Nutrisystem, My Real Weight & Photos to Prove it

nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, health, healthy

Yep, I’m pretty excited in the morning! Never mind the hair, this is a woman on a mission.

Yesterday, something exciting happened in my life, I went back on the Nutrisystem program. I am about come clean and get really honest with you about my weight. GULP! As many of you know, I was the poster child for eating disorders for 8 years. You know what having eating disorders for that amount of time does to your body? It really messes up your metabolism. My body was essentially in starvation mode for those 8 years and when I finally began to eat like a normal person, my metabolism dug it’s heels in and said, “nu-Uh bitch, you’re not starving us again. We’re holding on to everything.” Which, I deserved. My poor body has been through hell. Well, then it snowballed out of control.

I had to go on some medication and guess what those meds do to you? They make you fat! When you are in an episode of mania, you need your meds so my choices were sanity and my marriage or gain a few pounds. By a few, I mean I gained about 50 pounds when I stopped throwing up and starving myself. I gained another 40 pounds from meds. Then, I got depressed about the weight and I started eating my feelings and from then on, every time something bad happened or stressed me out, I found myself filling the hole with food without even thinking about it. And that puts me where I am today, the past year has been hard, I ate to suppress the aching in my heart and so when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning I weighed 248.6.  The heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. That is about 111 pounds from where I want to be. It’s a person.

Nutrisystem, NSNation, diet, weight loss, health

Proof! No comment on the Fred Flintstone feet and bad pedicure, I have bigger problems at hand.

I’ve done every diet there is. Honestly, if it’s a diet. I have tried it. The only thing I don’t do is diet pills and medications because it would not be good for me. I’ve been recovering from eating disorders for 15 years and non-episodic for 10 years. I prefer to stay that way. My girls need me and I sorta love my life right now, except for the weight!

Nutrisystem, NSNation, diet, health, healthy lifestyle, weight loss

Yeah, apparently I got a pair of those bad Lululemon yoga pants because I’m pretty sure that I saw skin through those suckers. That’s why you get a confused face over my arse.

My big news is that I’ve been given the privilege of becoming a Nutrisystem Nation Blogger again and yesterday was day one. I am 100% on board and I am not quitting until I am at a healthy weight. My long-term goal is to weigh somewhere between 137-150 pounds. My short-term goal is to lose 5% of my body weight, so about 13 pounds.

Nutrisystem, NSNation, diet, weight loss, health, healthy lifestyle

NO, I am not pregnant!

Some of you might remember that I was on the Nutrisystem program in 2010 and lost 21 pounds. I’ve got to be honest, last time I didn’t take full advantage of the opportunity. I didn’t use the awesome online tools and I don’t think I used the program exactly as I was supposed to. This time I sat down and read through all of the literature before getting started. I am using the online tools along with my fitbit to track my exercise and food. I am measuring my food on my EatSmart food scale and I am planning my meals ahead of time. Ahead.of.Time!

We are walking as a family every night. I’m jumping on the trampoline with the girls and soon we will be hitting the pool. I am considered obese which frightens me because when I think of obese, I think of Gilbert Grape’s mom. This isn’t a joke. This is my life. I deserve better than being held prisoner by my weight and a number on a scale. I don’t want to have to consider my weight before I answer questions, travel or do the things I want to do. I just want to live…for a really long time so I am baring it all.

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From the other side,look a that sexy hair!

So, that’s me, completely honest and naked (metaphorically) in front of you. I’ll be sharing real photos, not the shot from above slimming FB profile kind. Wish me luck. I have a long road ahead of me but I think with my family’s support, Nutrisystem and all of you, I can finally conquer the one thing I have yet to conquer…my weight. Failure is not an option. I will be posting update photos and my weight the first Monday of every month. I will also be posting a vlog, the last Monday of each month plus I will be sharing my journey once  a week throughout.  Stick around. I am about to kick this weight’s ass, the right way this time.

Nutrisystem, NSNation, weight loss, diet, health, healthy lifestyle

This is my mantra for now and forever!

Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting

Nutrisystem, NSNAtion, weight loss, diet, health, healthy lifestyle



Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.



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  1. Michael Lombardi  /  2013/06/04, 6:11 pm Reply

    Good luck! It’s something most of us struggle with. But hey it’s good to see the real you. From the picture in the sidebar where you can’t see your eyes, I thought you looked like Queen Regina from Once Upon A Time. And I know her name is Lana Parilla or something and not Deborah Cruz.
    Michael Lombardi recently posted..Nails in the Coffin

    • Deborah Cruz  /  2013/06/04, 9:21 pm Reply

      Well, my friend, I don’t know if that is a compliment that you thought I looked like Lana Parilla or an insult that I look so not like her on the day the photo was taken. LOL Honestly, I don;t usually look that bad when I go out. It was first thing in the morning and the bed head was out of control:) But, I don’t always have on make up, my hair straightened and my sunglasses.The weight has been coming on for the past 15 years and it’s time I take that bitch off. The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? So, there I went and now I am accountable to the entire internet. Good going Debi!

      • Michael Lombardi  /  2013/06/05, 12:13 pm Reply

        You do realize that you spent the first 2/3rds of your reply on the fact that you don’t look like Lana Parilla, but you also don’t look like your own picture very often. For the record, I said nothing of you not looking like her. Of course she’s gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean you’re anything less. I know a lot of this is mental and I struggle too. Feel free to let me know if you need buddy anytime.
        Michael Lombardi recently posted..Nails in the Coffin

        • Deborah Cruz  /  2013/06/05, 1:02 pm Reply

          You are sweet. This is why we are doing the family walks. It helps stay motivated when I am not the lone wolf eating the weird food all alone or needing to exercise. This was my husband is more active,I’m walking, the girls are getting a good example and we are all together talking. & yes, I can’t take a compliment to save my life..the eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder have done a trick on my body image and self-esteem where the body is concerned ( doesn’t matter what size I am or what I look like, I am never satisfied with it). Trying to change that. And yeah, I am mental alright:)LOL
          I always love your comments on my body image issue posts because I never really saw it from the perspective of men having those same issues. I mean, I know they do but my brothers and dad are all very athletic so they never really talked to me about any kind of image issues. Thanks for your input.

          • Michael Lombardi  /  2013/06/05, 8:26 pm

            Thank you, I’m the complete opposite of athletic. I feel like an addict, it’s just in the middle where I’m not over BMI 40, but I’m not within 75 of where I should be, so I can’t get help. :(

            I watched the first season of Grey’s Anatomy and I remember her being pretty smokin, but I haven’t seen it in years so unless you were an identical twin I wouldn’t think of her.
            Michael Lombardi recently posted..U-Pick ‘Em

        • Deborah Cruz  /  2013/06/05, 1:06 pm Reply

          Oh and I never even thought about looking like Lana Parilla with my short hair but I can definitely see it now. I usually get compared to Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez) on Grey’s Anatomy because of our similar features.

  2. Lisa Reed  /  2013/06/04, 11:57 pm Reply

    I too signed up for Nutrisystem… well first time for me. And I’m glad I came upon your blog. We have the same body type. All in the belly. Good luck to you!

    • Deborah Cruz  /  2013/06/05, 9:50 am Reply

      Good luck to us both, Lisa!! We can do it. I am sick of worrying about this belly or how I look. I want to look and feel healthy and I want to be around for a long, long time for my girls.

  3. Molley@A Mother Life  /  2013/06/08, 5:59 pm Reply

    This is exciting… I’m looking forward to seeing your progress. Good luck!
    Molley@A Mother Life recently posted..It’s Harlem, We See Plenty of Crazy….

  4. [...] Monday, I started Nutrisystem. I’ve been following the program for a week and I have lost 5 pounds and 4 ounces. I know that with any program you start, the first week is a [...]

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