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Change~I just had a Come To Jesus Meeting..with Jose!

by Deborah Cruz

*Change anyone?* It’s that time of year again. You know what ‘m referring to, no not back-to-school, that was Monday. It’s a little over a month until my birthday and you know that can only mean ONE thing…mental, physical and spiritual inventory must be taken. This is my process so this morning I had my first ( of what will be many, many) come to Jesus meetings over the next year. I had it with Jose. No, it’s not some nickname we Latinos have for the almighty, it’s my little brother who is one ( as I found out the hard way this morning) hardcore, ass kicking personal trainer.Seriously, it’s his profession. I knew that he knew how to take care of himself, obviously. He’s always been in top physical shape since he was old enough to lift his first dumbbell. But we’ve never lived in the same city. Now, we do. This is Jose.

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This is Jose. This is 200 lbs. of badass personal training in a 160 lb. bag of cuteness.I think the photo says it all *Charming*

He who rejects change is the architect of decay~Harold Wilson

Doesn’t he look sweet? That’s what I thought. What you are looking at, my friends, is my salvation ( physically speaking anyways). Two years ago, we moved to a new city. My life hit the reset button. I joined Weight Watchers and lost 25 pounds. Life was good. Then the Big Guy was downsized. Life was not so good.I had to quit the program and since I am very apparently a stress eater, I ate those 25 pounds right back on and with them came a few more. I was depressed about it. Former eating disorder girl say what. It’s really hard trying to stay the straight and narrow when what you are doing is so NOT working. But I do. I fight the urge every day to seek the comfort of the path that I know. I fight to be a good example for my girls. I fight to be the change I want to see in the world for the young girls today. I want to be better than my circumstances.

Then last year, right smack dab in the middle of the whole commuter marriage fiasco, I was offered an amazing opportunity to be a Nutrisystem Nation Blogger. Again, I lost that 20 pounds and felt amazing. But then life started spinning out of control again. Then we had to put the house on the market, we were going to be moving and I was stressed beyond capacity. There was my old friend ( arch nemesis) food to comfort away the uncertainty. That is if comfort means to bury it deep down and surround it by a giant hug of fat. But the only uncertainty it remedied was the uncertainty of whether or not I would gain back those 20 pounds again. Guess what? I did! What can I say those damn 20 pounds llloooovvvveeee me! Me, not so much feeling that love.

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit

That brings us to this morning. We are moved. I am hitting the reset again. Hopefully for the last time for a long time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am happy. I know it. I feel it in my very core ( well, that and a terrible side stitch that I haven’t been able to shake since my brother boot-camp). I have committed myself to the drill Sargent my little brother and made a promise to myself…I will feel comfortable in this skin of mine.Body dysmorphic disorder and Bulimia/Anorexia can all be damned. I’m not having it, ever again. With the  help of my brother, the MOST invested, no nonsense personal trainer that anyone could ever ask for, fueled by a genuine concern and love for his sister, the next year will bring about huge change. I have a goal that I want to hit by my birthday next year and he is going to help me reach my goal. This is one of those moments in life where you are standing at a cliff and you have to decide if you want to take a chance and jump or maintain the status quo. I’m jumping! After this week, I may not be walking but I am jumping.

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We're going to call this the official BEFORE photo. I'll allow you to see me a sweaty mess but sweaty ponytail, no makeup and luggage under my eyes..A girl's got to maintain some tiny dignity:)

This journey is about more than just losing weight. It is about changing my entire lifestyle..forever. It’s no diets or gimmicks, it’s me facing the mirror and taking a good hard look at myself. It’s hard work personal training with my brother and learning to make good, healthy choices with real food. It’s me learning to live in the world. It’s me learning to love my body for all that it is and none of what it’s not. This is me, yelling it from the top of the cliff. I am proclaiming it to the world. It will happen. And this time when the first 25 pounds comes off, I’m giving all the clothes that are too big to the homeless shelter.I will do it every 25 pounds until all I am left with are the clothes that fit who I become.

My change starts right now


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Alex | Perfecting Dad 2011/08/17 - 4:06 pm

I hope it sticks this time. I find that if you have people around you then it’s easier. Just hanging out with fit, active, and health conscious people may help. Good luck!

Truthful Mommy 2011/08/17 - 4:12 pm

Thanks.He worked me a good hour and half today. I think we both mean business.I am sore. Hope I can walk this weekend. I have a conference:)LOLThanks for the support.I’ll keep posting pics so everyone can see the transformation from frumpy to hot:) Even if he works me dead,I’ll keep smiling because I’m determined.

The Mommy Therapy 2011/08/18 - 8:36 am

Wow! Very inspiring.

I can feel your determination and passion for this change and it is infectious. There is something so powerful about deciding you want to make a positive change in yourself and then working your butt off (literally in this case) to make it happen.

I can’t wait to read about the journey.

We’re all here to cheer you on!

Dana K 2011/08/18 - 4:35 pm

Good luck! I need a Jose! I can’t fit into my jeans (that are a size bigger than my last set of jeans). As soon as this damn smoke clears from the swamp fires, my butt is going to start running.

dacruzbe 2011/08/18 - 10:05 pm

Everyone needs a Jose! He has been working me hard but he’s so motivating.I’ve had other personal trainers before but no one who was so encouraging. I may be tired( EXHAUSTED) sweaty , wobbly knee mess when the hour and half are up but I feel elated. I’m lucky to have him.I feel you on the jeans.Ive been wearing shorts all summer.I dread trying to put my ass back in the jeans:)Well,I did

Bruna 2011/08/18 - 5:40 pm

Good luck Debi! I think every Mommy needs a Jose! I’m rooting for you! You can do anything you set your mind on and you’ve got your bloggy friends to support you.


dacruzbe 2011/08/18 - 10:03 pm

Thanks mama! Jose is the tough love I need to get in kick ass shape.It’s always easier when you have support and I am just lucky enough to have a personal trainer for a brother..I have no excuses anymore:)

Marlene 2011/08/26 - 12:37 pm

You will notice a huge difference in motivation! I know because i had this happened to me. A personal trainer will boost your confidence 10 fold.

He simply knows what YOU should do and therefore YOU are convinced that all those bloody hard exerciser are going to be wasted.

Weight Loss ~ One Mommy's Journey to Learning to Love the Skin She's In | The TRUTH About Motherhood 2012/01/01 - 11:59 pm

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