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mom burnout

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Hey mama, let’s get real for a sec. That exhaustion you’ve been feeling? The short fuse, the cynicism, the desire to abandon ship and move to a remote island away from tiny humans? Girl, you’re burned. the. fuck. out. Mom burnout, it’s not a joke. 

I get it, I really do. Motherhood, while incredible, is a marathon like no other. The relentless cycle of caring for kids, managing the household, maybe even clocking in at a 9-5…it’s enough to turn any woman into a brittle, hollowed-out husk just going through the motions. 

But what if I told you there’s a way to pull yourself out of that dark pit of burnout before it swallows you whole? Spoiler alert: Self-care isn’t just a trendy buzzword. It’s a critical survival tactic for moms on the brink.

Now, now…before you roll your eyes and claim you “don’t have time for that,” hear me out. I’m about to drop some game-changing, mom-tested secrets for injecting those self-care habits into your life in tiny, sustainable ways. No luxurious spa weekends or Marie Kondo-level overhauls required.

The Bare Minimum, Maximum Impact Routine:

Become a Morning Person (Yeah, I Said It)

Those pre-kid wake-up calls might seem like fresh hell, but here’s the truth bomb: Waking up even 30-60 minutes before your little ones do ensures that you have a sliver of precious “me” time to myself. Read, journal, meditate (enjoy your coffee while it’s still hot) or even just get ready…do whatever soothes your soul before the morning chaos erupts.

Top Tip: Place your alarm across the room, so you’re forced to GET UP. Trust me, hitting snooze robs you of this sacred recharge window.

Schedule Your Mom Burnout Breaks 

Working mom or stay-at-home, we all need periodic respites throughout the day to pause and catch our breath. Set recurring reminders to take 5-10 minute breaks: a quick walk ( or a 5K…whatever makes you happy) around the block, a warm beverage on the patio, or a solo dance party in the living room (this one doubles as cardio!).

The key is being ruthless about taking these “burnout breaks.” These momentary reprieves act as a reset, helping you avoid those meltdown moments of overwhelm.

Reclaim Your Shower 

We’ve all had days where showers feel like monumental chores we don’t have bandwidth for. Except showering, when intentional, can be a micro self-care ritual!

Create a spa-like experience by upgrading with a loofah, body scrub, and luxe hair products. Turn on a timed water-resistant speaker and belt out anthems like you’re Taylor freakin’ Swift for 20 blissful minutes. Emerge anew, a rejuvenated, pruney ( experiencing substantially less mom burnout) goddess!

Get Horizontal 

I’m orbiting closer to midlife, so downtime is precious. But whenever possible, I’ll drop onto my bed for 20-30 minutes and simply lay there, supine and sans responsibilities. I rarely am able to nap, but a night mask goes a long way to concealing that fact. They don’t need to know I’m awake. Think of it as a “do not disturb” sign. 

Read, doze, or simply press the reset button. Little rituals like these, while small, have massive energizing effects to carry us through those burnout danger zones.

Happy Hour (The Mocktail Edition or not, you’re grown) 

As an unwavering low tox enthusiast, I’ve sworn off hangovers as self-care. But mixing up delicious, whimsical cocktails is still my fix! These days I’m more into nootropics and adaptogens but whatever makes you happy. 

Blend up mocktails with fresh juices, herbs, and bubbles for an effervescent happy hour experience. Or reserve wine glasses for refreshing aguas frescas. These tiny oases of tranquility will whisk you away, if only briefly, from the mom grind.

Listen, friend. I’m not here to preach about finding the glorified “life balance.” That mythical ideal is a toxic trap that just fuels our burnout cycles! We can have it all, just not all at the same time.

Instead, I’m offering you these micro self-care habits to ease the load incrementally. Do them regularly, or don’t do them at all. Self-care without guilt or pressure!

When we make replenishing our cups a non-negotiable ritual woven into our days, we rewire our perspectives. What once felt like an indulgence becomes a survival staple.

And from that point, everything shifts. We shed the frantic, all-consuming burnout haze and rediscover the joy in this wild ride of raising humans. We’re more present, patient, and emotionally replenished to show up boldy for our families.

That’s the truth, mama. So go ahead, put on your tough-but-needs-love mom blinders and commit to these bite-sized acts of self-preservation. I’m rooting for you!

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Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Licefreee and #WeAllGrow Latina Network all opinions of how to easily treat a lice infestation are my own.

Ever dealt with a head lice outbreak at school? Isn’t it the worst? The first thing to come to mind is to do all the research on how to treat a lice infestation effectively because no one wants to do that more than once. That horrible letter/email that informs you that someone in the class has been found to have lice feels like punishment. If you have children of school age, you know the terror it strikes in a parent’s heart when it happens because OMG, so much work to get rid of lice.

My girls have been rocking tea tree oil covered braids since they’ve been in school. I am of the school of thought that safe is better than sorry. I try really hard to avoid the girls getting lice. I’ve thoroughly drilled it into my daughters’ heads that they should not share hats, coats or brushes so much so that once, my 5-year-old screamed at the top of her lungs at a classmate whose head had accidentally touched hers, “Get back! I don’t want your lice!!” Honestly, we were lucky she didn’t push her down and run away.

You can imagine how freaked out I was last Nutcracker season when there was a lice scare backstage. All it takes is one person to come to the production with lice and everyone is fair game. Lice do not discriminate; all they need is a warm host with hair. And it doesn’t matter how clean you are, getting lice has nothing to do with being dirty.

In a big production with a cast of over 150 people in tight quarters; there is a lot of sharing and inevitable cross-contamination. Cast members share costumes and headpieces. Jackets, scarves, and sweaters are strewn upon one another as dancers rush to do costume changes. It really is the perfect breeding ground for the spread of lice; almost as bad as your local elementary school.

I’m not going to lie, when I got the email, I went a little crazy. All I could think of was all of that long blonde hair that I was going to have to go through. All of those clean clothes stacked all over the place and stuffed animals now in need of suffocation and hot water. All.of.that.work!

Aside from the prospect of repeating all of that work, I wasn’t excited to put harsh chemicals on my daughters’ young scalps to kill bugs that might or might not even be there. The smell alone of the pesticides are enough to kill anything it came in contact with.

Of course, it had to be done. I wasn’t taking any chances that the girls had caught lice. I wasn’t that keen on power scouring my entire house again so, I womaned up and did what all mom’s do; I took care of it.

After several hours of combing through all of that long, thick, blonde hair, times two, I shampooed their little heads. I shampooed my husband and myself and I scoured every inch of my house. Mind you, we found nothing but we had just hosted a ballerina sleepover and I wasn’t willing to take any chances.

Unfortunately, I haven’t the first idea where to take my girls to get their hair checked for lice. I know there are lots of salons that offer these services but they are costly and not available in all areas. I also didn’t have the financial freedom to hire a hazmat crew to bleach my house or burn the sucker down.

While I can’t give you a quick and painless fix on how to get rid of lice, because it’s a lot of work, I’ve recently learned about Licefreee! It was created by parents, for parents. After dealing with a case of head lice with her own children, a member of the R&D team developed Licefreee, a safe alternative to traditional chemical pesticide remedies for lice that works.

There is no reason that you have to continue using traditional remedies for head lice that contain chemical pesticides such as permethrin or pyrethrum to treat head lice infestation on your children.

Affordable, over-the-counter Licefreee! brand non-toxic head lice treatments use the naturally occurring mineral, sodium chloride, to effectively kill head lice and nits. It’s easy to use so you can get back to your normal life quickly and lice free!

Licefreee, lice, how to easily treat a lice infestation, treating lice, how to treat lice

Why choose Licefreee over other brands of head lice treatments?

First and foremost, it kills head lice and nits. Secondly, and very importantly, it’s a non-toxic, homeopathic head lice treatment that’s safe and gentle enough for children 6 months and older but strong enough for adults too!
Licefreee is the non-toxic choice of school nurses and pediatricians and works on all hair types including thick, curly hair like mine. Last but not least, it is 100% Guaranteed. I don’t know about you but if I’m going to have to go through a lice scare and all of that hard work, I at least want to know that it’s guaranteed to work.

Have you ever had a lice scare? What are your best tips for dealing with a scare or just to avoid it all together?

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What to do if your child is threatened, school shooting, Run, hide, fight

What to do if your child is threatened at school? We don’t like to think about things like active shooters or bombings, do we? We’d like to believe that we know what we’d do. We’d protect our children, at all costs. But the truth is you have no idea how you would react if your child is threatened. I didn’t. It’s one of those fight or flight circumstances, you either run away and hide or you fight tooth and nail to keep your child safe in the situation. The intention is the same; save the child.

My fourth grader came home last Friday from school and said, “Mommy, I got this creepy note from school.” She threw the note at me from the back seat. I was expecting some weird cryptic message from some fellow student at school but that wasn’t what she got at all. Our school had come under threat from one of the children who attended the school and none of us were told until after the fact.

I was mad and terrified at the same time because how are you supposed to know what to do if your child is threatened? How do you protect your child from unseen or unanticipated dangers?

It was a letter from the school, alerting the parents that there had been a “situation” a “THREAT” at the school. We all know that is code for a Columbine/ Sandy Hook situation in the making. For a moment, I lost it…very quietly in my head because even though I was terrified, I couldn’t scare my children. They have to go to that place every day and they need to feel safe even if I don’t. I told them very little about the note. They just know there was an incident.

My daughters live in a very different world from the one I grew up in. I didn’t have drills to practice in case a “polar bear” got loose in the building and went on a “growling” spree. My mom’s last words to me every morning before school as she kissed me goodbye were not, “Love you! Remember if a “polar bear” gets in the building…bob and weave. Never run in a straight line!” We didn’t have to know active shooter protocol or what the acronym REHF meant. That’s run, escape, hide and fight for those of you who are not preparing for “polar bears” bearing down your hallways with an AK47s by the way.

I mean, what the hell is that? But it’s one of those things I need to say. Just like its compulsory that both of my children take their iPhones to school “in case of emergency” like the emergency that happened to Eddie Justice in the bathroom of the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando.

At school board meetings we have to discuss things like escape windows, bulletproof screens and hurricane doors to keep the danger out. We have security measures in place in case a strange “polar bear” shows up to terrorize our children but what about when there is a “polar bear” in student’s clothing? How do we protect our children from the unseen threats?

I’m not going to lie, the note and the intended threat that prompted it have shaken me as a mom. Every morning that I drop my kids off at school, I don’t want to. What if today is the day that a child makes good on an assumed idol threat? What if it wasn’t “just a threat”? What if it was a promise? What if it was a cry for help that went unnoticed? What if this is the last time I see my child alive?

I’ve had a knot in the pit of my stomach now for a week because we were not given all the facts. How could we be? It concerns a minor. We have to trust that the school is doing all that it can to protect our children from threats and polar bears and crazy people with guns. It’s hard to trust in others to protect your children in today’s world.

Of course, as a parent, the thought of someone putting our babies in danger is cause for pitchforks and rioting. We are all very upset. Why wasn’t school canceled? Why were we not told until the end of the day by way of a “creepy note”. Why would a child tell other children maliciously that they are “on my list”? What do we do? Where do we go from here?

The child was suspended which is what I consider a time-out. Not expelled, not ordered to compulsory psychiatric treatment but given the legally mandated slap on the wrist and called a bad boy.

I don’t know who the kid is and I don’t know what he might be going through. It might all be terrible and maybe he deserves my compassion and understanding but when it’s my child who is being put in danger, that all goes out the window. I am not reasonable when you threaten the most important thing in my world. I am outraged. I am mad. I want to feel secure again but I can’t.

But I pretend that I am for my girls. I teach my kids what to do in case of an emergency. I send them with their phones and tell them to bob and weave. I hug them tight and kiss them goodbye every single morning knowing that this could be the last time I see them while acting like everything is alright; like this is normal. Because this is our new normal.

I just want my daughters to be safe and less vulnerable when they are at school; when they are anywhere. What are my options? Put them in a bubble? Homeschool? Hide them away and make them think the world is a fairytale where everything and everyone is good? To lie to them?

I can’t, no matter how much I may want to because the world is not any of those things and I don’t want them to spend their lives hiding from life. I want them to explore, be carefree and adventurous. I want them to embrace all that life has to offer and you can’t do that from inside the safety of a prison of your mom’s making. So, I send them out into the world every day prepared (unknowingly) for the worst, hoping for the best and (me) praying for survival.

No matter how much we want to believe it, we cannot protect our children when they are outside of our care. We can only teach them to survive and advocate for their safety. I’m not trying to scare you. I know we are all already living with this fear. I just wanted you to know that it’s not just something that happens someplace else to someone else’s child.

Do you know what to do if your child is threatened from someone inside the school?

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things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

I want my daughters to enjoy their childhood. My goal as a parent is simple; to love my children so unconditionally that they believe that they can do anything they set their minds to because I will always love and support them. My wish is that one-day they look back on their childhood with no regrets. Sounds crazy, right? I don’t want perfection, I just want them to be happy and feel free to be their best selves.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

Childhood is for believing anything is possible, for unwavering faith in oneself and in the possibilities.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

Childhood is for bravery and new experiences without judgment or prejudice. Childhood is such a fleeting moment in our lives but an absolute profound part of the person we will become. I want childhood to be limitless for my girls. I want them to play and soak up every single moment of wonder and happiness that can only occur in these years.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

I won’t even tell you the lie that I let my children free-range. I’m not a chicken and they are not eggs. I also don’t want to have a heart attack wondering if my children are safe but I don’t want them to be afraid of the world. I want them to be up for challenges and, in all honesty, I don’t want them to be afraid of anything. I want them to make informed decisions but not be afraid to live because if you waste your life worrying, you miss out on all the beautiful, exciting, unexpected experiences that make life rich and decadent.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

I want them to experience catching fireflies on warm summer nights, squealing with delight as they zip line through the world of wonder beneath our oak trees in the backyard. I want hours spent lying in the grass reading books in their teepee, as they are transported worlds away through words and their limitless imaginations. I want Saturday mornings together watching cartoons and laughing while trying our best not to shoot Frosted Flakes out of our noses.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

That’s what childhood is all about.

I want made up songs and pretend fairies. I want them to have all the magic they deserve. I want them to linger outside under the stars, listening to stories by the crackling campfire. I want sunrises on the ocean and long talks beneath the majestic Blue Moon.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

I want howling at the moon, fireworks and swinging so high that you scare yourself and swimming and cannonballing until you’re too tired to breathe and I want to be right there with them enjoying it all, giving them just enough room to do it on their own but always in my line of sight…even when they don’t realize I’m watching.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

Childhood is for making memories and becoming who you want to be and I want my girls to look back one day and say, life is beautiful because when I was little my parents encouraged me to aim for the stars and when I couldn’t reach, they lifted me up on their shoulders just enough to touch my dreams.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

It’s not impossible. Children want our attention and our love and that’s all. This summer I have made it my mission to unplug as much as possible and just play with my kids; listen to my kids and give them my undivided attention. I’ve learned so much because I’ve finally shut out the world and paid attention to what’s most important. I’ve spent the summer playing with my girls outside on the best children’s outdoor playhouse and traveling and exploring with my family. It’s been our best summer yet.

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

How are you filling your child’s memories with happiness?

things to do that that make your child happy, childhood, memories, play, fun, best mom ever, happiness is free, the love of a parent

Disclosure: This is a compensated post written for Frosted Flakes but all opinions on the magic of childhood are my own.
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This morning, I was all excited walking around the grocery store.You know, it was Monday..my favorite day of the week.I was in desperate need of replenishing the fridge, since we had been gone all of last week. I was walking around, patting myself on the back because I was buying all organic and free range this and that. I spent a small fortune in the grocery but no worries. I was trying to find redemption with the food gods from all the hydrogenated, greasy, fat that I had put in my girls bodies over Spring break. That is nothing to speak of the damn burrito as big as my head that I consumed. (Shhh, it was totally worth the 1.5 pounds I gained.) That thing was sinfully delicious.But I digress…..yumm….burrito.

So,I’m walking around the grocery all head up my ass in a great effing mood for a Monday and then it happened.As Gabs and I were perusing the cereal aisle, contemplating which cereal would be the best tasting and the healthiest ( because today that was way up the list)and a mommy with a newborn happened toward us.She looked haggard and exhausted.Oh how I remember that feeling.Of course, I extended the Mommy olive branch and gave her the sympathetic “I feel your pain” smile and said, “Hi,I’m sorry are we in your way?” Which we clearly were not but I was trying to segue into “How old is your baby?’ “OMG, she/he is so freaking adorable”

What did she say? NOTHING.She completely ignored me and to add insult to injury pushed past me with the “You are such an asshole” look. WTF? I was flabbergasted and then I set straight to finding the “it’s not you, it’s me” scenario. Because clearly, it was HER!This is what I came up with:

  • Perhaps, she was deaf and did not hear me speak to her.
  • Perhaps, she doesn’t speak or understand English.
  • Maybe, she was so exhausted that she was incoherent, on Mommy autopilot.
  • Maybe she had a raging case of explosive diarrhea that was about to erupt.
  • Perhaps, she was heavily sedated.
  • Maybe she was rushing to get outside because her 3 year old was locked in the closet at home?
  • Maybe her dog was projectile vomiting in the car?
  • Maybe she was part of some weird scavenger hunt in which she was supposed to collect peoples happiness and dash hopes.
  • Maybe the baby was stolen.
  • Or maybe,she was just a mean Mother Focker.

Either way, you never know what’s going through someone’s head or in their lives so I can only worry about me. I was annoyed for a minute ( maybe a couple more) but I went home and had a fabulous free range, grass fed, organic lunch with my girls and replenished my joy knowing that as she rushed passed me she carried with her a trail of toilet paper.I told you maybe she had explosive diarrhea. I would have told her but ,you know, she was so busy being deaf and making ugly faces at me that she probably wouldn’t have heard me anyway.


In case you missed it…I was featured on SheKnows Top 10 Blogs that will make you think. I am so thrilled and honored to be on this list among so many great bloggers and it was written by one of the bloggers who I respect the most, Naomi AKA Cool Whip Mom.

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Congrats everyone! You’ve made it an entire month, and damn it, I hope you’re all better parents for it. Or I’ve completely bored you to death with my soap boxing:)

No worries, I will be posting once again about how my girls are driving me out of my mind, I’m missing my husband terribly as he works in yet another state ( damn economy), that I am so stressed that my hair is falling out or I’ve roared at my children or some other nonsense.Those posts will gain me forgiveness for all this forced upon “betterness.” But first, don’t forget tomorrow starts the BE a BETTER ME challenge to help me shift my focus on me..and for you to shift the focus on you. After all, we deserve to be a priority on our own to do list.

Today I share with you some wisdom from Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored!

Be a Better Parent Challenge #31: Parent the kids you have

It is the greatest challenge of all, I believe, but also, the greatest reward – when you can take in all the advice (and assvice) and apply what works FOR YOUR SPECIFIC CHILD. For God’s sake don’t compare your little miracle to any other child. Your child is their own unique person. Keep in mind the square child you are trying to fit in a round hole may be the next Picasso, Einstein, Freud, Austen, Shakespeare,President. Let them be the best them they are and nurture, support and love them no matter what!Do that and you will be without a doubt the best parent to them that they could ever need or want.

I’ve spent the last 5 years trying to make certain parenting philosophies work for me and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no one right way; there are loads of ways that work for different combinations of parents and children.My children are who they are and that is like no one else and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I think they are pretty friggin spectacular albeit high maintenance. I made them that way, I chose to raise them with high expectations and lofty goals and the firm belief all things are possible through hard work and dedication.They are not entitled, they know that life is work and it can be as beautiful and amazing as you want it to be. Whatever they decide to put in is what they will get out.

We bog ourselves down with wanting to be the best parent and we have in our mind what that is – does she make homemade bread, does she read four stories to her kids every night, does she toss out her television?How do her kids behave? Where are her kids at educationally in comparison to where my kids are?Does her homemade baby food and breast milk make her a better Mommy than me? Am I limiting my kids potential by not going organic? Should my kid be taking more classes? OMG, did I mess my kids whole life up by using disposable diapers? Did that drop off the changing table make them unable to play the flute? Why is my kids talking /walking/potty training later? What did I do?

Don’t lie – you’ve played that game in your head.Hell, you’re probably playing it right now!It’s a stupid game. Do your best for the kid you have, help them excel in their strengths. Don’t judge them for their weaknesses. Be the parent you wish you had.

I say, toss all those ridiculous ideas of comparison and regimented milestones out. Listen to what your gut is telling you. Listen to your heart. Mommy intuition is a great thing. AS I always say, there is nothing you can tell me about my child that I don’t already know…at the very least in my heart.

Read blogs, books, and websites.And then figure out what works best for your kid. And your other kids.It’ll probably be different for each one, because our miracles are as unique as their fingerprints.SO be ready to work, but remember what you receive out of this parenting gig is  a plethora of kisses, a lifetime of love, and the priceless journey of raising and knowing these amazing little humans we brought forth into the world! Love them! Love yourself!Happy Mothering!

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mommy helper wanted, babysitter, mom and daughter power struggle

Mommy Helper wanted STAT to pick up the slack. Can any mom out there relate? It seems that I, along with every other Mom in the world, may be in need of a little help, in the way of an extra pair of arms, eyes, and ears. Not to say we should evolve into some sort of crazy mutant cyborg with highly functioning ears, eyes, and at least two MORE fully functional arms but something of the like, but not so scary. I was thinking more in the way of a Mommy assistant. I don’t think its too much to ask. CEOs have assistants and all they do is run a company. Moms raise the future, we grow babies, we produce milk for God’s sake. It’s a big job and we need a little help.

Mommy Helper Wanted

Now, I am not referring to a nanny, though that would be nice as well, I suppose. But I really want to do this Mommy gig..hands on, so a Nanny would sort of be cheating..for me. I’m only talking about me. I don’t know your situation and I’m not being judgmental. If you have a nanny at your disposal, you go girl! You are just smarter than me. You probably knew to get an epidural at 4 centimeters too. No heroics. No un-medicated transition labor for you. So I’m a little hard-headed and it takes me longer to give in to reason. I learn….eventually.

READ ALSO: What does Birth Feel Like

Anyways, I think I just need a silent partner who sort of shadows me and picks up the slack. You know, Mommy turns her head..baby starts to roll off the changing table, shadow assistant steps in and stops the whole thing from coming to fruition. Mommy needs to work out, screaming baby wakes up mid-workout; no problem, ninja assistant slips in, puts kid back to sleep…Mommy gets her figure back. Mommy’s running errands, she’s running late; the “assistant” gets dinner started and when Mommy pulls up with sleeping kiddies…oh, yeah, you know what happens next….That wonderful, God bless her, bitch runs out to the SUV and grabs the groceries while you very quietly and meticulously remove the child from the car seat and relocate them to bed. In turn, earning yourself a well deserved hour of quiet to pay bills and hear yourself think.

READ ALSO: This Mom Brain is going to Kill Someone

I bet the Ninja Mommy Helper would be great for fielding people at the door, unwanted phone calls, wrangling playdates gone awry. She could do laundry, dishes ( dishes would be a must), pick up laundry and toy rooms. She could read all the parenting books and highlight the important information in her nightly report to me. She could do all the other stuff while I actually get to be the Mommy! For example, I’d kiss booboos, and she would call to schedule doctors’ appointments. Sweet right? How amazing that would be? I’d be so much less stressed and I am sure that would make me a higher level functioning, all-around much better Mommy. Sign me up. But how to find the perfect babysitter, I’ve got you covered! Check this out.

Silent Ninja Mommy Assistant

So, who could fill such a tall order? A nanny does a lot of Mommying ( at least the ones I know) so that wouldn’t work for me. A maid only does the cleaning, not such an asset if the kid is running around the house naked with scissors. A Mommy’s little helper could go either way, I think it is a great idea in theory but if they’re too young…you end up with another kid on your hands. A babysitter, well, that conjures images of a teenager eating pizza, and texting waiting to get slashed in a B movie while she’s supposed to be watching my kids… so that doesn’t really sound all that appealing. Nothing like putting a kid who attracts Micheal Myers into the situation. No thanks.

READ ALSO: Best Horror Movies to Watch with Your Kids

If you really are in need of a baby sitter you need to find someone reliable. Let’s talk straight, no one is going to love your child the way you do — but maybe, just maybe, with a little due diligence, extensive background checks, and a whole lot of experience you’ll find someone who you can trust for a few hours to keep your child safe and attended to in your absence. I know it feels impossible but it’s not. You can do this, mama. Here are  7 great tips for choosing the right babysitter.

A Daddy is perfect except for the fact that most Daddy’s are missing the “ears” part, I swear they never hear kids yelling and bickering (it’s the thing I envy about my husband the most). But no one else could love or have the kids best interest at heart as much as a Daddy…except for a Mommy, of course! I guess its just my own issue. But I do know unequivocally that I can use some assistance.

Hmmm, I wonder how that whole cloning business is coming. Then I could have a helper that would do everything I expected, in exactly the same way as I would do it myself. It would be me times two. Perfection! Oh, wait, me and myself having PMS at the same time..yikes bad idea. All the “extra” hands in the world aren’t worth that. Guess its back to the drawing board. But if anyone knows of a silent ninja Mommy assistant that would fit the bill, send her my way. I’d even take a Nanny McPhee, but no Mary Poppins. Ms. Poppins gets a little too attached to the kiddies for my taste. You can never be too careful these days.

What would be your ad for mommy helper wanted?

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I am a Mommy, first and foremost. It’s a fact of my life. I love it. I chose it. This is not something that I got trapped into, this was something that I intentionally chose, in fact, it was one of my loftiest aspirations. I used to be a daughter and sister, then a wife, then a Mommy. Somewhere in there, for a brief fleeting moment, I got to be “Debi”. I remember that girl, I liked her. She was a lot like me but had absolutely no real ramifications for her behavior. It was awesome.

It was pre-filter on the mouth and brain for child security reasons, yet, post the imposed filter of my personal freedoms by my Father:)It was wonderful; it was euphoric. I was selfish, carefree, and completely oblivious to the wants and needs of others. I always did exactly what “I” wanted to do, with no care or concern for anyone else. I know it sounds terribly vain and narcissistic, and perhaps it was, but it was fabulous..for that time in my life…all 15 minutes of it. These days, I am “Mommy”, “Honey”, “Mama” ,”You”, “Mother”, and “Mrs. Cruz” but hardly anyone ever calls me “Debi” anymore.I feel as if I have disappeared figuratively and literally. But for someone who is invisible, I certainly do stay busy. How can this be?

It is absolutely mind-boggling to me but I am fairly certain that I am not alone in this situation. Can I get an amen from my Mommies out there:) So, I go through life, these days, busier than ever before yet feeling like I really never accomplish anything in my days. Every night, I am thoroughly exhausted ( believe me..just ask my husband)but usually can’t sleep.Every morning, I am still tired because I was up the previous night until 2 am thinking of all the “Stuff” I have to do the next day. No fair, right?

Last year, I made a conscious decision that 2009 was going to be the year of “Debi”. I had my mind made up, I was planning to plan to revive that feisty broad.It’s pretty bad when you are telling your husband something about yourself before he met you and he is looking at you like you are full of shit because the “you” he knows, would never do something like that.I was determined, I was making a comeback in my own life. That was my plan! Then, real-life and minutia got in my way.

So, around September ( my birthday to be exact) I put my foot down and started getting to it…for like the 100th time since I had realized that I wanted to change some things. This time it was different though. This time, I made real efforts. I joined Weight Watchers ( yes, to my initial utter embarrassment. I had so convinced myself that I was not “that” fat but I was, in fact, “that” fat and let me tell you..admitting it was the first real step towards fixing it !) , I started walking and working out and making a genuine effort..and didn’t quit or make up excuses after I got bored with it. This time I approached it like an adult. I also joined some Mom’s groups that stress being a woman and not just a “Mommy”, I made new friends ( I had to we had just moved halfway across the country from absolutely everyone we knew), I got a babysitter ( a first for my children aside from the very occasional grandparent) and I forced myself to go out without my children. At my husband’s insistence, I even made it out to a few MNO!

Life was turning around. People were calling me “Deborah”, granted it wasn’t Debi but hey, a more adult version of myself is a good thing, right? Then the holidays hit. We traveled and it was one thing after another. So, here we are at the beginning of 2010. I am still forging on to revive myself. I am the priority in my life now, well…I am one of the top 3, for sure. I am a work in progress, but that is ok. As long as I am on my own to-do list, there is hope for “Debi” My point being, with a little real concerted effort, I am 25 lbs. smaller than I was in September, and I have made some wonderful new friends, and I am feeling more like the starring role in my own Cinderella story versus the cat that belonged to the ugly stepsisters.

I feel like by getting back to “Debi” and introducing that intelligent, beautiful, healthy, cultured, well-read, strong woman to my girls I am not only regaining my independence, my very existence… I am showing them, by living example, that they are important and vital to their own life story. That no matter who they are, what they think, what they look like, and what they choose to be or do in their lives, they must be present and they must be content with the versions of themselves who are present because they are imperative to their own happiness and nothing is more important than feeling like you matter and being fulfilled with who you are in your own life.

Who I am is a direct reflection of who my daughters will someday become. I want them to know they can have the world and that they deserve it all and so does Mommy.The paddles are out, Clear…..

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