Category:

Marriage and Relationships

car seat, milestones, growing up, leting go, 8

growing up, car seats, milstones, motherhoodThe moments of motherhood that sneak up on you. Last week, my daughter turned 8. Wow, time is flying by at warp speed. Her birthday was on Sunday and it was preceded by complete chaos. There was a slumber party, the family party that concluded with the entire family shooting a Harlem shake video and Sunday, March 10, we celebrated officially; her father, her sister, her and myself. We always celebrate, just the four of us, on actual birthdays.

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same-sex marriage, homosexuality, parenting, love,Rob portman

same-sex marriage, marriage, love, homosexuality, Rob PortmanWould your views on same-sex marriage change if you found out that your child was gay? I woke up this morning and the very first thing that I saw on Twitter was the above photo. It gave me hope and a warm fuzzy feeling. I’ve never understood how a parent could shut their child out or be mad because of who their child was born to love.

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father's day

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valentine's day

If you need me, I’ll be loving on these people today!

Today is Valentine’s Day and it is no surprise to any of you who read this blog that I love the Big Guy and our girls truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally. Just as I am sure all of you do your partner in crime life and your children. But today, on this Valentine’s Day,  I am loving them truly, madly and deeply in real time. Aside from spending my waking moments loving on these people today ( right after the Big Guy and I see our way past this massive blow up we had this morning over who knows what) he and I will be spending the day at the girls valentine’s Day parties and then to our romantic supper for 4 ( because that’s how we roll) and then on to a grown up movie ( no not THAT kind of movie) and maybe some sweet Mommy and Daddy time in the conjugalorium. Oh yeah, the massive blow up….already forgotten.

Anyways, I know you are all busy living on your people in real time too today so I am sure you will understand when I leave you with these awesome testaments to love and marriage. They may make you laugh, they may make you cry and if they don’t suit you, keep looking around, we’ve got love covered ( the good, bad and ugly of it).

I Fucking Love You man.

Older, Wiser, Faster and Deeper

The proposal

Love Letter to my Husband

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby

It’s You they Add Up to

The First Day of My Life

Happy Accidents

And don’t even get me started on how much I love my girls.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Go love on someone.

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black ops 2, call of duty

Black Ops 2 has taken the Big Guy hostage. It’s true Call of Duty has once again stolen my husband. It’s officially November because I am a Black Ops 2 widow.

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black ops 2, call of duty, gamer's wife, game

Killing Zombies, bitches. We just took Walking Dead to a completely new level!

My husband plays Call of Duty online, with my brothers, the brothers-in-law and his brother. They have a clan and kill zombies in their spare-time. Sounds funny when I say it out loud. Sounds like they all might have a problem.

Hi, my name is Debi and my husband is playing Black Ops 2, as we speak.

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black ops 2, call of duty, gamer's wife

Is that Black Ops 2 in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

The Big Guy bought Back Ops 2 a couple months ago ( yeah, he is like a blogger with her outfits for a conference in August) but last night at midnight, he and my little brother headed to the nearest Game Stop to pick up their games and wait in the freezing cold along with all the other teenagers. He was very excited about this new game, so much so that he actually used a vacation day to be able to stay up all night killing zombies. Sounds crazy, right?

I guess I’d be concerned if I weren’t already consoling myself with the fact that if playing video games with my brothers and eating Doritos and drinking Coke all night long is the worst thing he does, I am pretty freaking lucky. I can deal with being a Black Ops 2 widow for a few hours ( 13 hours and 22 minutes at last count). He’s not slept in 32 hours now.

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black ops 2, call of duty

My brother playing across the foyer from my husband. Never mind the Christmas decorations being traumatized by the zombies being killed.

If our children are any indication, he should start to get cranky, slap happy and then pass out where he sits in 5, 4, 3, 2…..

I know I am not the only wife whose husband does this, were you abandoned last night? Maybe we should start a Black Ops 2 widow support group, in which we spend the free time painting our toenails and drinking mimosas?

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black ops 2, call of duty, gamer's wife

This is my #BlackOps2 Vampire after 33 hours with no sleep and playing Black ops 2 for 14 hours straight.

Are you a Black Ops 2 widow?

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moving, motherhood, being sick, new home. relocating

moving, motherhood, being sick, new home. relocating

I’ve been moving and trying not to die. I’ve disappeared off the face of the earth once again. Seems like I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told you all awhile back that our house sold and that we were closing on a house. It’s all been a cluster, as everything we ever do always is. Long story short, there were foundation issues. So on to the next house. We found another house, made an offer and closed last Friday. We are ecstatic, except for the fact that I have a tradition that I’d love to quit.

This is so sad but true. Just one more verse to what seems like the longest summer and saddest country song ever. I thought  “and my dog died” was the end. I mean, isn’t that the punch line? But no, there is more. We do everything the hard way around here, apparently.  On the day of closing, I woke up so sick that I, quite seriously, thought I would cry. Mind you, this was after a week of a raging case of the stomach flu.

It felt like I had swallowed razor blades. I had gotten no sleep and the pressure and pain in my head was only second to the unrelenting snot that was blocking every possible air passage that I have. I couldn’t breathe people. Just to add an element of surprise, I began randomly vomiting pure foaming snot. Yes, beautiful visual. Think morning sickness with quadruplets and a tequila hangover. It was not pretty folks.
This is not conducive to moving weekend. Did I mention that the last time we moved, I had to do it in the rain, by myself (my husband was out of town) and in the rain? I did.

Moving is hazardous to my health

This time, thank God, I had a team of moving helpers on Friday (my 3 brothers, my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and the Big guy) but we didn’t close until 6 pm on Friday night and by the time we got the truck (because it was the last ruck available in the history of the universe) it was almost 8 pm and pouring rain. The truck had to be back by 9 am. You can guess what happened next? Yes, we moved in the rain (again) into the wee hours of the night.

By this point, I couldn’t breathe and I look like a drowned rat. My eyes were sore; my head was aching. I was sure that I had west Nile, the Ebola virus or the freaking bubonic plague. You all know that I seem to catch the most outrageous diseases; whooping cough, herpangina and scarlet fever…all kids diseases, and I have caught them all as an adult since having children. So, it would be perfectly normal for me to assume that I had caught the plague from one of my carrier children via the elementary school aka cootie central. Damn it.

I just knew I was going to die. There was one point Saturday where I was so dizzy and my fever was so high that I swore I saw Jesus, right there in my living room. I’d assumed he’d come to take me and put me out of my misery. No such luck, it was just the appliance deliveryman. Too bad there was nowhere to deliver the appliances, as the kitchen has to be redone. But they are beautiful and shiny, stainless steel. I just wanted to lie against the appliances to cool down before I had a febrile seizure. But I couldn’t because on Saturday, I had to unload two pallets of wood flooring into the house. Never mind, that I was so sick that I could pass out at any moment and my eyes were rolling back into my head. Who cares if I were hacking and yakking on everything in sight? The house has no flooring right now so that took priority.

Just let me say it, Moving Sucks

I received no sympathy from anyone while moving, until Sunday when I could barely get mobile. Then I was told to stay home (because home is still my in laws because we couldn’t move into a house with no functioning kitchen or floors with small children) but it was said with the definite look of  “you should stay home if you are too much of a pussy to work. No problem, we will all work at YOUR house while you sleep in a plague-induced coma”. So, I did what any self –respecting woman would do, I got up, rubbed some dirt on it and took my daughter to the Nutcracker auditions, then picked up lunch for everyone helping with the moving and worked until I literally couldn’t breathe anymore.

Monday, I woke up determined to go to the doctor, the emergency room, anywhere that could prevent my untimely demise. My plan was to go get meds and then sleep until pick up. No such luck. The Big Guy woke up and said he too was sick. I made him go to the doctor. We’re both sick. He has Strep throat (but you’d think he was dying) and I have acute sinusitis with a side of ear infections because I am special. His comment to me on our half-dead ride home, “Man, you really were sick. I don’t feel like moving, just sleeping.”

“Yeah, me too asshole. All three days that I had to move in the rain while trying not to vomit on myself from the snot in my belly and the excruciating pain in my head.”

Next time we move, he’s paying professionals or doing it himself. It’s too hard on my health. But as soon as these antibiotics kick in, I’m moving into my new old house and finally, after 3 years, we will be a normal family again. The kids are ecstatic.

What’s your worst moving story?

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baby naming, pregnant belly, pregnancy

naming,baby naming, pregnant belly, pregnancy

Naming Your Baby is Giving them a Sense of Self

Naming your baby is a big decision. The minute we knew we were having a baby girl, we knew exactly that we would name her Bella. It had nothing to do with a Grandmother who had passed away; if that were the case our firstborn would have been named Daisy Militine. I did not name her after my best friends, as my mother had done me; if that were the case our firstborn would have been named Julia Nicole. There was no long drawn out ceremony of pouring over baby name books for months on end.There was a movie.

The Big Guy and I watched Fools Rush In together in the fall of 2007. We met and began dating on September 29th while we were both in our last year at Purdue. We watched the movie together over the Thanksgiving break. This movie will always hold a very special place in our hearts because it was the catalyst for the Big Guy to propose to me. The Big Guy saw our relationship reflected in the main characters (minus the unplanned pregnancy). He came into my life like a whirlwind and unexpectedly swept me off of my feet. He was everything, I never knew, I always wanted. He proposed 2 months later.

Naming Your Baby is their Trademark for Life

Why did we name our daughter after a character in a movie? Because that character in that innocuous, comedic love story changed our lives in the biggest way possible. We knew that the birth of our baby would change our lives in ways that we could never have imagined. None of it would have been possible if we had not sat on his parents’ couch late one Saturday night and watched that video. Naming our daughter after a movie that changed the course of our history seemed like the right thing to do. She is a constant reminder of how lucky we are to have found one another at a time when neither of us was looking.

I spoke to my baby in utero addressing her as Bella for months before she was born. The moment I held her in my arms, it was like finally meeting someone I had known my entire life. She completed us. She made us a family and not just a couple. She was our Bella. She is beautiful, smart, funny and witty and everything a parent could ever hope for in a child. Just like her Daddy and her sister after her, she was (and is) everything, I never knew, I always wanted.

It was easy for us to decide on our baby’s name. How did you decide on your baby’s name? Or do you have a great story on how your parents decided on your name? Tell me for a chance to win a year’s supply of cards from Cardstore.com!

In celebration of the 8 women who are pregnant, Cardstore.com has expanded their offering of birth announcements!

Official Sweepstakes Rules. This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Cardstore. The opinions and text about naming your baby are all mine.

Naming a Baby is Giving them A Tagline in the World

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The First Day of My Life

What do you say to the man who has given you everything? Tuesday, the Big Guy and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. I don’t even remember my life before he came into it. He is truly everything, I never knew, I always wanted. Laugh if you will but he does complete me.

I was not a whole person before I met him. He saved my life.

I grew up with a very difficult childhood. It was rough and there was a lot that I missed out on and even more than I didn’t even know existed. I never knew what unconditional love between a man and woman looked like. Before him, everything was about control. Somebody had and someone else didn’t.

With him, I learned that giving all of myself means to get everything in return.

I grew into who I was supposed to be when I met him. He accepted me and loved me for everything I was and everything I will never be.

He gave me the courage to go after my dreams. The love and support to know I could do anything. He gave me my greatest gift of all, my girls.

When I am down he lifts me up. When I need space to feel my feelings he does it even if he wants to fix it for me.

My life began the day I met him. In my darkest moments, he has been my rock. He has loved me through the good, the bad, and the ugly; the easy and the hard times. He’s loved me when I was at my best and loved me even harder when I was at my worst. When I am too weary to carry on, he picks me up and carries me.

Baby, I love you beyond reason and borders. Words cannot do justice to the depth of my love for you. It is immeasurable.

Thank you for so much but especially thank you for helping me to survive the past month. I know you are in pain too but you put me first and that is just the type of man you are.

I am so blessed in so many ways, even when life crashes down around us. I know that it will be all right because you will be there to take my hand and lift me up.

I will love you forever and for always, for all that you are and all that you do and most of all for all the unconditional love that you give me. The day that I met you was truly the first day of my life. Everything before that is a blur.

Thank you for loving me when I’ve felt my most unlovable. Thank you for teaching me what it means to truly be loved and to love completely. I am so blessed to share this journey of life with you. XOXO

 

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Divorce, separation,couples

Divorce, separation,couples

Separation is more than the space between two people

I am blessed that my heart is now a stranger to separation. Life is not always what I might have wanted or even what I had expected, every minute of every day. Sometimes things are harder than I think they should be or than I ever imagined they could be.

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love you

love you

How do I love you?Let me count the ways~ There are two camps for Valentine’s Day; the die hard head-over-heels, love to be in love and shower the people they love with trinkets on Valentine’s Day and those who hate the very idea of Valentine’s Day. Hallmark holiday, waste of money, uncomfortable for new couples camp.

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