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Be a better parent challenge – Day 31 – Parent the kids you have

by Deborah Cruz

Congrats everyone! You’ve made it an entire month, and damn it, I hope you’re all better parents for it. Or I’ve completely bored you to death with my soap boxing:)

No worries, I will be posting once again about how my girls are driving me out of my mind, I’m missing my husband terribly as he works in yet another state ( damn economy), that I am so stressed that my hair is falling out or I’ve roared at my children or some other nonsense.Those posts will gain me forgiveness for all this forced upon “betterness.” But first, don’t forget tomorrow starts the BE a BETTER ME challenge to help me shift my focus on me..and for you to shift the focus on you. After all, we deserve to be a priority on our own to do list.

Today I share with you some wisdom from Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored!

Be a Better Parent Challenge #31: Parent the kids you have

It is the greatest challenge of all, I believe, but also, the greatest reward – when you can take in all the advice (and assvice) and apply what works FOR YOUR SPECIFIC CHILD. For God’s sake don’t compare your little miracle to any other child. Your child is their own unique person. Keep in mind the square child you are trying to fit in a round hole may be the next Picasso, Einstein, Freud, Austen, Shakespeare,President. Let them be the best them they are and nurture, support and love them no matter what!Do that and you will be without a doubt the best parent to them that they could ever need or want.

I’ve spent the last 5 years trying to make certain parenting philosophies work for me and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no one right way; there are loads of ways that work for different combinations of parents and children.My children are who they are and that is like no one else and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I think they are pretty friggin spectacular albeit high maintenance. I made them that way, I chose to raise them with high expectations and lofty goals and the firm belief all things are possible through hard work and dedication.They are not entitled, they know that life is work and it can be as beautiful and amazing as you want it to be. Whatever they decide to put in is what they will get out.

We bog ourselves down with wanting to be the best parent and we have in our mind what that is – does she make homemade bread, does she read four stories to her kids every night, does she toss out her television?How do her kids behave? Where are her kids at educationally in comparison to where my kids are?Does her homemade baby food and breast milk make her a better Mommy than me? Am I limiting my kids potential by not going organic? Should my kid be taking more classes? OMG, did I mess my kids whole life up by using disposable diapers? Did that drop off the changing table make them unable to play the flute? Why is my kids talking /walking/potty training later? What did I do?

Don’t lie – you’ve played that game in your head.Hell, you’re probably playing it right now!It’s a stupid game. Do your best for the kid you have, help them excel in their strengths. Don’t judge them for their weaknesses. Be the parent you wish you had.

I say, toss all those ridiculous ideas of comparison and regimented milestones out. Listen to what your gut is telling you. Listen to your heart. Mommy intuition is a great thing. AS I always say, there is nothing you can tell me about my child that I don’t already know…at the very least in my heart.

Read blogs, books, and websites.And then figure out what works best for your kid. And your other kids.It’ll probably be different for each one, because our miracles are as unique as their fingerprints.SO be ready to work, but remember what you receive out of this parenting gig is  a plethora of kisses, a lifetime of love, and the priceless journey of raising and knowing these amazing little humans we brought forth into the world! Love them! Love yourself!Happy Mothering!

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Kerri 2010/08/31 - 12:06 pm

Your challenges are fantastic and am looking forward to the "better me" challenge and reading more "throat punch thursdays" 🙂


Rachel 2010/08/31 - 12:37 pm

Amen to that sister!

I'm following from FMBT, come follow me too! Have a great day!


The Empress 2010/08/31 - 3:53 pm

I love this advice. Parent the kids you HAVE. Wonderful…I will be saying that daily to myself!

Elizabeth Flora Ross 2010/08/31 - 4:01 pm

I say this all the time. Do NOT compare your kids to other kids! My daughter is an individual and deserves to be treated as such. THANK YOU for this wonderful post!

Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) 2010/08/31 - 4:08 pm

I really love this post and I don't think we, as Mothers can read it enough! I am such a believer in following your Mom intuition and letting your child be the guide. Every child is different and we should encourage and treat them that way. What a fantastically written piece. Thank You!

Maria Mcclain 2010/09/01 - 5:35 pm

Hey you have a very interesting blog, i will visit ur blog very often, hope u go for this website to increase visitor.Happy Blogging!!!

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