So, I read this Wall Street Journal article this morning about “Mommy Business Trip” basically mocking moms who go to conferences because mommies don’t work, right? I will put you out of your misery now and tell you that the deserving recipient of today’s throat punch is the woman, Katherine Rosman, who wrote this article.
The jist of the article is that moms go to conferences and conventions just so they can guilt-free ( as if there is such a damn thing) jet off and leave their “responsibilities” i.e kids and husband to have a girls weekend because what could we moms possibly need “business trips” for?
I don’t know about you but I am the hardest working mommy I know. I clean my house, I cook meals, I fold the fucking laundry, I’m room mother for both classes, I run my kids to all of their classes, school functions and occasions plus I work from home full-time and I am the mother fucking bomb.com. I work and then I work some more and I have the bags under my eyes and fatigue to prove it. I don’t need an excuse to get away. I need an insane asylum for not doing it sooner.
I have not been to any conferences yet because of this very mentality. I can’t leave my family because then what kind of “mom” would I be? What will people think? I’ll tell you what kind of mom I would be…a human one. Man cannot live on bread alone and Moms cannot live on wiping snotty noses, folding laundry and wiping asses alone. It’s lonely at the top and we need a break. And to be fair, I hear a lot of moms bring their kids with them! Yeah, loads of partying goes on when you have a wee one suckling from your teet.
Okay, so I went on my first overnight without my family in January. My oldest is 8, I’ve not been alone in 8 years. 8. YEARS!! Is that even natural? And no, I don’t get to be alone when I shower or pee. I am chaperoned by little people at all hours of the day and night. NO, I don’t even get to sleep without tiny feet kicking me in the back or headbutting me in the face.
I am going to two conferences this year and leaving on my second Press trip in a couple of weeks, during the busiest month of the year for me. I have a daughter getting her first communion, a daughter turning 6, a husband celebrating his 38th birthday, a 14th wedding anniversary to celebrate, Mother’s day, end of the year ballet performances, end of the year violin recitals, the annual neighborhood garage sale, not to mention all of my household chores and my work obligations. I have a lot of shit to get done. Why am I going on this press trip? Because I need some fucking sleep and to talk to adults and maybe, more likely, it will be beneficial to my career in some small way.
I will go to the conferences this year to further my career, to reactivate my brain cells, to make some connections, to better myself and to let my husband have some alone time with our girls. He is just as capable and a lot more patient than me and a better cook and a whole lot more fun. I am going to kick my blog up a notch and yes, to meet some of the wonderful women who I have been friends with for years online. You know, the women who sent my children books to help them through the loss of their beloved dog, the women who cried with me and sent me their condolences when I miscarried last May, the same women who have helped me to learn and grow as a mother and a writer, in my life and in my career; my friends. Is it so wrong that I look forward to seeing them while attending a conference for my work?
I don’t think it’s an excuse to act like an asshole, get drunk and pretend I am single but I also don’t think that I should be punished for choosing to have a family. Why should I be a shut in and not be able to have a career and be with me kids too? Motherhood is not a prison sentence and we are not being punished, we are not on lock down so if we can afford it and our husbands are okay with it, what’s the fucking problem with women ( who happen to have children) attending conferences to better themselves and their careers? I’m sick of these self-imposed guilt trips we adhere to and I am especially sickened when another woman is the chauvinist pig by whose pen the blow is delivered.
The writer of the piece Katherine Rosman, well, I wonder if she’s ever spent any actual time at home with children? My guess is that only a person who has never spent years loving a child and giving their everything to keep them safe and alive and thriving could speak about moms going to blogging conferences or conventions of any sort with such disdain. Dad’s go to conferences and business trips and yes, even guys trips and that is perfectly acceptable but the moment a woman does the same thing, it must be under the guise of some convoluted excuse to escape her family.
Shame on you Ms. Rosman for throwing your sex under the bus for a headline. You receive a well-deserved throat punch. I hope it was worth it to mock moms and make them feel like failures for being human.
What do you think of moms attending conferences and conventions? Are they JUST an excuse to get away from their families and life or are they actually trying to learn something, grow themselves, become better? What do you think of “Mommy Business Trips”?