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You are what you think you are!

by Deborah Cruz

I have found this to be very true in my life; if you change your attitude,and change your perspective you will in effect change your life and your circumstances.We are only as miserable as we allow ourselves to be. If we decide to count our blessings rather than our problems, we will be much happier ( and have loads more free time!). Its easy to get down on ourselves and think,” Poor me! Look what life has done to me! I have nothing I want and everything is against me!” Yes, that is easy. We’ve all been there and we are all entitled to visit that place once in awhile. Pity parties are a right of passage. The problem is when we decide to dwell in miserable town; to stake a claim and make a life. Whats not easy is to say, “EFF you  circumstances..you are NOT bringing me down! I am a fighter and I am about to kick your miserable ass! I will be happy, even if it kills one of us!” That’s what I want to teach my girls.
I’ve noticed lately that my girls are spending  wasting an inordinate amount of time wanting things because others have them. I don’t mind if you want something for the sheer pleasure or id desire to have it, but I will not tolerate children who want things only because others have them. Lately, they want the same thing everyone else has but…bigger, brighter, newer.  I don’t know where they have learned this. I am not materialistic. Wait! I love nice things, but the most important things to me are people and relationships, health and happiness. Things are just that…things. I grew up poor, things do not define me. Who I am, what I believe/stand for, what I make of myself, how I treat others..that’s how I measure my success. Not by the things that I own. But I see/hear my little girls getting upset because they are measuring themselves against what others have..material possessions. We had a big blow out over a friggin soccer goal. Oh yeah, you heard me correctly. My daughters have loads of toys, a swing set, a pool to splash in, every thing a kid could want..even a soccer goal. Apparently, theirs is not as large as the neighbors and so they demanded that I must buy them a larger one. WTF? I sat them both down (because I think you are never too young to learn this lesson) and told them to be grateful for those things they do have….their health, their parents, all the love in the world, a home, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, friends, and more toys then most children know what to do with. I explained that they already have a goal and the neighbor may have a bigger soccer goal ( that her parents probably found at a garage sale..lucky smart people) but they have so much more and should be happy for her that she has that nice big goal. I am trying to teach them to be happy for others successes, to measure themselves only against themselves , and to share and be generous. A life of coveting others things only leaves a person with an unsatisfied taste in their mouth. Be happy with what you have, be happy for others peoples successes and work hard to enjoy your own successes. Remember an uncelebrated success is a failure.You are what you think you are, so be happy!

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Laina 2010/06/01 - 6:29 am

what a lovely reminder. It's very easy to get caught up in todays microwave society. That's a great lesson to teach your girls. And even one we, as adults can learn from. 🙂

Lanita @ A Mother's Hood 2010/06/01 - 9:06 am

Amen Sister! "Keeping up with the Jones'" starts very early. If, as parents, we all agreed not to out do each other, we wouldn't have whiny, materialistic children. But someone always has to break the parent code…then we are all screwed.

parenting ad absurdum 2010/06/01 - 11:48 am

Love you, truthful mommy. It's just want I needed this morning!

purseblogger 2010/06/01 - 3:43 pm

I love this! It's so true. 🙂

Robin 2010/06/01 - 8:09 pm

There is always someone who will have more than you do. A surefire way to stay miserable is to want more than everyone else. Good life lesson. I hope that they learn it young. Their lives will be the richer for the knowing. Great post.

Nikki 2010/06/01 - 8:57 pm

So well said!!! I too love my "nice" things but I want my daughter to know that thats not what life is all about!!! It's going to be a huge challenge though for every parent because of the world we live in! It's too bad and ya know…sometimes I'm guilty of it too! Great post…it made me think….why ya gotta go and make me think??? LOL!!!!

Truthful Mommy 2010/06/02 - 12:17 am

Thanks for the comments girls!@ Lanita…If it can prevent whining….OMG, that is all that needs to be said. I abhor whining! It makes my ears bleed..but that's another post all together.
@ PERyl, Love you too!
@ RObin, I am trying to teach them but I think coveting is like falling in love…some things you have to experience the heartbreak of it to fully understand why it is not a good idea.I can guide and inform, but I'm pretty sure it will take some more actual life application to prove my point to them.
@ Nikki, we are all guilty of it.I don't expect my girls to be perfect, but I want to give them a good firm point of reference.


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