciles are roaming free in the world.What is this world coming to? Can we get some protection over here from the morons? They are loose and coming for our children!
    One more thing, is BP ever going to get a hold on this oil spill? My God…how bad does it have to get before they actually fix this disaster? Hasn’t Louisiana been through enough?
    On a positive note, in complete honesty, my husband and girls are pretty much awesome this week! That could have something to do with the fact that my husband is keeping a safe distance  4 hour travel time between us and I’ve pretty much been giving into all the whims of my girls this week. I’m just too damn exhausted to fight them. I wonder if this is how all wars are won? Oops, hope I didn’t speak to soon!Shhh! Maybe nobody heard!
    Now its your turn! Time to bear your soul and unburden yourself! Happy Mothering!

  • Throat Punch Thursday: Mean Girl Edition

    Well, there is an abundance of candidates this week for Throat punch Thursday, as you can see from my previous CNN streaming posts. Apparently, the world is coming to an end with all these maniacs on the loose. I really was a tortured soul trying to decide who was the biggest douche bag this week and deserved the coveted and well deserved throat punch. You know the Lopez family who brutalized that little 5 month old? Well, they were the forerunner. I really thought they had it in the bag. Then ,something more personal came along.You see, in the right hand column of my blog I post the blogs that I personally love. These are not just blogs that follow me or that giveaway the best prizes, no these gals are my support system. They are who I turn to when I need understanding, a good laugh, wit, but mostly sisterhood. Other Mommies who I can relate to and are pretty damn good writers as well. That’s why I feature them in that column under the header “BLOGS I LOVE”. They exemplify sisterhood and what Motherhood is really about… being able to laugh at yourself and enjoying the journey, all the while letting other Mommies know they are not alone in this craziness and that its ok to be human. We all write our blogs for different reasons; for some its just to chronicle their childrens lives, some its  a business opportunity a way to feel useful and contribute to the family finances, for some its catharsis, some its for sisterhood, for some its to expand their writing horizons and for others its for all of thee above. No matter the reason, they are sharing their lives. WE share our successes and our stumbles so that others may know that they are not alone and being imperfect is all a part of being a good parent. We offer the most precious thing we have to offer, we give ourselves. It’s humbling and freeing. When the feedback is good, we feel amazing and when it is bad,we take it personally. No grudges, normally, but it still stings the soul just a bit. There are ways to do things without being an asshole. You know what I mean. A backhanded compliment is always better than a “YOU SUCK!” It’s rude, even if you’re not trying to be. My point being the winner of the Throat Punch goes to the reader who commented on a fellow bloggers site and told her “Not to be Rude” ( that’s never good) then the comment went on to state  that the blog isn’t up to the standard it used to be and this person is concerned that she is going to lose followers.Wow! When did we get the blog police? Or maybe she is just a concerned citizen making a citizens blog arrest. If the lady really cared maybe she should have asked.”Are you OK? From your blog, I know you’ve been sick and so has your child. Feel better!” But to kick someone when they are so obviously already not feeling well, that’s big time douchery in my book! To make it even worse, the commenter doesn’t even have her own blog. So, she has no idea what it takes to maintain a blog. She probably isn’t even a Mom, explaining why she has no tolerance for a busy Mommy with a sick baby! I know that when we open our lives up to people in our blogs we are inviting them in. It’s like”Hey come on in, have a seat , lets drink some coffee ( or wine) and have a chat!” It’s pretty rude, when they come in and throw the coffee in your face, flip the table and say “What a dirty house! Can’t you get up off your lazy ass and clean once in awhile!” Not to be rude, but I’m just saying! So, this weeks Throat Punch goes to the anonymous reader who left the shitty comment for the sick Mommy blogger( the operative world being Mommy. I mean how much do we have on our plates just raising our little pieces of perfection. Do we really need to be insulted that we are dropping the ball elsewhere?)! Shame on you! Now, come over here so I can punch you in the throat!

  • Girls and their Daddies

    A couple of years ago for Christmas, Bella ( then 3) wanted to tell her Papi why she loved him. It was her special gift to him ( and it really was. It brought he and I both to tears). Today, of all days, I stumbled across it and it seems apropos to share with you all here today. So, In the spirit of Father’s day here is Bella’s List from Christmas 2008.

    Top 20 things that I love about my Papi
    Christmas 2008
    • I love when you take me outside and play in the snow.
    • I love when you take me with you to get groceries.
    • I Love you because you love me!
    • I love when you play Barbies with me and use funny voices.
    • I love when you paint with me and teach me how to draw.
    • I love when you dance Wiggles dance contest with me and sissy.
    • I love when you count with me.
    • I love when you decorate the Christmas tree with me and take us to see Christmas lights.
    • I love when you play camping with us inside our Hello Kitty tent.
    • I love when you help me clean my room and straighten my bed.
    • I love when you make gingerbread houses with us.
    • I love when you kiss my booboos and use Dora bandaids.
    • I love when you watch the Nutcracker and dance with me.
    • I love you when you hug me when I am sad.
    • I love when we play dress up and you tell me I am pretty.
    • I love when you watch frosty with me and drink hot coco.
    • I when you come and sleep in my bed with me when I have nightmares about Chickens ( and Lemurs)
    • I love when we all take family naps together and you cuddle with me.
    • I love you when you drive all the way to my favorite mall to get me spicy chicken.
    • I love when you do nice things for me, like bring me surprises and play outside with me in the summer.
    Most of all,I love you because you’re the best Papi I never  (ever in Bella speak) saw!
    This list pretty much sums up the eyes with which my girls view their Daddy, every day. He is an amazing Father. He lives to make his girls ( luckily that includes me as well) smile and their sadness moves him to tears. I am blessed to be married to a man whose heart and personality can fill a room.Words can not convey the love I feel for him when I see him with our daughters.  He’s a real trooper too. The girls and I had planned to go all out for Father’s Day, unfortunately, imagine my surprise when both girls got sick this weekend. Daddy got to spend Father’s Day weekend, helping me tend to sick feverish children at all hours of the night. The girls looked at him all weekend with adoration as he helped administer meds and give luke warm baths, and carry sickly babies from couch to bed and back again.And I have never found him to be quite so sexy as he was helping me this weekend. Sorry you had to spend your Father’s Day in the trenches,baby, but I sure did appreciate it.We love you honey, more than you will ever know! I’m sure next years list will include: 
    I love you when you take care of me when I am sick!
    Happy Father’s Day to all the fantastic Fathers in your lives!