Tag:

health

Gallbladder attack, gallbladder surgery, gallstones

Gallbladder Removal Surgery Sent Me into the Witness Protection

by Deborah Cruz 2016/04/25

Ever wonder how it feels to have gallbladder removal surgery? Remember the night when macaroni and cheese almost killed me? Well, this past Wednesday, I went to the surgeon and had gallbladder removal surgery. I thought, hallelujah, I will finally be out of pain. But maybe I was just naïve and had no idea what I was getting myself into.

We arrived at the hospital at 9 a.m. and I was scheduled for surgery at 10:30 a.m. Yes, I told them I needed an early appointment because I get hangry. They happily obliged. In fact, once I arrived, they took me straight back and prepped me for surgery. I was pretty excited to not feel like I was dying.

Not going to lie, I was a little terrified about gallbladder removal surgery.

But a few weird things happened 1) my great aunt who is almost 90 called me the night before practically in tears to tell me she was praying for me. This is the same woman who is just patiently waiting for her own heart to give out. 2) My neighbor, who is in her 60’s and falling apart before our very eyes asked, “Aren’t you nervous?” (Well, I wasn’t until she asked me.) 3) The Silkwood baths that I was demanded to take the night before and the morning of my surgery. I felt uncertain. I got spooked about the gallbladder removal surgery that I was honestly, looking forward to having.

As soon as I got into my gown, my surgeon and anesthesiologist showed up. They were ready early. Everything got fast-tracked. Cool, I thought, maybe I could be home by lunch. No such luck.

We went back to surgery and, for the first time ever, I went unconscious from the IV pain meds before they even got the chance to tell me to count backward from 10. When I woke up in recovery, I was in lots of pain, completely groggy and somehow had lost 3 hours. I was supposed to be home, but instead, I was still on a gurney and feeling completely out of sorts and in extreme pain.

The worst and most unexpected was the trapped air pain. Oh me, oh my! I knew that during gallbladder removal surgery they were going to pump my stomach full of air to make navigating the laparoscope easier but I had no expectation of the pain that would accompany that trapped air. I fell unconscious when I came home, only to be awoken by a searing pain in my shoulder so fierce that it made childbirth feel like a splinter. I was screaming and crying in pain. I frantically begged the Big Guy to call the surgeon, only to find out that it was normal and expected.

I didn’t sign up for that shit.

No one told me about that, so I’m warning you!

Another fun surprise, I found out my gallbladder was not located where it is supposed to be. Your gallbladder is supposed to be tucked up under your liver, mine somehow had migrated to the middle of my chest. Was I born deformed? Had it moved during one of my pregnancies? Was it twisted? All I know is that even the surgeon was grossed out by it. Things didn’t go as planned or expected.

Is gallbladder surgery the only way to get rid of the issue? Typically, but it depends on your situation. If you are willing to completely overhaul your diet ( I did try this way but it wasn’t feasible for me longterm), sometimes you can mitigate the symptoms. However, for mire severe inflammation cases, removal is the best solution. Unfortunately, if the gallbladder problems are too severe, surgeons may need to drain some of the bile to reduce swelling before gallbladder removal surgery can even be performed. This could mean being saddled for days or weeks with a catheter and a bag that’ll need changing regularly. It’s imperative to ensure that if this happens, you have access to the right equipment, like Coloplast catheters, during the drainage period. Suffering from gallstones is definitely not easy and very painful. My gallbladder attacks were more unbearable than my unmedicated, Pitocin induced labor and delivery.

Today, we are 5 days post op and it’s been a doozy of a weekend. The surgeon put a transdermal scop patch behind my ear to stop the projectile vomiting. That was nice of him since coughing, projectile barfing, sneezing and hiccupping after having your gallbladder removed, it’s a little excruciating. Only, one problem, I had to take it off after 72 hours. That was a good thing too because the damn thing was making me blind. Seriously, on top of being sore like I had done 1 million sit-ups and higher than a kite on pain pills, I couldn’t even read Facebook. My vision was so blurry that I couldn’t read my phone.

I removed the patch and then my nausea came back with a vengeance. I’m not sure if it’s from the anesthesia, the pain pills or just the change in my digestion from the removal of the gallbladder. All I know is that Zofran was powerless against it so I did what any desperately nauseated person would do, I sent the Big Guy to Walgreens for some motion sickness bands.

Thankfully, I’m feeling a little less nauseated and a little more normal. I’m hoping this means that my health is on the upswing and soon, I won’t have to worry about things like nausea and the label on every single piece of food that I put in my mouth.

Gallbladder Removal Surgery Changed my life

There is one other unexpected side effect, as the tape has begun to come apart from the incision on my belly button, I realized that I did not leave the hospital with the same belly button as I went in with. To be honest, I used to have this adorable little belly button and now, it’s hideous. It may be the swelling but as it stands, I may have to take this ugly thing and go into witness protection; at the very least, I certainly need to take my belly button and go into hiding.

It’s swollen, much larger than it was and, at the risk of being too graphic, it looks like a piece of exposed meat in there. I think some glue has come loose. I’m freaking out. All joking aside, I’m calling my surgeon tomorrow and asking him to take a look because I really don’t think this is what my belly button is supposed to look like after gallbladder removal surgery.

Have you had gallbladder removal surgery? If so, how did it change your life and eating habits?

2016/04/25 14 comments

Taking Care of Me is Taking Care of My Family

by Deborah Cruz 2016/03/08

written by Deborah Cruz

Do you find it hard to make time for taking care of yourself? Lately, I’ve resolved to get my health back on track, which means working out, portion control and making healthier choices in the foods I eat. Sounds easy, right? It’s harder than you think, especially for a busy mom of two little girls on the go.

It’s been going pretty well. Like anything in life, it’s hard to break bad habits like mindless eating and not moving. I’ve had to make conscious decisions to get up and work out and to measure out my portions but it’s getting easier. I’ve done this by finding a workout that I love because it’s dancing and using containers and a scale to measure my foods before I portion them.

The one thing I am having trouble with is eating when I am hungry. I get so busy that I either forget to eat until I need to be someplace or I simply don’t have the time to find something nutritious so I grab whatever happens to be in front of me and honestly, it’s not usually anything that I should be putting in my mouth at such a quantity of with such fervor. So, I’ve decided to start keeping fresh fruits (washed, dried and ready to eat), fresh veggies (washed, cut up and in baggies) and high protein bars at my disposal.

The thing that is proving the hardest is satisfying my sweet tooth because even though my mind knows that’s a slippery slope, my cravings still crave it. It’s getting easier and I’m not shoveling all the carbs into my mouth without consideration like I was before but I still have those times of the month when I just need something sweet or people could get hurt. You know what I mean.

I’ve found two ways to satisfy these cravings that is a much healthier choice than reaching for a brownie or cookies. I’ve started making smoothies using fresh or frozen fruits and vanilla almond milk with protein powder. My favorite is 1 banana, ½ cup of mixed frozen berries, ½ cup of vanilla almond milk and about 3 oz. of vanilla protein powder. I throw it all in my individual smoothie blender and satisfy my sweet tooth guilt free.

Now, that’s taking care of yourself!

My other favorite treat is Fiber One’s new Cheesecake bars. My family has always been a fan of the Fiber One bars. The girls love the brownies and I love the lemon bars but I have a new favorite, the new Fiber One Cheesecake bar in Salted Caramel. My little one prefers the Fiber One Cheesecake bar in strawberry. Honestly, it’s hard to go wrong.

The best part is aside from grabbing them on the go for myself, I can give them to my girls with a piece of fresh fruit and a glass of milk for a fast, healthy breakfast. It’s perfect on those days when we are running late for school, as a light afternoon snack between cheer and ballet or gymnastics or even for dessert, when you just need a little something sweet.

It works for me. It’s made changing my eating habits and developing a healthier lifestyle a lot easier because I don’t feel deprived. I don’t feel like I’m being punished. I feel like I’m just learning to making better choices and in the long run, I think that will mean the difference between succeeding at getting healthy and failure. When it comes to my health, failure just isn’t an option anymore.

What’s your favorite healthy snack you eat when taking care of yourself?

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Fiber One through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Fiber One’s Cheesecake Bars, all opinions about taking care of yourself and Fiber One’s Cheesecake Bars are my own.

2016/03/08 0 comment

cast fetish, broken leg, recovery, updates from the couch, physical therapy

Personal Throat Punch Thursday

Cast Fetish the Unexpected Side Effect of my Broken Leg

by Deborah Cruz 2015/11/19

written by Deborah Cruz

I’ve had an eventful week, I discovered what the term cast fetish means. Ever heard of it? Me neither until now.

Last week I had my 8-week follow up appointment with my orthopedic surgeon for my broken leg and the news was good. I was released to begin weight bearing. This week I’m up to half weight bearing. I’m not fully functional yet but I’m driving and it’s better than being stuck on the couch like I had been for the previous 8 weeks. 8 weeks is a lifetime when you are used to being on the go all the time. I felt like I was doing time or under house arrest.

When the doctor gave me the news that I could start walking with crutches, I was so excited. I nearly danced a happy dance until I realized that my leg might not be quite strong enough yet so instead I opted for a little wheelchair boogie. Oh yes, I did!

The thing is this has been a crazy, long eight weeks and if it weren’t for all the amazing people who have jumped in to support me and pick up the slack and just pray and cheer me up, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it. Granted I’m still going through it but I feel like I’m coming out the other side. I can put some weight on my foot. That means everything. I never knew how much until now.

This experience has forced me to slow down and take inventory of my life and my health. I have reprioritized because the things I was racing around and breaking my neck to get to just aren’t that important anymore.

I’ve also garnered a new respect for toddlers. No wonder it takes them so long to learn to walk. It’s scary, especially with the possibility of falling ever looming. The last time I fell, my entire life changed.

I started physical therapy with elastic resistance bands on my broken foot this week. I was super excited because, in my mind, the more I can do to get back to normal the better life will be. My doctor has warned me that there might be setbacks but, you know me, I always think I’m going to be the exception so I went for it. I was all in at Tuesday’s physical therapy session and by Tuesday night, I was nearly in tears because my leg is so sore. That’s what I get for showing off.

There’s been some swelling and stiffness the last couple of days. I have another therapy session in about 15 minutes. I won’t lie. I’m kind of terrified. I want to keep moving forward. I don’t want to keep getting slowed down by pain but I guess that’s all part of recovery.

Of course, through all of this, I’ve discovered a bizarre, even seedy, side to broken bones. Throughout the entire ordeal, I’ve been posting photos and updates of my broken leg to my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts because as a blogger, this is what I do. It’s been a great source of moral support. However, recently, I have noticed a rash of likes on my Instagram photos of my broken leg. Huh? Then it happened.

My Instagram profile is public because it’s part of my brand but I go through and block anyone who I get the “heebie-jeebies” from because there are photos of my children on there. So imagine my shock when suddenly there were tons of likes on every one of the photos I posted of my broken leg and most of those were from men who I don’t know in real life.

I was curious so I checked out their pages and every single one of them are men with fetishes for women with broken legs and/or casts. It’s a real thing.

Cast fetish is a kind of fetishism with an erotic concentration on orthopedic casts (plaster, polymer, bandage, etc.) It is usually related to the fetishes of feet, stockings, shoes and amputees. The sufferers usually like the opposite gender wearing casts on their limbs, using crutches, or limping around. Sometimes, socks and stockings will increase the attraction of the afflicted. Basically, these fetishists prefer their partners physically broken and for maximum pleasure, missing limbs.

It’s called a cast fetish.

I’ve never felt so dirty in my entire life. I mean, WTF, the thought of some creepy troll wanking himself to my dislocated ankle is disturbing to say the least. Are these men sadist who get their rocks off from seeing a woman in pain?

Then I realized there is an entire subculture of men with this fetish. In fact, there is porn that actually specializes in this sort of injury. What? I guess it takes all kinds. I won’t judge but I also won’t allow you to file my agony in your spank bank for later use. Sorry, I’ll have to block you.

What’s the weirdest thing you ever heard or saw on social media?

Did you know there was such a thing as a broken leg or cast fetish?

2015/11/19 16 comments

health, fuel up to play 60, parenting, play more, active kids

Health Parenting

How Playing More Could Save Our Kids Lives

by Deborah Cruz 2015/10/09

written by Deborah Cruz

https://bit.ly/1NnelkQ
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 En Español and Latina Bloggers Connect.

As a parent, one of my biggest responsibilities is to teach my daughters healthy habits so they grow up healthy and strong. I am setting the tone for the rest of their lives. It’s a lot harder than it sounds or than I ever could have anticipated.

We live in a world today where a busy lifestyle is the norm and many of us don’t even get the chance to eat breakfast. To add insult to injury, we also live in a time where children are both developing fewer healthy eating habits and moving far less. The hardest part of all is figuring out, among all of these obstacles, how to get our kids moving more and eating healthier.

That’s where programs like Fuel Up to Play 60 come in. It’s the largest in-school health and wellness program founded by the National Dairy Council and the NFL, in collaboration with the USDA, that empowers today’s youth to lead healthier lives. PepsiCo. Foundation is a key partner in the funding of the program extension.

Fuel Up to Play 60 provides online resources and hosts events with NFL players to inspire kids. Even better, the recently launched Fuel Up to Play 60 en español program now offers Spanish language resources, aimed at getting Hispanic parents and communities involved in health, nutrition and fitness inside and outside of the classroom.

In our home growing up, physical activity was always very important to our parents. They always encouraged us to play outside and join sports. When we weren’t at school or doing homework, our dad was always outside with us playing soccer or tennis or taking us to the beach to swim. Some of my fondest memories as a child revolve around long bike rides, runs or hikes with my father.

Physical activity, along with good nutrition, are at the center of Fuel Up to Play 60 en español too. With programs like Fuel Up to Play 60, our children are getting a healthy inschool nutrition and physical activity program that solidifies the healthier lifestyle that we are teaching them at home.

I was fortunate to have had good role models of health, however, I did develop some less desirable eating habits in my early teens. Habits that caused me to gain weight and made staying in shape more and more challenging. I don’t want that for my children.

My philosophy is that it is my responsibility to prevent that from happeningand to instill healthy habits with my children early on. As a Latina mom, I cook a lot of amazing Latino dishes with foods that are rich in flavor and high in calories. They are absolutely delicious, but it’s my job to not let that negatively affect my daughter’s’ health or body image.

I do my part by making healthy substitutions when I can and I teach moderation as a virtue. I make moving feel like a privilege and they have a lot of fun and stay healthy without feeling like they are ever being punished. As far as they are concerned, playing and being active is a fun way to spend their days outside and enjoy their parents. I’ve always made my dishes in the healthy version so they’ve never known the full effects of the high sugar and grease contents of the original recipes. To be honest, at this point, I’m not sure they’d even like it.

To learn more about the Fuel Up to Play 60 program please join us for the Twitter party that will take place on October 15, 2015 at 8PM EST/5PM PST using the hashtag #FuelGreatness with special guest @FUTP60.

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of National Dairy Council and Latina Bloggers Connect. The opinions and text are all mine.

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2015/10/09 0 comment

Weight Loss

How Ordering Lilly Pulitzer Changed my Life

by Deborah Cruz 2015/04/20

written by Deborah Cruz

I scored some Lilly Pulitzer yesterday. You know how they say happiness comes from within? Well, I never really understood that statement until this weekend. For the first time, in a long time, I felt confident. I love the bold and beautiful Lilly Pulitzer prints and I went for it. How could that happiness not belong in my wardrobe?

Don’t worry; I didn’t come to fisticuffs with any other moms at my local Target because there is nothing worth fighting that hard over except for my dreams and my children’s lives. I got mine online by stalking my prey and waiting patiently. I simply decided that if it were meant to be, I’d get it. If not, I wouldn’t. It’s that simple. I’ve been embracing this more relaxed attitude lately. If you know me, you know I’m usually the much more uptight type. I’m a known helicopter mom and control freak; a heart attack waiting to happen, if you will.

I woke up last Friday morning and went to my Weight Watchers meeting, because you all know how much I love to get weighed by a stranger. Not my favorite thing to do but a necessary evil if I want to change my fat girl walking status.. It’s been a month since I started attending meetings again. I have lost a grand total (drumroll, please) of 9 pounds and 18.5 inches. I don’t really see a difference but I certainly feel a difference. Clothes are starting to get a little loose and mentally, I am feeling a lot better about me.

After my meeting, I decided to bite the bullet and go get measured for my bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding. If you have ever been over weight, you know that I had been dreading this for months (the fitting not the dress). I put it off for as long as I could but I just couldn’t keep stressing my sister out. It’s one thing when my weight keeps me from doing stuff that I want to do but I refuse to let it impede in anyone I love’s life. This is why I still put on my bathing suit to hit the pool even though wearing bathing suits in public is the worst.

I went by myself to the bridal shop so that I didn’t take out my frustrations on my husband or the girls. To my surprise, for the first time in probably 20 years, I realized that I felt sexy in something and not fat. I had forgotten what feeling “sexy” even felt like. But I can tell you today that nothing sets your soul on fire like feeling better than good in your own skin.

The thing is usually getting weighed, getting fitted for a bridesmaid dress and ordering clothes are all things that stress me out because they all make me painfully aware of how heavy I am but something switched in me that morning and I’ve been in this intoxicatingly high mood since. I’m happy.

I spent the entire weekend waiting for the feeling to dissipate but I just kept feeling better and better in my own skin. What I’m sure is my standard resting bitch face has been replaced with resting big dumb grin and I can’t do a thing about it. This is weird for me.

See the last time I felt “sexy” in my own skin was when I was smack dab in the middle of eating disorders. Back then, my sexy meter was skewed and it was more of a control high. I felt sexy because I was satisfying some weird need to punish myself and when I stayed within the parameters of what I’d set for myself, I rewarded myself by giving myself permission to feel attractive but it was nothing compared to this natural state of happiness that I am experiencing right now. I do realize that this all sounds weird.

Anyways, as I was sitting at my laptop, checking the size chart for the Lilly Pulitzer and realizing that I did not need plus size anything, it hit me that I could not feel my stomach on my lap. God, I’m embarrassed to even type those words but it’s a big deal. The whole stomach thing, and believe me if you have this situation going on you totally understand, has been making me feel so depressed. It was the physical representation of the beginning of the end for me. Every time I sat down, I was reminded of just how fat and out of shape I was.

After I cleared the tears from my eyes because my “FUPA” is slowly vanishing, I ordered myself the regular sized XL jumpsuit from Lilly Pulitzer and I can’t wait to wear it. I’m sick of letting my weight dictate what I can and can’t do. I want to hold on to this strange and unfamiliar feeling of being comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want it to end.

I know 9 pounds is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, ordering an XL rather than 1X is not a big deal and not feeling my stomach in my lap are all very subtle changes but they add up. They add up to changing my life in a very positive way and that is huge.

What little changes do you want to make to your life to make you happier?

Show of hands, who else will be rocking the Lilly Pulitzer this season?

P.S. My first byline at LatinaMom.me is live and I would love if you would check out my article Why I Shaved my 7-Year-Old’s Arms.

2015/04/20 7 comments

Walgreens, healthy choices, Balance rewards

Blogging Health

The Effects of Blogging on Women’s Health

by Deborah Cruz 2014/06/09

written by Deborah Cruz

I am a member of the Collective Bias ® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for #CollectiveBias and its advertiser.

Women’s Health has suddenly become top priority in my life. Recently, I’ve been focusing more on creating my own healthy habits. Maybe it’s my age or just the fact that the older my daughters get, the more time I have to actually focus on my own health and mortality; you know, now that I have a free moment to pee alone now and again.

Did you ever consider that what you do for a profession could affect your health? I mean, we know that if you are a stunt man or a cop, your life is generally at higher risk than the general population. Of course, I never considered that being a blogger/writer/ sitting at my desk all day could be detrimental to my health. We all laugh at “blogger butt” and joke about sitting around in our pajamas all day but did you ever really consider that blogging could be bad for your health? Me, neither. But when it comes down to it, bloggers can suffer from issues with our vision from staring at a screen all day. One option is to look into great glasses from https://www.eyeglasses.com/. It can also result in issues such as repetitive strain injury.

Blogging has made me happy. I love what I do. I love freelancing. I love social media. I love letting my girls see me pursue my dreams and get to do something that I am passionate about. It’s important to me to be a good example for my girls. In fact, as a mom of girls, being a good example is probably the most important thing to me that and just being around to see them grow from my babies into women.

So imagine my frustration when I went to the doctor and aside from gaining weight, which I can obviously see, my sugar and cholesterol levels were both elevated but normal. All that I heard was blahblahblah HIGH blahblahblah AT RISK blahblahblah.

My brain went directly to all the things I would miss if I were to suddenly die (yes, I am one of those people); first dates, driving, graduation, college, falling in love, growing up, getting married, getting pregnant, becoming a mom, repeat. Then I thought of all the smaller things like taking care of them when they are sick, holding them when they experience the first crushing blows of falling in and then out of love, the fear and excitement in the big moments, giving the gentle nudges forward when they need to be pushed in the right direction or even just being there to listen when they needed undivided attention and a mother’s unconditional love. I need to be an advocate for not only my health but for #herhealth, as well; both of them. In that moment, I knew exactly what I needed to do. My path had never been so clear. I made all of the doctors’ appointments and I made a plan. I need a plan. I can accomplish almost anything with a plan in hand.

My first stop was the corner Walgreens to buy myself a bottle of Vitafusion Women’s Daily Multivitamin, Gummies. These have been my favorite vitamins as an adult. They are small and easy to swallow because you chew them and they don’t have that bitter mineral after taste that many adult multivitamins have. I like them so much that I started buying Vitafusion multivitamins for the entire family.

Next, I started paying attention to what my FitBit was telling me. The first thing that I noticed is that without consciously making an effort to move, a blogger can exist on only taking 337 steps in a day; my goal is 10,000. No wonder why “blogger butt” is a thing. Now, I am getting between 6500 and 12,000 steps a day just by spending an hour every morning taking a walk or bike ride with my daughters. I can feel the difference. I can do better but at least I am off in the right direction.

I’ve eliminated pop from the menu and replaced it with iced water and switched out my daily coffee for unsweetened green tea. I love coffee but I was using so much creamer that it made each coffee have about 250 calories and the caffeine itself was contributing to my terrible insomnia. Now, coffee is a treat that I look forward to once a week (early on Saturday morning) and sleeping without the help of some kind of pill is a wonderful new bonus in my life.

I linked my FitBit to My Fitness Pal app and started logging everything I eat. You have no idea what you consume until you log it. You might think, “I don’t eat that much or that badly!” Believe me, you probably do. Some days, I found that I didn’t get enough calories and other days, I was going over by about 1000. My Fitness Pal also lets me stay aware of the sugar and cholesterol in everything I eat. In the past month, I have lost 12 pounds. I’ve also committed myself to seeing my doctor once a month to check in on my progress and keep me accountable. These are all baby steps to make sure that I am around for the big and little moments of my life to come.

What do you do to maintain or improve your Women’s health so that you are around for the big and little moments?

2014/06/09 4 comments

Health

The Hidden Dangers of Juicing

by Deborah Cruz 2014/03/24

written by Deborah Cruz

Do you know the hidden dangers of juicing? A couple weeks ago, I watched the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and obviously, related a little too much. I immediately wanted to start juicing as a way to incorporate more fruits and veggies into our everyday diet. The fact that I have read that juicing helps with everything from losing weight to curing cancer made it even that more lucrative.

But I never considered that there could be hidden dangers of juicing.

Juicing is healthy, or so I thought. I’ve known for some time that our diets have began to see a deficit in fresh fruit and vegetables and I want to change that. So, I told my husband that I wanted a juicer for Mother’s Day…but I wanted it now. Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today? Carpe Diem and all that shit.

I must have had that crazy look in my eyes because he agreed and within a few days, my brand spanking new Breville juicer arrived. I was very eager to get started so I downloaded the Joe Juice Diet book ( by the guy who did the Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead documentary) and got started. This is exactly why I am not allowed to watch infomercials. See The Enya incident of 1997, the Zumba incident of 2007, the Meaningful Beauty incident of 2006 and the Insanity & T25 incidents of 2012 and 2013. I am the optimistic insomniac who is easily sold anything in her delirious state. Anyways, I digress.

I got my Breville juicer and decided on a 3-day juice. I served all my juice over ice because I need juice to be cold but you can drink it room temperature if you prefer.

Here is what my juicing experience looked like:

Day 1-3

Breakfast:

Hot water with lemon ( instead of coffee & to jumpstart your metabolism)

Bye-Bye Blue Juice ( ½ cup blueberries, 1 cucumber, 1 lime, 1 pear. Makes 1 serving.)

Snack:

Water/ Coconut Water

Lunch:

Joe’s Mean Green Juice (16 Kale leaves, 2 cucumbers, 8 celery stalks, 4 apples, 1 lemon and a 2-inch piece of fresh ginger. Makes 2 servings.)

Afternoon snack:

Green Citrus ( 4 apples, 4 oranges and 12 handfuls of leafy greens. I use Kale. Makes 2 servings.)

Dinner:

Joe’s Mean Green

Dessert:

Peach Delight (1 sweet potato, 2 ripe peaches, 1 apple, 1 1/3 cup of blueberries and a dash of cinnamon.)

Now, while I liked all of the juices with the exception of the Mean Green which I just haven’t gotten the recipe to taste yet. I think it needs less cucumber. Cucumber is so overpowering and I love it but it’s just been a tad too much for me. Full Disclosure: by the end of day two, I was so famished that I would have eaten my own arm off. I ended up eating an actual salad with grilled chicken. Juicing is hard. I did lose 3 pounds in 3 days and I had a lot of energy.

Bedtime:

Herbal Tea

My experience showed e the hidden dangers of juicing.

I loved the drinks but two things happened to me that I wasn’t anticipating and they scared me a little bit.

1) I had a lot of energy. Like too much. I was talking a lot ( more than usual and if you know me you know that is A LOT!) and apparently, I was very loud and fidgety. Now, this may not be alarming to any of you but for me a person who flirts with mania, well, it felt a little too close to home for me. So, if you are prone to bouts of mania or hypomania, maybe juicing is not for you unless you are trying to induce an episode in which case, call your doctor right now!

2) As a person 16 years in recovery from eating disorders, juicing felt a lot like a gateway drug to restricting. I felt a switch flip and I have been obsessing over everything I put into my mouth ever since which, yes, I did need to be more aware of but didn’t necessarily want to be hyperaware and experience the guilt that I associate with carbs so this has me a little worried. I find it alarming that simply by following a regimented diet for 3 days; I can feel those old tendencies pulling at me so strongly. The good news is that I am completely aware of it and have added whole foods back into my diet but the refined sugars and flours are just not worth it to me at this point. I’m not sure I would recommend juicing for anyone who has had issues with restricting in the past, it could be a trigger.

My plan is to continue juicing for breakfast and for my afternoon and evening snack and to eat healthy meals for lunch and dinner. So my takeaway is that I do love juicing. I love the energy and knowing that I am adding a lot of great fruits and veggies back into our diet and that is good for all us but I could never live on just juice of an extended amount of time. And if you’re interested in learning more about juicing, you can visit https://juiceguru.com.

Also, I don’t drink a lot of alcohol or coffee on a regular basis so I never experienced the usual withdrawals so I can’t tell you how bad those might be. I can say that my morning Bye-Bye Blues juice blend gave me a lot more energy than a cup of coffee ever has.

Tips:

Don’t overdue the kale because it can be bad for you

Remove peels from citrus

A little lemon/lime go a LONG way

Cucumber is powerful

Remove the pits from peaches

Remove seeds from your apples ( cyanide). I forgot.

Use organic ingredients if you are juicing the skin

Too much fruits equal too much sugar.

Do you juice? Please share your favorite juicing or smoothie recipes?

Have you discovered any hidden dangers to juicing?

2014/03/24 7 comments

Caroline Berg Eriksen, weight loss, mommy wars, sisterhood

Confessions Health

Women, Stop Hating on One Another

by Deborah Cruz 2013/12/03

written by Deborah Cruz

So it happened. You know that moment when something just clicks? Well, yesterday something just clicked. I decided to just do it. I am doing it. This morning was the first day.

I’ve been seeing this photo floating around FB of Caroline Berg Eriksen, the Norwegian soccer wife and fitness blogger, in her undies and bra looking like a svelte supermodel four days after giving birth. People are annoyed by her and asking why she would do something like this. People are pissed off. How dare she look that good 4 days after giving birth! It has to be a fake.

Well, not me. I say, Go GIRL! Hell, I don’t know how she did it. I am assuming that she was in pretty damn good shape before giving birth, being a fitness blogger and all and maybe she just has those good genes. We don’t know her story or her struggles. We just saw a picture and got pissed because life isn’t fair. I won’t lie, I’m a little jealous. She’s got my “after” body. You know the body I “hope” to have after getting in losing weight and getting into shape.

My sister-in-law had 4 kids and after every birth, she looked svelte. Of course, she was an athlete and I was not. Both times, I left the hospital at my pre-pregnancy weight, wearing my regular pants, with a muffin top and the best thing that ever happened to me bundled in my arms. As far as I am concerned, I was the luckiest girl in the world. I wish we didn’t all define ourselves by the size of our asses and that we didn’t always compare the size of our asses to everyone else’s asses, but we do.

All summer, I was very diligent about working out. I was walking/jogging 5 days a week and watching and logging every single morsel of food that went into my mouth. It was becoming a habit; a healthy way of living. For someone who has obsessed over her weight for most of her life and then tried to cheat her way to skinny, a shift in my way of thinking and habits was almost a miracle. I was embracing it. I felt proud of myself. Hell, I even felt a little sexy which is something I never feel. My clothes were fitting better and life just seemed brighter. If you’ve ever battled with body image, you know that this was not vanity; this was security.

I felt good about myself and that was something foreign to me but it felt good. Then I went to BlogHer and I fell off the wagon. I was eating whatever I wanted, drinking alcohol to be social and snacking on tiny cheeseburgers at all hours of the night. I just wanted to be normal; enjoy my time with my friends and not worry about food. Fucking food is the bane of my existence but I didn’t just fall off the wagon, I went charging off the wagon head first.

I had every intention of getting back on the wagon when I got back home but I never did. I tried but here I am 5 months later confessing that I gained all the weight back. I am disappointed with myself but instead of doing something about it, I just fed my shame with more carbs and it made matters worse. Since Halloween, all bets have been off. My eating habits have been like a runaway train chocked full of poor choices and absolutely NO.EXERCISE! Every day is a perpetual walk of shame. If you’ve ever been heavy or unsatisfied with the skin you live in, you know what I am talking about.

This is a mighty slippery slope for the girl in recovery from Eating Disorders. I’ve caught myself lately thinking; maybe I should just throw that up. Mostly, I don’t but in all honesty, a couple times I have; silently and quietly and then I find myself thinking, I can do this. But I don’t want to and I don’t let myself but right there in my brain, I know the cheater’s solution. I know how to gain control of this runaway train (or maybe just trade it in for a better looking model). I have little girls and my selfish days are long over, I can’t be that horrible example for them. I need to be better than that, in spite of myself. I need to be strong. I need to be healthy.

I’ve had some very inspirational women present in my life lately; my sister with hard work, exercise and a change in eating habits has changed her life. My friend Erin is bravely facing her challenges in life and getting stronger every day. It’s not easy but she is worth fighting for, finally she knows that. My friend Jenni is one of the strongest women I know and she never gives up. She dusts her self off, does what needs to be done and kicks another day’s ass. My friend Niki always keeps going, even when she is too tired and weary to take another step. She stays positive and never loses sight of what’s important. My friends Amy & Jennifer, they are busting their asses and you can see the changes in their bodies, minds and in their spirits. They are happy and determined. All of these women are changing their lives by making the decision to face the hard choices and to take control when the whole damn thing is out of control. They inspire me. I am happy for them. I support them for being their best even at life’s worst an for persevering even when life’s challenges seem insurmountable. I want to do the same.

I don’t need to knock anyone else down in order for me to stand tall. Who cares if Caroline Berg Eriksen looks unnaturally perfect after giving birth, we don’t know how she’s come to where she is in life and we don’t know her struggles and challenges. Truly, I’ve got plenty to worry about in my own house, like my own weight and making sure I am being a good example to my girls, I don’t have the time or energy to be hating on a new mom who looks fantastic. I’m happy for her because I wouldn’t wish unhappiness with your body on anyone.

I am doing it. Today, I made the decision to stop listening to the self defeating voices in my head and know in my heart that I can do this…the right way. Thank you for the inspiration ladies.

2013/12/03 2 comments

REVOLUTION, word of the year, year of the word, resolution

Mom Life

I’m Starting a Revolution

by Deborah Cruz 2012/09/28

written by Deborah Cruz

There was no revolution. I turned 40 a couple of days ago, you may have heard. Oddly enough, it passed quietly with dignity and grace. There was no bucking and raging against the night like there was for my 30th or even my 38th. I did not feel overwhelmed with failure or the need to fight my evolution tooth and nail. I was enveloped in peace and all consuming contentment. Sounds strange, right? I’ve never felt this way before, except for the first few minutes immediately after my children were born and on the day I got married. I’m assuming it’s the calm before the storm of life changing events.

I am Resolving to incite a revolution

I am way past the point of making resolutions. After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most. Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!

No MORE Cheating! You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.

Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!

Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity. I may even take a day or two off of social media and just put my feet up and take it all in.

Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and our girls know how very much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?” My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core.

Revolution: A Commitment to Change

Prioritize, Perspective, and Present. The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my disposal because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.

Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like Kool-aid at a Jonestown party. No more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.

Incite a Revolution. I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.

How do you treat yourself well? Do you treat your body well? Your soul? Your mind? You are worth the revolution.

The Revolution Starts Today

**I am hosting a Twitter party this Sunday night September 30th for #Previlean at 9 pm EST/ 6 PST. I hope you can make it. Just follow @TruthfulMommy @PreviMedica and @JessicaGottlieb to join in the conversation. Please leave your Twitter handle in the comments so that we can follow you back! I’d love to find out what you do to treat yourself right? How will you start your revolution?

****Part of this post was originally posted here.

2012/09/28 3 comments

Confessions

Life Changes

by Deborah Cruz 2012/04/09

written by Deborah Cruz

Life Changes~What do I want to say? It feels like I’ve been missing from here a lot lately. I miss my home. This blog is my home. I miss my people. I miss the interaction and the back and forth. Lots has been going on behind the scenes lately. As many of you know, I have started writing at a few different places around the internet; Smart Mom Style, Aiming Low, Modern Home Modern Baby and the Stir. I am truly blessed, even if unexpectedly so.

Changes Come Unexpectedly

There are lots of other changes going on too here at our home. We’ll be moving this summer and our house has still not sold and that is weighing heavily on my mind and my heart. I’ve been doing a lot of praying for patience and understanding. The girls are growing up fast. I blinked and now our life is about Spring Breaks and ballet recitals. It used to be all about time together and having fun and now it’s all turning to obligation. I feel out of my depth on many levels and yet there is still more changes going on.Things that I can’t even think about with too much thought or my head may explode from all of the overwhelming possibilities.

This is where I have been lately. Then there was spring break. I so welcomed and looked forward to it. It started off amazing with a trip to Castaway Bay indoor water park. The girls adored it. The Big Guy and I had a blast just watching them run around from activity to activity, screaming and squealing all the way. Finally, a place they could run, jump and scream and it was perfectly acceptable, if not expected. We spent our days dripping water and surrounded by laughter and love. The Big Guy and I soaking in every single moment of togetherness with the girls. They will never be this age again. There will never be another first trip to the water park. Each night we collapsed into bed, snuggled together excitedly recounting the thrill of the day. Lots of sweet memories were made at Castaway Bay, not the least of which was my Mommy alone time spent in the spa with my pedicurist Laura Williams. Not only was there peace and quiet and an amazing pedicure to be had, Laura had a vibrant personality and a pleasing demeanor. She made the pedicure an experience. Then we returned home.

Changes in plan

The next day, we spent with Grandma having lunch at our favorite spot and watching ,Mirror, Mirror; a special treat for the girls. We were relishing every single moment together, just as I had planned and then I got sick! Not just a little case of the sniffles, this is a knock down, drag out, can’t lift your head kind of illness. It was like the devil spawn of the worst head cold you’ve ever had the misfortune of catching and the flu on crack. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling like I had been run over by a mack truck. I stayed there, in bed, trying not to die the entire day. The week pretty much plateaued at that point.

I’m slowly recovering from the illness, the girls are on their last day of spring break and I am still overwhelmed with a lot of choices that I need to make soon. How do you embrace the changes in your life?

Changes whether good or bad can be overwhelming

Photo

**Disclaimer I was given access to Castaway Bay indoor water park and their resort for review purposes but all opinions expressed are my own. All life changes are my own.

2012/04/09 5 comments

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