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karma,Starbucks, starbucks effect, random acts of kindness,kindness

Have you ever heard of the Starbucks effect?

I’m not referring to the theory that Starbucks will boost the price of your home, but that is a thing. I’m talking about the kindness of strangers.

“Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you,” it’s the Golden rule. I’ve heard it since I was a little child. It boils down to this… put out into the world what you want to get back. It’s karma for those so inclined.

In my 20’s I was self-centered, everything was about me. When I got married, I had my first experience of occasionally putting someone else’s needs and wants before my own. Then I had children and putting others before myself has become my full-time job.

Over the years, I’ve found myself doing more good but still that selfish little voice in my head kept asking, “When’s it my turn? When will someone do something nice for me?” I just sort of got tired of always giving of myself. Now that I think of it, I wasn’t giving so much as having it taken. I did nice things because I felt it was expected.

Then my perspective of the world changed, we moved to Chesterfield, VA and I was on the receiving end of several random acts of kindness from complete strangers. These women changed my perception of the world. For the first time, aside from my parents, someone was doing something kind for me with absolutely no expectation. It was so out of my ordinary that at first, I was suspicious. What did they really want?

I decided, then and there, that while I cannot control how someone else responds or reacts to my kindness or goodwill, I would live by the good rule because I’m responsible for my behavior. I can put all the good I want into the world but I had to let go of my expectation that the others would reciprocate, care or even appreciate my act.

Then, I had an epiphany. Who cares if they don’t appreciate it? I feel good when I do good so I’m doing good. I let go of the whole idea of putting good out there so good would come back to me and then it did.

I believe that our simple acts of kindness that we do throughout the day, they cause ripples and eventually we get caught in the tide of our own ripples so next time you find yourself deciding whether you should take an extra second to hold the door for a stranger, smile back at someone for no reason at all, give a dollar to a homeless person or share on an opportunity or helpful advice with someone who you think might be a good fit or need it, just do it. Don’t over think it. You can’t control what others do with the gifts you give but you can take joy in knowing you cared enough to give the gift and tried to help someone else.

I know everyone says this and I know many of us don’t immediately see the effects of our good deeds and that may leave you wondering, why bother? Let me tell you a little story.

I once received a cup of coffee in one of those Starbucks lines, when the person ahead of me paid for my latte. It was the first time this had ever happened to me and I had no idea this was a “thing” or that there was a “protocol”, so I took my latte, said thank you and was happy for the rest of the day. The more I thought of it, I realized that I should have paid it forward and bought the person’s behind me. It was what was probably expected.

Last week, I finally paid it forward. I ordered my Oprah Chia Latte, pulled up to pay and then said, “ I’d like to pay for the person behind me too!” Then I looked in my rearview mirror, and saw it was another mom. She looked exhausted and I saw myself in her. I pulled away feeling good. I felt good for rest of my day and it only cost me $4.50. I mean, who knew happiness was so damn cheap? I’m hoping that my simple gesture brightened her day, at the very least I saved her $5.00, right?

The thing is last week I got 3 new freelance jobs and scheduled an interview for another job. Maybe it was coincidence but I’d like to think that my little ripple has caught me in its tide. I put out into the world what I wanted so, guess what I did this morning (what I will be doing every Monday morning)? I bought another person a cup of coffee and I saw her smile in my rearview mirror when she pulled up to the window and she didn’t have to pay and THAT made my day. If I can brighten someone else’s day by such a simple gesture, why wouldn’t I do it every single time I can?

What random acts of kindness do you do when no one is looking?

I get that buying Starbucks for someone won’t change the world,  but it might change someone’s day and that’s enough reason for me.

 

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Las Vegas, Consumer Electronics Show, Vegas, Tech, CES, #CES2015

Last week, I attended CES! CES!!!! I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to attend. Just me and about 170,000 other tech junkies descended upon Las Vegas. It was my first time; I was a CES and a Vegas virgin. Talk about go big or go home? WOWZA!

I could go on for days, hell, weeks, writing about this experience but I will start by giving you the jist of what it feels like to attend CES, it’s like climaxing and then despite your better senses continuing on, in that crazed, hyper sensitive, overwhelming feeling of pleasure and pain overload but you still want more….more….more…THAT.IS.CES!

The next thing you know, your feet are on fire, you drank too much at some VIP event because you forgot you weren’t 21, you want all the tech, you’ve been up til 5:30 eastern time every night because you are so jet-lagged. You really don’t know what time it is anymore and then you find yourself so overwhelmed after 3 days of walking in the dessert of lights with that ginormous fucking badge that weighs twelve pounds that you hit a wall (figuratively not literally, though if you are tired enough you might do that too.)

You’ve seen more hookers than you ever have on HBO real sex and Taxi Cab confessions combined, been given directions by a Mexican Elvis who requests a selfie with you and seen and heard gadgets that have blown your mind.

Next thing you know, there you are crying, stranded in the airport in Dallas, your flight’s been cancelled because of “weather” and you were the dumb ass who “voluntarily” checked your carry on because some smiling flight attendant asked politely in Vegas and when you ask the flight attendant in Dallas to help you find your much needed luggage, she rolls her eyes at you (ROLLED.HER.EYES.AT.ME!!), scolds you and turns you into a sniveling, sleep deprived ball of snot in the middle of the Dallas/Fort Worth airport with TSA eyeballing you like you just smuggled in heroine ( or maybe it was that new Vibe selfie flash) in your anal cavity.

Speaking of strange and weird shit happening, as a stranded traveler living my own personal version of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, I ended up in a shuttle with 1) a gentleman from California who happens to be the boss of one of our closest friends from college, who now lives in Colorado but originates from Chicago 2) an ex-lobbyist turned UCLA Poli Sci Professor who has a reoccurring roll on Hawaii 5.0. This trip was all about the surreal.

Finally, around 10 p.m. Texas time, there I was wearing my new scarf as a sarong, in 20-degree weather while washing my panties and yoga pants out in the sink so I had clean clothes to wear the next day. I did this all by hand. A friend told me that MANY people use the in room coffee makers to wash their unmentionables. I didn’t but think twice before you use those to make coffee. That “weird” taste might be someone else’s ass.

Anyways, aside from all the drama of the flight home, CES is awesome. Being that it was my first time there are some things that I wished I would have known going in, so I am sharing them here with you. Yes, I will get to all the really, cool shit I saw tomorrow.

 

  • Wear Comfortable shoes. Repeat after me…WEAR.COMFORTABLE. SHOES! Save your cute shoes for nighttime events. Wearing cute heels to CES means that you are either certifiable, dead from the waist down or a hooker. Go away, P.S. even TOMS can wreak havoc on the feet of sensitive soles. Let’s just say, I somehow managed a blister the size of my baby toe on top and on bottom of said baby toe. I was crippled, people. Gym Shoes, UGGs, Frye Boots, COMFORT PEOPLE but please NO CROCS ALLOWED. If you wear crocs the homeless people will make fun of you.
  • Register early to avoid fees.
  • Pick your badge up at the airport, the line is quicker than at the hotels. But if you are PRESS ( as I was) go to the PRESS kiosk or you may find that your badge was given to someone named Donald.
  • Cabs are expensive and traffic is horrible in Vegas. Take the shuttles. It’s $8 one way or $14 round trip. Very cost effective.
  • If you are a single woman who is looking for love with a nerdy, highly intelligent, somewhat wealthy, possibly a gamer, with a great BIG sexy brain… this is your heaven. The men outnumber the women about 9 to 1. STEM PEOPLE. This needs to be a priority with our girls.
  • Have a plan. Vegas is huge and there were 170,000 attendees and 3600 booths. You do the math. There is no way you can cover every booth in 5 days. It’s not possible. Make a plan.
  • Forget about passing out your cards. This is not a blog conference. Get cards. Give cards if asked or if there is a spot to leave them.
  • Network at events and smaller venues. You are not going to stand out at CES unless you are naked or wearing crocs. Wait, I stand corrected, you are not going to stand out at CES unless you are wearing crocs.
  • Walk the strip. You have to. It’s beautiful at night. Also, #Highroller. It’s bigger than the London eye and the view is not only natural it is fucking spectacular!
  • Schedule down time. I am serious, if you do not, you will hit a wall and end up in your room in the middle of the day in your pjs, eating a slice and taking a nap against your own will. P.S. It’s really hard to network when you are delirious from sleep deprivation.
  • Also, speaking of naps, get some sleep. I’m one of those people who physically get ill after a certain point of no sleep. I have insomnia so my threshold is pretty high but if I stay up past 3:30 a.m., I will literally get nauseated. I guess my body decides it’s had enough and it’s shutting down.
  • Don’t over schedule yourself. I made the rookie mistake of making lots of booth tour appointments. I was just so flattered to be asked but I will tell you, then you find yourself rushing around and not enjoying things. CES is all about flexibility; you need to be able to spend time where you find your interests.

My takeaway, have a plan but be flexible. Wear comfortable shoes and clothing that you can stay comfortable in for 12 + hours. Be prepared to walk because I walked about 15,000 steps every day I was there. Be spontaneous. There are so many cool gadgets and tech and people that you never know where the day might take you and if you have the option, take a friend. Life’s never quite so overwhelming when you have someone with you to help you conquer the world.

If you love playing with gadgets like I do or just love being in the tech know, when given the chance attend CES. It is awesome. Come back tomorrow and I will tell you all about the great new tech gadgets coming out this year.

Were you at CES this year, if so what was your favorite new gadget?

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starbucks, red cups, #MerryChristmasStarbucks, Christianity, coffee, Christianity

I don’t drink Starbucks coffee that often because honestly, it usually tastes a little burnt and I prefer my Nespresso but the other day, on the way to physical therapy we stopped in for a chai latte and I noticed the cup was red which to me signaled my brain that it was the start of the holiday season.

A couple days later I saw a video that was being circulated around the Internet, Joshua Feuerstein, an Arizona-based evangelist who describes himself as a “social media personality,” was up in arms because the cup was too minimalist for his liking.He posted on his Facebook page that this year’s spartan red cup illustrated Starbucks’ dismissal of Christmas as a Christian holiday in favor of political correctness. He went on to crack jokes and decided to fight against the “war on Christmas” by giving his name as “Merry Christmas” when ordering. To really stick it to “the man” he wore his Jesus shirt and carried his concealed weapon into Starbucks. (I found that part the most offensive and scary myself).

In the video, Feuerstein says that Starbucks “wanted to take Christ and Christmas off of their brand new cups. That’s why they’re just plain red.” Feuerstein said that instead of boycotting the coffee chain, he wanted to start a “movement,” so he went into a Starbucks–with his gun, as Arizona has an open-carry law and Starbucks has not outright banned firearms–ordered a hot drink, and told the barista that his name was “Merry Christmas,” which was subsequently scribbled on his red cup.

“So guess what, Starbucks? I tricked you into putting Merry Christmas on your cup,” Feuerstein said in his video. He urged his Facebook followers to do the same. The video has been watched about 12 million times and nearly 500,000 people have shared it.

Anyways, the video and verbiage in it made me feel like maybe the entire thing was a marketing stunt on Starbucks’ behalf, honestly. Anyways, I carried on and then I began to see all sorts of social media posts about some people being outraged that “Christmas” had been removed from Starbucks and then the rest of the people were outraged that the Christians were outraged. It quickly escalated to religious persecution by way of making a mountain out of a molehill.

Me, I am a Christian of what some might say is the worst kind, a Catholic, and this is what I think. If you don’t like Starbucks’ cups or you feel that they are stepping on your right to religious freedom, don’t buy their coffee. Don’t give them your money if you are so offended. But what I don’t say is to get over it because if it bothers you and is important to you, then draw your line in the sand. Mine however is not over coffee cups. That, my friends, is not the deciding factor to my ever-lasting salvation. I get my religion at mass and at home, I don’t need it on my coffee cup for validation.

On the other hand, if you feel that you can tell the Christians to get over their butt hurt over the cups, I hope you are not one of those ridiculous people who enjoy the benefit of all the Christmas holiday rituals (and time off) but don’t actually believe in or celebrate the birth of Jesus (yes, I already know that is not his actual birthday. I have the History channel.) P.S. A holiday tree is not a real thing people. It’s a Christmas tree. You can’t have your anti-Christian beliefs and celebrate Christmas too. Well, you can but then that makes you kind of an asshole.It’s like pretending to be homeless for the free food.

Like it or not, Christmas is a religious observance holiday and if you don’t believe in the religion then you shouldn’t be celebrating the holiday. If you want to celebrate the winter solstice or whatever, fine but it’s not Christmas so lets not pretend that we are celebrating the same thing. Celebrating “Christmas” and not being a Christian is the same as having a quincinera and not being a 15-year-old Latina girl or having a Bat Mitzvah and not being Jewish. These are religious celebrations. Christmas (not Winter Solstice) is a religious celebration.

So while you’re making fun of the Christians being up in arms over their coffee cups, I’ll be over here at drop off sipping my Chai Latte minding my own business. And if anyone wants to wish me a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanza I will happily accept it because even though I may not celebrate all of those holidays, I do accept well wishes and good tidings from all. I will smile and I will thank you because I don’t think you are trying to convert me. In my mind, you are saying, “Debi, live long and prosper!”

Are red cups worth getting upset over to me? No. It’s a cup, people. But if it really offends you, you have every right to not buy your coffee from Starbucks and I can respect that because I am an adult and as long as you’re not making the decisions for me, it’s not my business.

When did we start living in a world where people feel like they have to run every single thought, word and coffee cup design through a filter before they say it out loud? Stop that. I’d rather I know you, the real you, no matter who you are than only know some diluted, politically correct version of you. By over thinking every single word that comes out of our mouth, we are diminishing any hope of establishing true human connections.

Be happy, people. Just be yourself and let others be.

Do you find the Starbucks Red Cups offensive and why?

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Father's Day, Gift Guide

Can you believe Father’s Day is just around the corner? It kind of snuck up on us, to be honest.  What with the coronavirus pandemic, not knowing what day, week or month it is and being fully emerged in the fight for equality, things have been upended here and the new normal is absolutely not normal but the Big Guy really is one hell of a dad and husband so I really wanted to make Father’s Day special for him.

READ ALSO: What Makes a Good Father and How to Be a Good Dad

But what do you get the man who has everything? It’s not like when the girls were little, no one is having to wait months on end to try to piece together a free night out or save up for a new video game. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been quarantined for the last 4 months so we’ve pretty much been doing as we pleased…well, within the confines of our house because who’s going out? Maybe a cool new mask that’s better suited for the summer months, just to say we care. You’re not alone in this quandary.

Father’s Day Gifts that every dad will love

1. Well, he’s the dad of a couple of teenage girls so first on the list is no bickering. Like seriously, we love these girls more than life itself but when they start bickering with one another, it pretty much sounds like cats screeching their nails down a chalkboard. So silence could definitely be a gift.

2. But that’s probably not going to happen because they are my children and we’re talkers what can I say. So maybe we use the words for good instead of evil and tell the man how much he means to us. The girls can make cards and tell the man how great he is. Me, I’ve got this here blog that I’ve been cultivating for 11 years so here goes (I’m using my words)

Babe, you are the wind beneath my wings. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, you elevate me and me and give my soul, my heart and my mind the freedom and support to fly. You are the best husband and father anyone could have ever asked for and probably better than I deserve on most days.  I know it’s hard being the only man in a house full of women but you are the best girl dad I’ve ever seen and our girls are blessed to have you, as am I. Thank you for all that you do for all of us. Thank you for your unconditional love and support. We love you to the moon and back and infinity and beyond.

 

  1. Bake Me a Wish

The Big Guy has a serious sweet tooth sometimes and what’s more delicious than gourmet bakery gifts? BakeMeAWish.com, is a leading national online gifting company.  5% of all purchases will be donated to the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund. Bake Me A Wish! guarantees overnight delivery for those last-minute gifts! Let me tell you, I sampled the tiramisu cake and one of their gorgeous gift baskets and it was a winner in our house.

Even though we may not be able to celebrate alongside dad this year, receiving a bakery gift is a special way to let dad know how much he’s appreciated this Father’s Day. Bake Me a Wish! offers guaranteed next day delivery, for all the last-minute gift-givers.

To order a gourmet bakery gift for dad and support the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund, please visit www.bakemeawish.com.

   4. Society Socks

Society Socks are cool socks with super cute designs that any dad would be proud to wear to the office. They offer products with a social cause that are the perfect gift for the stylish dad who has everything. Society Socks are whimsical, comfortable and best of all with every subscription box, you receive 2 pairs of socks and Society socks donate 2 pairs of fun and funky socks to the homeless shelter.

Bonus: They make cool socks for mom too!

   5. Lodge Cast iron for the Outdoorsman

If the dad in your life is a chef or an outdoor chef, Lodge Cast Iron is an unconventional yet perfect way to celebrate Father’s Day. Lodge cast iron is great as versatile indoor grilling cookware but also absolutely perfect for camping trips.

READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gifts for the Great Outdoorsman

As you may be familiar, Lodge Cast Iron has been making heirloom-quality cookware and accessories for over 120 years at its headquarters in South Pittsburg, Tennessee. I’m not normally one for getting appliances or any kind of gift that can be construed as a “chore” but cast iron on a family camping trip is definitely a gift; pancakes on griddles, chili in dutch ovens and pizookies in cast iron skillets. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

   6. Sugarfina for the sweetest dads

Finding the perfect gift for Dad might be a bit more challenging this year, but who says it’s impossible? We’ve put together the SWEETEST suggestions for Dad, Pops, Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle .. Whoever you’re celebrating, Sugarfina has the sweet treats to make this Father’s Day one he’ll never forget!

  • Choco-holic Dad– give him treats as sweet as he is, Coconut Toffee Macadamias
  • Do-It-All Dad– caffeinated sweets will keep his motor running, NEW Cold Brew Cordials
  • Top-Shelf Dad– keep it classy for the dad who’s casually cool

They have gifts for all price ranges; under $35, gifts under $50 and $75? No problem. Sugarfina has you covered.

   7. Give dad the gift of smart surround sound

Apple Homepod speakers for the tech-savvy dad. HomePod is a breakthrough speaker that adapts to its location and delivers high-fidelity audio wherever it’s playing. Together with Apple Music and Siri, it creates an entirely new way for you to discover and interact with music at home. And it can help you and your whole family with everyday tasks — and control your smart home — all with just your voice. There is almost nothing the Big Guy likes better than a smart home.

READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gift Guide for the tech-savvy dad

HomePod combines custom Apple-engineered audio technology and advanced software to deliver precision sound that fills the room. And at just under seven inches tall, HomePod fits anywhere in your home so no cutting into your walls to install speakers. They are sleek and you almost don’t notice them so they will blend right into your home décor.

   8. Father’s Day Spa treatment

I like getting people gifts that they wouldn’t normally buy themselves. The same way that I’m remiss to buy myself anything luxurious unless it’s on a deep discount, the Big Guy doesn’t spend money on taking care of himself. It seems like he only feels comfortable buying what he needs so a luxury like a skincare system is nothing he’d ever stop to get himself. The Thermaderm Father’s Day set is easy-to-use, effective skincare basics, that will have dad looking polished and ready for anything.

The Theraderm Father’s Day Set comes in a smart black travel bag, great for guys on the go, and keeps it simple with three effective products that will keep skin clean and youthful.

 Kick-off every day with the Theraderm Cleansing Wash to get rid of all unwanted oil and dirt without drying out the skin. Suitable for face, body, and even hair, this non-irritating cleanser is perfect for dads with busy schedules. The Cleansing Wash is gentle, yet thoroughly penetrates all the way to the center of the hard keratin in hair and can get unruly manes and even beards clean before a shave.

 The Fruit Acid Exfoliant makes exfoliating quick and ultra-easy. Alpha hydroxy acid works to minimize pores and slough off dead skin cells while evening out skin tone. Packed of lactic acid toner, this product with get dull skin looking dapper after one use.

 Top off this quick routine with the Platinum Protection Facial Sunscreen 43, the magic number for broad-spectrum UV protection because it has the exact amount of active ingredient needed to trap harmful UVA/UVB rays. This oil-free SPF absorbs into the skin quickly and goes on undetected without pilling or stinging the eyes.

Every dad is different and special like giant dad body shaped snowflakes. In the end, all most dads want is a day to feel appreciated and maybe sneak in a much deserved and long-overdue nap. Just gift from the heart something that will be meaningful to your dad or husband and it’s sure to be a hit.

 

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Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

I think every family should go RVing before their kids grow up, at least once, if not do like some of my friends and take an entire year to explore. If you want to really connect as a family, for us, there need to be minimal distractions, intimate proximity and the freedom to unplug from the rest of the world. Your priority and attention need to be present with the people who are traveling with you. If there is a beautiful destination involved, a place where you can sit in wonder and awe, even better. This year, we discovered that for us, RVing is the only way to ensure that result.

As many of you know, my family and I are nomads. I could roam the world homeless forever. I was raised that home is where the people you love are and so home for me is wherever the Big Guy and my girls are at. That’s all I need; my health, them and the wide open road. Road trips are my jam; while I love traveling by any means possible, especially to a tropical destination, road trips allow for unexpected adventures that you just can’t plan. Detours and roadside stops or choosing a different path feels a lot like living in your own private choose your adventure game.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

Last month, we had one of the best family vacations of our lives and that is saying a lot. I knew traveling by RV would be fun but I had no idea how much we would all connect. I had no idea how many beautiful memories we would make on this one trip. It was as simple as unplugging, being present and actually seeing the people and places in front of us.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLifeDisclosure: We were provided an RV and a campsite at a destination of our choice by Go RVing but all opinions and memories are our own.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

A screen is a beautiful thing but it pales in comparison to looking up and seeing the ocean. It is garbage compared to human contact and interaction around a campfire at night on a beach beneath the stars. It’s a poor substitute for real life. Virtual has nothing on human interaction.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

The weekend before school started back, we went on a magical end of the summer trip in an RV. I like to sneak in that one last relaxing getaway with my people before schedules get hectic and we’re all neck deep in the minutia of our day to day schedules. Last year, we stayed in a parked RV model in Traverse City, Michigan and we thought that was amazing and it was but it wasn’t the same experience as driving with your family in an RV. Definitely not the same as a road trip in an SUV or car, though, I do love those too.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

READ ALSO: Why RVing is the best family trip

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

We drove 9 hours to the D.C. area to pick up our Winnebago Intent Model 31P before driving another 7 hours to beautiful Camp Hatteras campground in Rodanthe, North Carolina. Talk about style. I’m not sure what I was expecting but this Winnebago exceeded anything I could have imagined. It was almost 32′ in length and could accommodate up to 7 people with bunk beds for the kids. There were only 4 of us, so we had plenty of space.

There was plenty of storage space, both inside the RV and in the under-storage areas for food, toys and games and whatever you want to bring along. There was a television in the sitting area, the back bedroom and even outside, along with a mini-fridge and sink; perfect when you’re grilling and don’t want to miss that special game. For us, the television was perfect for when it rained outside. We’d all snuggle up and watch a movie together before a midday nap. That’s what vacations are for, right? We were sucking every bit of relaxing we could get out of this trip.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

The Outer Banks has always been on my travel bucket list and it was not a disappointment. We can’t wait to go back. There is just something about a vacation by water that is intuitively relaxing for me, especially the ocean.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

There were a ton of things to do at Camp Hatteras from mini golfing, corn hole tournaments, live music, ice cream socials to crafts and karaoke but we were more interested in sunsets on the sound, long walks on the beach, playing in the surf, exploring under the pier and bonfires under the stars right on the beach. You choose your family adventure.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

You could surf, kayak, take a boat out and fish or you could build sandcastles, bathe in the sun and talk to the people on the blanket next to you on Camp Hatteras’ private beach while your kids laughed and ran from the waves. Campgrounds have a whole culture that I never knew about before and the people are all so fun and friendly. The first night we arrived, our site neighbors came out and helped us novice campers hook everything up.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

Cape Hatteras can be as exciting or laid back as you choose. We opted for relaxing togetherness. I took the girls’ phones away. I only used mine for pics. We stopped worrying about ticking boxes and having to be anywhere and we just played it all by ear and it was magical. I seriously can’t recommend it highly enough. If your end goal is to relax on vacation and spend quality time with your family, go RVing.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

There was no running to see sights. It was just high grass, soft sand, blue water, crashing waves and star filled nights with the three people I love most on the planet. It couldn’t get any better than that and yet, it did. There were nights of delivered pizza while listening to the wave crash from our Oceanside site. There was coming in from a scorching beautiful day on the beach to an air-conditioned, all the amenities of home RV including a hot shower and a refrigerator full of ice cream.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLifeREAD ALSO: Ogunquit Maine is the Perfect Place to Eat Cake by the Ocean

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

There were lots of laughs and lots of love. There were so many moments and memories made in the that RV and on that beach that I will never forget. If I close my eyes, I can smell the salt in the air, hear my girls giggling and feel the Big Guys hand in mine as we watched our girls run in and out of the surf, delighted by the different creatures in the sea from rogue crabs to spotting a pod of dolphins off in the distance. I can’t wait for next year’s end of the summer adventure.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

Have you ever taken a family trip in an RV? If not, start planning next year’s trip now. We only get a handful of these precious years of togetherness like this before our kids grow up and the dynamics change. Sure, they will always be our babies but it won’t always just be us and them and they won’t always be as easily contented by spotting a pod of dolphins, splashing under the pier or sitting beneath the stars making s’mores on a starry night with nothing more than the surf and your doting heart.

Why Every Family should Go RVing before your Kids Grow Up, Go RVing, family travel, Cape Hatteras, Camp Hatteras, Rodanthe, North Carolina, Outer Banks, Winnebago, WinnebagoLife

Take advantage of every single moment you can. Go RVing!

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Niagara water, parenting

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if the world was peaceful and there were no wars, no hate, no starving children, no displaced and homeless people? What if there was no poverty, racism or bigotry in the world? What if the world was filled with people who loved people equally no matter the color of their skin, their politics or their religion? What if we could all see past the superficial and get to know our neighbors for who they are and not what they are? Isn’t that a refreshing thought?

The world is a crazy place. It feels like it’s gone completely wild (and not in a good way) and maybe just a little off the rails. Every day, the news is filled with one horrible act after another, each one worse and more gruesome than the last. I want more for the world that I’m raising my daughters in. I don’t want our generation’s legacy to be one of death and destruction so I’ve made my mind up to change it.

I know that a lot of people say that they can’t make a difference because they are only one person but every person counts; each one as equally as the last. In my world that starts with me standing up, being the change and being the example for my children. They are always watching and I want to be my best self for them because that’s what they deserve and that’s who I want to be. I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be but I want my children to see me actively working to be a good person and the best version of myself.

I’m teaching my children to spread love not hate and to embrace, seek out and spread positivity. I know that it sounds almost too simple, right? But honestly, it is the truest thing I’ve ever known. It starts with me teaching them to love and accept themselves and it ends with them knowing that I am always here for them; no matter how old they may be or how badly they may think they’ve messed up. My love for them is unconditional and everlasting and I hope this allows them the freedom to always follow their heart and do the right thing.

My goal is simple; to raise good, tolerant, loving and accepting human beings. I’m raising daughters who strive to be the best them that they can be and to not compare themselves to others because that only leads to jealousy and bitterness. It also leads to feelings of less than and dissatisfaction with one’s self. I don’t expect perfection. I expect them to work hard at what’s important to them and try to reach their goals. The real living happens on the journey not the destination.

We parent focusing on a few very important virtues 1)honesty 2)integrity 3)respect 4) to know that where there’s a will there is always a way and by far the most important, 5) you cannot control other people’s reactions, only your own actions so do good and don’t worry about whether someone else chooses to appreciate it or not. Life is so much better when we accept people for who they are and not who we want them to be. Life is not a competition and no one is keeping score. I want my girls to take the high road, no matter the road others choose because they can’t control others but they can control how they behave and move through this world.

I’m not saying that I am raising my daughters to be people pleasers, there couldn’t be anything further from the truth. I am just raising them to please themselves and to let others live their own lives. We can’t please everyone, nor should we even try but we can choose to be a source of positivity and optimism rather than a source of sadness. We can choose to go high when the world goes low.

Speaking of being a positive and inspirational force in this world, I have partnered with Niagara Water, the brand that takes pride in being about “Water Not Hype”, to share with you their Refreshing Thoughts Sweepstakes.

To enter the Refreshing Thoughts sweepstakes is easy, simply share an inspiring “Refreshing Thought” in a picture on Instagram or Twitter with the hashtag #RefreshingThoughts for a chance to win $1000 and have your quote be featured on Niagara Water packaging.

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Super Bowl, immigrant, immigration, Mexico, border, the wall, Desierto

Ever wonder why an immigrant, illegal or otherwise, really comes to the United States willing to risk his life? Maybe that question is too big, maybe we narrow it down, ever wonder why my dad came to the United States? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not to take anything from you.It’s more about admiration of the freedoms we have and the will to succeed; to achieve the American dream. The freedom to work hard and get ahead in life.

Then ask yourself, if you were desperate, and your child’s life depended on you doing something dangerous, would you do it? What if it were illegal? What if you needed to fast track things in order to save a life? Would you do it? I think we all know the answer is yes. we’d do anything for our children.

I’ve heard a lot of discussions online about immigrants and why many Americans don’t want immigrants here in the United States. People are talking about immigrants like they are not humans but has anyone ever just asked a real, live immigrant,

Super Bowl, immigrant, immigration, Mexico, border, the wall, Desierto

Hey, immigrant why are you here?

If you are not an immigrant, or the son or daughter of an immigrant, or the friend or loved one of an immigrant, maybe you just don’t know and I’m sure it is different for every single person. But I’m happy to share with you my immigrant story. How this freckled Mexican was born on the right side of the wall.

I’ve been quick to judge all of you. I was only seeing things from my perspective, the daughter of an immigrant; a first generation Mexican-American. I never even considered that there are actually people who don’t even personally know any Mexicans. They know of us, apparently our reputation precedes us, but they don’t “know us”; know us.

Super Bowl, immigrant, immigration, Mexico, border, the wall, Desierto

They’ve not grown up with us; eaten dinner at our home, been welcomed by my interracial couple parents and been kissed on the cheek and treated like family. They’ve not had the pleasure of hearing my dad, in his thick Spanish accent, look them in the eye, give them a firm hand shake ( even the most down trodden of our neighbors) and say, “Good to see you, buddy!” Never seen the way family is more than the people you share a last name with; never been willing to risk everything for those people.

They’ve never heard my dad sing Happy Birthday, Las Mananitas and You are my sunshine to my daughters every birthday or seen him grab them and start dancing with them whenever he hears music. They’ve never seen his giant smile and the way he says, “Sonofagun” any time his grandchildren do almost anything because he is so in awe of them.

They don’t know that my dad used to bring homeless people home for dinner that he’d see on his walk home from mass. My mom wasn’t too keen on this practice but that’s the type of guy he is. When he wants to, he’ll give you the jacket off his back if you need it more than he does. He’s the man who wore sunglasses when he walked me down the aisle so no one would see him cry, when he gave me away.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a long time reader of this blog you know that my dad is not perfect. He’s made mistakes but he’s also never been a drug dealer, a rapist or a murderer.

He simply falls into the immigrant category because he was born someplace else.

immigrant, hero

He’s the kind of man who has played the guitar in the church choir since I was a kid. He’s the guy who stopped drinking and now, devotes most of his retirement to not only staying sober but keeping others sober. But he is Mexican. He’s lived in the United States longer than he ever lived there. This is his home but Mexico is where he was born. Mexico is where part of my roots begin.

When all of the political mudslinging started during the campaign, I felt personally attacked because my dad is an immigrant and even though he is not perfect, he has always been a contributing member of society and he raised us to work hard, trust in God and respect our government.

Just because someone is an immigrant, doesn’t mean they are a bad person.

It just means they weren’t born here. They chose to come here. They choose America.

He’s a good man; a good Christian man who reads the bible daily, who has been married to the same woman for 44 years, who has raised 6 children and paid taxes to a country that he loves. The kind of man who plays in the sprinkler with his grandchildren. The kind of man who doesn’t want fame and fortune, he only wanted to be able to give his unborn children a better life than he had; maybe a house without dirt floors, maybe a life where the struggle wasn’t so real.

When people bad mouth immigrants, I take it personally. I feel like the country and the government that my dad loves so much, that we’ve been raised to believe is the best in the world, hated him simply for the color of his skin and by association me, my brothers and sisters and our children; the most precious thing in our lives; family.

The will to succeed is always welcome here.

Those were the words at the end of the Lumber 84, full 6-minute commercial, the one thought to be too controversial for a commercial during the Super Bowl. Those words spoke to me because I was raised by an immigrant who taught me to believe in myself and to know that where there is a will, there is always a way. My father is legal, but is that really relevant to the man he is?

That is all that my immigrant father wanted. The chance to be a member of our society; a chance to give his children a better life. He doesn’t hate Americans. He loves everything about this country. So what are we all so afraid of?

There’s been some confusion about the true meaning behind this commercial. I saw it as a beautiful thing but it seems I didn’t realize that a mother and daughter making their way to a better life is only beautiful if you come through the door. If you can’t find the door, I guess you’re just supposed to give up and live the life you’re doomed to live and I guess, according to Lumber 84, we’re all supposed to be okay with that.

Tomorrow, Desierto is released on DVD, I highly recommend that you watch it then maybe you’ll see why immigrants are more afraid of you than you should be afraid of them.

What’s the difference between the European immigrants that founded this country hundreds of years ago and the Mexican and Muslim immigrants who are trying to make a better life for their children now, besides the color of their skin? Then again, I guess it’s always been hard for immigrants.

What is the difference between an immigrant and you or I, besides a piece of paper?

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wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions but I do try to set goals, aspirations. I want a clear-cut line in the sand of a life that I am working towards and that’s what I do. Every year, I take stock, pencil in a trajectory and set sail on a new year.

This year one of my goals in organization. But I don’t mean organized spice racks and alphabetized books. No, I mean clean and easy to navigate. I guess for me, organized means streamlined and minimalism. I like clean lines and fresh, crisp rooms. I want my home to be open to possibilities.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

For me, one of the first rooms that I want to spruce up this year is my living room. Aside from the kitchen, it’s the room on the first floor that gets the most activity. If the kitchen is the heart of our home, the living room has to be the brain. It’s the room we always use and the one that makes the first impression on our guests.

What does that mean? It means that I really want to get rid of the excess and brighten up the rooms. How am I going to do this? How can you do this? Simple.

  1. Start by getting rid of “stuff”. It’s just stuff and it just takes up space. Like the book says, if you hold it and it doesn’t bring you joy…chuck it. OK, so don’t throw it in the garbage, that’s wasteful but why not go donate it to your local homeless shelter. You’ll clean out your space while giving someone else something they need. It is win-win.
  2. Turner Home has the best selection of High End Furniture in Jacksonville. My furniture is brown leather. It is beautiful and sturdy but it’s too dark. I want light colors and preferably something that doesn’t scratch up every time the dog jumps on it. She obviously thinks that she is human and it’s too late to teach her otherwise so the furniture needs to adapt. I don’t want to buy new furniture because this furniture was expensive and is still in very good shape. I’ve decided that slipcovers might be the perfect solution. They’ve come a long way since the things our parents used and they look beautiful.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change       3. So, I’ve cleaned off the clutter and ordered some beautiful, modern slipcovers but I need to brighten up the room. My house was built in 1977 so there is a lot of dark wood, paneling, shag carpet, and wallpaper. We’ve already ripped up all the floors and put down hardwoods throughout. Next step, paint those horrible brown wood built-ins white. Done and done.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

4. We painted the paneling, yes I did say paneling, a soft butter color and removed the dark window treatments and replaced them with lightweight drapery to allow more sunlight into the room. We are however in the middle of changing the room to lighten it up even further and changing from the soft butter color to a silver on the walls.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

5. To give the room a homier feel, I would suggest adding soft, bright throw pillows and an accent pouf to give the room some movement.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change    6. To add a touch of your own unique personality and make the room your own, I suggest adding some very personally styled art for the walls. Choose something that inspires you and makes you feel happy.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

7. Last but not least, a great way to make the room feel modern yet cozy is to add a light colored throw rug; something in a white, neutral or light grey will do the trick.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

And voila, we’ve gone from 70’s drab right into 2018 modern and chic with lots of bright sunlight. For a little extra coziness, I’m adding one of those super soft chunky yarn blankets.

wayfair, resolutions in decor, room makeover, How to Refresh a Room to Inspire Change

Now, if we can just keep those shelves clean.

What are you doing to your home that will keep you inspired to follow through on your New Year’s resolutions? Cleaned up your office? Installed mirrors in the workout room? Or maybe you organized your pantry to help keep you on a budget?

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On Thursday, it was made pretty clear President Trump doesn’t want poor immigrants from “shithole” countries. His words, not mine. During a meeting in the Oval Office, while discussing with lawmakers the protection of immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan immigration deal, President Donald Trump made some disparaging remarks.

“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump said.

My question is what actually constitutes  “shithole” countries to Donald Trump? How does one qualify as a “shithole”. What is a shithole? Is it the hole in an outhouse? How do you equate humans and countries to a hole in the ground in which people defecate? And just like that Trump doesn’t want poor immigrants from “shithole” countries.

President Trump then suggested immigrants from Norway would be preferable. He also said that he would be “open” to more immigrants from Asian countries because he feels that they could contribute and benefit the United States economically. That felt really old man racist to me but to be fair, he said it was about money.

In addition, president Trump singled out Haiti, telling lawmakers that immigrants from that country must be left out of any deal.

“Why do we need more Haitians?” Trump said, according to people in attendance of the meeting. “Take them out.”

In November, the Trump administration rescinded deportation protection granted to nearly 60,000 Haitians after the 2010 earthquake and told them to return home by July 2019.

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

…but only if they’re from Norway and maybe Asia. We’d prefer you keep your “shithole” people from those “shithole” countries like El Salvador, Haiti and Africa to yourself.

I’d love to say that I’m surprised by these racist remarks President Trump has made but I’d be a liar if I said I was. He’s never pretended to be anything else. He built his campaign on the promise to “Make America Great Again” by building a wall and kicking people out. He’s been openly -ists against many groups of people. The man is not a people person. He is a businessman.

But let’s take a look at this whole “shithole” controversy. Does he mean countries with people of color, third world countries or anyone who is not what he considers good enough; wrong color, race, religion, sex, socio-economic status? He talks about people, human beings, like products; commodities.

In all honesty, I thought it was about race but the more he speaks, I think it may be something bigger. I think he doesn’t like anyone who is not part of elevating him and his agenda. Poor people reflect badly on our country. Why would we want to take in more homeless people who will only contribute to the already astronomical national debt? I think the bottom line is he is all about wealth and excess. I believe if he had his ideal America, it would be a country of beautiful, millionaires who believed the way he does. The working man is the back by which this great country has been built upon but to men like Trump, unfortunately, they are disposable.

There is no room for diversity in Trump’s America and that is what it is, or at least what he is trying to mold it into, “Trump’s America.”

Don’t be surprised that he is being exactly who he promised to be. Some of you voted him into office. Maybe this is your idea of a perfect America. It’s not mine. Maybe you are as disappointed and heartbroken as the rest of us.

In my America, the president is someone to look up to and emulate. He is held to a higher moral standard than the rest of us. He inspires us to be and do better. He is an orator who can move crowds to action of change. He gives us something to believe in. He puts us at ease when we are afraid of outside threats by promising to protect us and taking all the necessary step to ensure our safety. He puts the collective us above himself.

He is a human who respects humanity and strives for equality. He is educated and worldly. His job is to make America the greatest country in the world by making us economically strong, politically succinct, diplomatically beloved and our military respected and revered. He is firm but caring.

His character should be as close to beyond reproach as possible. No president is perfect but like a parent puts their child before themselves in an effort to care for them, this is the same duty of the president for his constituents. It’s not just a job, it’s a calling.  He is the surrogate father of a nation. There is no room for selfishness.

I get that president Trump is human and he has made mistakes. Mistakes the whole world is watching. Stumbling is expected but most of his worst moments are of his own doing. He doesn’t’ care what the world thinks about what he does. He holds himself above the rest of us. That is one of his biggest failures.

Belittling others and rejecting humans begging for help because he deems them to be from “shithole” countries speaks volumes about his character. He has no honor and no compassion for the refugees of the world seeking asylum and protection. Somehow, he seems to not care. I don’t know how someone can even make themselves not care when presented with a hungry, sad human being with no safe place to live. Money has more value to him than human life unless it is his own. This is just my humble opinion as I watch this situation unravel.

I don’t know if he is a bad person or if the power of his position has made him feel untouchable and therefore made him lose touch with reality. What I do know is that many of these actions he has taken, the damage is irreparable. America’s promised ascension towards greatness is being actively thwarted by an ego that has outgrown the man. It is up to every one of us to make better choices and work towards making America great again for all Americans. 

Isn’t it our moral obligation as human beings to help those less fortunate than ourselves?

 

 

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Ever wonder how to teach good behavior to your child? How to instill kindness and compassion? How to raise a genuinely good person? Do you ever think about how you behave when nobody is looking? I never really did. But then I started noticing the people I love when no one was looking.

You see we live in a world where everyone posts everything they do to social media. It’s normal. I’ve seen people, literally, post every single thing they did throughout the day and where they were; even if that included a bath, a workout, crying, drinking coffee or just sitting around doing nothing. Imagine if they did something noteworthy, then they post in triplicate.

The voyeur in me kind of likes it. But the normal me thinks it’s kind of creepy. The mom in me thinks it’s absolutely insane. I’m convinced foursquare and any other geotagging apps are made by pedophiles and stalkers with the sole purpose of snatching women and children. That would be the overly protective helicopter mom in me, speaking just now.

No, what I am talking about has nothing to do with social media, who is watching or anyone else. What I’m talking about has everything to do with good home training, manners, kindness and being a general, good and thoughtful person.  Anyone can pretend to be generous and good for a second in a selfie but what are they doing when no one is watching?

I’m not a stalker but I do play one to my children and occasionally my husband. Wait, that sounded way creepier than I am. What I mean is I notice them when they think I’m not paying attention.

For example, my big girl goes out of her way to open doors for the elderly, help children and smile at strangers. My little one goes out of her way to pay everyone she meets a sincere compliment. She did it once, saw the smile and she does it constantly now. Ask any person, adult or child she has ever met. She also runs to help our elderly neighbors get their groceries in the house.  And my husband, the Big Guy, he sneaks off when we are at restaurants and takes food to the homeless outside.

For years, teachers and parents would tell me how “kind, sweet” my children were and I shook it off as that’s what people say. That’s what you’re supposed to say. But, now I see it and they’ve made me aware that everything we do should be because we want to treat others in the world as we would like to be treated, then the world would be a kinder, better place.

It’s made me think, how do I behave when no one is watching? Am I the same as when I am consciously aware that someone is watching? I’m a mother, so someone is always watching but I asked myself, would I still do the things I do and say the things I say if no one was watching?

In a world where someone is almost certainly always watching, do you thoughtfully move through the world? Are you good because its the right thing to do, because you know someone might be watching or do you just not care and why or why not?

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