Marriage equality is not an honor it is a right, like the right to breathe. They say that love is blind. The heart wants what the heart wants. God makes no mistakes. We teach our children all of these lessons on love and equality. We pound these ideas into their heads before they can even walk. We brainwash them to equate happiness with marriage and children and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence.
Where does marriage equality fall in all of this? All the fairy tale books end with the implication being that marriage is the happily ever after. But now we tell our children that if they don’t love who society deems acceptable, then they are doing something wrong and the punishment is to never have the happily ever after that we have taught them to desire since they were born. We need to change that. We need to change the laws and we need to change what we teach our children.We need to open up the dialogue when they are preschoolers,when they ask these questions. Answer them honesty and give them hope that life can be good for all of us, not just some of us.There are no them and us, there should only be we!
The other night, as I lay in bed with my five-year-old having our before bedtime conversation she asked me a question. One of the questions that I’ve been waiting for in parenthood. The question where I do my part to raise a good and kind human being with compassion and tolerance. My chance to change the fabric of my world. It starts with one person.
“Mommy, why did that boy kiss that boy? Aren’t boys supposed to marry girls?”
“He kissed that boy because he loves that boy. Some boys are born to love girls and some boys are born to love boys.”
“What about the girls? Am I supposed to love boys or girls?”
“Some girls love girls and some girls love boys. I don’t know who you were born to love but when the time is right, you will know and I will love you, no matter who you love.”
And with that, her face crinkled up and she said, “Okay, but Mommy I think I love boys because I love Joey but don’t tell anybody.” ( So, Internet, mums the word. This is top secret stuff over here.)
“Okay, your secret is safe with me.”
“But maybe Maya loves girls and that’s okay because she’s my best friend.”
And that was it. Now, my littlest girl knows that love comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions and sexual preferences and it’s all good because it’s all love.
Why can’t it be that simple for all of us?
I love that she has these conversations with me and asks me questions and tells me her secrets. I’d rather her learn love and understanding from me than hate and ignorance from someone else. We all need to teach our children from a very young age that it’s okay to love who their heart wants because God doesn’t make mistakes and they are exactly who they are supposed to be and they are more than enough. Marriage isn’t the happily ever after, unless marriage is available to everyone equally and it stands for being able to love someone openly and honestly for the rest of your life.
I’m raising my daughters to demand equality for all and to have love, tolerance and compassion for everyone. We don’t have the time or energy to waste on hate. Marriage equality will be truly possible when all people are treated equal, as humans.
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