Welcome to Throat Punch Thursday my friends. Well, this weeks choice was fairly easy being all the bullshit that surrounds this hot mess. YOU know what I’m referring to, come on. What would make you madder than running out of diapers in the middle of the night? Finding beetle larva in your baby’s Similac, you say? What would make you even madder than finding out live on The Bachelor that you were NOT the one he chose, after you were led to believe that you were ?( sorry, its late I couldn’t think of any other analogy)How would you feel about trying to contact Similac to see if your formula lot number was recalled and not being able to ever access a human being? Just one more reason for la Leche League to yammer on about the breast being best. There is usually not a whole lot of bug contamination in your Momma’s boobies. I tried the whole boobie thing, it worked for about 6 weeks, I never made enough milk and I had to supplement the entire time with….SIMILAC!
I would be irate if I had a newborn and found out that they could possibly be ingesting bug parts. Imagine it being your first newborn and learning this. OMG,it would have sent me into a stark raving fit of lunacy. Seriously, they wouldn’t have had to worried about my calls. I would have had my crazy ass in the car. Oh yeah, I’d have no problem finding out where they were located or how to get there..I’m computer savvy and internet learned.
On Wednesday, Abbott Laboratories issued a recall of about 5 million cans of certain Similac-brand powdered infant formula, due to the possible presence of beetle larva. Did you read that..5 MILLION cans!
If ingested, the FDA said that this type of beetle could cause discomfort and irritate the gastrointestinal tract, making infants lose their appetite. Well, no shit! Umm, my second child was colicky from dairy formula..can you imagine if had beetle larva in it what it would do to a colicky kid? That’s reason enough to take their heads of with a Throat punch. This may be more serious than a Throat punch, maybe a full on decapitation? The more I recall the days of walking in the middle of the night with no sleep due to colic, I say yes..beheading may be the way to go. Lets make that throat punch count!
Following the recall, Abbott (ABT, Fortune 500) established a 24/7 phone hotline and directed consumers to a website for more information, including the product lot numbers affected by the recall. Repeated attempts to access both services by CNNMoney have been mostly unsuccessful. No shit, what are they going to do answer the phone,get screamed at and say, “Hi, Similac speaking. Sorry about the bugs we fed to your perfect little newborn. Hope he does’t turn into the fly.OOPS! Gotta go!”
My Throat Punch is most certainly going to Abbot Industries for not only their beetle larva ( SKEEVE) but even more so because they are not available to give these parents some damn counsel. So they are the lovely recipients of not 1 but 2 Throat Punches, 1 for the bugs and 1 for the awful customer service. Now come here so I can feed you a nice warm glass of beetle parts.
Here’s the number if you need more information..You can call it but they probably won’t answer. My suggestion, if you have Similac lying around, just throw it out!EWWWW
For information on the recall, Abbott said that parents and caregivers can go to www.similac.com/recall10 or call Abbott’s consumer hotline, (800) 986-8850, for more information.