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max begley, autism, autistic teen, hate letter, Ontario

Letter to Parents of Autistic Teen, Max Begley: “You have a Retarded Kid, deal with it!” Not a Hate Crime

by Deborah Cruz

max begley,autistic teen


WTF is wrong with people? I have seen some pretty crazy shit in my lifetime but nothing compares to the disturbing letter written by an anonymous Newcastle, Ontario neighbor calling herself, “One Pissed Off Mother” urging the parents of a 13-year-old autistic teen, Max Begley, to “…take whatever non-retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science…” Going so far as to write the words,

Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!!

If you read the above letter and your jaw did not hit the ground, I’m not sure that we can be friends. When I read this letter for the first time, first I was in shock, then my heart was broken that someone would say something like this about another human being, never mind a special needs child and lastly, I was pissed off and that is where I am this morning.Hey, anonymous asshole, you are not the only pissed off mother today. I’m pissed off too. Pissed off that animals like you are not kept in cages. Let’s be clear, Max Begley has a disability that he was born with. He has no control over it. YOU.CHOSE.TO.BE.AN.ASSHOLE!!!!!!

The even crazier part is that police won’t be able to pursue hate crime charges for the anonymous letter.

“Despite the hateful language used … the content of the letter falls below the threshold for a hate crime,” police said in a statement Tuesday.


Police are asking anyone with information regarding the case should call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477 (TIPS and they are still moving ahead with a criminal investigation. This cannot be swept under the rug. These actions were too heinous and reprehensible.

If that is not dripping with hatred, I don’t know what is. This letter is the epitome of hatred.The one good thing to come out of this whole awful ordeal is that the community is rallying around Max and supporting his family. Tolerance and kindness are filling the space where hatred once was.

We all have bad days. Maybe this one pissed off cretin was having a bad day. Maybe her “normal” kids were being monsters and she was trying to get everything around for back-to-school, maybe her husband’s a drunk who beats her, maybe her daddy didn’t love her, maybe she can’t find a job, maybe she’s not slept in 9 years and she’s about to lose her house and maybe she took all her frustration with the world and her life and put it into this letter, viciously attacking and wishing death on a child. Maybe she needs mental help? Even taking all of these conditions into consideration, that is NO excuse to call a child names and tell his parents to do the world a favor and euthanize their son.

As a mother, I am appalled that any other mother would not only lack the compassion it takes to write such a disgusting letter but be so callous in her disregard for this child’s life and for the struggles of his parents. Let me be clear, this “one pissed off mother” is a C You Next Thursday in the worst way and I kinda hope her identity is revealed and the neighbors ostracize her ass right out of the neighborhood. This woman should have her children taken away and her uterus removed because she does not deserve to have children, be around children or humans; big or small.

I am still in shock that any “mother” would ever think such things, never mind, write them down and send them to someone.Why would she think that these parents of Max Begley should take their child and move to a trailer in the woods? Just because he was born with a disability, does that make him less deserving of medical attention and love and life? He has done nothing to deserve this hatred from her other than being vocal in his neighborhood.

This is everything that is wrong with this world. So called “normal” people wanting to lock those of us who are different away in a tower, an institution, a trailer in the woods or a deserted island hidden from the world like some kind of monsters. Just because you don’t see us doesn’t mean that we don’t exist. Just because you ignore us doesn’t mean that we don’t feel and your cruelty cuts deep. You, one pissed of mother, you are the monster!

Anyone who can write the below line has their own set of problems beyond a autistic teen being a vocal “nuisance.”

I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!!!

They do not want special treatment. That is the entire point. They want to be treated like any other family. They want to live in a neighborhood and be a family. It is monsters like one pissed off mother who make this impossible by being cruel, unkind and lacking of human compassion and understanding.

What do you think of this One Pissed Off Mother? What would you do if you were Max Begley’s parents?

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Corey Feldman 2013/08/20 - 7:51 pm

Wow, I’m sick to my stomach and it’s not just the broken ribs, 3 aspirin, and codeine I’m on. “Normal” children, like there is any such thing as normal. I hate to go right to Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies on your first onsite comment, but seriously, the first victims of the Nazi attempts at genocide were with the disabled. She totes the Nazi party line

Deborah Cruz 2013/08/21 - 10:55 am

Sadly, this came to my mind too. Where do we stop? what the eff is normal anyways? None of us are truly normal, we are all flawed in our own personal ways.

Adrienne 2013/08/20 - 9:30 pm

I got a blog comment today that says, in part, “Why are parents of disabled children so incredibly self centered and self focused? They want everyone to bend over backwards to accommodate them and their kid.” Obviously that doesn’t even begin to compare to what this family was subjected to, but there is this horrible pervasive attitude among some (thankfully small) segment of the population that thinks we should just deal with our special needs kids without other people having to see or hear them. Too bad for them, our kids are PEOPLE. They need to go places, do things, and live lives. Sometimes they require accommodation. Sometimes they act in ways that others don’t find charming or pleasant. People who can’t deal with that should become hermits and live in the woods. Our special needs kids are infinitely more worthy than any person whose soul is filled with hate.

Deborah Cruz 2013/08/21 - 10:54 am

I don’t understand how people give value to human life on a sliding scale. We are all humans and we all deserve to be afforded the rights of love, compassion and life. As humans we should respect the differences and celebrate life and practice tolerance for that which we don’t understand. I teach my girls that we are all equal because we are human.period. The color of our skin, religion, race, disability, strengths or faults, politics, or lifestyle; we are all humans and we all deserve to be treated as one.
I am sorry that you got such an ignorant comment. That is one of my biggest fears when I make myself vulnerable on my blog that is when I speak my truth, it reveals my flaws and when they are attacked, it hurts.
You are right special kids are infinitely more worthy than any person who is filled with hate and intolerance, especially towards a child. So Sickening.

Adrienne 2013/08/21 - 11:46 am

Exactly. I was thinking about this this morning when I was at the lab waiting for blood draws with my 11 yo son. A woman with severe cerebral palsy or some other movement disorder came into the waiting area and my son was a little startled by her appearance because her face was affected. So you could say that, like the letter writer’s children, my child was afraid of a disabled person. Unlike the letter writer, I saw it as a chance to talk with my son. He has disabilities so he knows what it’s like to be different, so he starts from a more generous place than most, but still, he’s a kid and he has a lot to learn. We talked about differences, and politeness, and how to be kind without pitying others (because pity feels like crap and kindness is always awesome). And now, when he sees people with movement disorders, he will have the information he needs to interact with them without fear. I don’t expect a cookie or a reward for any of that; I consider that basic, decent parenting. It’s part of what you do for your kids and for the world, part of raising good humans.

amy 2013/08/21 - 6:54 am

I can’t believe the police do not consider this a hate crime. It just boggles the mind. This letter is filled with hate, so it’s a hate crime.

Deborah Cruz 2013/08/21 - 10:48 am

I 1000% agree. This is one of the most hateful things that I have ever read in my life.

The TRUTH About Motherhood | Antoinette Tuff Saves Atlanta Children from Gun Weilding Maniac & Excuse My Use of Hyperbole - The TRUTH About Motherhood 2013/08/22 - 12:14 pm

[…] was going to write a Throat Punch Thursday but I already wrote a post on Tuesday about the asshole neighbor who wrote an anonymous letter to the family of an autistic teen suggesting his parents euth… him and you all know that I am not the violent type. I’m a hugger not a mean girl. Every […]

no text 2013/08/23 - 11:51 pm

Very good, i like you.And say and say

AP 2013/08/25 - 8:01 pm


On Dateline NBC a few years ago, they showed a case where
the police were investigating similar notes being received
by a teacher at a school (and the notes were designed
to look as of they were sent by another teacher).

It was later found that the ‘taunted and tortured teacher’
had actually sent the notes to herself as a cry for attention
and public sympathy due to feeling overwhelmed with her
life (and no other ‘teacher’ or ‘outsider’ had sent it to her).

Also, a couple of years ago a man claimed that he began
to receive ‘religious hate mail’ our of nowhere from “an
unknown neighbor” (even though there was no history
of any of the neighbors having harassed, disliked or
shown bigotry or hatred toward his family before) and
within a few weeks his wife ended up “attacked by an
unknown stranger, possibly the “neighbor”, and killed”.

It was later found that he felt his wife was a “burden”
and had composed and sent “the mysterious letters”
himself as a set up and cover for the crime he was
planning in order to “set himself free” from someone
that ‘he’ (not his neighbors) saw as a “burden” in life.

In both cases, entire innocent-communities (even if
it were seen as just ‘one’ phantom-person within that
community) were placed with suspicion and blame for
something that they did not do and would never have
even thought of doing — simply because someone who
felt they wanted to ‘escape’ their own “burdens” in life
were setting up both the communities and the family
member from whom they wanted to be set free.

In addition, there have been story after story of
late of the many parents and caregivers of autistic
children who — feeling overwhelmed with taking
care of a person with severe needs and yet also
wanting to gain public attention, pity, sympathy,
support, and a type of victim and/or hero status
— have plotted for weeks, months and even years
to ‘get free of their burden’ in such as way as to
look both innocent and pitiable (and this is often
done by pointing-the-finger at innocent-strangers).

My point is that — UNTIL the police investigate to see
IF this “mysterious note” is actually LEGITIMATE —
this community should NOT be seen as having
some sort of hate-monger living in it’s midst.

This ‘mysterious note’ seems to have a far “too personal”
touch to it to have been composed by any ‘man’ and / or
even by ‘woman’ who would have been a ‘stranger’ or
a ‘near stranger’ to this family — and, until it is PROVEN
that it IS IN FACT from “someone in the neighborhood”,
it seems unreasonable to assume that the neighbors are
not (possibly) being set-up just so that someone who
may feel overwhelmed with life can literally ‘script’ a
situation in which to garner both pity and attention.

It’s not that I’m not trying to be ‘sympathetic’ toward
the family to whom the memo was directed … it’s just
that … the situation of “setting things up in order to
get public sympathy and attention” has been found
to have occurred so frequently in the past number
of years that — unless someone has a video of
a situation occurring — many times it should be
considered as possibly “one of the usual suspects”.







More than one “pissed off mother” | Brent Blogs 2013/08/25 - 9:24 pm

[…] (Source) […]

The TRUTH About Motherhood | Preschooler Mauled by Pitbull so Let's Euthanize the Babysitter - The TRUTH About Motherhood 2014/03/19 - 12:27 pm

[…] It is a tragedy but I think the dog needs to be euthanized or removed from the area. Unfortunately, we cannot euthanize the truly responsible party in all of this; the terrible babysitter who neglected to keep the child safe in the first place. As a parent, I can understand wanting the responsible party to pay every time you look into the sweet disfigured face of your son. If it were my child, I want the dog euthanized. In this case, responsibility is being deflected to the dog, he’s the scapegoat, but I think we all know who is to blame for this tragedy and she doesn’t have four legs. Lucky for that bitch, we don’t euthanize assholes. […]

Gundisalv Jamison 2016/03/01 - 2:48 pm

SOMEONE had to say it! Look, if we keep denying our RATIONAL hatred of individuals with IQs of 70 or less, our society’s going to collapse! Sit down &, without ANY bias, think hard. Hopefully, you’ll realize that virtually EVERY modern social issue exists because we don’t have UN-mandated euthanasia for these things. Besides, they’re undesirable!!!!!!

Duncan White 2021/12/10 - 11:10 am

This mother is a GODDAMN BITCH! How would SHE feel if She got that letter? I’m betting the bitch would just euthanize the kid if she was Max’s mother. I hate that woman. I feel like she needs to understand that you just can’t ask that of somebody!!! If I ever get my hands on that bastard, she is going to pay. She will pay that family she harassed, and apologize, and never threaten them again. I have autism. This woman has offended me beyond offensive behavior ever has. I cannot understand why someone would say this, but it breaks my heart to read that letter.


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