Ever wonder how Bree Van de Kamp ruined motherhood? She was a fictional character on Desperate Housewives but there are women out there who strive to be her. Everyone knows that trying to base your life off of an imagined character will only leave you falling short and disappointed. Isn’t being a mom hard enough all on its own?
Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a huge advocate of sisterhood. I think that cat fights between women are ridiculous and that if we all spent a lot more time being real and supporting each other, life would be so much better for all of us. Why does motherhood and being a domestic goddess always have to be a competition? Can’t some of us be do-our-best mommies and domestic good-enoughers and that be it? Can’t we all just get along?
“My kid does this, does yours? My husband makes this much money, what does yours make? My house is bigger than yours. It truly is a pissing contest for women! I can keep the house immaculate, my kids listen to everything I say, sleep in their own beds, go to bed at a reasonable hour with no drama, they are reading at a 5th grade level @ the age of four, I eat but can not gain weight, my husband just keeps getting better looking, and my kids are absolute perfection, did I mention they eat absolutely everything I put in front of them. The laundry seems to do itself, I love to cook gourmet meals for every meal, I am completely organic, I made all the baby food and my babies only wore cloth diapers and drank organic, non tainted by caffeine or alcohol breasts milk. P.S. My shit doesn’t stink! I live in a mansion on the corner of bliss and perfection…or was that delusional and insanity? And you?” Yes, in my head competitive/ judgy moms speak in long, drawn out run on sentences. Take a breath already.
OK, Bree friggin Van de Kamp…you are not real, you are some convoluted conjuring of what some crazy tv exec thought real life is…not even in the 1950’s, my brother sister. If we’d stop trying to make the other moms think we have it all under control without even breaking a sweat, maybe, just maybe we’d have some back up in the trenches instead of one more enemy trying to kill our spirits and crush our souls.
As if that is not bad enough, that we are all running around lying to each other about how perfect and easy our lives are, we are inadvertently (or maybe purposefully) making other women (Mommies, specifically) feel like they are losers because they don’t think life is easy or perfect and neither are their kids and their husband. I mean, myself, I’ve actually winced at the prospect of having to go to the grocery store, been brought to tears trying to figure out what the hell to wear out in public to drop my kids off at some class or other, the dishes make me want to kill someone (actually just myself..I truly hate dishes! I am not above existing on paper products!), my girls still miraculously end up in our bed in the middle of the night, I have actually been reduced to feeding them cereal for dinner (only once..I promise)….though, I must confess, my kids are pretty perfect….to me! All kids are perfect to their parents! My point is my fellow desperate housewives, we would not all be so damn desperate if we could all just get along.
Next time you feel overcome with the need to blow crazy smoke up your own ass, in a coffee-induced fog of meanness, please remember the Mommy that you are making feel 2-inches tall would probably serve you better as a cheerleader than as a doormat. Stop spending your cocktail playdates talking about the new mom having a rough time disciplining her toddler; you used to be her.
PSA: Please be kind to your fellow mommies. She is not your enemy, she is your sister, your friend, your confidant, your tether to sanity.
I am bringing this post from the archives to remind us all that we need to support one another and grow a sisterhood through motherhood, not hurt one another by judging and pointing fingers.Moms could be the strongest group out there if we could only love and support one another. We are Mommies, hear us roar.