Leaving on a Jet Plane~ This is the sort of Sunday that I thought our family was done with forever. The Big Guy has a business trip this week. It’s only for 3 days and that’s infinitely better than the commuter marriage we were dealing with the last couple of years. Nonetheless, the bitter sting of the past 2 years lingers around us like slow rising fog. We are cloaked and covered in it’s residue of pain. The girls are just coming to terms with their abandonment issues and we are all just getting used to the fact that we are together and nobody is leaving. When the Big Guy told the girls at bedtime tonight that he would be leaving for Boston in the morning for a few days, it quickly became evident just how open the wound still is.
Abbi immediately started hyperventilating crying and leopard spotting when she realized he was leaving . The Big Guy tried to console her, as his own heart took some painful cuts. Concurrently, Ella is standing there in stoic, quiet solitude as her lip quivered and her eyes fill with tears at the thought of yet another goodbye. I wanted, so badly, to reach out to them ( all three of them) and reassure them that this is just a business trip but for my girls, there is no such thing as JUST a short business trip. In the end, every time he leaves now…it is him leaving us. They’ve spent too many Sunday’s saying goodbye at their tender ages and it has taken it’s toll. Tonight, the Big Guy laid down to read stories as they gathered around and nestled into him. The three of them fell asleep in a blissful dreamy blur. One of the most beautiful things a Mom can ever see is the man she loves loving their children so completely. We had planned to spend the night together, he and I, snuggled close. Sometimes the cologne on his body transfers itself to my nightgown, such a small thing but a luxury when you are so used to someone leaving. Tonight my simple sacrifice will go a long way in our daughters’ hearts. These are the moments they will look back on and remember, the small gestures of us loving them. I love the way my Big Guy loves our littles and in his loving them, I love him more than I ever thought was possible. I hope the next three days are the fastest we’ve ever experienced. Absence, in small doses, makes the hearts grow fonder and the return home that much more sweet.