So, I read this Wall Street Journal article this morning about “Mommy Business Trip” basically mocking moms who go to conferences because mommies don’t work, right? I will put you out of your misery now and tell you that the deserving recipient of today’s throat punch is the woman, Katherine Rosman, who wrote this article.
The jist of the article is that moms go to conferences and conventions just so they can guilt-free ( as if there is such a damn thing) jet off and leave their “responsibilities” i.e kids and husband to have a girls weekend because what could we moms possibly need “business trips” for?
I don’t know about you but I am the hardest working mommy I know. I clean my house, I cook meals, I fold the fucking laundry, I’m room mother for both classes, I run my kids to all of their classes, school functions and occasions plus I work from home full-time and I am the mother fucking bomb.com. I work and then I work some more and I have the bags under my eyes and fatigue to prove it. I don’t need an excuse to get away. I need an insane asylum for not doing it sooner.
I have not been to any conferences yet because of this very mentality. I can’t leave my family because then what kind of “mom” would I be? What will people think? I’ll tell you what kind of mom I would be…a human one. Man cannot live on bread alone and Moms cannot live on wiping snotty noses, folding laundry and wiping asses alone. It’s lonely at the top and we need a break. And to be fair, I hear a lot of moms bring their kids with them! Yeah, loads of partying goes on when you have a wee one suckling from your teet.
Okay, so I went on my first overnight without my family in January. My oldest is 8, I’ve not been alone in 8 years. 8. YEARS!! Is that even natural? And no, I don’t get to be alone when I shower or pee. I am chaperoned by little people at all hours of the day and night. NO, I don’t even get to sleep without tiny feet kicking me in the back or headbutting me in the face.
I am going to two conferences this year and leaving on my second Press trip in a couple of weeks, during the busiest month of the year for me. I have a daughter getting her first communion, a daughter turning 6, a husband celebrating his 38th birthday, a 14th wedding anniversary to celebrate, Mother’s day, end of the year ballet performances, end of the year violin recitals, the annual neighborhood garage sale, not to mention all of my household chores and my work obligations. I have a lot of shit to get done. Why am I going on this press trip? Because I need some fucking sleep and to talk to adults and maybe, more likely, it will be beneficial to my career in some small way.
I will go to the conferences this year to further my career, to reactivate my brain cells, to make some connections, to better myself and to let my husband have some alone time with our girls. He is just as capable and a lot more patient than me and a better cook and a whole lot more fun. I am going to kick my blog up a notch and yes, to meet some of the wonderful women who I have been friends with for years online. You know, the women who sent my children books to help them through the loss of their beloved dog, the women who cried with me and sent me their condolences when I miscarried last May, the same women who have helped me to learn and grow as a mother and a writer, in my life and in my career; my friends. Is it so wrong that I look forward to seeing them while attending a conference for my work?
I don’t think it’s an excuse to act like an asshole, get drunk and pretend I am single but I also don’t think that I should be punished for choosing to have a family. Why should I be a shut in and not be able to have a career and be with me kids too? Motherhood is not a prison sentence and we are not being punished, we are not on lock down so if we can afford it and our husbands are okay with it, what’s the fucking problem with women ( who happen to have children) attending conferences to better themselves and their careers? I’m sick of these self-imposed guilt trips we adhere to and I am especially sickened when another woman is the chauvinist pig by whose pen the blow is delivered.
The writer of the piece Katherine Rosman, well, I wonder if she’s ever spent any actual time at home with children? My guess is that only a person who has never spent years loving a child and giving their everything to keep them safe and alive and thriving could speak about moms going to blogging conferences or conventions of any sort with such disdain. Dad’s go to conferences and business trips and yes, even guys trips and that is perfectly acceptable but the moment a woman does the same thing, it must be under the guise of some convoluted excuse to escape her family.
Shame on you Ms. Rosman for throwing your sex under the bus for a headline. You receive a well-deserved throat punch. I hope it was worth it to mock moms and make them feel like failures for being human.
What do you think of moms attending conferences and conventions? Are they JUST an excuse to get away from their families and life or are they actually trying to learn something, grow themselves, become better? What do you think of “Mommy Business Trips”?
Okay.. I have a few things to say about this. First.. whoooo! what a bitch! And the first reporter with her “ahem” before business trip. Second.. while I have known (and witnessed) a few women who DO go crazy when they’re at conferences for the most part, they’re the same as they are at home. Without the extra baggage of kids and husband weighing their personalities down. I’ll admit I’m a different person when I’m not around my family. I am this person called Kristen. Not Mommy. Not Honey but the woman formerly known as Kristen and I’m a hoot to be with. Does this mean I don’t care? No. Does this mean that I get all liquored up and dance on bars? No. At least not now that there are cameras everywhere 😉
What about the SAHDs who do the same thing? I don’t see them being lumped into that category. I have a couple of friends where the Dad is the SAH parent and when THEY go out of town, it’s met with “yeah.. I’m sure he needs it”.
And finally… the one thing that is FAR more prevalent with male “business” travelers than women is infidelity. I’m not saying the women don’t do it but I guarantee you that it’s more of a guy thing. My husband witnessed it in his group this week at a … wait for it… conference.
what an absolute f*cktard. I am sorry but for-real…why would any frickin woman in the world write such an idiotic article…she must not have kids, or be a serious partier
Bravo for breaking it down to the truth–this reporter is demeaning a whole profession, and diminishing the truly hard work of building a blogging business while being a mom.
I wrote about it also-as the bedtime story we need to tell our daughters. https://musingsonmotherhoodmidlife.com/2013/04/26/the-revenge-of-the-mommy-bloggers/
Oh this is so so much shit. I hated that she had to write an apology for something that shouldn’t have to be apologized for. Moms do so much everyday and the brief moments we do something that is for us only, it gets shit out. WHY?! And at that, for many moms this IS how they make their living and they learn stuff at these conferences. And what about the fact that we deserve time to relax and unwind like normal humans both for ourselves and the well being of our families? Gah. So stupid.
I travel 2 times a year for work conferences and I don’t have one ounce of guilt about it. My husband travels monthly, sometimes more than once a month, and it is only when I travel that I feel he actually REALLY GETS IT as to what I do every day as a working mom. And he should have a better understanding….it creates compassion and empathy and appreciation which let’s face it, if we don’t feel those things, the marriage is gonna go down the crapper! All moms should go away, whether for work or just to get away with friends, or both, to let them recharge and come home ready to continue to take on more of the workload as we women typically do more with the kids and the house than the husband whether we work outside of the home, work from home or are a stay at home mom….everyone deserves a break! And that woman is an asshole who definitely deserves a throat punch!
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