Nine Glorious Days

It’s been a glorious nine days but, as all good things, the Big Guy had to return to our regularly scheduled life; him living some place else, me left behind to tend to our life here. When he is gone, all week long,  I have become accustomed to it. Neither of us like it, but both of us accept it. It is our status quo.But nine fabulous days ago, on a Friday in November, the Big Guy came home and surprised me with the news that he would be lingering at home with us for nine glorious days. This was certainly good great news.

You don’t feel the full effect of how much you actually miss someone, until you allow yourself to admit it to …yourself. That’s what I did. That’s where I’ve been, soaking in every single, last moment that we were gifted with together these last few days. Seeing my girls happy and smiling in the security of knowing that when they awoke the following day, Daddy would be there to hug and kiss them, to drive Bella to school, to hold Gabi’s hand as they walked back to the car, to look across the table at lunch time and see his robust smile and hear his hearty laugh at the most inappropriate times. That is the good stuff. Those are the moments that we all take for granted. To have my husband there to help put the girls to bed, to cuddle and spoon with on the couch while watching really bad television, to linger in one another’s arms in the morning as the girls happily scurried from room to room singing some made up song to wake us up on a Saturday morning.To be able to cook together, to enjoy one another’s company, to watch him sit with our girls in the dark media room and hold them close as they watch Christmas movies together, to see all three of them bask in the happiness that only daddy/daughter time together can bring.To know that tomorrow would come and he would be able to remain. To be peaceful without the impending doom of departure looming over head is a luxury that we took granted for so long but not now. Now, every single moment together is a gift.

The nine days were amazing for us, to most, they would be considered ordinary. For our family, they were extraordinary. We have not had nine consecutive days together in the same residence since this past February. It has been hard, on all of us. I never realized that just his physical presence makes such a difference to all of us.It brings us comfort, security, and love.He is our touchstone. He is my rock. He is their Daddy, which is the most important person in a little girl’s life.

I never considered before that a husband who works long hours and is only seen for a few minutes in the morning as he kisses you goodbye or a couple hours at night before you go to sleep could have such an impact. In the past, I may have felt like I was doing everything and perhaps sometimes he could have helped me out a little more but at the end of the day, he was there. If I needed someone to run an errand, or I was sick and needed to linger in bed for a few extra minutes, or one of the kids needed wiping, or I needed someone to pick up dinner, take out the trash, listen at the end of the day, a warm body to cuddle up to and recharge from an energy zapping day…he was always there. Before, I may have felt like I did everything but now I actually am, and there is a BIG difference.

Tonight, our nine day dream had to end and, as I sit here typing, we are back to the cold reality that Friday can’t come fast enough. The girls were teary eyed and slightly irrational, as were he and I.We had become so drunk on all the time together that the hangover will surely feel like the end of the world, at least for the next couple of days. If you are lucky enough to have the ones you love with you,  give them an extra cuddle and kiss, you never know when that may not be the case. What is the hardest part for you when your Big Guy travels?How do your children react? How do you handle the anxiety that separation brings?

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Comments (17)

Oh I'm so happy you had this time together… and sad that it has to end for a while. Thank you for the lovely reminder to not take Hot Nerd for granted. He works full time, and is getting his masters full time at night. But he is there when I roll over in the morning… and that's nice.
* I love the way you write.

The time together must have been glorious!
I can only pretend to imagine what it's like to not have him there every waking day. You are so strong, and your girls are also! I hope Friday gets here as fast as can be.

I don't know how you do it.

I know for the 51 days that Joshua was in the hospital and I was there with him, 2 hours away, Shane at home with the kids and working a full time job, we got a little glimpse into your world. It was awful saying good bye. Talking on the phone just didn't seem to be enough some days.

I'm so glad you had this time together. It's good for a mama's soul!

Much love!

GIrly- beautifully written, you made me remember just now how sweet it is to have my Captain home. He has been gone now for 4 months and we are anxiously awaiting his return in 2 weeks. Most times he is gone for 2 months and home a month but this time we wanted him home for Christmas (it's only been 13 years!) The best part about having them gone is the silence after the kids go to bed and the best time is spending all the time in the world with them when they are home- completely undistracted and completely devoted.

Worst times- yea…I could talk about those, but I don't want to screw up your mojo you got goin on here 😉

Hugs to an independent sista!

This is a beautiful piece. Your appreciation for and awareness of what you and your husband have (even if that awareness is magnified by his forced absences) is a special thing. My wife doesn't travel, but does work ~15 hr days often and I wonder if they are harder on me or our daughters. All three of us miss her presence terribly during those very long days, but I think my adult mind's ability to think rationally about it may make it even harder. Our girls can be so consumed by so many things, but I feel like her absence is always with me. Regardless, I feel incredibly fortunate to even feel that way about someone. It must be very difficult to have to go for a week at a time. Again, beautiful piece and thanks for sharing.

@ MItchell,
It is hard. I do agree with you, we are very fortunate to have some one to feel that way about. I joke with the Big Guy all the time and tell him this situation would be much easier were I not so damn in love with him:)Thanks for your kind words!

@MOmmy NaniBooBoo,
Yes, do not take hot nerd for granted. Sometimes being able to roll over and see his face is enough to give you the strength to continue on.But i know it is hard to have him work and go to school, you probably feel left alone all the time. That is exactly how I felt..until I was actually left alone, not until then, did I appreciate the difference.Give the hot nerd of yours some love!Thanks for your very sweet words!You've made my day!

@ Day2 Day,
It was in deed glorious and I am so grateful for it. I am so looking forward to the summer when we can all be together…every day! I want that so much for my girls!They deserve to be happy every day, not sad.I too look forward to Fridays as if they were Christmas morning!Thanks for the encouragement

@ The Real life of a red head,
Thanks for the love! Your understanding gives me strength. I'm sure you know what a comfort that can be.
You are so strong, you inspire me daily.

Big Hugs!

I'm so glad you got have 9 days with hubby! I could relate to everything you wrote about and my hubs doesn't work away. Still, I look forward to Fridays because I know he'll be home with me for 2 full days. The girls love it too. You are a strong woman for doing it one your own Mon-Friday! It's hard work.

I loved this piece you did. I could really feel the love and devotion you have with your husband. *Hugs* to you.

I love this post. We really do take so many things for granted that we consider "normal". Hurry Friday!!!

Big fat sad faces for you. And big hugs.

What a heartfelt post… thank you for sharing this…

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Sofia's Ideas

I really feel for you! You may have to give ME tips soon. My husband travels often, and may actually take a job in another state and commute temporarily while we relocate. I rely so much on my network of mommy friends – we don't have any family close by – that I'm not quite sure what we'll do if we move to a different state… The first thing on my list will be trolling for friends in the local park/coffee shop/playspace!!
xoxop

@Marlowe,
Thank you! I am so happy for you that your husband will be home in 2 weeks! I don;t know how you have one it for so long.It is really hard, especially trying to rationalize the whole thing with the girls. I agree I love the time together, the completely undistracted and completely devoted time alone.Tis a truly beautiful thing.

Hugs back, my friend!

@Bruna,
Fridays are like Christmas, I tell you!Thank you for your kind words and your cyber hugs!My readers, my friends, you all really do lift me up when I am feeling down. It is so nice to be in contact with such a wonderful group of women!

*Hugs* to you as well.

@ Peryl,
Well, though I am hoping that you wont be separated from your husband…I will certainly give you pointers if you need them.I have a feeling you could make friends anywhere.You are awesome! I'll be your Mommy friend if you end up anywhere in the midwest!
xoxo

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