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Throat Punch Thursday

LAPD, Christian Dorscht

On Tuesday, an off-duty LAPD officer fired his weapon during a confrontation with a 13-year-old Latino boy, Christian Dorscht, who had allegedly “walked on his lawn”. That was enough to set off a chain of events that could have left one child dead for simply being a teenager. As a parent, what would you do if Christian Dorscht were your child?

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Throat Punch Thursday, breastfeeding, adults breastfeeding, dry breastfeeding, fetishes

Jennifer Mulford hasn’t been pregnant or needed to nurse a baby in 20 years but she’s completely determined to be a woman breastfeeding an adult man. This time it will be her partner who she’s trying to get to latch. You heard me right, this broad wants that “special bond” you can only get from skin-to-skin, breastfeeding an adult man. Look, I don’t care how you get your kinks but nope. Did that sound judegmental? Only because they are making it known to the world. Keep it in the bedroom, I don’t need to know your a woman breastfeeding an adult man. It creeps me out a bit to be honest.

**Excuse me while I vomit in my mouth a little bit.

Hey, people have fetishes. I’m not a prude. People like to have sex outside, in front of people, with multiple people, on their knees, in the trees, in water, in dirt, in jello, wearing latex, wearing ball gags, butt plugs and beads. Some people like to wear diapers when they do it and others like to wear big, furry costumes. Some people like to be beaten and peed on. But of all those things, I think, personally, I find breastfeeding a grown man to be one of the grossest fetishes.

After reading online about adult breastfeeding relationships, Jennifer became intrigued by the idea of nursing an adult. She was so determined to get that “bond” that moms have with their nursing child that the bartender went in search for a man child of her own to breastfeed. No, she didn’t have a partner when she got the idea. That came later.

When she first discovered ABR, the single Atlanta mom, started searching online in hopes of finding a man who would be interested in being her partner in this freaky endeavor. Talk about go big or go home. It’s hard enough to ask your committed partner to do this crazy shit but she went in search of a complete stranger to do this with.

After trying countless dating sites, posting messages on Adult Breastfeeding Relationship forums and even placing an ad on Craigslist, she thought her dream of breastfeeding a man just wasn’t going to happen. But before completely giving up on her dream of bonding with a man while he suckled at her bosom, Jennifer brought the idea up to Brad Leeson, an old boyfriend, and he was immediately excited and curious about the idea. Freaks of a feather and all that, I suppose.

“At that moment I knew that I had a partner for life,” she said. “We both wanted the same thing out of the relationship — a magical bond that only breastfeeding can achieve.”

I’m not sure that she realizes this bond she is referring to is usually between a mom and baby because, you know, the baby is depending on the mom for nourishment and the mom is keeping her child alive. Brad, on the other hand, can just go get a burger.

Once she knew Brad was in, Jennifer took a leave of absence from her job so that she could focus all of her time and attention on breastfeeding her man-child.

Jennifer said, “When I read about the bond breastfeeding could create between two people I was envious.”

“I have always enjoyed my breasts being touched during sex more than anything else so I knew I would enjoy it.”

**Excuse me while I vomit again. She just went there. She just made the most unsexual thing, feeding your baby, sexual.

In order for all of this to happen, since Jennifer is not lactating, the two have consistently been dry feeding and pumping every two hours in an attempt to induce lactation. I remember breastfeeding and it is a round the clock day, especially when you are waiting for your milk to come in. There is no time for anything else.

In addition to their strict feeding schedule, Jennifer is drinking Mother’s Milk tea three times a day; taking an herbal pill, and doing everything possible to increase her milk supply. Brad is hopeful that her milk will help with his workouts at the gym.

Apparently, neither of them must be working if they are dry breastfeeding every two hours? How do they pay their bills? Maybe they are independently wealthy. Maybe this could be a new trend for the rich and famous or trust fund babies; got nothing but time and money, why not spend your days breastfeeding adult men?

What do you think about breastfeeding a grown man to for bonding purposes?

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Yesterday, I stumbled across the above photo with the caption

“ I’m too poor to be healthy! “

“If I was well off, I’d be able to buy fresh food and afford a gym membership!”


It was something I saw and immediately found hard to digest. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that fresh food is expensive; obscenely so. We do live in a world where it is hard and expensive to be healthy because we live in a world where everything is supersized and instant gratification is expected at all times. People are busy and there is no time. No money. See, how I did that? There ARE a million excuses as to why our lives are not as we would like them to be. This caused quite a stir on my Facebook timeline.


As someone who had active eating disorders for 8 years and who is now overweight I can tell you a few things


1) Even if you have all the money in the world and all the fresh food and gym memberships, if you don’t use them they don’t work. Believe me, middle class suburbanites all over the world can attest to this. Am I right?


2) Even if you are the “ideal” weight that does not secure that your life will be “ideal”. That’s a myth. I know. I had the ideal weight and body size and I still “needed” to lose “just 5 more pounds”. If you don’t fix your perception of yourself, you can’t be happy because no matter what you look like, you will still be unhappy on the inside. Being skinny is not a magic happy solution.


3) You have to be accountable for and to yourself in order to change yourself. Blaming others for your situation is giving up. I firmly believe that where there is a will, there is always a way. You only have to be willing to look for it and work at it.


4) The real reason most people are overweight, myself included, is simple; lack of movement, an abundance of unhealthy choices and not knowing correct portion sizes (who could blame them. We live in a world of indulgence and excess.)


** Also, I am completely aware that there are people with health and medical issues that make losing weight even harder than normal or even impossible but most of us are fat, if we are honest with ourselves, because of life choices we make. I made the choice to starve myself for 8 years. My metabolism is shot dead but it’s not impossible. I just need to work harder at it than most but most days, I still choose to eat the pizza or drink the Latte because I want it. I sit on my ass all day at a desk working. This is why I am overweight. I can’t blame anyone or anything. No one shoved the food in my mouth. No one forced me to not prioritize working out. Only I can do that and it doesn’t cost anything to walk.


So, I did my research and I found the real story behind the salacious title ( we all know how online publications like to do that) unfortunately, she really is full of shit, as I originally thought. Here is the story from the Daily Mail UK..


An obese mother-of-two who lives on benefits says she needs more of taxpayers’ money to overhaul her unhealthy lifestyle.


Christina Briggs, 26, from Wigan, says she hates being 25 stone (350 pounds for you Americans) but she can’t do anything about it because she can only afford junk food. Meanwhile, exercise is out of the question because she doesn’t have the funds to join a gym.


The single mother told Closer Magazine: ‘It’s not easy being overweight and on benefits. If I was well off, I’d be able to buy fresh food and afford a gym membership. 


‘I tried swimming but it cost £22 a month and it meant I had to cut back on my favourite pizza and Chinese takeaways.’

Unemployed Christina gets £20,000 in benefits a year and lives in a council house with her two children by different fathers, Helena, 10, and Robert, two.

She left school as a teenager after falling pregnant with her daughter following a one night stand.


Christina Biggs, poor, unhealthy

The family feast everyday on takeaways, chocolate and crisps as Christina says they can’t afford low fat foods. As a result, the mother is currently a dress size 26.

She has been warned by her GP that her health is in danger because of her size – medical complications relating to obesity include heart disease and diabetes. Christina is desperate not to leave her two children without a mother and doesn’t want her size to take her to an early grave.

But she insists ‘it’s not my fault – healthy food is too expensive’.

She feels her only hope is for the government to give her more money so she can afford to buy fruit and vegetables and join a gym.

She also believes she should be paid to lose weight as that would give her the motivation to fight the flab.

She told the magazine:

I need more benefits to eat healthily and exercise. It would be good if the government offered a cash incentive for me to lose weight. I’d like to get £1 for every pound I lose, or healthy food vouchers. 


‘If the price of healthy food was lowered that would help, too. I need help, but I need it from the government.’


She added that she can’t get a job to gain more money because she’s needed at home to care for her children, especially as her daughter has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and issues with her kidneys.


She explained:

‘There’s no way I could get a job. I don’t feel bad about the taxpayer funding my life and my child’s medical problems, because I don’t treat myself or buy anything excessive. I just get enough money to live on – the taxpayers should help fund my diet.’  

There you have it, all in her own words.  It’s Thursday and this entire situation needs a throat punch. She KNOWS that she needs to exercise and eat more healthy. She knows that much. BUT she is making excuses and blaming others. Does she need more nutrition education? Yes! Does the cost of healthy food need to be more affordable? Hell yes to all of that! But are all of her life problems because the government is not funding her weight loss program? HELL NO!

You can’t tell me with cabinets filled with junk and refusing to give up on her favorite Chinese take-out that her current weight situation is not entirely of her own doing. Choices my friends. Buy in season veggies and fruits. Shop sales. Walk. Move. Buy frozen or canned fruits and veggies, they beat a bag of chips any day.
Here are some links to help you eat healthy on a budget:

Real Food on a Food Stamp Budget

Eating Healthy on a Budget

Good and Cheap Eat well on $4 a day

Get Healthy on A budget

Ways to Stay Healthy on a Budget

Free Online Workouts

What do you think?

Is she too poor to be healthy?


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zara, anti-semitic, Holocaust, fashion

Throat Punch Thursday is back just for International Clothing designer ZARA from Spain. They are selling a “sheriff” shirt with stripes and a star of David that very closely resembles the shirts worn in concentration caps in Nazi Germany. Talk about low rent behavior.

Look, the world is a cesspool of shit right now. Isis is beheading Christians, African-Americans are being shot dead in the street like animals, mental illness is the silent killer like cancer of the brain chemicals and anti-Semitism is alive and well. See, I learned a very important lesson as a child, those who do not know history are destined to repeat it. Well, not trying to be captain obvious but haven’t we all been here before?

The ZARA shirt is just a reminder of what a group of assholes we can be when we try or just don’t give a shit about other people at all. I’m not going to go on a rant about what a rotten state the world is in because truth be told it’s probably always been in various states of shit depending on who you are and what your perspective is.

The reason this ZARA shirt is so offensive to me is that aside from being blatantly anti-Semitic it lets adults dress unsuspecting children in a sick and offensive garment that is reminiscent of one of the darkest days in history and then send them out into the world like a big Fuck You to the entire Jewish population. Maybe someone thought this was funny but I think it’s sad, hurtful and dangerous. What’s next, swastika print on Bermuda shorts? What are we teaching our children? Isn’t the world messed up enough without reopening old wounds?

Global warming, racism, bigotry, anti-Semitism, the objectification of women, the never ending misunderstanding and stigmatization of mental illness, gun Control, the economy, the hungry homeless on our own doorsteps and just a general lack of empathy and compassion in the world are just a few things going so wrong right now that have all happened before. Were we not paying attention the first 100 times these things have happened?

I’m a pragmatist, I know that the world will never be a perfect place. I don’t believe in unicorns and Utopia. I know that not everyone will always be accepting or tolerant of others. But wouldn’t it be nice if for a change, the assholes were in the minority instead of the majority.  My eyes have begun to twitch from the news lately.

Today , I read about a male pediatric nurse who molested the 2-month old preemie baby boy who he was fostering and then video taped and took photos of the whole thing. It went on for weeks. In one video, the authorities said that they could audibly hear the baby crying. What makes a person able to stomach doing something like that to a newborn, or anyone for that matter?

What are your thoughts on this “Sheriff” shirt by Zara?

zara, anti-semitic, Holocaust, fashion, Spain

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Adam Richman best known for hosting the gluttonous show Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel, in which he traveled the country overeating as a hobby recently, used the hashtag #thinspiration to accompany an Instagram photo of himself showing the 60 pounds that he has lost. As someone who knows exactly what that hashtag means, it’s obvious to me that he made a mistake in his choice of hashtags, probably out of sheer ignorance but what followed was certainly intentional.

In case you are wondering, the hashtag #thinspiration is used in pro-ana and pro bulimic sites and groups to cheer one another along on their quest for thinness, essentially their journey to self destruction. So, using the hashtag #thinspiration as a non ED sufferer, you are essentially like a bystander watching someone about to jump off the roof and instead of calling the fire department, chanting, “JUMP!JUMP!JUMP!” The hashtag is offensive and when used callously, I can see where some people might get offended, especially those who suffer from eating disorders. I am 17 years in recovery, I can see both sides.


Critics of his use of the hashtag started immediately informing him of his mistake but I’m assuming he felt like it was a personal attack. I get it, he’s worked to lose all the weight he gained from binging on his show. Some people would consider that an eating disorder. But instead of apologizing for the faux pas, Adam Richman retaliated by calling several of the commenters “c*nts” and suggesting that they grab a razor and draw a bath adding that he doubted anyone would miss them and that is where a simple mistake became a deliberate act of assholery. That wouldn’t have been my first choice as a public figure to respond with but hey, what do I know?


He later apologized, I am sure at the urging of his publicist. It was really more of a “sorry, not sorry” apology and by that point, Adam Richman had already done the damage. Quite frankly, his comments after the fact have ruined him for me.



As someone with food issues, him misusing the hashtag #thinspiration would not have offended me to the point of nastily calling him out. I would have kindly educated him as to what it means and represents so that he would not accidentally use it again. But once he started throwing around slurs and telling people to kill themselves, I have to agree with the general consensus that he is, in fact, a little too obnoxious for my taste.

Maybe he and Paula Dean can start your own network for television celebrities who have verbal diarrhea and a knack for offending the public. They could even call it CUNTV. Look, I’ve always been a fan of Adam Richman and his witty banter on his shows but his reaction to this situation went too far.Some times you just have to accept that you stepped in it and apologize.He took a mistake and made it shit storm. They say there is no bad publicity but I think after this, Adam Richman would agree, there is.

What do you think of Adam Richman and his behavior?


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school stabbings, Alex Hribal, WTF America, Throat Punch Thursday, Unsafe America

School stabbings. School shootings. School bombings. Children molested by trusted adult. Nanny murders children. Mom drives minivan full of children into ocean. Terrorists bomb  the Boston marathon. Teenagers knock out unsuspecting adults for “fun”. Teens lure an unpopular teen out to some deserted place and kill him because they are bored. Kids cyber bullying kids to the point of suicide. Young girls get gang raped and videotaped while others watch. WTF America? Does anyone else feel like the world has become the unsafest place in the universe? The world used to feel safer; more innocent. Less cynical. It seems that lately no one is safe, anywhere. Unfortunately, as people are no,t as of ye,t living on Mars, this is all we’ve got.

When I was a child, we played outside until the streetlights came on. We rode our bikes up and down the block with no supervision. We walked to school with a group of friends. Our parents trusted our friends’ parents and people were kinder to one another. There was a modicum of respect for human life. It wasn’t perfect, we had serial killers and we were cautious. Sure, there were assholes. There always are but for the most part, when you let your kids out of the house to go to school or left them with a babysitter, you weren’t afraid that it was the last time you’d ever see them.

The other day, I saw a video from 1987. It was a group of 18-year-old guys in Orlando at a convenience store with their camera asking strangers questions. Actual strangers interacting with one another, no smart ass comments, no knock out game, no bullying, no bullshit..just simple human communication. There was no real point to this video. It was just a rare snippet into an innocuous moment in history before every moment was documented. It made me nostalgic for those days before whatever this is happened. If you tried that same thing now, you would be ignored or worse, assaulted.

There were no school stabbings. You used your words.

When I was a teenager, back in the 80’s, high school boys would call high school girls that they didn’t even know because they had seen them in the hallways or a friend told a friend about so and so, actual human interaction.  Yes, boys would actually cold call girls on a landline telephone. Start a fucking conversation and try to impress her, maybe even ask for a date. Hell, some guys would even pull up after school and offer you a ride home. If the girl liked him, more often than not, girls would take the ride or at the very least give him her phone number. Sounds crazy, right? Sounds like something that would give me a heart attack if my daughters did that today.  Back then, either there was not so much danger or we just didn’t know about it because there was no social media and Internet. I miss those days. I miss my ignorant bliss in a time when people knew what consequences were.

I am sad that my girls live in a world where they will never fully know trust in another human being. They will never not be exposed and bombarded by social media. I am sad that they might never know the butterflies that you get when a boy who likes you walks over to you and makes adorably awkward conversation because now it’s all text and social media and there is nothing “adorably awkward” about a teen boy’s penis in a sext or finding out your hotness rating on some website. The world has become to in-your-face for my liking. It’s abrasive and feels unsafe to me.

Yesterday morning, Alex Hribal, a 16-year-old at a Pennsylvania High School went on a stabbing and slashing spree for no apparent reason. At 7:15 in the morning, he ran through the hallways slashing and stabbing anyone he could get; 22 people in 5 minutes. His attorney says that he is “confused, scared and depressed”. Yeah, well, guess what? Who gives a shit what he is. His time for fucking counseling is over. The only ones who have a right to be confused, scared and depressed are his vicitms…the American people that this asshole has made feel, once again, unsafe in their own homes.

I am so sick of the Alex Hribal, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Adam Lanza and James Holmes of the world. So they were a little weird and misunderstood. So fucking what? We’ve all been an outcast at some point or another. We’ve all felt alone but that doesn’t give you the right to take it out on innocent people. They say he might have a mental illness. Get therapy. Take your meds. Talk to your parents. Change your life but don’t take other people’s children with you because you’re having a fucking bad day! Many of us have mental illness but most of us don’t go batshit crazy and try to kill everyone in sight.

We live in a world where every single morning when I drop my little girls off at school and watch them walk toward the school hand-in-hand, I get a knot in my stomach and pray (literally PRAY) that this is not the last time that I see them. How twisted is that?

Something has got to change. We can’t unring the technology bell that has gotten us to this point. We can’t make people like people but we can raise our children in a world where they are not taught that if everything is not going their way they can just go crazy and kill people. It’s a fucking temper tantrum. It’s a poor pitiful me pity party of epic proportions. We hover and coddle and then we turn our children loose into the teen years with no social skills and an expectation of instant gratification. They don’t know consequences and they feel like the world owes them a pound of flesh because everything’s not going their way and they exact their punishment.  We are raising a generation of narcissistic assholes who are so detached from human emotion that they can walk into a school and stab 22 people, shoot 26 elementary aged children, bomb an entire marathon of unsuspecting onlookers, shoot up a theater with families and not give a shit because all they care about it how they “feel”.

We have to change this. I can’t bear to hear about one more school stabbing or shooting. It starts with us, the parents. We need to teach our children that there are consequences to their actions. We need to teach them that life is not always about getting what you want or how you “feel”. Sometimes life sucks but we make changes, we talk it out, we get help, we fight for ourselves and we move on.

We teach them that these bad days don’t last forever. We quit raising kids who think the world revolves around them; who think that if they fail it’s the end of the world. We teach them to learn to get over rejection and work harder to be better. We teach them to respect human life. We teach them tenacity and self-confidence. We let them know that we are there for them and that we love them unconditionally and we pray that’s enough.

What are your thoughts on the school stabbings?


Alex Hribal, school stabbings, WTF America, Throat Punch Thursday

photo Trang Nguyen

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racism,Richard Cohen,biracial children, interracial marriage, throat punch thursday

Yesterday, I had an article come across my tread about Richard Cohen, a writer for the Washington Post, who declared…

Today’s GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio’s wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn’t look like their country at all.

If you ask me, Bill de Blasio sounds like a man who sees beyond the surface and does not judge people on what they appear to be but for what they actually are beneath the exterior, superficial appearance. I went to the source and read the entire article, in Richard Cohen’s own words. After carefully reading the piece, I began to second guess whether or not he was actually a racist or if he was just the victim of misunderstanding and salacious headlines. Been there, done that. Then, I read this paragraph…

Iowa not only is a serious obstacle for Christie and other Republican moderates, it also suggests something more ominous: the Dixiecrats of old. Officially the States’ Rights Democratic Party, they were breakaway Democrats whose primary issue was racial segregation. In its cause, they ran their own presidential candidate, Strom Thurmond, and almost cost Harry Truman the 1948 election. They didn’t care. Their objective was not to win — although that would have been nice — but to retain institutional, legal racism. They saw a way of life under attack and they feared its loss.

And just like that all doubts were removed. Because with him making that one little remark, “ although that would have been nice” he confirmed that he, in fact, is opposed to equality and biracial marriage and for legal racism.  He’s a racist.

I am the product of a biracial marriage. My children are the product of a biracial marriage. I am trying to raise my children in the United States; a country that is supposed to be a melting pot of cultures and color, but still, there is racism and the them and us mentality lives on.

Richard Cohen,biracial children, interracial marriage, throat punch thursday, racism

When my mother married my father in Virginia in 1972, 41 years ago, she took my father to meet her Grandfather who had helped raise her. He had not come to their small wedding so she took her groom to meet him. He told her that she might as well have married a n*gger and promptly slammed the door in her face. I cringe every time I even think of him using the n word because it wreaks of so much ignorance and somewhere that asshole’s blood runs through my veins.*Hangs head in shame*

I am sure after he shut the door he threw up in his mouth a little. Too bad he didn’t choke on it. Maybe he did, how would I know? I never met him. This has been our legacy. My mother was devastated and never saw her grandfather again because she didn’t want her children around that. She protected us but to the racists she was even more disgusting than my father because she chose to be with him. She chose someone her grandfather felt was less than her; a poor mountain girl from a divorced family in the south with nothing, at all. He made that assumption based on the color of my father’s skin. He didn’t care that they loved one another or that she was happy. He only cared that it wasn’t what he thought was traditional. My mom, the damn dirty liberal she was. I’d like to think people have evolved since 1972 but I honestly think we are in a state of devolution, if Richard Cohen and the Iowa Tea Party are any indication.

Here’s the problem, aside from the fact that humans are humans and as such we are all created equal, we live in a country where everyone is mixed.  I mean how many of you are English, just English? Hell, I don’t even think most of the people in England are pure English unless they are royalty. I mean if we are going to be literal, if you are not American Indian, you are not native. Guess what, I am 1/16th Cherokee. So, aren’t I more American than someone who came over on the Mayflower?

Apparently, the issue most conservatives have which causes them to vomit in their mouths a little bit is when they see actual colors mixing because you can’t hide that. You can’t hide from the color of your skin, no matter how ashamed or self-loathing the right wing conservatives try to make you feel. It announces itself before you ever enter the room.

Richard Cohen,biracial children, interracial marriage, throat punch thursday, racism

This sort of mentality makes me sick and it makes me afraid for my children. People who see others as less important, somehow less human than themselves, also see those same people as disposable threats. What happens when we are all so mixed up that you can no longer identify people by their colors? Do we feel betrayed or duped because we didn’t know that we were supposed to be throwing up in our own mouths with disgust because two people blindly fell in love with a human and not a color of skin?

Personally, I am looking forward to the day when the entire country is a beautiful shade of café au lait. Life is not black and white; it’s not that simple. Humans are complicated. But there is one thing that is clear, I want better for my daughters. I never want them to have to hang their heads in shame for being Latina. I want them to live in a world where racists are the minority and are the ones hanging their heads in shame for their despicable behaviors. If you are a racist, I pity you because there is a whole group of people that you are cheating yourself from knowing simply based on the color of their skin.

Today, my throat punch goes to Richard Cohen for writing such an offensive piece, the Washington Post for employing such a racist pig and to all those like Mr.Cohen who think people should be separated by color like laundry instead of standing shoulder to shoulder, intermingling and learning from one another. I want better for my girls.

What do you think about Richard Cohen and his take on race and the tea Party?

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My Throat Punch Thursday this week goes to the lady with the disdain for the bloggers who work for her, Ms. Martha Stewart herself. You, my friends, are no experts and Ms. Stewart has a gripe about that. Well, I have a gripe with Ms. Martha Stewart and her condescending attitude towards bloggers and it all stems from this direct quote she gave in an interview.

“Who are these bloggers? They’re not trained editors at Vogue magazine. There are bloggers writing recipes that aren’t tested that aren’t necessarily very good, or are copies of what really good editors have created and done. Bloggers create a kind of a popularity but they are not the experts. We have to understand that.” ~ Martha Stewart

Last I checked, Martha Stewart’s degree from Barnard was in History and Architectural history not home décor, home furnishings, cooking, stain removal or fashion. Unless she’s gotten degrees in interior decorating, fashion and the culinary arts, what the hell makes her an expert in her fields? Experience? If it’s experience, maybe we have some of that too. Is it old age? I mean is it generally accepted that since she is an old, middle-class, white woman whose been cooking and cleaning for decades in Westport then she must be an expert? Maybe and maybe we’ve amassed some experience and wisdom with age too. I think Martha Stewart is full of shit. I think hurdling towards irrelevance at warped speed and realizing that with the invention of Pinterest, You tube, Instagram and blogs she is quickly becoming obsolete.

Of course, to be honest, I’m a blogger and I never claimed to be an expert on anything but my own opinions. Oh, and I do have degrees in Political Science, History, Sociology and Criminology and a masters in Liberal Studies. But I am not an editor at Vogue, nor have I ever claimed to be. If I were, I’d probably be working at Vogue on a fashion spread and NOT giving Martha Stewart a thought.

Anyways, I am derailing, the point is this Martha Stewart, you are speaking out of both sides of your face. You say you have a gripe with bloggers. Who the hell are we? I am not a trained editor at Vogue but I was a trained editor for 8 years. Since when did editors start creating recipes? Don’t cooks develop recipes? The thing is most of us are not qualified to lick your boots edit for Vogue according to you but we are perfectly poised to shill your products, earn you money via your ad network and kiss your ass just as long as everyone knows You.Understand.That. We.Are.Not.Experts!

Martha, do you need a nap? Some coffee? Are you drunk? I’m not expert (though I am exceptionally well versed in the DSM) but I’d say you might be experiencing some sort of fugue because you have forgotten who you are and whose been helping you make money. You remember us, those lowly bloggers who you dismissed at BlogHer but took your payment in full for speaking. Then approached many of us under the cover of email to join your ad network. Then you publicly denounce us as having no value; no expertise. Basically we are good cheerleaders and that’s about it, in your mind.  But you are wrong, we are thoughtful consumers with a platform and really big reach and the reach many of us were using to earn you money will now be used to encourage other thoughtful consumers to not give their money to you.


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sandwich, 300 sanwiches, Stephanie Smith

Stephanie Smith, beautiful, seemingly intelligent, New York Post writer and author of 300sandwiches.com blog is on a mission to create 300 sandwiches for her gourmet wannabe Alexander Skarsgard lookalike boyfriend.(Shame on you Stephanie for even saying that.) Apparently, before he ever even gets his lazy ass out of bed he likes to ask her how why hasn’t she made him a sandwich? Yeah, a fucking dead rat and arsenic sandwich. Are his legs broken or is it just his brain that is damaged?

My boyfriend, Eric, is the gourmet cook in our relationship, but he’d always want me to make him a sandwich.

Each morning, he would ask, “Honey, how long you have been awake?”

“About 15 minutes,” I’d reply.

“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”

To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. “Sandwiches are love,” he says. “Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli.”

One lazy summer afternoon just over a year ago, I finally gave in. I assembled turkey and Swiss on toasted wheat bread. I spread Dijon mustard generously on both bread slices, and I made sure the lettuce was perfectly in line with the neatly stacked turkey slices.

Eric devoured the sandwich as if it were a five-star meal, diving in with large, eager bites. “Babes, this is delicious!” he exclaimed.

 As he finished that last bite, he made an unexpected declaration of how much he loved me and that sandwich: “Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”

And she squealed with delight and ran to the kitchen to get straight to it….well, right after she bought a domain and a fancy DSLR. Here’s this woman, a very educated, modern day woman who is good at her job, respected among her peers and has everything a woman could ever want with the exception of two things…a proposal from her chauvinistic boyfriend and  obviously any self respect.

Basically, she is the dancing monkey in this situation. She’s made 176 sandwiches so far so only a little over half ways to her diamond ring…maybe…if he doesn’t change his mind. Or she doesn’t piss him off or get fat or something better comes along.

This all makes me wonder just what the fuck is wrong with women? I would never tell my boyfriend …just 300 more foot massages and I’ll let you put a ring on it. Just 300 lawns mowed and I will say yes. Only 300 more orgasms and I might consider letting you ask me to marry you. Have we no more self-respect? Has it been so ingrained into our heads as little girls that our only alternatives are to be married and submit to a man or become the dreaded cat lady that we will do anything to avoid becoming a cat lady even if it means not even being able to look ourselves in the mirror because we loathe ourselves so much?

You know if she wanted to do this and live with the fact that she earned her ring by making sandwiches for it, enough for him to deem her worthy of his ever after, why take it public and humiliate herself? Look we’ve all done some humiliating shit in our past in the name of love. I know I have. Not for the guy I married because he’s not an asshole who would want me to but there were others. People who make us so crazy that we question our own reasoning.

Things were moving at a natural pace, but I wondered what it would take for him to propose. I’m in my mid-30s, and my parents have been happily married for more than 35 years. I have always valued the commitment and dedication it takes to get married and stay married. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to raise a family with someone who feels likewise.

Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material. If he wanted 300 sandwiches, I’d give him 300 sandwiches — and I’d blog about it.

Hey, Stephanie you shouldn’t have to earn his desire to marry you; either he loves you or he doesn’t. Love is unconditional. It doesn’t come with stipulations and regulations and rules other than to love, honor and respect one another. By stipulating that you make him 300 sandwiches to earn the right to be asked to maybe be his wife is not honoring you and certainly not respecting you. It’s humiliating you and you are the only one dumb enough to not see it.For the love of God, you should have stayed anonymous.

Ten sandwiches or so in, I did the math. Three sandwiches a week, times four weeks a month, times 12 months a year, meant I wouldn’t be done until I was deep into my 30s. How would I finish 300 sandwiches in time for us to get engaged, married and have babies before I exited my childbearing years?

My mother was the voice of reason. “Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint,” she said. “Take it one sandwich at a time.”

I made sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. I made sandwiches to get myself out of the doghouse — like No.67, a scrambled egg, smoked salmon and chive creation that combined some of Eric’s favorite things to make up for my being 45 minutes late for dinner the night before.

Even after covering movie premieres or concerts for Page Six, I found myself stumbling into the kitchen to make Eric a sandwich while I still had on my high heels and party dress.

Step back girl and see what is really going on or if that ring means that damn much to you, just stop telling the world about it. I know love makes us blind and stupid but maybe you should stop embarrassing yourself. I think he’s got humiliating you down, you don’t need to assist him. Honestly, the only way I can see the power ever equalizing in this relationship is if she plans to pull a man on him and the minute they get married…she never cooks him another sandwich as long as they both shall live.

What is your boyfriend said he’s marry you if you lost 20 pounds? If you dyed your hair blonde? If you had a three-way? If you learned to cook with your toes? If you’d let him experiment with golden showers? Aren’t all these asking you to change? And if he wants you to change, is it really you that he wants to marry?Where do you draw the line? What do you think? Did your spouse put stipulations on the relationship before it could go to the next level?


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Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Dear Miley Cyrus,

“Don’t you ever say I just walked away/ I will always want you/ I can’t live a lie, running for my life/ I will always want you”

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Haven’t we all been here? That one big love that just wrecks you. I’d say Miley Cyrus is just about on time. I know I had a couple of these in my early 20’s. Because when you are 20, everything is HUGE and love is the one thing that trumps everything else and when it ends it truly does wreck you and ruin you for awhile but you don’t know that until you have moved past it. When it happens, it feels like the end of everything. Remember that feeling? It sucked.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Where do I start? Miley,I am not your mama, but if I were, I’d give you a big hug. You are having a hard time of it lately but this Wrecking Ball video is not helping your situation. What the hell is all the nudity suppose to mean? I thought it was a heartfelt, plea to save the relationship with your fiancé, Liam Hemsworth, but then the sledgehammer licking came in like a wrecking ball and wrecked the entire video.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

I am baffled by all the nudity and tongue flicking of the sledgehammer? Is it a nod at fellatio? Are you publicly promising sexual favors for his return? I’m not judging. I’m just so effing confused. Miley, I know you were young, independent and embracing your sexuality. We’ve all been where you are at, minus the money and public watching. It’s hard. I understand that you’re trying to grow up and break free of the Hannah Montana monkey on your back but this video makes you seem angry and desperate. One minute it’s begging for forgiveness and the next it’s saying, Go! Get the fuck out of here.

When the whole Robin Thicke debacle happened, I said hey, there are two people on stage stop placing all the blame on Miley. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with twerking, well, except for the fact that it is not very becoming on anyone and it’s kind of skeevy. I expect it from strippers, not so much from pop stars. It’s kind of gross but I’m sure you’ve heard this all before from your own parents. Anyways, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a young woman expressing herself and embracing her sexuality. You’ve got a rockin 20 year-old body, show it off but remember with great power comes great responsibility and that rockin body can get you into some trouble, as you’ve already began to find out. The nudity in the video was like going to church to ask for forgiveness and twerking your way to the confessional. Insincere and confusing.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

You standing alone vulnerable, crying worked but in the blink of an eye you are walking around in your undies in a construction site, which seems very dangerous. Thankfully you wore the boots, which I can only hope are steel toe, but what about a helmet ?  That tiny wife beater and matching panties are cute for playing out construction fantasies in the bedroom but not so much in a place where there is actual demolition and wrecking balls.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Speaking of wrecking balls, I totally get the lyrics to this song. I love this song! Love it! I think you can more than sing, you can SANG! But girl, the gratuitous sex serves no purpose. Maybe you were convinced it portrayed a vulnerability that the lyrics fit and yes, nudity, in my opinion, is just about as vulnerable as you can get so I could have rationalized that if I tried really hard. But what..is.up.with.the.licking.of .the.sledge.hammer? That was too far. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

In that instant, you went from a vulnerable heartbroken woman and expressing herself artistically to gratuitous sexual innuendo and then it went downhill from there. That one lick of the hammer reduced the entire video to nothing more than being naked for the sole purpose of shocking people. Also, wasn’t it uncomfortable being naked on that wrecking ball? It had to be cold and licking the sledgehammer? Why? Just why? It just came in like a wrecking ball and fucked up the entire video.

This video makes me feel sorry for you, question whether you are in crisis and wonder if maybe someone should slip you a couple stabilizers. It’s one thing to have a breakdown but quite another to do it in the public eye. Next time, give a little more thought to what you want the final product to say about the song and about you because as it stands it’s not saying too much about you other than you like being naked and maybe that you are a little bitter. It goes from being a bittersweet love ballad to a raunchy sexual exploitation in 30 seconds flat.


This video reminds me of that girl who got dumped by the love of her life and at first, she’s heartbroken and begs him back and then, indignantly yells a giant, “Fuck You, I never loved you anyways. Take a good look at what you had because you can’t have it anymore” that is what this video does. You are not Taylor Swift. You don’t want to be that bitter bitch. Have your feelings, have your breakdown, you’re entitled to that but do it in private with a couple of girlfriends and a tub of ice cream and tequila like the rest of us.

Unfortunately, to my chagrin, I have to throat punch that damn sledgehammer licking because it was so damn nasty.

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball


Miley Cyrus, you wreck me.

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