The First rule of Baby Talk is that there is NO Baby Talk!

Baby Talk, I’ve never been a fan. Don’t get me wrong, when I see and adorable wee little ones my mind ( and uterus) loses all it’s God given sense and turns into a baby scooping maniac ( just as much as the next Mommy) but I don’t do the whole baby talk thing. I may have done it before I had children, who can remember back that far but since having my girls, I’ve always felt the need to only speak to them in complete sentences, using correct vocabulary and syntax. This probably has a lot to do with the extensive vocabularies my girls now have at 4 and 6.  It also, probably explains why they were speaking in full sentences around the age of 18 months. We never used baby talk, just like we never used binkies and in doing so they were never needed or wanted them.

babytalk

 Baby Talk

So, basically for the past 6 years I’ve walked around the world thinking to myself, ” That Poor Mom has to figure out a way to get that damn binkie out of that 5 year old’s mouth before kindergarten ( kindergarten teachers have no tolerance for binky suckers (some of them are quite cold blooded..the teachers not the kids)” or “Awww, that little kid is going to get made fun of because they are still talking baby talk.That Poor Mommy and baby.” My girl still spoke with a baby voice when she started kindergarten but it has always been in complete sentences, even if her R’s were soft and she sounded like a teenie tiny mouse when she spoke. It was complete,understandable sentences..damn it.

Oh but don’t hate me too much yet, NOW at the ripe old ages of 4 and 6 the girls have decided that it might be fun to play with the binkies they found from when they were newborn. They chew them like they are candy. Apparently, they dually serve as child chew toys for the older set. Who knew? And that baby talk that has never existed in our house…well, my girls like to “play” baby and talk …BABY TALK! Have you any idea how maddening it is to hear a 6 year old purposely talk in baby talk? It is one of the most annoying things I have ever been witness to.

Baby TalkJust Say No to Baby Talk

I asked her repeatedly to quit the baby talk but she wanted no part of my pleas. I was becoming increasingly frustrated. At my wits end, I decided to turn the tables and start using baby talk when I spoke to her. Judging from the wide eyed, gaping mouth expression that it was met with, I could see that my girl was NOT approving of my speaking in baby talk.

“Mommy, you sound crazy. It’s so annoying.STOP!”

Me:”I will, if you will!”

Shes 6 so obviously, she wasn’t giving it up without a fight. She continued to baby talk around the house. She thinks it sounds cute when she does it. Let me assure, she is cute but the baby talk is NOT.  It was seriously driving the Big Guy and myself batty. This had to be nipped in the bud. School is starting in a couple of weeks. So, I continued to baby talk too, even going as far as to do it in public. The horror ( for both of us). This, apparently, was enough to scare her into submission. My game of baby talk chicken has turned out in my favor. Next, I’m applying this thought process to everything. Never underestimate the power of a healthy dose of embarrassment. You see, the first rule of baby talk is there is no baby talk!

What bad habit has your child picked up that you had to break? What did you do? Was is binky addiction? Bottle retention? Lovey enslavement? Hitting? Biting? Attachment fixation? A jonesing for the thumb? Or a good healthy does of

Baby Talk abuse

 

*No children were abusively embarrassed by this post on baby talk. All embarrassment was in moderation and in the realm within God given rights of all parents to bestow upon their offspring, especially when trying to thwart the use of excessive baby talk.

Comments (3)

Amen! My husband and I agreed long before the baby was born that baby talk is banned in our house. And we’ve talked to our son in full sentences since he was born. He’s 19 months now and has a great vocabulary for his age and he talks nonstop!

I love how you handled the baby talk – though I cannot fathom you doing it lol.

Yes, I do know how maddening it is! Must be a 6 year old thing because my daughter will “play” baby talk. I’ve gotten to the point where I refuse to acknowledge her until she speaks like a big girl. And our son, although a late talker, started with small sentences and we can understand everything he says so far.

HAHA!
Good for you for turning the tables!
My daughter has a “binkie” but it’s not called that. In our house it’s a foofie (an old family name for the ugly thing) and we have just began the rule of no “foofie” outside of the house.
I am in hell.
BUT it has to be done.
That’s when I discovered the hitting.
At this time I am ignorning. We do not praise negative behaviour so I’m seeing how this goes before I hog tie her.

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